T.L.Finch,
Thank you for sharing this poem.
The title is very suitable for it, the form of Quatrains works well as the writer travels through the life seasons of the main character.
The imagery was vivid. I especiallly liked the imagery in the third stanza,
"where autumn skies fell gray
and fought the drifts of fallen snow
on a freezing winter's day."
The final stanza is quite moving, and "postscript" is with out a doubt the word to describe it.
Write On!
Deb
Kings,
Thank you for sharing this precious poem, a memorial to your brother. This poem is touching, and well-written.
The rhyme scheme is consistent, and the rhyme is good, though in stanza two the writer used near rhyme, it works well in this poem.
I do suggest that burrial is spelled burial in the brief description of the poem.
I found this poem to be a very moving tribute to your brother.
Write on!
Deb
DISCLAIMER: . I have only my opinion to offer. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings about. If it struck a chord etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the author's work.>
>
> TITLE: Appropriate to the poem
>
> IMAGERY: nice, descriptive, painted a picture of the characters in the poem.
> EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: Light-hearted poem, struck a happy note.
>
> TONE: humorous love poem, cupid's arrow gone astray.
> SPELLING ERRORS: none noted
>
> FLOW: smooth
>
> OVERALL: Pleasant, well-rhymed tale of the Groundhog.
Write On!
DISCLAIMER: This is only my opinion. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings about if it struck a chord, etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the author's work.
>
>
> TITLE: This title is suitable to the poem
>
> IMAGERY: Nice use of imagery. for example: red rose like the sun, fire like the stars...
> EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I related to this poem pleasantly as remembrances of the first intense feelings of love.
>
> TONE: sweet, introspective.
> SPELLING ERRORS/PUNCTUATION: I believe you would benefit from reviewing this piece to add further punctuation. The punctuation used is inconsistent, and some lines would read more smoothly with a comma, or sentence to indicate a pause or end of a thought.
>
> FLOW: Other than the awkwardness of the lack of punctuation, the thoughts flowed well.
>
> OVERALL: This is a nice free verse poem.
Write On!
Deb
I'm not reviewing your letter. Merely commenting that I appreciate the thoughts, and am excited to embark on the journey that is this course!
I could read this and think, "oh,no! I don't know enough about the craft." Instead I will re-read the quote at the end of your letter and "live the questions now."
Lorilee,
I would wish that this was fiction. It is too real and accurate to be imagined. This short piece on reaching out to others and having no return of interest touched my heart. I understand. You conveyed the feeling well, "I couldn't help but start to cry..."
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Write On!
Deb
Disclaimer: This is my opinion. I hope it is helpful to you. Thank you for sharing a part of yourself in this work
Title: Speechless is a very appropriate title for this sonnet.
Form/Style: Sonnet form suits the content, theme well.
Imagery: The imagery in the first stanza particularly is vivid and sets a sense of and endless search.
Flow/Rhythm: Some punctuation would assist the reading in pacing the lines. Without any commas or periods, I found it a little awkward to get a cadence that flowed from line to line.
Rhyme: good
Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation: good
Emotional Chord Struck: This sonnet is poignant. I can sense the frustration and desire to communicate deep "passion" to someone.
Kimona,
This poem was truly a plea to be let go. I hear the encouraging words left behind that are meant to soothe, to comfort from the loss. It is a touching poem full of emotion.
There are two typos that I noticed, however:
Honar should be honor, and surrounded instead of surronded.
This poem is engaging. It brings up in me the feelings of loss, impermance of life, yet clinging of the memories, I hope that as you continue to shape this poem you will be able to allow the flow of feelings to sooth you in your loss.
Write On!
Deb
Paranoia,
I often scan across the titles of new statics, and am sometimes caught by one.
This poem grabbed me with its title which is suitable to the poem
I then was intrigued by the brief description.
I, too, greatly appreciate the work of e e cummings. T
This piece flowed well, when it was meant to.
I liked the stop and think, hesitate, change course cadence it had at times.
My only suggestion, in my opinion, would be to change "do you feel atall" to "do you feel as all"
It may be a typo, or artistic license, but that one part caused me to step out of the poem briefly, mentallly, and was a distraction. To me.
Overall, I enjoyed this piece. Very thoughtful, echoes my ponderings quite often. I hope that I have heard your message.
Write On!
Deb
Prosperous Snow,
this brief free verse poem has an appropriate, and grabbing title. I imagined darkness lying in wait for prey, as well as Darkness Lying to you minds.
The poem captures the mood of depression, in my experience, but the last two lines do uplift, slightly.
I would like more encouragement, but that is my opinion, and perhaps the voice of my darkness needing to be drowned out with more of faith's light.
over all a very good poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Write on!
Deb
wkaufman,
This poem is tough reading on a heavy hearted subject. I so resonate with the subject's despair, but long for a respite for her.
The poem is appropriately titled as the final stanza introduces the familiar. The rhyming pattern was regular but alternating between the stanzas, giving the poem an uneven flow. The unevenness is very appropriate to the state of mind of the main character.
This poem hits the mark, for a sad, dark tale.
write on,
Deb
abcdemily,
This is a sweet, touching love poem to a special friend, a horse.
I, too, love horses! I wrote a short story of flying on my favorite horse, Valentine.
I agree with your thoughts, and am warmed by the affection you expressed in this poem.
I do have a couple spelling suggestions: weather should be whether. in the last line the space between for my (fo rmy) should be changed.
Write On! Keep expressing your thoughts, and passions!
Deb
This poem is a sweet, encouragement to one struggling with depression/anxiety.
The imagery of sunset, and eventually the beauty of the night stars dancing is quite uplifting.
The imagery alone would be cause to pause and smile, but the caring thoughts expressed are a
welcome prayer of love to someone dear.
Thank you for sharing.
I was encouraged by reading this.
I have no suggestions for this free form poem.
Write On!
Deb
ChuChuRocker,
This poem is replete with imagery, I especially liked the descriptions of rain/ storm as horses hooves.
How beautiful to watch and hear the storm with the writer, and see the earth re-awaken after the wild storm passes.
It was a precious interjection that this storm took place as the subject cradled her unborn child. I resonate with that image of protecting our children as they grow within us.
I have no suggestions, this is a powerful, short piece.
Write on!
Deb
Excellent and thought-provoking poem.
Thank you for sharing it.
I am intrigued and challenged by this form of poetry.
I have no suggestions for change...
Deb
George,
This Haiku was very enjoyable to read. It highlights so vividly each season, or creature associated with the season.
I am new to poetry, and was searching for examples of the form. This seems to be very well done.
I like the last words of each stanza, they do achieve the little change of direction that I understand a Haiku should have.
I am inspired to try my hand again at Haiku because of this poem.
Thank you for sharing it.
Write On!
Deb
Straightforward poem, this spoke to me of rising to the challenges of dealing with life, and the people in our lives.
I felt like it was a punch in the arm to stiffen up and keep on keepin' on.
I have two small suggestions: you're should be your in the fourth line, and I believe there should be a period at the end of deceit.
I enjoyed this poem like a cup of hot, strong black coffee before heading off to work in the dark of a cold morning.
Write on!
Deb
This essay is well laid out. It leads the reader to contemplate our influence on each person we meet.
Thank you for sharing this piece.
I see no errors in spelling, and have no suggestions other than:
Write On!
Deb
PJB,
Thank you for sharing this beautiful and moving poem of love and loss and hope.
I am touched by the imagery of sea, and sky. The description of your beautiful queen.
Well used words, and rhymes I enjoyed reading this poem.
I have no suggestions for changes, I don't see any errors.
Write On!
Deb
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