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Review of Mood in Poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Vivian,
Thank you for this article regarding mood and poetry.
I appreciated the illustration with two poem examples.
I will be considering mood more when I write.
Thank you,
Write On!
Deb
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127
Review of Sunday Morning  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Thank you, Jessi Jean, for sharing some great word prompts for Sunday activities.
Deb
128
128
Review of December haiku  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Vignette1*Personal Impression: Caught by the title, and form, I was snared by the reference to lilac bushes budding. - I just noticed mine were, too.
*Vignette2*Tone & Mood: Warm, then crash: reality freezes me out.
*Vignette3*Rhyme, Form & Flow: Good form, nice alliteration :warm, weather lingers, lilac bushes, bud assonance: tonight, ice
*Vignette4* Emotional Impact: Love Lilacs, and most references to them. This poem sums up this bizarre winter, too. Well done.
*Vignette5*Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.

*Vignette6*Write On!
Deb



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
129
129
Review of Coffee  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Poethero,
Disclaimer: This is my opinion. I hope it is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this work *Music2*

*Music2*Title: Suitable to the poem

*Music2*Form/Style: Free verse, it works for this reader

*Music2*Tone: Thought it is told almost journalistically, I sense caution, awkwardness from him

*Music1*Flow/Rhythm: No steady rhythm noted, more a parrying conversation.

*Music1*Rhyme: N/A

*Music2*Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation: Effective: backpedaled, capitulated, smirked, smiled and sighed. No spelling errors noted. A full stop at the end of stanza 2 would be consistent with the other punctuation.

Emotional Chord Struck: I felt for him at his rejected goodwill gesture. Hoped she would soften and warm to him and give he a chance...
A totally unrelated chord struck. As a birthmother, I reacted strongly to the image of the child waiting for a meeting. Breaks my heart...

Overall: Nice brief picture in word.
Write On!
Deb
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130
Review of Smooth As Glass  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing this short video in words of the immediate aftermath of your father's death.
I am effected by the simple words that carry such weight. The descriptions of your father, the view in the window of the planes, the separation between you and your father's family.
I hope you received some healing in writing and sharing this story.
write on.
Deb
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131
Review of Tears and Rain  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Disclaimer: This is my opinion. I hope it is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this work *Music2*

*Music2*Title: Suitable

*Music2*Form/Style: This free verse poem well suits the subject, its gentle, short lines are like softly falling tear/raindrops. I would suggest that the author consider centering the lines. I believe it would visually enhance this poem.

*Music2*Tone: Mellow, almost solemn, a quiet prayer for a friend.

*Music1*Imagery: effective

*Music1*Flow/Rhythm: The flow is good, smooth, except for a couple lines that seem to ask for a pause: I would suggest a comma after "on and on" and after "the soul"

*Music1*Rhyme: the rhyming seems to be random, but it does not detract from the reading of this poem.

*Music2*Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation: good word choice. I believe it should be "hide the shining sun," instead of "hides the..." to agree with "clouds"

Emotional Chord Struck: I resonate with this poem of sympathy and care for a hurting poem, I have written a similar poem to process the same emotions.

Overall: Well written. A good read.
Write On!
Deb
132
132
Review of Broken Vessel  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
DISCLAIMER: *Vine1*This comes to you as a reader would see your work. I have only my opinion to
> offer. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings
> about. If it struck a chord etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL
> CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the
> author's work.*Vine2*
>
>
> *Leaf*TITLE: Very Appropriate to this poem and subject.
>
> *LeafBr*IMAGERY: The theme of self as a broken vessel is a vivid image, and works well in this poem.

> *LeafG*EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I relate to the writer's feeling of loneliness, despair, pain, and rejoice in the realization of hope in his savior, end result is uplifting.
>
> *LeafO*TONE: Shifting from dark and sad inward looking to outward vision of others needs.

