*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23
Review Requests: ON
2,107 Public Reviews Given
2,110 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 19 20 21 22 -23- 24 25 26 27 28 ... Next
551
551
Review of Perpetual Hell  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Rhyanna,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing an Ally Review

Title: Perpetual Hell

First Impression: Wow, that title leaves nothing to my imagination, made me wonder if I wanted to venture in and read more.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it is direct and to the point.

What part I liked best: A benign touch brings anguish, sadly it does. My father-in-law has Alzheimer's and the fear that comes on his face when I touch his arm or hand is so emotionally disturbing to me, I am not used to anyone fearing my touch. I cannot imagine being trapped inside one's body with no memories of the ones you love.

Overall impression: This brief message reminds the reader of how devastating dementia and Alzheimer's is to our loved ones. There does not appear to be a way to prevent it from happening. What a horrible ending to one's life. It would be so much easier if we had choices available to avoid supporting nursing home CEO'S while our loved one's life savings dwindle away

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
552
552
Review of Silence  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Rhyanna,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title:Silence

First Impression: I was curious what free association meant and how you would take it. Interesting flow in the paragraphs from the beginning to the end.

What needs your attention: Nothing I could see, it was quite interesting to read.

What part I liked best: I am wondering what barriers served once as a brace, There is so much left unsaid, the reader can speculate many things while she ventures with the authors thoughts. Wow, that is a powerful image a slow drip of satisfaction, I like what mind creates before I discover the scattered thoughts lying like dust. Great word choices here.
All of us falter in this crazy world and hope we can hang on to the shreds of our sanity, you did an excellent job of allowing me to merge successfully with you.

Overall impression: I enjoyed the selection of words that created this virtual journey with the author overcoming an obstacle that steals her tranquilty but is able to hold on barely.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
553
553
Review of Nature's Grace  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes completing my group raid for today.

Title: Nature's Grace

First Impression: Amen! Only God could truly create the beauty that we se when watching the hummingbird tickle the nectar of a rose.

What needs your attention: Nothing.

What part I liked best: First of all the visual structure on the page reminds me of a lantern like we did in another poem a while back. I agree man could never capture the magnificent power hummingbirds have in flight, a blink and you have missed them completely. They are joy to behold for that brief moment in time that we are given to enjoy. Nature shares with us daily such delightful and stimulating views that simple words could never embrace regardless of the artist's talent. We can only strive to influence the reader to imagine beyond the page.

Overall impression: The flow of the poem carries the reader into the garden with the hummingbird and the rose inviting her mind to see one of God's creations doing what comes naturally. This reader feels immensely blessed to know what joy there is in seeing this in person as well.
Thank you for reminding me again who the most creative artist is in our existence, I am humbled in God's eye.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
554
554
Review of Metamorphosis  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing another group raid on your port.

Title: Metamorphosis

First Impression:The butterfly caught my attention when scrolling through your work. I love butterflies so I wandered into see what masterpiece you created.

What needs your attention: Nothing, this meets the criteria according to shadow poetry, I went and looked. I couldn't help myself my overactive sponge was beckoning me to see more.

What part I liked best:{/size
The powerful visual image that initially comes in the readers mind as she sees the woman in the image and reads. I couldn't help myself I sighed too, thinking of how good it does feel to lose one's clothes shedding the day away. There is nothing more delightful to this reader than to feel the warmth of the sun as the author also noted. The rhythm and the rhyme of the poem work very smoothly together creating a luxurious feel like the first step into bubble bath.

Overall impression: I am so impressed with your work, I know I keep telling you how talented you are. I truly hope you send this one out for publication, it is a magnificent work of art.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Dave is a poet, I hope he knows it.
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
555
555
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Dave,

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes doing a Group Raid on your port.

Title: The Art of Reviewing Poetry

First Impression: Wow, this helps me a lot in reviewing, I find doing poetry challenging but I love reading it so I do the best I can.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the advice is solid, well defined and organized.

What part I liked best: The specific points that I can comment on when reading another's work in addition to improving my own work. I see you are a fan of Poe as well. Poe was the master of imagery in my opinion. What a great simile with the cook, I could connect perfectly with the cooking.
I agree with your point on writing metrical is difficult and requires a helluva lot of practice. That is one reason why I love seeing the examples of structured pieces you provide in the Poet's Patio, I don't know if I have told you how much I appreciate the guidance.
I've read some poems that I do feel are chopped up composition and have avoided reviewing them because I don't want to put down what I really think. If you can't say something nice, say nothing it is safer unless you feel comfortable with the person.

