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6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
Least Favorite Item Types
long novels
I will not review...
Long novels
Public Reviews
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976
976
Review of mammoth cave  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like essays. I like learning about new places

Overall impression of piece You have a lot of facts in a very short piece.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Two spaces after a period. Otherwise it looks crowded. the { at the end looks out of place--perhaps some formatting gone awry?

What I liked?*Smile* I like the specifics about what is there. I like telling of the tours.

What I disliked*Idea* What is the most important thing? Impress me to go. I am not sure if you have ever been or if you copied the information out of a book. The reader wants to know what you think. Most would not be interested in dates. You have the National Park date as well as the other one down twice.

How the piece made me feel Make sure you fill out your bio. Reviewers really need that to be able to assess what y ou need as a writer and to communicate.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
977
977
Review of the big forty  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw this in essays and hope to say things to encourage you in your path. I get this. I have similar issues. Getting older is not for the faint of heart.

Overall impression of piece: You have a lot of good basic down home truth in here. I believe that you believe everything you said. Did you mean Not me. Actually that is probably the correct way of saying it and the thing before, incorrect. Forty should be spelled out.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Here needs a cap. Bitter-sweet arrival no comma after weet.

What I liked?*Smile* I like the attempt at graining perspective. I think most of us need that. You brought up RA, but then never elaborated as to what this means. If it curtains you, I would be specific.

What I disliked*Idea*: Good facts, but give us examples of some of this. What do we waste our time on?

How the piece made me feel Do they have their lifes in order? I think that is so hard to know. We are not what we seem on the outside.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
978
978
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I saw this in non fiction and frequent here pretty routinely. I don't think I have ever reviewed you. You write about things that are really important.

Overall impression of piece Our world can be kind of hearltess. We then wonder why it doesn't work so well

Grammatical and spelling errors: Most of the time, needs a comma might be close needs a comma

What I liked?*Smile* You must be an incredible person. The truth expressed are to the point and I believe, fervently held.

What I disliked*Idea* You spoke in a lot of cliches like heart on their sleeve. It seems like y ou are prosetyzing towards a way of life and you really don't say what that is. To love the unloveable is really difficult and not within the natural realm of men and women. There is a lot of summary in this piece. Your truths are spendidi and right on, but what folks need are examples on how this works

How the piece made me feel Get a clearer aspect on what you want to tell the reader. This piece ends in you. People are only compelling if we believe what they say. I am not sure here. Too many generalizations.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
979
979
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece This came up on random review. It is always a pleasure to review your work

Overall impression of piece: I get this. I was able to retire because the Social Security people termed me disabelled.. Life has been kind of difficult for us monetarily and the future is quite obscure. I have many gifts, but none recognized by anybody. I did Pathology in a lab for 35 years. I have heard a lot of things over the years. I have to admit, this is a new one.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Paragraphing looks odd/ Each paragraph should have a line inbetween or be indented. Since most read this on line, I would recommend the line inbetween

What I liked?*Smile*I like how you listed the original and the version type. We do live affluently and an error on Pizza is not the end of the world. I think there is a matter of upbringing here. This is not to find fault. We all have issues.

What I disliked*Idea* This is an awfully comlicated metaphor that doesn't quite work for me. This kind of comes out of Jewish tradition so the update needs really careful explanation to make it work. God is a Pizza man named Gary? I would explain more to make it stick.

How the piece made me feel Does God deliver cold Pizza? The only heat sources are in brand x. God gives us what we need, not necessarily what we want. On the other hand, everybody wants pizza. It may be one of the few things that are recession proof.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
980
980
Review of Darkie  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: You have an aura of intrigue over this. People don't often go out and swing baseball bats in the middle of the night.

Grammatical and spelling errors:Ally generally means someone you hold as a compatriot. Could be a proper name. Couldn't find the spelling for the gravel road behind the house. At this time, needs a comma to set off the clause.

What I liked? *Smile* I do like the mystery of this. I don't know what is going on. It makes me want to look for something.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I am not sure if I get the point of this. There is this bat and she can swing and hit the ball hard against a wall. I don't see why that is important. Why is she out there on a moonless night? You talk about a shadow in your intro, but I don't see one in the text.

