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526
526
Review of October, 2013  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Mark,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Oct. 2013

First Impression: The concept of living within our means struck a chord with me. I see so many young people with the sporty cars, the tattoos and whatever trend flashes at the moment.

What needs your attention:Nothing, your opinion is simply that expressed in this article.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when I came to the line hemorrhaging funs through multiple layers. It appalls me when I receive all these requests in the mail to support this campaign or another and then I look up online to see what their CEO is being paid. Not on my dime, sorry I am not going to support causes that pay ridiculous salaries instead of helping the people who really are in need. I understand people need or better said want compensation for their services but seriously many of them are ludicrous. They should be ashamed of even receiving a third. Our country has encouraged robbery on every level in society and the poor pay dearly for not having the means to steal themselves.
Politicians should never be hold office for more than 2 terms and should be made accountable for their broken promises to the people.


Overall impression: I agree with most of your observations about government needing a swift kick in the ass reminding them they serve the people not their wallets. Future generations need to be less dependent on technology and use their own brains more to plan for the future. Short terms goals never fix they only sustain the problem.
Interesting read!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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527
527
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Mark,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Rethinking Technology

First Impression: Like you I am reluctant to put my eggs into one basket, I don't feel the need to jump onto the technology bandwagon. My husband wanted to buy me a bread maker so it would be easier. I gave him one of those stare down moments, he hasn't suggested it again.

What needs your attention: Nothing, your opinion is well thought out and explained clearly in this article.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when I read your opinion about twitter allowing unfiltered commentary. I shake my head quite often when you hear this celeb twitted this and another did this. I realize technology has benefits but it also has many negatives as well. It opens the door to every stupid comment, every copycat committing the newest item we just to have. And it also provides way too much information to individuals that want to use it in a harmful manner as well.

Overall impression: Each of us have opinions and this is just an example of yours about technology, pros and cons. Like you, I will keep my cast iron cookware, my stoneware and old fashion connect to the wall telephone that works when the power is out. Nor do I feel the need to have a phone tracking me with a gps either.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Stubbornly, hanging onto the things she is familiar with, if they work I'm not changing.
Lyn


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528
528
Review of The Inner Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Mark,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Inner Me

First Impression: This is the most powerful piece I have read in your port thus far. My grandson CJ has Asperger's, at least that is the label the doctor gave him. Your discussion of the changes in your life are similar to his in some cases and different in others, which I am told is what makes Asperger's so challenging.

What needs your attention: Nothing, you are very articulate and have done an excellent job discussing the reality of your life and what you do to cope.

What part I liked best: The genuine frankness as I read, you did not try to paint a pretty picture, you chose to simply share your own personal experiences for us to read. My grandson differed in the fact that he was non-verbal until he was 4 years old, his social interactions were very challenging to him. He still has difficulty in social situations but excels in math and science. He thrives on learning the answer, he will do something over and over to he has satisfactorily resolved in his mind what happens.

Overall impression: I am glad that you and your wife have a system that works well for you. Life is about adapting to the best of our ability, reading this indicates to me that you did and are making what you have work for you. I wish you much success!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? This is ally raid 3 with House Hightower of Turtle.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
529
529
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Mark,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Awaken the Bull Moose,

First Impression: Initially, after reading your bio about you living in Northern Maine, I thought wow, a moose story then I read the explanation with the title and thought maybe the author will turn a herd of moose loose when Congress is in session. I know wishful thinking but something needs to wake them up to reality.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the article discussing the political issues that were an issue in 1912 are worse and could use the same adrenaline rush that took place during the Roosevelt- Taft era.