Overall impression: You have added immensely to my thirst for knowledge in reviewing and writing with this helpful document. I will be referring to it on a regular basis I assure you.
This piece evoked excitement in this reader.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say????? Hi Teacher, the student is here absorbing so more!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
556
556
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Dave

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Melody of the Broken Hearted

First Impression:Initially, I thought I was reading to poems on one page but as I read it the second time it dawned on me the poet was singing his own somebody song about heartache. Cool!

What needs your attention: Nothing, you are a very talented author/poet. I feel humbled to read your work in comparison to my own.

What part I liked best: I enjoyed the whole poem immensely. The parts that appealed to me were the reference to history and mystery, I am a huge history fan so that stanza struck a cord. Visually, my mind lingered on the rip tide and drowning in an ocean of tears. I felt sadness and worry here for the author because trembling hands and bloodshot eyes greeted his morning.

Overall impression: I love how the poem evolved into a song about heartache, similar in style to Kristofferson , thankfully not like Hank Williams. There are so many cheating songs out there to me they all seem to sound the same. I really enjoy the variety Kristofferson brings to the music world. I dread the day he passes.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my IMMENSE pleasure. I was so excited to see your name listed in the raids.


What does the Fox say????? You Rock!
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
557
557
Review of Sometime Anytime  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Keaton

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and a leader in Simply Positive.

Title: Sometime Anytime

First Impression: Wow, this is a long poem but as I read it out loud I found it works very well like this.

What needs your attention:
Failing
To convert us
Make us
Like them
When them

I stumble when I go from like them to when them. The when them just does not feel right on the tongue when reading it out loud, try it yourself see what you think out loud.

What part I liked best: My survival, the denial appealed to me the most as I read because I could connect with that so easily. It is easy to lean on our personal cruxes as a means to survive, to actually deny that we need them when in fact we are dependent more than we realize. I love how you close the poem with that is all I got, I'm stuck with it.

Overall impression: Unusual style of poetry for me I have not read another poem like this, it was fun to read out loud. The words chosen worked very well and added to the climax of the poem until it reached it finale. The only thing as I mentioned up above is the stumbling on when them do I suggest a slight revision, the rest totally works!

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
558
558
Review of There  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
House Florent Image for G.o.T. "Game of Thrones" 

Hi Sara

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes and a leader of Simply Positive.

Title: There

First Impression: This was very well written and very engaging to read. I thought the story evolved very smoothly.

What needs your attention: Nothing, I am glad I stumbled across it.

What part I liked best: The does sixth sense protected her, I had to admit I was hoping it would. I felt like I was witnessing the hunter right along with your narrator and I didn't want to see the deer die but I didn't want to lose the powerful connection with the Indian hunter. I felt conflicting emotions at that point but the preservation of the deer won. I liked how she went in and out of the Native American Indians lives at different points in the story, it was interesting to read about how they crushed the acorns to make a mush.

Overall impression: The story unfolds very nicely with a good opening, rising climax, a strong middle, another climax and then teases you with the ending wanting more. Very nicely done! I am truly glad I found this to read this evening, it was quite enjoyable.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure.

What does the Fox say?????

Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
559
559
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 2 of week June 4-10th

Hi April,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: The Bee and the Bloom

First Impression:What a delightful read from the beginning to the end, I smiled all the way.

What I liked: It is indeed a risk to open oneself to another, we are all afraid of being hurt. Very nicely shown and not told in this stanza.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the free style form works very well here.

Favorite Parts: My favorite stanza is the comparison of how love should be between the dreaded vampire and sweet pleasure of a honeybee and the desire to work for a better place. Visually creative and pleasing to read.

Overall Impression: The free style form works very perfectly with the author's style of writing. The author created a lovely relationship story for readers to explore. There is no mistaking the author appreciates the true concept of love and shared her knowledge with us.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
560
560
Review of 1. Morning Coffee  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with Blog City ~ Every Blogger'...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
House Florent "Game of Thrones" 

Hi

My name is Lyn, I am one of the sly foxes.

Title: Morning Coffee

First Impression: I noted this was series and was curious when I came to visit your port, I am still wondering how you chose Blackbird series as the title from what I have read thus far. On my first read through, I found the story flowed well, was easy to follow and the dialogue was good.