How the piece made me feel: I think there is more of a story here than what you let on. If there is horror here, I missed it.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
981
981
Review of Thanksgiving  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Thought i would return a review

Overall impression of piece: thanksgiving definitely was a spiritual holiday when Lincoln purposed it in 1863. Two quaker ladies had petitioned the President who took them seriously. It had been a long standing proposal

Grammatical and spelling errors Nurturation--not really. Nurture would work just as well. Luv as slang kind of cheapens it, but that is probably just me.

What I liked?*Smile* Mostly I don't like acrostics. I find them kind of contrived, but this one you have done pretty well. I think the letters of thanksgiving help alot. The ing words give this a sense of flow which is interesting

What I disliked*Idea* Not punctuating kind of makes this a little hard to read.

How the piece made me feel The humber one symbol of Christians early was not the cross but resurrection. We were born into new life.. I( feel accepted by this. It is truely the greatest miracle.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
982
982
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: This definitely gives a new meaning to a red light special in aisle 9. We have Albertson's here in Idaho (the home of Albertson's) but I think I am glad I don't shop there any more

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* There is a lot going on here that most can identify with. the spouses that can't find time together is definitely a story of our times. Talking to her Mother about her marriage problems--not the greatest, but it happens. The arbitrary way that volunteers are gotten in Church. I wish I could say that isn't so but I know better.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I think this is a little underrated as to content. I think it should be bumped up to atleast a 13+. I didn't find it offensive in that way. I am a destinctly religious and spiritual man and the Bible says that you shall enjoy intimacy with the wife of your youth. I think this premarital stuff needs to be talked about, but marriage relationships are truly a thing of wonder.

How the piece made me feel: This was funny. As a red blooded American male married to a gorgeous gal for 39 years, I get this. I am not sure how realistic this is with the pastors demands. I've never heard anything like demands like this in decades of listening to pastors.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
983
983
Review of Realisation  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like essays. I write a lot of them. I know what it is like when no one reviews them. Here goes.

Overall impression of piece: Written with enthusiasm. Some grammatical issues. You mispelled the title

Grammatical and spelling errors: Should be a line inbetween paragraphs for the block style. Not only is it grammatically correct to do this, it is much easier to read on screen. Hyphens have no spaces. Premeditated-forceful. Realization is with a z

What I liked?*Smile* This is succinct and fairly to the point. It is written with a very sweet and helpful spirit. I do sense there is real wisdom here.

What I disliked*Idea* Start by getting everyone on the same page. Attraction can mean a lot of things. give examples of what you mean. this definitely could be longer for something that important. It is easier and less confusing to say what you do mean and not what you don't mean. Earl Nightengale said it best. You are what you think about. I do buy that.

How the piece made me feelDefinitely fill in your bio. It really helps reviewers know something of the person they are reviewing. I've been forced into retirement so I would be most interested on things like the nuts and bolts of what the last sentence means in real terms. Give examples

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
984
984
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Seemed like a story at first and I wondered about the format. Later I did get caught up into feelings and locale which I think are important in poetry

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* I pretty much get the feeling behind this. We are only one once. Why not take a chance and live life full out--full of life and intrigue. If not now, when? Lots of exotic desciptors to describe scene. I could buy into it. Property ladder is an interesting metaphor. We accumulate what we don't really want or need.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought*Vitamin D and serotonin come in pills and are not very poetic. Didn't know what a tapas was, but looked it up. I can see why you used it with the alliteration of T's.