What part I liked best: The explanation of the Bull Moose's purpose and how it would benefit today's society equally as well because the stronghold businesses have on our government have crippled our country as a whole. Corruption and greed run rampant in today's political arena and the voice of the people is not a priority. The color of money is.
Roosevelt would be appalled at how many changes have been made to fulfill business needs even to the point of placing HB workers first before American workers because of the profit margin. Look at how many things have changed just in our local governments, they don't say the Pledge of Allegiance because it may offend someone, the list of school functions changed to cover different nationalities and not offend anyone. Roosevelt firmly believed if you wanted to live and work on US soil than you became an American and lived by our customs. He would be in an uproar to see how many rules have been changed to allow religious issues to exist in place.
Yes, I do think we need another individual like Roosevelt to come in and clean house. First of all eliminating all corporate connections with our government and no more money crossing hands. Period.

Overall impression: This is an excellent discussion on what is needed to bring our country back on track unfortunately corruption is difficult to battle. I am not sure we can turn this political mess we have around.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? I'm from Madison, Maine. Where are you located in Maine?
Lyn


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530
530
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Turtle

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Introduction to From the Ground Up

First Impression: I am going to check this out, as usual I started backwards. I've read a lot of poetry, and I spend a lot of time practicing different styles but mine lack what I feel lack the sparkle.

What needs your attention: Nothing, you have written an excellent introduction to what the course offers and how a student will benefit from taking the course.

What part I liked best: I love to garden so using the simile for me worked perfectly because I could easily relate to the essential prep work and totally got what you were proposing and how it would make a huge difference. I know what gardens that have not been prepared look like all to well and I know how much time I have spent in mine. It never crossed my mind that poetry writing could be the same.

Overall impression: The suggestions were valid and reminded me how I always do things the hard way myself. After the games, I will check this out. I truly want to improve my poetry writing skills and hopefully have them flourish as well as my garden.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? This sounds really awesome Turtle!
Lyn


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531
531
Review of When I am no more  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Keeper of the Realm aka Gaby,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: When I am no more

First Impression: I hope that we do not know the answer to your question for a very long time. Personally, I am hoping I have 50 more years before I know the answers myself.

What needs your attention: I might consider changing this to wander instead of wonder Or shall I wonder on my own
2012, and you haven't changed it from rough draft ????? I thought I was bad about editing things.

What part I liked best: I chuckled when you went in one stanza wandering with your guardian angel to playing cards with the devil. Talk about going from one extreme to another in a short space. *Bigsmile*

Overall impression: All of us contemplate what happens next at some point in our lives, this poem offers an opportunity to do with a good friend. The flow of the poem moves smoothly from stanza to stanza, line to line. It leads the reader to contemplate the questions herself. Rhyming is not necessary, the words chosen

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Groan, moan, another review for Game of Thrones *Check3* oh when oh when will I be done. *Facepalm*
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
532
532
for entry "Trees Stand Watch " Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Carly,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Trees Stand Watch

First Impression: I felt like I was invited to stand in a wooded grove to watch the storm unfold with the trees. Awesome imagery from beginning to end, Carly!

What needs your attention: Nothing, you rocked this prompt with a perfect poem. I hope you don't leave this hidden in your blog, it should be highlighted as a static item.

What part I liked best: Darkness gathers as the thunder rumbles, I love how the air feels when a storm is brewing. The leaves rustling daring me to stay with them and feel the burst of water that soon will fall. Awesome images for this reader, I am smiling ear to ear as I read. I never thought about how great a shower must feel to a tree, I know how I love the feel when I am in the shower.

Overall impression: The poem invites the reader to experience a storm with the dirt covered trees who are longing for the rinse of rain to refresh themselves. Rhyming is not necessary, the poem has a natural rhythm inspiring the reader to keep going line to line. Great job, Carly with the prompt creating this delightful poem.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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533
533
Review of The Terrible Gift  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Leah,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Terrible Gift

First Impression: I can totally relate, I have the BRCA 1 genetic factor, I inherited from my grandmother as well. I had breast cancer in 2005, it was my third round of cancer. Initially, I had cervical cancer in 1980 stage 4 but I was pregnant with my daughter. I would not abort so I carried her to term but the cancer spread to my uterus. They did a radical hysterectomy after she was born and chemo. It was 20 years later when they discovered I have esophageal which they treated with radiation, unfortunately the radiation stimulated the growth in my breast which had not been detected yet. I am on the cancer preventive plan now.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this poem rocks!