What needs your attention: This particular sentence sounds odd when reading it, I would consider changing the phrasing, "Only now did she pay any real attention to it." You have years indicated as this "and being 5’20” tall," when it should actually be 6'8" if that is what you meant when you said 5'20".

What part I liked best: Gillian's teenage son, Connor discussing the deceased rich boy so cold and callously when his mother brought the news flash to his attention. The dialogue sounded just like a seventeen year would say it right down to the letter. From what I have read thus far, Connor opened the door about the rich boy having social/ manner issues and may have acquired an enemy versus it being a random act of violence. It made me chuckle when Connor tried to duck getting a kiss from his mother, that is typical teenage boy behavior too!

I have to agree about being called Maam, that sets me off as well. What is wrong with simply saying Miss or Ms. regardless of a woman's age. I usually give one of those glares that stops a person in their tracks look to any person who calls me Maam.

Overall impression: I found this an interesting read, I will read a couple more chapters out of curiosity. Gillian seems like it could develop into a fascinating character in her career as a police officer. I hope when I read in the next chapters more about the officers she works with and what else Connor knows. The punctuation appears in order, and the paragraphs are spaced well for this reader. The dialogue at this point is very well done.

Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my immense pleasure.


What does the Fox say?????
Lyn


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
561
561
Review of Butterfly  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review number #7 of week may 21-27th

Hi Norb,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Butterfly

First Impression: I decided to pick read and review option and what appears but you. Funny, I was thinking about you as the Mets were whopping the Phillies again.

What I liked: Wishing the thoughts would fall into place, I think all of us dream things could happen that way in a relationship, unfortunately they seldom do.

What needs your attention: Nothing, the story unfolds easily from beginning to end.

Favorite Parts: I enjoyed the image of a butterfly swooning in to the net but once the clouds cleared was able to float away. Beautiful verse with lovely imagery for the reader even though the author clearly was caught in a position that was cold and not as planned.

Overall Impression: I could feel the sadness and beauty flowing from beginning to end, one was clearly not in the relationship like the other was and the unavoidable hurt that resulted. I truly hope the author finds the joy in life he so rich deserves. *Heart*

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
562
562
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 5 of week May 21-27th

Hi Wordsmitty,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Mary had a bunch of littles.

First Impression: I chuckled, reading the names of each animal.

What I liked: The poem was quite amusing to read, and definitely shows potential for learning.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it rocks Wordsmitty. Great job!

Favorite Parts: I loved the selection of animals but I did wonder where the turtle was?

Overall Impression: Amusing and educational all in one delightful read. I would definitely make this into a children's book, the illustrations could be amazing with the images you have verbally created.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
563
563
Review of Little Bear  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 4 of week May 21-27th

Hi April,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Little Bear,

First Impression: It made me think of the popular children series Little Bear by Else Holmelund Minarik. The poem could easily become a book as hers did.

What I liked: The little girl and the little bear setting up camp together in the open out in the sunshine.

What needs your attention: Nothing!

Favorite Parts: The little bear expressing his loneliness and the little girl promising to return. I smiled knowing there was a happy ending. *Bigsmile*

Overall Impression: The poem flowed delightfully from beginning to end. It was a very enjoyable read, a feel good story that could very easily be created into a book with lovely illustrations. Congratulations April, this is excellent work!

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
564
564
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review number # 6 of week May 14-20th

HiOld Warrior,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Resurrection of the Dead

First Impression: The title caught my attention when I was looking over the group's contest entries.

What I liked: I enjoyed reading about the different people with memories of past lives, interesting twist how each was from different areas and time frames.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it rocks as is.

Favorite Parts: The discussion of the food contents in the man's stomach and then when the author discussed how many people could possibly be resurrected. That's a staggering number to consider. We would face chaos, cultural shock and more battles or struggles over power. I was amused to discover Father Joe was not really a nice Catholic priest but instead Anubis with a mission.

Overall Impression: Enjoyable read, the author did an excellent job of holding this readers attention. The Book of the Dead even the thought is revolting and compelling at once. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
565
565
Review of I Am  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review number #1 of week May 14-20th

Hi Midnight Wanderer

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: I Am

First Impression: I was curious how you addressed not using a transient state.

What I liked: I liked the eagle image, they are impressive to watch. The author created successfully consistent imagery in each couplet. *Bigsmile*

What needs your attention: One simple thought- the first couplet might be stronger if you find an alternative word to continue with the rhyme theme.

