*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/21
Review Requests: ON
2,107 Public Reviews Given
2,110 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 17 18 19 20 -21- 22 23 24 25 26 ... Next
501
501
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Bumblegrum

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Sometimes You Can Go Back

First Impression: We are very capable of saying the stupidest things aren't we? Life has a way of taking people on paths they don't expect and some times we are given second chances.

What needs your attention: This particular sentence I think you forgot the s for she not he. "She became secretive and Jamie knew he was having detailed conversations with Sal"

What part I liked best: Jamie himself, I really enjoyed reading about his life and how it evolved and the circle he made coming back home again, establishing himself in the town he grew up in. Sometimes, we can come home again. I liked that his parents and his sister Mandy did not try to discourage his involvement with Angel.

Overall impression: The story evolved through Jamie's rejection initially from the girl he loved, to his moving away and beginning in a new town, several women later and needing to find a new job after being laid off he came back to where he began. Things in town were different, the girl he loved had drastically changed but he saw past that and wanted to be her friend and help.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Sweet story!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
502
502
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Bumblegrum,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Big Boys Don't Cry

First Impression: I absolutely abhor that statement when people say it, everyone regardless of gender should be encouraged to cry and to show their emotions.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, the story flows very well, I felt like I was inside Jerry's head, feeling what he was denied to feel.

What part I liked best: His comparison to his sister Julie's boyfriend when he left, she got to cry and he wasn't even dead. It's not fair, Jerry's right he should have been able to say goodbye to Rumble, it was wrong of this parents to handle that way.
My cat had got killed a squirrel but she was seriously injured and I didn't find her until she was really bad, cats hid when they are hurt. I took her to the vet, he couldn't save her. I brought her home to bury her but found I could not put her in the ground. She had been with me 17 years faithfully. My son buried her for me, I cried and cried.

Overall impression: A familiar look at childhood and one of the dilemmas of having a family pet. The sad part is boys are still encouraged to not show emotion, big boys don't cry. Everyone, male or female should never be denied the right to mourn their pets lost with tears.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I truly hate how quickly people replace pets instantly like the other one wasn't a part of the family.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
503
503
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Bumblegrum

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Send Not To Know For Whom The Bell Knows

First Impression: You have a knack for poetry, this is really good. I am surprised it is not sporting an awardicon it should be.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the rhythm and rhyme are excellent, the flow is smooth when read out loud.

What part I liked best: My failing heart and stubborn mind that could be anyone of us at any point in our life. Unfortunately, we are guilty of looking for silver linings when it is too late. During the time we should have focused on our health, our families and friends we to often get carried away with material things that in the end don't matter.

Overall impression: I could feel time ticking away as I approached each stanza, I really didn't want to go forward but the image of a clock ticking in my mind kept me going with the momentum of the poem until the very end and the dawning realization its over. This poem rocks, what a great reminder about living in the moment and not letting that clock rule your life.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I am really enjoying my visit in your port!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
504
504
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Bumblegrum

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Legend of Petros and Hirana

First Impression:You are a masterful story teller sir, I enjoyed this legend or myth immensely. You have a knack for weaving details so intricately the reader feels caught in the web of magic.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I noticed but then I was pretty distracted reading, I couldn't wait to see if Petros rescued Hirana.

What part I liked best: The riddle challenges at the Oracle of Calabus. Those were really cool riddles. I felt so sad for Petros when Xoros demanded a sacrifice and he cut off his finger with out hesitation so he could continue his quest. Then at the end to discover that Xoros was actually her father and he still insisted on a sacrifice. The father should have aided him the whole journey to rescue his daughter. I know you had your reasons for him being that way. I was glad he did not hesitate in giving up his mortal life to be with Hirana.

Overall impression: Great job! This story moved smoothly from the beginning to the sad middle where we saw Petros overcome each quest set before him to reach his love in the climatic ending where he discovers she is not mortal.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
505
505
Review of The Miracle  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Miracle

First Impression: I vaguely remember this story, there was a lot happening in my personal life. That time was when I finally escaped and began living single.

What needs your attention: Nothing I think the alphabet form enhances this story in poetic form about two young men so close to their homes but held captive in a nightmare situation.

What part I liked best: The imagery the author chose to enhance this shocking tale of a young man's suffering at the hands of an adult man. I felt my heart racing with the sounds of the sirens and the door bursting open. I cannot begin to imagine the horrors the young man has had to come to terms with as he begins life again free.