What part I liked best:How the poem addressed our emotions when we find out the news, you did an excellent job of realistically painting the picture. It is so hard dealing with everything involved, getting the best medical care, worrying how you are going to cover the expense that insurance does not. It is a crazy roller-coaster that we don't want to ride at all.

Overall impression: Excellent work. Thank you for writing such a powerful poem on a topic that is dear to all women especially this woman.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Thank you Leah!
Lyn


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534
534
Review of The Question  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Rhyanna

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title:The Question

First Impression: Another delightful story unfolded before the readers eyes with delightful imagery.

What needs your attention:It appears you have duplicated the word for, ending it one the first line and beginning with it on the very next.
encountered in his presence she prayed for
for thanks. He knew of the world, he knew of

What part I liked best: The fragileness of new love is always a joy to remember to this reader. The story unfolds under moonlight with the two young lovers sharing a magical moment with sweet caresses and kisses. I remember praying for a relationship not to end back in my youth. Spell binding beautiful like a glorious sunrise jumped right out at me and I had to linger briefly because that is my favorite time of day.

Overall impression:The imagery is compelling, the word choices the author chose weave a lovely tale that flows smoothly from beginning to end.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
535
535
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Elaine,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: A place for just about everything.

First Impression: I had to see the response to this after seeing the title. I loved seeing ayup, man it's been too long since I've heard that. My grandfather said it all the time, he's been gone since 1980. Being a grandparent is truly the best gift ever in life, as I am sure you know.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, the story unfolds like a good conversation with a grandchild but in poetic prose.

What part I liked best: A woman's place, amen! Times have changed in our lives so much. From being just in the home, to soaring to the moon and beyond. The doors are open to so many possibilities now, far beyond our youth. If I was writing this now, I would add toss the boyfriend or husband who does not support your dreams to the curb.
In my mind, I remember talking with my grandmother in the kitchen while taking care of dishes, we talked about everything under the sun it seemed until the day I tried to tell her about my father (her son) she would not believe me, and the sweet bond we had ended. I miss those days when innocence prevailed.

Overall impression: A joyful moment that every grandparent can truly appreciate. The story flows delightfully, rhyme is not necessary, the rhythm carries it along very well. I was surprised, I had no idea you have been on WDC 11 years until today. Congratulations, Elaine.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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536
536
Review of The Picture  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Elaine,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: The Picture

First Impression: Artists of all kinds sometimes forget to simply be in the moment. I know that I am guilty of that with my camera in hand, I am so busy snapping pictures that I miss the other contributions to the scene like the birds chirping, or the little animal who stole a glimpse of me. Sometimes I am lucky and I've captured them on my lens.

What needs your attention: Not a thing, the poet accomplish a portrait for the reader to enjoy.

What part I liked best: The spring exploding in green everywhere, that is my favorite season watching everything come alive after the dreary brown stains of winter. It does seem like the crows are louder in the spring than any other season to me as well.

Overall impression: Yes, the author is right some pictures don't need paper to be expressed just someone there to enjoy them at their peak. I had not seen this style of poem before, looks like you mastered it well, the combination is right on. I'll have to try this one myself, I am always open to new styles.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my Immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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537
537
Review of How now brown cow  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Elaine

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes from House Florent.

Title: How now brown cow

First Impression: I saw the title, I just had to see how you responded to the prompt. I chuckled as I read, very amusing discussion indeed with the brown cow. I haven't heard cow patty in so many years, not since I left Maine. People here in this area wouldn't know what one was unless they had a mouthful. *Facepalm* Come to think of it, I can think of a few that always have a cow patty dripping from their mouth.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the rhyming is right on, the rhythm is smooth and the images are hilarious.

What part I liked best: The cow chewing her cud, I have watched cows in the field before, they chew and they chew occasionally swatting a fly with their tail without a care in the world. Sometimes you see drool fall out of their lips but the one thing that stands out is the noise. I used to tell my kids to stop chewing their gum like a cow does its cud.