> *Pencil*SPELLING/punctuation ERRORS: In the brief description: despare, should be despair. I would suggest the inclusion of more punctuation. It would help guide the reader in pausing at the right places.
>
> *LeafY*FLOW: There is no regular rhyme, or number of syllables per line, so the flow is not smooth. This is not unpleasant, if it is the author's intention.
>
> *LeafR*OVERALL: I found this poem through the sponsored items view. I am pleased to have read it.
Write On!
Deb

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133
Review of Indifference  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Catharsis: Writing to Survive!  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Ystab,
Thank you for posting this poem.
It conveys the anguish of being ignored, to the point of the one desiring attention dying.
I felt the last stanza was appropriately climactic.

Write On!
Deb
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134
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Legerdemain,
This brief piece of opinion struck me deeply tonight. A friend's wife died unexpectedly leaving 3 young children and my friend to carry on.
This piece challenges me to stop thinking of the horror of her brief illness and death, but honor the wonderful gifts of herself she left behind in memories with her family.
Thank you for writing and sharing this piece.

My own experience of loss and grief has been more melancholy. I wrote a poem "Solitude" which I think is better than one you reviewed recently (Homage to an Illusion) Thank you for your honest remarks on Homage. It has been "privatized"

Your challenge to remember the life, not the death is appreciated.

Write On!
Deb
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135
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Kristina,
Thank you for sharing this poem. It is an accurate picture of the world I, too, see.
I hope your view of the world as it could be comes to pass.

Deb
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136
Review of Self Pity  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*PawPrints* *PawPrints* Title: suitable, sets the tone well
*PawPrints* Personal Impression: I read this because I indulge in a fair amount of self-pity, and wanted to rub in it like a dog with a fresh pile of something.
Tone & Mood: woe is me, the mood is set... but it isn't over yet, and the writer points out "self-pity will hold us as long as we let it"
*PawPrints**PawPrints* Rhyme, Form & Flow: Rhyme-N/A, Form: interesting use of form as the self-pity builds, the lines lengthen. Flow: see grammar comments.
Emotional Impact: I appreciated the subtle charge to not stay in self-pity's grip.
*PawPrints* Grammar/Punctuation: My opinion is :please use some end punctuation in this piece. You used some commas, but then I didn't always follow when the thought was complete. I wonder, did you mean to place a period after "things will be better" instead of a comma. You then capitalized We, so it caused a little confusion to my reading of this piece when you used punctuation haphazardly. Just my opinion for a smoother, more coherent read.
Overall: I liked the visual descent into self-pity and the challenge to break free.
Write On!
Deb

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Review of Anguish  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Renee,
This free verse poem is so descriptive and full of imagery of the Anguished Soul... You illustrated it so well.
I have no suggestions, just wanted to share that I found this poem to perfectly suit the Title, and to encourage you to:
Write On!
Deb
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138
Review of The Garden Statue  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Harry,
I found this storeom? while reading the submissions for the poetry contest. I am deeply moved by your depiction of the garden statue, and the brief, perfect moment early on Christmas morning when the Christ Child is revealed.
Thank you for sharing this piece.
I have no suggestions.
Write On!
Deb
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Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Sorry I am not "taking time" for a thorough review of this thoughtful, informative, and well-written piece....
I didn't want to lose it as I sign off and get back to studying Anatomy.

Thank you for sharing this poem about Weaving.
Enjoyed it very much.

Deb
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140
Review of This Respite  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Brainstormers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
SWPoet,
Thank you for sharing this poem. It is so real to me... Though I have not been through a length of time apart from my spouse, I have experienced the hesitancy, uncertainty of trying to learn to live in sync.

This piece contains beautiful, vivid imagery, and speaks eloquently of the struggles of this time in this relationship.
I have no suggestions.
I do like the centered lines. The fit the idea of the trapeze in the circus, in my mind.

Write On!
Deb
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141
Review of Fair Exchange  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Disclaimer: This is my opinion. I hope it is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this work *Music2*

*Music2*Title: Suitable to this piece

*Music2*Form/Style: Appropriate for a tribute, for the content of this piece

*Music2*Tone: Straightforward, earnest. Brings home the message.

*Music1*Imagery: Good: especially liked: "not a robber", "feral soul", "never plunder my reserves"

*Music1*Flow/Rhythm: Easy rhythm, smooth flow to my ear.