Overall impression: This tribute to Shawn and Ben is a powerful message about the exploitation of children. We need to find a way to end this abusive cruelty so our children are safe. The only way is to speak out, silence enables.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I am very proud of you for addressing such a difficult topic
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
506
506
Review of The Caged Bird  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Caged Bird

First Impression: Another entry that would fit very well in the contest raising awareness about abuse. I found it interesting you chose to begin each line in sequence with the alphabet.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this style evokes vivid images for this reader, it flows very well read out loud. IN case you haven't noticed I do read all poetry out loud because I tend not to fill in missing words or pauses like I do when I read to myself.

What part I liked best: The emptiness of her existence compared to the cheerfulness of her neighbors and the desire to close the curtains so the pretense is easier. Women should never know this kind of volatile existence but they do and live in shame because they are afraid to say what really happens behind closed doors. Yeah, I know first hand I went from my abusive father to an abusive husband, thinking I had escaped only to find out I traded one evil for another. I was too young and naïve at the time, I married at sixteen.

Overall impression: The use of the alphabet holds the poem in a specific pattern while inviting the reader into a young woman's nightmare existence with a brutal sadistic man.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Silence Enables!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
507
507
Review of Maiden's Cry  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Maiden's Cry

First Impression: My stomach recoiled and knotted, it was like you read my ten year old mind. It didn't matter how much I cried, it didn't stop.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the way this poem reads is perfect, I would not change a thing.

What part I liked best: Screams, of terrors unseen, a child should never know this kind of fear from her father. My father believed he was entitled I was his property and he could do whatever he wanted with me. My mother did nothing, once I told her except crawl into a bottle. Father's day is a difficult day for me when I see all the messages celebrating their fathers, I feel so alone, I envy them too!

Overall impression: Incest exists, people can't keep ignoring this form of abuse happens a lot in our society. Sadly the victims feel so much shame they don't talk about it with anyone, they carry the secret afraid and alone.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? You should enter this next time in Love Shouldn't Hurt Poetry contest, it will be open to old and new pieces in September.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
508
508
Review of Adversity  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Adversity

First Impression: I totally get this poem, I dated a black young man in the early 70's. Our culture was not ready for interracial relationships. Unfortunately, even today there are still areas that make mixed relationships a challenge.

What needs your attention: Nothing this is an interesting form, I've not seen this one before either. I am learning so much reviewing your port this weekend.

What part I liked best: Eventual bliss will come our way, I pray that racial barriers will end. But after the shooting of the nine people in the church this weekend, I am not convinced that it will be soon. Humanity has not evolved as much as technology sadly, and it has opened doors to more violence than before the computer age.

Overall impression: The poem gives you a brief glimpse of a taboo relationship in each stanza that together creates a story about the difficulties of being different skin colors in our society.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Powerful reminder, the times need to change.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
509
509
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: One Night in Vegas

First Impression: I laughed as I read, this one really amused me immensely. I've been to Vegas a few times, there are lots of strange things that do happen in a city that never sleeps.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the free verse works very well, and the stanzas definitely help keep the story flowing from scene to scene.

What part I liked best: When she discovered the ring on her finger, that made me laugh out loud and then her trying to remember a wedding, her family or even a cake. Feisty young woman charges up the stairs demanding answers about the night before. I found it added to the story
when the author added the mans amusement to make the confusion even more hilarious.
Overall impression: I thought the whole story was great done in poetic form, with the stanzas giving the reader time to chuckle, before going on to the ending with the moral of the story about being single and come morning everything could easily change.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Fun poem to read and review!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
510
510
Review of My Baby  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: My Baby

First Impression: I want to say congratulations for being published, that is awesome!

What needs your attention: Nothing, the poem flows very smoothly in this free style form. The poem reads very smoothly out loud.

What part I liked best: I think the opening line entices the reader with the word desire setting the stage for an intimate conversation with the author. Each line from the beginning assures the reader that the author really gets how powerful love can feel as it intensifies in a relationship. Especially this line for forever intoxicating, never yearning to be sober. The images that come to mind sweep you into the arms of your loved one and the knowledge of fulfillment.

Overall impression: Great tribute to love and how relationships evolve over time. I think the author created a very intimate vision of love for the readers to consider with great word choices to enhance the imagery.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Kiya is a talented writer and artist.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
511
511
Review of Seize the Day  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Seize the Day

First Impression: Thank you for placing the link so I could see exactly how the format is supposed to be. This is the first time I have this style.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I read the explanation by Shaara and to me I think you have met the requirements. I was surprised it asked for words and not syllables.