Overall impression: I enjoyed reading this amusing poem about the man with sweat on his brow having a discussion with the brown cow.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? MOO MOO!
Lyn


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538
538
Review of Free Association  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Rhyanna,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing an Ally Raid with House Hightower.

Title:Free Association


First Impression: Letting one's mind go seems to work very productively for you unlike me. I find myself staring at an empty page or maybe just a couple of words that I scribble out.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the author's intent was to free associate, letting her mind take her where ever and that has been accomplished.

What part I liked best: Elegantly my mind drifts, I envy you. There is nothing elegant about the musings of my mind. I sense there is a lot of agitation once you go deeper into your trains of thought that were once obscure, maybe even painful. The knife leads me to believe there is hostility. Yes, those lingering thoughts do tend to cast shadows with our fragile perception of what is essential in life. Each of us varies on what is necessary for quality of life and how we address it with so much opposition.

Overall impression: I feel the author is battling with life issues and is trying to find her way on the page by associating different thoughts looking for an answer. I hope the answer appeared because it is not indicated as resolved in this writing.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Life is too Short to Sweat the Small Stuff!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
539
539
Review of Perpetual Hell  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Rhyanna,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing an Ally Review

Title: Perpetual Hell

First Impression: Wow, that title leaves nothing to my imagination, made me wonder if I wanted to venture in and read more.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it is direct and to the point.

What part I liked best: A benign touch brings anguish, sadly it does. My father-in-law has Alzheimer's and the fear that comes on his face when I touch his arm or hand is so emotionally disturbing to me, I am not used to anyone fearing my touch. I cannot imagine being trapped inside one's body with no memories of the ones you love.

Overall impression: This brief message reminds the reader of how devastating dementia and Alzheimer's is to our loved ones. There does not appear to be a way to prevent it from happening. What a horrible ending to one's life. It would be so much easier if we had choices available to avoid supporting nursing home CEO'S while our loved one's life savings dwindle away

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
540
540
Review of Silence  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Rhyanna,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title:Silence

First Impression: I was curious what free association meant and how you would take it. Interesting flow in the paragraphs from the beginning to the end.

What needs your attention: Nothing I could see, it was quite interesting to read.

What part I liked best: I am wondering what barriers served once as a brace, There is so much left unsaid, the reader can speculate many things while she ventures with the authors thoughts. Wow, that is a powerful image a slow drip of satisfaction, I like what mind creates before I discover the scattered thoughts lying like dust. Great word choices here.
All of us falter in this crazy world and hope we can hang on to the shreds of our sanity, you did an excellent job of allowing me to merge successfully with you.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the selection of words that created this virtual journey with the author overcoming an obstacle that steals her tranquilty but is able to hold on barely.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
541
541
Review of Nature's Grace  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes completing my group raid for today.

Title: Nature's Grace

First Impression: Amen! Only God could truly create the beauty that we se when watching the hummingbird tickle the nectar of a rose.

What needs your attention: Nothing.

What part I liked best: First of all the visual structure on the page reminds me of a lantern like we did in another poem a while back. I agree man could never capture the magnificent power hummingbirds have in flight, a blink and you have missed them completely. They are joy to behold for that brief moment in time that we are given to enjoy. Nature shares with us daily such delightful and stimulating views that simple words could never embrace regardless of the artist's talent. We can only strive to influence the reader to imagine beyond the page.

Overall impression: The flow of the poem carries the reader into the garden with the hummingbird and the rose inviting her mind to see one of God's creations doing what comes naturally. This reader feels immensely blessed to know what joy there is in seeing this in person as well.
Thank you for reminding me again who the most creative artist is in our existence, I am humbled in God's eye.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
542
542
Review of Metamorphosis  Open in new Window.
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing another group raid on your port.

Title: Metamorphosis

First Impression:The butterfly caught my attention when scrolling through your work. I love butterflies so I wandered into see what masterpiece you created.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this meets the criteria according to shadow poetry, I went and looked. I couldn't help myself my overactive sponge was beckoning me to see more.

