I feel you have a good start to this story but the prologue doesn't give any indication to what the Silent Killer is. I also found this to be too short. The content is good but you need to expand on it. If you do that, I would consider breaking this piece up into smaller paragraphs. I hope my suggestions help.
You have created a beautiful work of art here in this poem. I found this poem to be extremely eloquent. You certainly have a way with words.
You have given Love, many different faces in this piece. It shows the reader that it can be found in everyday things if we are open enough to see it.
I didn't see anything that I would call an error but I did notice that you have the word 'Love' capitalized only in two places and the rest are all lowercase. Not sure if this makes any significant difference but I figured I would mention it.
I am very thankful to you for enlightening me. I had no idea honeybees were disappearing. You pay them a glowing tribute in this very informative poem.
You have a good, strong rhyme scheme working in this poem. The words flow freely from the page and create a stunning scene. There are no spelling errors in this poem and all of the proper punctuation was used. Great work my friend!
I think this is a lovely poem that speaks of deep seeded desire. It's unfortunate that the object of desire is no longer there. You have expressed yourself well in this piece.
I did see one error in the fourth line. You forgot to capitalize your 'I'. I also feel that this poem would benefit from more punctuation. In addition, each line should be started with a capital letter.
These suggestions, of course are only my opinion and you are the best judge of what is right for your work.
I was immediately drawn into this story right from the very first line. It was certainly at attention grabber.
You have the start of something I think is going to be a hit. Your storyline is fantastic. You give little bits and pieces of information to keep the reader interested but not enough to give away the goods all at once. The imagery you have created for this story is great. Awesome writing. I am looking forward to finding out what happens next.
Looking at this story from a technical aspect, I didn't see any errors. The overall compostion is fantastic. Great work my friend.
It hurts my heart to think of anyone being so unloved that they would need to beg for it. This poem is very sad and shows the reader what desperation looks like. It evokes many emotions in its readers.
Looking at this piece from a technical point, I don't feel that the ellipses are needed. The same effect can be achieved with proper punctuation. I didn't see any spelling errors and all of the grammar is fine.
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It was really weird but as I read this poem I swore I could smell lilacs. Talk about eerie! It's poems like this that really make the reader take notice to the talent of the writer. My father always loved lilacs and I would bring some home with me everytime I passed a lilac bush. This poem brought back wonderful memories of my father who has been gone now for almost 16 years. Thank you for sharing it.
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Before reading this piece I have never heard of a Torchwalk. It sounds like something I would enjoy. I envy you for having had the opportunity to travel as you have. I have seen your webpage and your military service is impressive.
This poem shares your experience with others and gives them a sneak peek of what it was like. Great poem Steph.
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I personally appreciate the honestly I found in this item. You explained your system in plain english and didn't leave anything in doubt. I like the way you categorized everything so everyone can see exactly why you rate the way you do. This is one of the best guidelines for reviewing I have seen. Awesome work my friend.
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This poem was a mix of emotions for me. I once thought that my life was defined by the man in it. I lived the way they wanted me to live and by doing so I lost myself. Since that time I have found my soulmate. HER arms are where I belong and is what's right for me.
Your poem shows the reader that love can be complicated. We never know what to expect or where we will end up. All we can do is trust our heart and see where it takes us.
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You have captured what I feel are the most important aspects of Hallow's Eve. I think this is the kind of poem that would appeal to young children. Just the mere mention of Halloween sets them into a frenzy. It is such a magical time of year!
I would love to see an image to go with this poem. You have given us so much to see it would be an even bigger treat to have a picture that went with the poem. Once again, there were no errors found.
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The images and sentiment of this lovely poem are breath-taking. You have a wonderful way of making your readers feel what you write. That is an admirable talent. I am usually a stickler for punctuation but in this poem I don't feel it's needed. It is perfect as is.
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The images that came to mind when I read this were a myriad of darkness. I suppose they would be different for everyone. I found great power hidden in the words of this poem. It is quite fascinating.
I didn't find any problems with the form of this poem. All the the proper punctuation is used and there are no spelling errors.
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Depression is a crippling disorder that is so misunderstood. I can relate well to this poem because I suffer from major depression. I have learned that I am not alone and that there is always someone somewhere who shares our story.
You have put a great deal of emphasis on the most horrific aspects of this dreadful affliction. I hope it helps others reach out and ask for help. Awesome poem Pat.
I agree with you 100% that our past cannot be changes and we must do whatever we can to mold our future. While I was reading this poem I cold feel the honesty and sincerity in your words. It was very comforting.
I didn't see any technical issues with this poem and I didn't find any spelling mistakes. I hope you find everything you are looking for.
Your express yourself very eloquently in this lovely poem. It speaks to the reader and allows them an peek into your life.
I didn't see any spelling errors in this poem and the flow is fine. I do feel however, it needs punctuation. By adding it, it will give each line more emphasis. This of course is just my opinion and only you can decide what is best for your work.
I really enjoyed this poem that speaks of memories of the past. I noticed that you listed that this poem was written in lyric form. While I read it I tried to find a tune that it would go well with. I think it's lovely.
This piece reads well, have great flow and I didn't find any spelling errors. Nice work!
I am completely awestruck by the absolute splendor of this poem. You have captured the personality of Katrina perfectly. The way in which you described her fury was breath-taking, majestic but at the same time devastating. This poem for me is pure and utter perfection!
I could sense a great deal of frustration came with the writing of this poem. It certainly gives the reader an idea about the overall tone of this piece. The repitition you used in the beginning of this poem if the perfect opening for the title. The meter is smooth and the form is fine. I didn't find any errors but I would recommend adding some punctuation.
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This poem for me spoke about life's tragedies and personal achievements. It sends a strong message to its readers that no matter what the situation and how bad it may look, there is always hope.
I didn't see any problems with the form of this poem and there are no errors. Write on!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
I simply cannot belive that this amazing collection of cNotes has never been rated. I am appalled! The images you have here are superb and they are decorated beautifully. The image with the blue lady saying "Hello There" is absolutely gorgeous! I am so glad I came across this collection. I am going to add it to my favorites.
I like the premise of this poem and the inspirational feel, however, there are a few things that need work.
My first suggestion would be to remove the & symbols and replace them with the word. It looks entirely out of place in this context. Secondly, you should consider adding punctuation. It would add more emphasis to the poem. I also saw that you have the wrong punctuation here:I"m I hope you find my suggestions helpful.
I love the message that you bring with this poem. We all know that as long the Lord above is with us there isn't anything we can't do. It may be hard, even excrutiating, but if we have faith in the end all is worth it.
Your poem is lovely. It has great form and meter and I didn't find any errors. Write on!
This is an incredible story and as far fetched as it may be for some people I truly believe this could happen. I am curious if you are going to add more to it and include Evangelica. I think it would make this even better. I'd like to see where you could take it.
Looking at the overall composition of this piece, I must say it's great. You certainly know how to tell a story. All of the grammar, punctuaion are flawless. I did however find one spelling error: Will you be willing to discard you illusions The 'you' should be 'your'.
I look forward to hearing from you in regards to the expansion of this story.
I am truly amazed at the insight of this phenominal poem. You have a gift for writing my friend. Your poem is prolific and reached deep into my soul and made me review my life. Wow!
This poem has excellent form and the meter is seamless. There are also no errors. Keep up the good work.
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