Favorite Parts: The rainbow after a storm, even at my age I love looking for the rainbow after a shower. The feeling of discovery never grows old.

Overall Impression: The couplets enhanced the flow of the poem, the imagery was balanced throughout to the reader's delight.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my Immense pleasure! Welcome to WDC!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
566
566
Review of Rain  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 6 of week May 7-13

HiFiction Diva,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Rain

First Impression: Initially, the picture of rain enticed me to visit.

What I liked: The imagery created by your word choices made me smile and enjoy the rainy experience. I love walking in the rain.

What needs your attention: Nothing!

Favorite Parts: "Her April showers can bloom reflection and drive those with old afflictions to their beds." A potent reminder that the weather affects so many people. I feel blessed that I can enjoy the rain at my age. I am truly glad that human hands cannot control the rain, we would not handle the additional power well.

Overall Impression: The sonnet is well done, the rhythm and rhyme work very well, definitely a joy to read. Thank you for writing a beautiful sonnet!

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
567
567
Review of Poetic Thoughts  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review number #4 of week May 7-13

Hi Kings,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title:Poetic Thoughts

First Impression: The title is what caught my attention.

What I liked: A poem about poetry is what appealed to me.

What needs your attention: The second line in the first stanza, I would use something different than poems because it is to close to the ending in the previous line. How about you write masterfully emotions I've never known. Just food for thought *Smile*

Favorite Parts: I love the last two stanzas! "Rhythm and rhyme gel to a sweet liquid emotion", are a joy to read for a poetry writer and lover of the written word. It is not easy mastering both.
"Painting a picture as in art", every poet hopes they accomplish that when they bare their heart and soul to the reader.


Overall Impression: Delightful surprise, I am glad I visited your port, I will be back again.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
568
568
Review of Ageless Memories  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 3 of week May 7-13

Hi Old Warrior

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Ageless Memories,

First Impression: I felt the old warrior's sadness at his role in life, part of him happy to be able to enjoy the sunshine but also missing being with his sons and grandsons.

What I liked: I enjoyed reading the comparison between the white man's children and the old warriors. Yes, it is definitely of their own making.

What needs your attention: Nothing!

Favorite Parts: The sweet smell of life runs free in my veins and the Great Spirit has provided for the old warrior, this makes me very happy to read.

Overall Impression: Yes, it does take years to build but when it comes to writing our lives we tend not to overwhelm our readers with too many details. This was a delightful story to read, I am so glad I visited your port.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
569
569
for entry "Trolls" 
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review number # 5 of week April 16-22nd

Hi Carly,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Trolls,

First Impression: As I read, my first thought was Carly met my ex-husband, he was mean like that.

What I liked: The images created with the authors word choices.

What needs your attention: Nothing.

Favorite Parts: Toothless grins, made me chuckle. I hate seeing people's gums when they forget to put their teeth in. I bet a troll would look worse.

Overall Impression: Amusing free verse about trolls. One of my favorite books to read as a child was 3 Billy Goats Gruff and the mean troll under the bridge.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my immense pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
570
570
Review of Is That Love?  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review number # 5 of week 3/25-4/1

Hi Walter

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Is That Love?

First Impression: Interesting question, I am not sure you found the answer.

What I liked: When you're okay with being sad. Yes, I believe that putting another before ourselves is important always. It feels sweeter when you know that the other is happy.

What needs your attention: I would put a comma after yet, because when I read it out loud I pause there. It's your call, I suggest you read it out loud and see if you do.

Favorite Parts: Yes, ignoring ones need because the others matter more. However compromise is equally important.

Overall Impression: Everyone asks these questions of themselves in the beginning. I think you covered it very well. Very nice to read.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
571
571
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review number # 6 of week 3/20-3/25

Hi Dave

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive and for your assignment in the Poet's Place.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Echoes From the Crypt

First Impression: The author is very capable of creating visual imagery. I felt my first read of the work, I could visualize each detail like I was standing there.

What I liked: The second stanza I felt really moved, I sensed the author's reluctance to harm the common folk. A brief glimpse of the author's personality which I find important in all poetry.

What needs your attention: The student bows to the teacher on this, excellent work.