What part I liked best:{/size
The powerful visual image that initially comes in the readers mind as she sees the woman in the image and reads. I couldn't help myself I sighed too, thinking of how good it does feel to lose one's clothes shedding the day away. There is nothing more delightful to this reader than to feel the warmth of the sun as the author also noted. The rhythm and the rhyme of the poem work very smoothly together creating a luxurious feel like the first step into bubble bath.

Overall impression: I am so impressed with your work, I know I keep telling you how talented you are. I truly hope you send this one out for publication, it is a magnificent work of art.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Dave is a poet, I hope he knows it.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
543
543
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing a Group Raid on your port.

Title: The Art of Reviewing Poetry

First Impression: Wow, this helps me a lot in reviewing, I find doing poetry challenging but I love reading it so I do the best I can.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the advice is solid, well defined and organized.

What part I liked best: The specific points that I can comment on when reading another's work in addition to improving my own work. I see you are a fan of Poe as well. Poe was the master of imagery in my opinion. What a great simile with the cook, I could connect perfectly with the cooking.
I agree with your point on writing metrical is difficult and requires a helluva lot of practice. That is one reason why I love seeing the examples of structured pieces you provide in the Poet's Patio, I don't know if I have told you how much I appreciate the guidance.
I've read some poems that I do feel are chopped up composition and have avoided reviewing them because I don't want to put down what I really think. If you can't say something nice, say nothing it is safer unless you feel comfortable with the person.

Overall impression: You have added immensely to my thirst for knowledge in reviewing and writing with this helpful document. I will be referring to it on a regular basis I assure you.
This piece evoked excitement in this reader.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hi Teacher, the student is here absorbing so more!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
544
544
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window.

Hi Dave

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Melody of the Broken Hearted

First Impression:Initially, I thought I was reading to poems on one page but as I read it the second time it dawned on me the poet was singing his own somebody song about heartache. Cool!

What needs your attention: Nothing, you are a very talented author/poet. I feel humbled to read your work in comparison to my own.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the whole poem immensely. The parts that appealed to me were the reference to history and mystery, I am a huge history fan so that stanza struck a cord. Visually, my mind lingered on the rip tide and drowning in an ocean of tears. I felt sadness and worry here for the author because trembling hands and bloodshot eyes greeted his morning.

Overall impression: I love how the poem evolved into a song about heartache, similar in style to Kristofferson , thankfully not like Hank Williams. There are so many cheating songs out there to me they all seem to sound the same. I really enjoy the variety Kristofferson brings to the music world. I dread the day he passes.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure. I was so excited to see your name listed in the raids.


What does the Fox say????? You Rock!
Lyn


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545
545
Review of Sometime Anytime  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Keaton

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and a leader in Simply Positive.

Title: Sometime Anytime

First Impression: Wow, this is a long poem but as I read it out loud I found it works very well like this.

What needs your attention:
Failing
To convert us
Make us
Like them
When them

I stumble when I go from like them to when them. The when them just does not feel right on the tongue when reading it out loud, try it yourself see what you think out loud.

What part I liked best: My survival, the denial appealed to me the most as I read because I could connect with that so easily. It is easy to lean on our personal cruxes as a means to survive, to actually deny that we need them when in fact we are dependent more than we realize. I love how you close the poem with that is all I got, I'm stuck with it.

Overall impression: Unusual style of poetry for me I have not read another poem like this, it was fun to read out loud. The words chosen worked very well and added to the climax of the poem until it reached it finale. The only thing as I mentioned up above is the stumbling on when them do I suggest a slight revision, the rest totally works!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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546
546
Review of There  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Sara

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and a leader of Simply Positive.

Title: There

First Impression: This was very well written and very engaging to read. I thought the story evolved very smoothly.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I am glad I stumbled across it.