How the piece made me feel: Mermaids are interesting in that they generally would rescue drowing sailors.. It seems like she is rescued by her life style

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
985
985
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:I always love non fiction. I have not read this one, but was very interested. I am reading one now called Overblown which talks about terrorism. Everybook is soon outdated. this one is interesting in that it talks about more modern terrorists verses ones from long ago

Grammatical and spelling errors: One of your myth makers became a martyrmaker. Doesn't make sense so I thought I would point it out. Genrally book tiles are underlined

What I liked? *Smile* Sounds like an interesting book. America has long been a virtual fountain of misinformation. It is kind of our way. Things are printed that are sensational and when found to be untrue, the redaction is page 47 of an obscure journal. Nobody cares about that.. One of the prime studies to say that active people live longer was the conductor/ bus driver study in Britain. It turns out that less fit people were not hired as conductors.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Why write this? 2006 reviews probably won't be published soon and what I need as a reader are specifics that help me translate his wisdom to today. You spent a lot of your time panning the book

How the piece made me feel:I would consider making this more about how myths are made and less of a Book review. Definitely quote it if interested. Who is Radford? Never really said

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
986
986
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:You have a lot of empathy for what is going on across America everyday. The logical side on us says. "What were they thinking?" Most decisions are not logical

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads reasonably ok

What I liked? *Smile* You have a lot going on here. the rhyme is there and makes this eminently more interesting.. This kind of comes acrossed as a flight of emotions trying to get safety and freedom. the chaos kind of stresses that. I get the lack of punctuation, to a point. It is a poem of tones with the varied rhyming and telling the story with details

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Without punctuation does make it a bit hard to read. I think most of the chaos is one long verse(which is good) but the lack of punctuation makes it a bit hard to read. Archie and Mehitabel poems uses this to its advantage as Archie is a Reincarnated free verse poet and there is some humor there. To read it, you have to manually put in the punctuation

How the piece made me feel: Not many write about tragedy. Hamlet is kind of Passe these days. I kind of lose her a bit in the piece. I would think the decision is more visceral than what you lead on.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
987
987
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I got the request for review and didn't think it would be interesting but was pleasantly surprised. The story has a lot of things going for it. You think you understand what is going on and the twist at the end is abrubt and startling. I wasn't expecting this. Definitely a different twist on "Guess Whose Coming to Dinner."

Grammatical and spelling errors:seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* The pictures are classic and really add to the story. You have a couple with a hidden past on both side, a mafia figure and creatures from the inner sanctum--aka Mom and Dad. I think every couple worries about should I tell them everything. We think we are honest, but not so much. I think going to cross city is an interesting turn. With monsters on the horizon, they should have stayed there.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I missing a little foreshadowing here. Maybe Jack could only get married at night under the Moon. She can think its kind of weird and romantic, but those in love generally will go along with a lot of things. Jack could look a little pale, although she will pink him up she thinks. I see these parents as vampires, although it really isn't said.

How the piece made me feel: I think I would make her a potential member of the undead. She would give her life for her husband. Now she would be joined with him in perpetual death. Or, I guess you could just go with a perpetual feeding frenzy. Dinner without any committment or any guilt. Is there recycling going on? Ending seems to abrupt. I would atleast refer to her body washing out of the river a little later and joining unsolved murders. This was enjoyable and kind of fun.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
988
988
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Trolling articles. I can't dispute the validity. I am a believer

Overall impression of piece: There is a fair amount going on here. People asphyxiate in environmental poisons. Asthma is rampant. We do pay a cost for all of this

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile*Argument is logical and sequentials. Eternal life is a good translation, but they are using a specialized definition of life.

What I disliked*Idea* So doesn't add anything. I would delete it. Air also insn't free when it is so deprived of oxygen that people die. I would give argumentative agrument to talk about God's love. Can you pay for it by doing good works? Kind of ends abrubtly

How the piece made me feel Who pays the price for covering the mandates of the Lord? Somebody does. Faith does cost something.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
989
989
Review of Do Not Despair  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:I marvel at the discipline that it takes to do this. I am no where near that disciplined and applaud those who can even attempt it. This is word poetry. You do match the beautiful picture at the beginning of the piece.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Rise "til would look better. Riseuntil is not a word by me

What I liked? *Smile* I really like the picture. If it is yours, I applaud that. You really do describe the picture and have adequetely used the prerequisite words. I always applaud having the format put in, even if it is cut and pasted from somewhere else. It is part of what is going on. It is written in kind of a clasical word choice like portend. This is very rhymed and very structured, but doesn't actually seem too much