What part I liked best: The opening line describes the typical morning for me as well. My mind feels like it never rests anymore when I do go to bed. Yes, if we are awake I agree we should seize the day and not let it slip away. Guarding our spirit is a wise thing to me, I think it adds to the imagery of survival mode before one reaches reality. Reality leaves a lot to be desired, doesn't it.

Overall impression: The poem is seven lines discussing the challenges of waking in the morning with a weary mind and an over active mind and getting ready for the day when reality is not that appealing.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Boonstra Brain Function, I learned another form, today reviewing.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
512
512
Review of Gray Rain  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Kiya

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Gray Rain

First Impression: Different use of the alphabet beginning with the letter P I never thought about entering poetry in a sci-fi contest, I'll keep that in mind.

What needs your attention: There are sixteen lines as noted from P back to A in any style as stated. I see nothing that needs changes.

What part I liked best: Experts making their predictions before the masses panic with their own conclusions. I visualized total chaos in my mind as I read that, I never feel safe when the alleged experts make their opinions known. I thought painters rage was a great image to begin the closing stanza with, it gave a forceful feeling of uneasiness that led perfectly into the doomsday morn and a silent planet when the aliens appear.

Overall impression: Creative imagery and strong word choices invited the reader along for journey in to the unknown ending of earth as the reader knows it. Each stanza added to the next creating a smooth flowing poem using the letters p-a to begin each line.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
513
513
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Fyn, this is my last review for today.

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: I Was a Rotten Kid!

First Impression: I read your list and I didn't see it that way at all. A bit on the wild side and quite headstrong is more like it. That same determination shows through in your writing.

What needs your attention: Nothing the list works in this case, from what the genre says it was a contest entry for Listography.

What part I liked best: You put ants in your brothers bed, I did it to my sister's sleeping bag with a candy bar. She always ratted me out when I would sneak out with my friends. I burst right out laughing about the Playboy magazines because every summer we would stay at my grandfathers in Vermont and he would hang all the centerfolds on his walls. He was single and lived alone except for when my mother dumped us on him in the summer. The year I turned 13, it bugged me to see all the naked women, so I used crayons and created clothes for every one. He was furious that I covered his nude women.

Overall impression: Sounds to me like you had some amazing experiences as a child. Look at all the great writing material you have written since those days! I am told the best stories are the ones we lived.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn
514
514
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Fyn,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Losers-A Dialog

First Impression: Sounds just the typical family alright, yes I would think it would be hard to win a lottery and then worry about what expectations the family might have. Everyone would have their 2 cents worth and then some. *Facepalm*

What needs your attention: Nothing, the dialogue in the story works very well. Did you misspell Dialog in the title or is there an alternative spelling.

What part I liked best: The mother immediately assuming they will buy a new car, then the father thinking about how much money they will save once they don't have to buy diapers, formula or make electrical or car payments. I fell into that trap myself with my oldest son and his first wife, then to find out that she was going for manicures, and out drinking with her friends. I've never forgot how she made us feel.

Overall impression: Interesting read, the dialogue was very convincing and realistic. I felt like I was mouse in the wall eavesdropping on a conversation I shouldn't hear.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I can't help but wonder how the phone call went.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
515
515
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Fyn

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Iron Mine

First Impression: Does she live in New Jersey still? The story told by journal entries is really enjoyable to read. Wow, its off 287 off the New York border, that's north of where I live. I looked at the satellite map what a lovely area.

What needs your attention: Nothing, entries make you feel like you are right there as it happens.

What part I liked best: I found it really interesting that you used a bone for a splint, that was pretty awesome and creepy at the same time. You and Gary were so lucky you were not hurt more. What an awesome adventure and to receive recognition for the discovery. I felt so sad for the men that died that way in the mine.

Overall impression: Fascinating read about historical information from Revolutionary times, I love learning about our history. That was neat to learn what the mine was used for and how what was mined benefitted our country.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my Immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? What a great experience, thank you for sharing with us!
Lyn
516
516
Review of Lilac Time  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 6 of week June 18th-24th

Hi Fyn

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and "Game of Thrones" .



Title: Lilac Time

First Impression: I smiled to see the poem in a lovely purple shade centered on the page. I would be tempted to add a cover of lilacs.

What I liked: Lilacs hanging like bunches of grapes, made me think of my childhood yard. We had lilac bushes a long the edge of our house, when the windows were open they filled the rooms with intoxicating aromas.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the images and word choices in this 10 syllable structured poem flows very smoothly when read out loud.

Favorite Parts:The elderly couple resting together on the bench enjoying the heady aroma from the lilacs, conversation is not necessary, the simple gesture says so much more.