What part I liked best: The does sixth sense protected her, I had to admit I was hoping it would. I felt like I was witnessing the hunter right along with your narrator and I didn't want to see the deer die but I didn't want to lose the powerful connection with the Indian hunter. I felt conflicting emotions at that point but the preservation of the deer won. I liked how she went in and out of the Native American Indians lives at different points in the story, it was interesting to read about how they crushed the acorns to make a mush.

Overall impression: The story unfolds very nicely with a good opening, rising climax, a strong middle, another climax and then teases you with the ending wanting more. Very nicely done! I am truly glad I found this to read this evening, it was quite enjoyable.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say?????

Lyn


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547
547
Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 2 of week June 4-10th

Hi April,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: The Bee and the Bloom

First Impression:What a delightful read from the beginning to the end, I smiled all the way.

What I liked: It is indeed a risk to open oneself to another, we are all afraid of being hurt. Very nicely shown and not told in this stanza.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the free style form works very well here.

Favorite Parts: My favorite stanza is the comparison of how love should be between the dreaded vampire and sweet pleasure of a honeybee and the desire to work for a better place. Visually creative and pleasing to read.

Overall Impression: The free style form works very perfectly with the author's style of writing. The author created a lovely relationship story for readers to explore. There is no mistaking the author appreciates the true concept of love and shared her knowledge with us.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


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Review of 1. Morning Coffee  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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Hi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Morning Coffee

First Impression: I noted this was series and was curious when I came to visit your port, I am still wondering how you chose Blackbird series as the title from what I have read thus far. On my first read through, I found the story flowed well, was easy to follow and the dialogue was good.

What needs your attention: This particular sentence sounds odd when reading it, I would consider changing the phrasing, "Only now did she pay any real attention to it." You have years indicated as this "and being 5’20” tall," when it should actually be 6'8" if that is what you meant when you said 5'20".

What part I liked best: Gillian's teenage son, Connor discussing the deceased rich boy so cold and callously when his mother brought the news flash to his attention. The dialogue sounded just like a seventeen year would say it right down to the letter. From what I have read thus far, Connor opened the door about the rich boy having social/ manner issues and may have acquired an enemy versus it being a random act of violence. It made me chuckle when Connor tried to duck getting a kiss from his mother, that is typical teenage boy behavior too!

I have to agree about being called Maam, that sets me off as well. What is wrong with simply saying Miss or Ms. regardless of a woman's age. I usually give one of those glares that stops a person in their tracks look to any person who calls me Maam.

Overall impression: I found this an interesting read, I will read a couple more chapters out of curiosity. Gillian seems like it could develop into a fascinating character in her career as a police officer. I hope when I read in the next chapters more about the officers she works with and what else Connor knows. The punctuation appears in order, and the paragraphs are spaced well for this reader. The dialogue at this point is very well done.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


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Review of Butterfly  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number #7 of week may 21-27th

Hi Norb,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Butterfly

First Impression: I decided to pick read and review option and what appears but you. Funny, I was thinking about you as the Mets were whopping the Phillies again.

What I liked: Wishing the thoughts would fall into place, I think all of us dream things could happen that way in a relationship, unfortunately they seldom do.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the story unfolds easily from beginning to end.

Favorite Parts: I enjoyed the image of a butterfly swooning in to the net but once the clouds cleared was able to float away. Beautiful verse with lovely imagery for the reader even though the author clearly was caught in a position that was cold and not as planned.

Overall Impression: I could feel the sadness and beauty flowing from beginning to end, one was clearly not in the relationship like the other was and the unavoidable hurt that resulted. I truly hope the author finds the joy in life he so rich deserves. *Heart*

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


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Review by Lyn's a Wit... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 5 of week May 21-27th

Hi Wordsmitty,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Mary had a bunch of littles.

First Impression: I chuckled, reading the names of each animal.

What I liked: The poem was quite amusing to read, and definitely shows potential for learning.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it rocks Wordsmitty. Great job!

Favorite Parts: I loved the selection of animals but I did wonder where the turtle was?

Overall Impression: Amusing and educational all in one delightful read. I would definitely make this into a children's book, the illustrations could be amazing with the images you have verbally created.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


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