Is Jules Miles and Jules Might the same person?
In the
"The queen has returned, hear ye" , the name was Jules Miles.
In this story
"I want her found!" , the name is Jules Might.
Meat, Measal, Sir Grey, Meek, and possibly other names are missing from the list of character names.
Sentence Structure
Mest Cardinal the guard at the
gqte
Mest Cardinal the guard at the
gate
... ... they waited with
baited breath ... ...
... ... they waited with
bated breath ... ...
... ... his mouth hung
a gape.
... ... his mouth hung
agape.
The evil ruler
has been abdicated from the throne ... ...
The evil ruler
has abdicated the throne ... ...
The evil ruler
has been ousted from the throne ... ...
Abdicate is an action that the ruler would make.
putting
When Putting on the throne or Putting in place of someone on the throne, I understand from the context what is meant.
However, throughout the series, putting has been used in a way where it sounds more like it refers to an inanimate object rather than a person.
Perhaps express this idea in different ways.
The vice regency
put her in place, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
put Lady Oliva in charge, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
put her in charge of the Kingdom, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
put power into the hands of this woman, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
granted her the power, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
granted power to this woman, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
made her the ruler, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
made her the Queen, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
made Lady Oliva the Queen, by the letter of the king ... ...
The vice regency
made Marissa's sister Oliva the Queen, by the letter of the king ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
in putting her in place of me, ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
in making her the Queen, ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
in putting her in charge, ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
when we put her in charge, ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
when she put in charge, ... ...
I am sorry about the error we had made
when she made ruler in my place, ... ...
Our - First person or Third person narrative?
When the tense switches, it becomes difficult to understand and to follow because I keep looking for quotation marks. In my mind, someone is talking. It is hard to determine if a character in the story is talking or if this is the narrator's voice.
Since most of the story is already told in third person, I suggest editing to make the story to keep the narration in third person
She opposed
our religious order, and tried to topple the religious house.
Our BIshop opposed the rulings of the queen who was on the throne until today, but were unable to quash the behaviour of her doing this.
She opposed
the religious order, and tried to topple the religious house.
The BIshop opposed the rulings of the queen who was on the throne until today, but were unable to quash the behaviour of her doing this.
Queen Marissa
The surprise of seeing Queen Marissa come across clearly. The guards at the castle appear genuinely surprised to see the Queen. Coke, one of the guards, appeared afraid upon discovering that he had been tricked into believing that he had been guarding Queen Marissa. I enjoyed seeing him faint. It was unexpected.
What an exciting moment. I would like to know more about how the viceroy was able to trick the guards. From their behavior, they seemed familiar with their Queen, and can recognize the sound of her voice.
Question 1 Does Queen Marissa and her sister Oliva look very similar?
Question 2 Has Queen Oliva ever come out of the Castle?
Question 3 What happened to make the guards believe that they were guarding Queen Marissa.
Queen's Chamber
The guards at the Queen's Chamber were willing to fight and protect the person who they thought was the Queen. I would like to know why they are convinced that the person they are guarding is the real Queen.
Bishop
It seems the Bishop is one of the few people who do not have trouble with the sudden appearance of Queen Marissa.
Does this mean, he has always known that the other Queen was the false Queen?
False Queen
I am questioning whether "false" may mean something other than what I initially thought. Perhaps the definition of "false" will become clearer in later installments. I wish there was a clearer picture as to why these people at the Castle (except for the Bishop) have a difficult time accepting Queen Marissa when she is standing in front of them.
Overall Impression
The scenes are much clearer in this installment. I felt like I was watching a play.
I could feel Queen Marissa's presence. There was a sense that all eyes and attention were on Queen Marissa when she was in the room.
There was a humorous moment when one of the guards fainted.
I loved how the colors jumped off the page when Queen Marissa's attire was described.
I loved how the story filled with details such as porticus and cocktail gloves.
I loved the drama of seeing the heeled boot of the mysterious person coming out of the royal coach.