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought*: Does form get in the way of the emotions. Perhaps it does a bit for me. It definitely enhances the word painting part of the poem

How the piece made me feel: I think we do have to train everything about us. Even our ears need training. It isn't all about us. We do see what we want to see. Despair is a real aspect of our age. Kind of reminiscent of the Hollow Men, but at least it shows a way out.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
990
990
Review of Perfection  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looking through essays and saw this. I like writing short. Maybe you have taken it to new levels here, but definitely an interesting thought

Overall impression of piece I am another 62 y o man and am a public speaker. Any speaker will tell you that there is the speech he wrote, the one he meant to give and the one he gave. Definitely not the same speech. It is hard to define perfection, little alone be perfect. Still I look at the Olympics with gymnastics quntifying performance. Only an expert can tell the difrference. they all look pretty good to me.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* Obviously this a thought that has gone back to the very dawn of man. Definely succinctly put and thought provoking

What I disliked*Idea* I like succinct, but I need more. What does this mean to you personally? Sometimes I give a speech and think, that is as good as I could be today. I have evaluators who see things a bit differently. Did I give the message? Did they receive? Picasso sold very little while alive.

How the piece made me feel I think there is a wealth of information here. Don't hold back. What you have can help someone.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
991
991
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like essays. It is the majority of what I write. It is gratifying to review a young person who knows something about English. Congratulations on your award.

Overall impression of piece This is pretty well put together. I have to believe that very few people have any idea what this is about.

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems very intact. I am not the ultimate guru, but I didn't see any abnormalities

What I liked?*Smile* Your piece is logical and sequential. I really like that. I found your injury report fascinating and wholeheartedly agree. I definitely can agree with your point

What I disliked*Idea* 1999 declared a sport doesn't encompass who said it. I think that is the most important part of the message. I played tabletennis in High school and they didn't consider that a sport either. Of course, they actually didn't play the way we did. You have a hypothetical audience here and your involvement is hinted at but never really commented on. I think a lot of these things in first person would have really drove home your point

How the piece made me feel Women in athletics has changed alot in a generation. Title 9 making womens sport mandatory did a lot. We shouldn't have meddled some say. Maybe we will get to a society where we won't even have these discussion. there is a lot of Chauvanistic feelings. There in mini skirts. How athletic can they be?

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
992
992
Review of O Money Cow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Well I can't say I have read 27 pieces just like this. It is original. I think this should be categorized as satire and sung to the tune of O Christmas tree.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* This definitely gets an A for originality. You have mimiced the rhyme and rhythm so I totally bought into what I think you are trying to do. Reminiscent of Stan Freeberg

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Are you crass because you go after money? I am not sure if money deserves such a crass attempt at looking at it. It certainly can be, but this seems to be a bit over the top. I think there is family story involved here that really isn't that clear and may be out of place in a new age hymn

How the piece made me feel: In the end money is really pretty meaningless. We don't have much these days. We can be as happy as we want to be. Mostly, it really doesn't cost that much

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
993
993
Rated: E | (4.0)
It might be interesting on things like this to know how they took the film. I didn't see it as tremendous Cinemetography. I saw it as a lot of fun and entertainment and a good show case for Johnny Depp. I think trhe latest Lone Ranger was kind of that ilk too
994
994
Review of Grab The Harpoon!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I get this. It really is how people talk. I guess it is a whale of a good idea.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems kind of superfilous to comment here. that may be the point

What I liked? *Smile* Point is well made. Crummy language is the basic stuff of the human condition. If you are waiting for Shakespearean English, you might have a long wait. Why shouldn't we get wisdom from a fish? They do go to school. Definitely get the tongue-in-cheek here. I like the famous passive voice to start off the piece.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* We have a lot of verbal clues when we talking to folks one on one. This gets a little too fragmentary to even know what is going on.

How the piece made me feel: The only way a sardine sandich has ever talked to me is to give me indigestion. Are there whales off the coast of Ireland or is this another one of the implausibles like a talking sandwhich. Wait a minute. Whales eat sardines.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
995
995
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: There have a lot of good things here. It is a pretty funny piece. there is a lot of real life here. Life is what happens when you are expecting something else.

