Hey Shannon,
Congratulations! It's been a long time since I last said hi, so thought I'd drop by. That image prompt was rather challenging. I like the way you've portrayed the characters with the carefully selected words. You could increase the font size a bit. Nice work, write on!
This is a very touching story. It could be improved in a lot of ways though. You should break the story nicely inn short paragraphs, to increase readability. Punctuate, cut off the unwanted words. I like the dramatic ending. Write on!
Hi there,
I like both the letters, especially the second one. I wish I'd know more about the incidents, these letters made me curious. You can use these letters as a prologue to a novella, you'll find a lot of things to write about. I hope the girl will come back to her mom.
Hi there,
this little tale of your fight with a fatal disease is really inspiring. You really had to face a lot but finally you had the courage to overcome it.
Language:Simple, and catchy.
Layout: The lines are well spaced and everything is expressed very precisely, preventing monotony.
Errors?: In the second paragraph "the radiation" is repeated twice, you can merge both the sentences into one.
I has to be capitalized.
Overall impression: A very encouraging and inspiring tale which teaches to live on.
Hi there,
well, this was a scary story indeed. I liked reading it though. I liked it because of the variety of events, and the short easy paragraphs. The ending seems a bit too cruel though, try to make it a bit softer. You can elaborate this story. Write on.
Hi there,
yes, beauty really lies inside.One should learn to take care of their own qualities rather than brooding about what they don't have. Learn to accept yourself as who you arr. I'm not saying being beautiful is not worth it , you should definitely try to look nice to increase your confidence, but brooding for glamour is not worth it. Increase the spacing between the lines. Write on!
Hi there,
this was really scary. I never even dreamt of such a factory or such a place filled with workers. I like the simplicity of this piece. You've created some interesting strange creatures here. Keep writing.
Hi there,
I love this nice short poem. The spacing between the lines could be increased though. I like the way you've expressed some fascinating natural beauty within a short limit of words. Make the poem alligned at the center to make it look better. Write on
Hi there,
maybe you were suffering from writer's block when you wrote this. The lines have a very sad tone in them. The lines are a bit lengthy, but that's worth it. The language is not so simple, remember, simplicity is a nice way to attract readers. Write on!
Hi there,
This is quite interesting. I wonder what I'd do if the temperature dropped suddenly. You can use this as the first part of a novel ar short story if you want, cause this can be elaborated a lot. Did you win? Enjoyed reading this, write on!
Hi there,
Well,I love both the characters, especially the lady. She was really true to herself and the one she loved, so she finally got what she wanted. I like the simplicity of the story, But dialogues seem dominating here, and you told a lot of things from beforehand, try to show a bit before telling. Enjoyed reading this. Write on!
This one's a really touching poem, a lovely story told in verse. each stanza has a perfect rhyme, and simplicity makes this a special piece. A very well deserved first place. Write on!
Hi there,
this boy seems really interested about grown up matters. He's a bit unusual, curious, but sweet too. The ending seems a bit abrupt, though. I think you could improve this a lot by adding a bit more detailed description about the characters, especially the boy.
write on
Hi there,
I expected this to be a bit terrifying, because it's all about a bank robbery. I wonder what I'd think about in such a situation. This can be transfered into a novel too, write about the life of gansters or robbers, let your imagination run wild. Write on!
Hello there,
Bonding with parents is important, especially when they get older. You seem to understand that and provide the required support without being very irritated or disturbed. Some people tend to think that elderly parents are burdens, this will surely teach them a lesson.
write on
Hi there,
I wish the girl got her lover, but she didn't. This is a really sad story, told precisely, in a rythmic way and with some powerful descriptions which helps the reader to visualize the situation. Though it is a poetry, it looks more like a prose because of the layout. Break the lines short, and try to give it a better structure.
well written
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Hi Kiya,
you are really special, and all of your friends love you, which is evident in this poem. This has a sweet rhyme and rhythm, and I like the way the emotions are expressed here. The card has a lovely background, who designed it? Your birthday is coming up soon, happy birthday in advance.
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You've expressed your feelings about this wonderful site in a very short, yet sweet and simple way. I'd like it even more if you added a little about your writing style and your favorite genres. Elaborate this a bit if you wish to. Write on!
Hi there,
Happy WDC birthday. This often happens to many writers I think. You plan to write something, then write something else. I like the layout of this poem. It is sweet and amusing too. It has nice rhyme and rhythm. Write on!
Hi there,
this one's a beautiful poem about the pretty godess. Though it's lengthy, I like this poem a lot, it is like a story told in verse. Try to indent each stanza in a different way, that would give this an attractive layout. Keep writing!
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Hi there,
I'm sure every reader can relate to this, as these moments are so common for everyone, maybe in a different way. We have to act in the drama of life, for our own good. So no matter what, try to be positive and face life in your own way.
write on
Hello there,
this one's a really amusing tale of two little aliens. You've used a variety of ways to make it interesting. A lot of action and conversation is there, and this story does more showing rather than telling. The language is simple, yet powerful. And it is neither jumpy nor monotonous. Well done, write on!
Hello there,
this one's a nice poem but I wish the worlds would be a bit more simpler, as I like simplicity. I like the way you've shown your love for writing through this. Try to allign this at the center. Keep writing.
Hi there,
this one's a beautiful poem for a loved one. I love the way you've expressed your feelings here. This does not rhyme, but rhyming is not required here. This one has a nice layout, and the lines are spaced well. Indent the stanzas a bit if you wish.
Write on
Hi there,
Devils are always weak. The poem rhymes well and runs smoothly. I like the colours here, and I hope other readers will get the message you tried to transmit through this poem. Make the poem centered if you wish. Write on. You can create a book item for this contest as you enetr regularly.
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Language:Simple, and catchy.