Overall Impression: This poem invited the reader to linger and enjoy the lilacs with the elderly couple. The image of the wizened branches said the garden is not new along the garden paths. I have the feeling this is something they created together. Thank you for reminding me how special sitting together in a beloved garden together can be.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my Immense pleasure!
Lyn

What does the fox say? Awesome!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
517
517
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 4 of week June 18-24th

Hi

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and "Game of Thrones" .


House Florent Image for G.o.T.

Title: When the Mountain Sings

First Impression: The repetition stanzas made me wonder if you had intended to make this a song. It certainly added to the other stanzas making their content stand out more!

What I liked: Harmonies passing down through the generations, I am particularly fond of traditions, I enjoy reading about them a lot.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the poem reads very smoothly out loud and reminds the reader of days past.

Favorite Parts: Ballads sang with banjoes played, those indeed were great times in our history. Families were more connected together than they are now and appeared to appreciate the time together. They shared the tales of suffering with their young hoping to make a difference and build strong connections with their neighbors.

Overall Impression: I loved the way the story unfolded like a ballad of the old days about families bonding and creating memories for the future generations by the tales of the past are sung. My own experience with ballads like this poem were at family gathering after an Irish funeral. I was quite surprised to see the dancing and the songs, they celebrated his life instead of mourning his loss.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn
What does the fox say? It's been mighty interesting visiting 2011 in your port.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
518
518
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Fyn

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Following Footsteps

First Impression: Wow, those are awesome memories to have shared with your father. I have similar memories with my children and yes, I could have easily done the task myself, it was more fun to do it together.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this poem rocks with its own rhythm and is easy to read out loud.

What part I liked best: The little notes found for you to discover along the journey, your Dad really loved spending time with you, it shows. He made the journey an adventure for you both. What a great way to spend time together seeing the creatures of the wild, fresh fallen snow and the hidden surprises.

Overall impression: A cherished memory shared with the reader in three stanzas that develop the story creatively. The word choices and images shared enhance the poem encouraging the reader to linger with her thoughts while enjoying the authors thoughts.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you for sharing this precious memory with us.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
519
519
Review of Today, I Will  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Today, I Will

First Impression: The author boldly declared her intentions to the reader, and the reader kept going to see where the author was leading her in this unusual poetic twist. I loved the image of washing my hands in words. That rocks for an opening line.

What needs your attention: Nothing, clearly the free style, non rhyming form the author chose works very well.

What part I liked best: The author's choice of colors that she feels will create a new hue that evokes that place only writers can pass. I want in, I want into that secret place for writers where they can dance, swirl and twirl where ever their muse takes them. I love the imagery created as I read along.

Overall impression: Creative imagery, inspirational word choices that invited these reader and fellow writer to continue reading and want to join in with the adventure. I loved the ending with its positive affirmation that the author exists and her name is floating in the wind.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hi again! I was here just the other day too!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
520
520
Review of Floating  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number # 2 of week June 18th-24th

Hi Smee, How's your anniversary so far?

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and "Game of Thrones"  .

House Florent Image for G.o.T.

Title: Floating

First Impression: I've been tempted more than once to toss a bottle with a note but then I consider all the trash already in the ocean and it breaks my heart. I have to start trying these contest entries, I've read a few now in the Games, every topic encouraged such great reads.

What I liked: The bottle's thoughts along the journey were amusing to read. I chuckled when I read all of us like to do what we are good at, yes it is so easy to stay within our comfort zone. It was fun to travel with the bottle out of his comfort zone and to reach a new destination.

What needs your attention: After the paragraph Why do I float and before I don't know why I float you have a t sitting all by itself.

Favorite Parts: The adventure with the bird and how it felt dangling by the orange feet and the feeling of helplessness when the bottle fell. What an exhilarating feeling to free fall, the details were great.

Overall Impression: Creative and enjoyable read from the beginning to the environmental happy ending. You are a excellent story teller, I am impressed with the entries I chose.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!

What does the fox say? Great story, Smee!
Lyn


Image #1466395 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
521
521
Review of Happiness  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review number # 1 of week June 18th-24th

House Florent Image for G.o.T.

Hi Smee

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and the "Game of Thrones" .

Title: Happiness

First Impression: Wow, initially, I thought I was reading a typical feel good story until I got to the end, I didn't see the cliffhanger coming. I became choked up.