*Music1*Rhyme: N/A

*Music2*Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation: Good word choice. No spelling errors noted. I would suggest a comma at the end of "dispenses wisdom and truth," and after "No, no"

Emotional Chord Struck: A good read, encouraging to hear of such a constant friend.

Overall: This piece was a good, solid read. Liked the message. Hope the friend hears it, too.
Write On!
Deb
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Review of THE LAST MARCH  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Sorciere,
This is a tough poem to read. As is the knowledge that humans can be so cruel to one another.
Thank you for writing this heart-wrenching history of your father's march.
I have no suggestions.
Write On!
Deb
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143
Review of Two Mothers  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E
Pat,
Thank you for sharing this beautiful, touching poem about two mothers.
Its imagery and emotion is heartfelt.
I have no suggestions, but am thankful to have found and read it.

Write On!
Deb
a birthmom
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Review of Angry  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Suteki,
I get it. Thank you for writing and sharing this piece.
Wouldn't it be a beautiful place if there were a sequel: say "Serene"?
For myself, Serenity is difficult to hang onto...
Life seems to be a perpetual Step One.

Write On...
Deb
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145
Review of My New Tenant  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This review is my opinion only as a reader.

*ButterflyG*TITLE: Catches the attention of the reader. Appropriate to the poem
>
> *ButterflyV*IMAGERY: Good. I especially like the line "My eye walks on the lawn looking ..."

> *ButterflyR*EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I enjoyed this piece, brought a joyful anticipation to me as I read it.
>
> *ButterflyB*TONE: Upbeat, excited "spellbound"

> *Pencil*SPELLING/Punctuation ERRORS:previledge = privilege, tit-bits = tidbits, ecentric= eccentric I too like him= I, too, like him
>
> *ButterflyO*FLOW: smooth to my ear.
>
> *ButterflyV*OVERALL: I read this poem with pleasure, was able to picture the elusive, chatty flycatcher entertaining the writer.

Write On!
Deb
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146
Review of Drop Your Fears  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this song very much.
It speaks to my heart: its fears, the hope thay I can hear His call, and Know that I am Not alone.

Thank you for sharing these lyrics.
I don't know how the song would sound, but am blessed, refreshed by the words.

Write On!
Deb
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147
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
4provinces,
Thank you for sharing a beautiful, heartfelt poem of remembrance.
Though this poem did not have an apparent rhyme scheme, It flowed well and conveyed the message intended: Loving thoughts and hopes of reunion.

Write On!
Deb
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148
Review of I Know  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Vincent,
Thank you for shaing this well-written, expressive free form poem.

Personal Impression: I was touched by the feelings evoked in the fourth stanza as the man describes the "honey sweet memories"

Tone & Mood: somber, then reflective, and finally tender
Rhyme, Form & Flow: This free form poem did not depend on rhyme, however the flow was smooth through the focus of each stanza.
Emotional Impact: I was touched by the memories expressed in stanza four in particular.
Grammar/Punctuation: One suggestion noted. Stanza three, I believe it should be sunrises, and sunsets.

Well done!
Write On!
And are you going to post more of your poems?
Looking forward to reading them.
Deb

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Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Annie,
Thank you for sharing this delicious memory.
This piece is descriptive, and easily pictured. You have taken me, the reader, to the basement with you to watch as your brother savored those pretzel rods "swirled" in peanut butter.

I enjoyed reading this short piece very much.

I have two small typo suggestions: in the last line "to" is missing from "went off find my own..."
Second suggestion, not really a typo, more of a clarification. As you started the second paragraph, I was unclear who you were watching. I would suggest that you clarify with "I watched my brother..." or ...I watched, his name, my brother,as I have...

Write On!
Deb
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150
Review of Trust  Open in new Window.
Review by iluvhorses Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Kate,
Thank you for sharing this poem. Too true the cascade from naive, blind trust in all to the narrowed circle of trusting only self.

This poem is vivid with descriptive words I picture the progression: "needed caress", "falling unnoticed". I appreciated the contrasts also : trusting all/deceiving none, suspicion unknown/ until betrayed.

I believe you captured one aspect of this problem of trust in this well-written poem.
Write On!
Deb
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