Favorite Parts: I can't separate one particular part because the story told in the poem builds from beginning to end, creating a powerful image of our societal demise. It indicates that is gothic, occult and horror but in reality it could apply to our daily existence at times. Look at how that is happening around the world, so many people weeping in despair, crying out for help, bombings, etc.

Overall Impression: I think the authors descriptive imager was very persuasive. I believe the intent was to make the reader think, feel and challenge themselves to change therefore becoming more than a creature from a crypt. The structure of the Rondeau form fit this particular work very well, I agree with the author it allowed the story to be told with particular emphasis stressed at the right moment. Excellent demonstration, Dave. Just in case I haven't said, thank you for all you do, please note that is one of those moments.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my Immense pleasure to give back to the teacher. I am a grateful student!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
572
572
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 6 of week 3/12-3/18

Hi Sue,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: I am a butterfly

First Impression: I would love to be a butterfly in that garden.

What I liked: I am getting woozy from all the pollen. Yeah, like everything in life moderation, though the temptation with such a lovely garden would challenge all creatures.

What needs your attention: Nothing, it is perfect as is.

Favorite Parts: I had forgotten they lay their eggs on the milkweed. It is so sad to see butterflies declining because of all the chemicals people use to keep their yards free of weeds. I prefer the old fashion way, puttering every day and appreciating the imperfections.

Overall Impression: I am glad I visited your port and discovered this lovely butterfly tribute. The wind is whipping away outside, a brisk 34 degrees and I am longing for spring to appear. Thank you for creating a lovely place to visit in the mean time. Well-written and visually stimulating.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my immense pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
573
573
Review of He Was Only Two  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review number # 2 of week 3/12- 3/18

Hi Matthew,

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: He Was Only Two

First Impression: What a inspirational way to share a young's life with us.

What I liked: How you took us for his journey by stanzas.

What needs your attention: In the stanza, where he is 7, you have used was in all the lines except one. All that he is hearing, should be for continuity all that he was hearing.

Favorite Parts: He put his country first, I respect that belief strongly. My son is a Senior Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, this is his 19th year. He believes as your young man does, country before self.

Overall Impression: I was sad, to know he did not return home to his wife and child. My heart breaks for the family. Thank you for reminding us all of the men that serve to keep us all safe.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
574
574
Review of The Sleeper  
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review number #6 of week 2/19-2/25

Hi PhantomPen

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: Unfinished

First Impression: Wow, I did not see that coming. I thought I was reading a story about Alzheimer's and the wife was watching her husband.

What I liked: The agony and loneliness apparent in both characters, I felt so sad.

What needs your attention: Nothing

Favorite Parts: The surprise in the ending when you revealed that he had killed her. I felt so bad for her but then when the demons came for him, I hoped they wouldn't take him either.

Overall Impression: Excellent, the story evolved in such an unexpected manner, and the ending was perfection!

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my IMMENSE pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
575
575
Review by Lyn's a Wit...
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review number # 3 of week 2/19-2/25

Hi Mason

My name is Lyn and I am doing a review for Simply Positive.

Please remember I am a writer, I know what it feels like to be reviewed! Please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

Title: A literature Essay on Twelfth Night.

First Impression: This must have been written for a school assignment. I'll read on since I enjoyed the Twelfth Night.

What I liked: "However some language between the characters for modern audiences could be viewed as a little over emotive. 'If you will not murder me for my love, let me be your servant' (2.1.30-1, Norton 2nd edition, p.1806) this statement is not typical of a heteronormative relationship between a Captain and passenger. This could simply be down to a comedic idea of sexualized banter of sea going men who exchange such words in a tongue-in-cheek manner adding to the comedic value of the play." In reading, the story I felt it was tongue and cheek play more than a conversation between two gay lovers.


What needs your attention:Your title, you have misspelled Twelfth


Favorite Parts: " If Shakespeare had been writing in a manner that was politically persuasive and that foregrounded homoeroticism with impunity then he could not have chosen a better way of doing it. It appears ostensibly that the play is simply festive fun where the working class is elevated and family reunion is the order of the day." Excellent summation in my humble opinion.

Overall Impression: I felt that Shakespeare wanted to rattle cages and make people think outside the norm, to stimulate the imagination of what is possible in love. If women had actually been able to be in the roles I wonder if these same conversations would actually occur.

Thank you for letting me read your work. It was my pleasure!
Lyn


For Members Of SIMPLY POSITIVE.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
822 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 33 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/elusive4lyn/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/23