What I liked: The beginning luring the reader with images of a new man driving at break neck speed down the highway. It satisfied this reader's adrenaline junkie rush. I loved driving myself that way.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I enjoyed it immensely as it is. I noted at the conclusion you have already done edits.

Favorite Parts: The paragraph before the ending about the memories sounding complete, I found myself wondering why she didn't know his hair color or what she was wearing or even the weather. If the date was so hot why are those details foggy? But then I got to the next sentence and it all made sense. I paused there and went back to re-read the previous paragraphs to feel her memories again.

Overall Impression: This short story offers the reader an interesting ride in a car with a couple that changes their life forever, the memories that linger after that day are random vivid details that were left while others were stolen the moment the other car struck.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my Immense pleasure!

What does this fox say? Very moving short story!
Lyn


Image #1466395 over display limit. -?-


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
522
522
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Ken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Miracle Bard of Triem

First Impression: Interesting story of a young boy with a lovely voice that discovers he has the power to do more than make people smile with his lyrical voice.

What needs your attention: I believe you forgot the k in knew in this sentence. "That Gillian new my thoughts caught me by surprise"

What part I liked best: The affection shown Marsden was shown by his mother. I can't say I was happy with Lady Victoria's attitude about taking what she wanted. The young boy should have not been separated from his Mother. She could have easily relocated them both to her castle instead of separating them. Plus it saddened me the tone of her voice with Gillian when she came to her about her fawn Goldie.

Overall impression: The story had an inviting beginning, a sad middle for me but once Marsden went with Gillian the pace of the story picked up and everything flowed quickly to the happy conclusion. Yes, I am guilty of liking happy ever afters.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Oops, I read them in the wrong order but now I am on track. *Facepalm*
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
523
523
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Ken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes from House Florent

Title: The Rescue of Gillian Willasiri,

First Impression: My curiosity was peaked when I saw it was a story about fairies, I do enjoy reading them. I enjoyed the image of long purplish black hair cascading like a stole across her shoulders. That image was delightful to this reader. On more than once occasion in my life, I died my hair the color of eggplant, I loved how the sun teased the shades of plum from my strands.

What needs your attention:Nothing, the story flows smoothly, enticing the reader to keep going with each little detail disclosed at just the right moment.

What part I liked best: Marsden love for Gillian allowing him to know the difference in her demeanor in the Ice Forest. I didn't realize the Ogres trickery until the end, that was a surprise. I didn't suspect she was a fake, when he used the power of the crystals to create the summer forest and hindered the ogres in their winter attire until the real Gillian appeared.

Overall impression: Inviting beginning that drew this reader into the story, rising momentum in the middle with a hint of more than just Queen and wizard working together for a common goal. The wizard given the opportunity to rescue his love with an appealing ending all's right again in the world of the fairies.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Enjoyable read!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
524
524
Review of Heart Song  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Ken,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Heart Song

First Impression: Fyn was right, you are the master of the sonnets, I keep trying someday I want to grow up to be you.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the rhyme and rhythm of the poem are exceptional. It flows smoothly when read out loud without feeling forced in this structured poem.

What part I liked best: Melodic words dancing upon the page, you have definitely gifted with that ability. I am in awe every time I read your masterpieces. This particular piece invites the reader to linger on each line, embrace the images of music of the song written with a loving heart. Closing my eyes with the author, listening for the joyful song that only lovers know.

Overall impression: The sonnet works perfectly in this work with excellent word choices that create powerful imagery for the reader. I am glad I lingered to experience this more than once. It is as Fyn noted in the newsletter a masterpiece. You are very talented with sonnets.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Ken, writes sonnets like no other, I want to be him when I grow up!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
525
525
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Graham

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Leave Me a Picture

First Impression: I was saddened with the lonely voice, wanting more than a fading glimpse of the woman with the auburn hair.

What needs your attention: Nothing the free verse works very well here and it flows smoothly when read out loud.

What part I liked best: The images planted in this readers minds of gardenias, the fog, and the mockingbird invited her to linger before moving on to the next line. I found myself thinking how short life is as I read the shutter click, our memories are filled with those brief images over time some filled with joy and some with immense pain. I felt the anguish of him lingering in the past with the woman he loved.

Overall impression: An emotional recollection of memories shared in free style of a love for a woman, that haunts him and holds him frozen in the past without her. He can't continue this way but he can't move forward either. The imagery was lovely, the verse was compelling to read and the reader felt the anguish of the poem's voice sadly too. Thank you for sharing an intimate love story. There is nothing greater than to love and be loved.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my Immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? fyn chose to highlight your poem and I am blessed to have read it.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
822 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 33 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/21