Grammatical and spelling errors:fancy-smancy no space

What I liked? *Smile* People change in this. Maybe not too much, but real life requires a real response. You have great humor by the use of exageration(I hope). Of course the police man stopped her. It is a perfect storm. I am not sure of the warning ticket for running a yellow, but it seemed to work in context. There obviously was some humanity in posponning the presentation. The return of bickering seems pretty life-like. Good conclusion

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Car starting seems a little abrubt. Not even a click . It needs more detail

How the piece made me feel: This seems like a day in the life type of piece.. Something learned? Perhaps. Certainly something to laugh at. Maybe it is not as bad as we think

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
996
996
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Certainly not what most folks write about. Interesting assortment of genres with melodrama and adult. Our history really was what you say. You really don't list a time period but I would guess around 1910 or so. Certainly not a glorious time in our past. What were we thinking?

Grammatical and spelling errors:seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* No one writes about this. The things you bring out really are valid and to the point of the era. They basically worked in poverty, not making ends meet but certainly not getting ahead either. Do I believe in your spirited girl? I don't think history necessarily changes that so I would say yes.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Doesn't really make it as melodrama in that melodramas are generally a lot more overdone. No one took them seriously. I don't get that from this. This seems to be written at a child like level with very short explanations and a way of wanting to feel sympathy for the main character.. I think you need to think about who you are writing for. Adults would want more description and more nuances. It seems a little simple.

How the piece made me feel: I would get us more into the spirit of the age. It was dirty, and dangerous. Definitely needed to be reformed. Now kids are abused if the work at Mc Donalds.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
997
997
Review of The Wherewithal  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: You have done a lot in a relative paucity of words. You have created a world of danger that seems dangerous, but really isn't. Very fascinating. (FEAR: False Expectaions appearing Real.) I think it is so in nearly all realms.

Grammatical and spelling errors:Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* You use good active verbs. Eyes are toren away Good use of internal dialogue to express that all the fear and uncertainty might not be real. Ghostly phantoms appear real. there is almost a visceral response to what is going on. It is the essence of fear.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Nothing in wherewithal can hurt you. Unless you let. It is very strong statement. Maybe we need to know where it came from earlier. She is obviously remembering something

How the piece made me feel: We do have to do everything against fear. I think that is why this works for me. Even day-to-day living can be daunting.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

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Michaelfrom Mountains
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In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: This does seem honest. Some of these seem sappy, that I couldn't believe them in a million years. I believbed this one.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* This is playful and honest. Sometimes I wish I had an invisible dog. Certainly a quieter one would be in order. There is a huge amount of things to go through in life. I wish I had them figured out, but do not. Emoticon seems to work as an expression of your thoughts.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Seems to be a bit of Schizophrenia going on here. Love this, hate that. I havae no right to be blue, but you never really resolve the dictomy.

How the piece made me feel: Thanksfullness is a spirtual gift. I don't think you can will it. I like the assignment. It would have challenged me too.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
999
999
Review of Big Joke 11 lines  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I am not sure if I don't totally agree with what you are saying. I am not sure who the joke is or is on though. The sentiments and frustrations are pretty sound

Grammatical and spelling errors:

What I liked? *Smile* We don't reeally respect our political posturing we have endured under sequestration. Why is no one talking about it now. I kind of like the movement to get rid of everyone. I would put in a demand for term limits.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* This is more of a political diatribe than a poem. Imagery really isn't there. Although I agree with the thoughts, I am not really getting the feelings or the images to agree with

How the piece made me feel: Pogo from the 60's has said, "We have met the enemy and he is us." Do we get the leaders we deserve? I think we do. We have had a real hands off approach to managing our government. It has to change.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1000
1000
Review of That Unusual Boy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Requested review.

Overall impression of piece: People are weird. I think it goes for people of all different makes and models. Not a bad lesson to learn in a children's book. Some people accuse me of writing with my feet. I have not the best writing except with a computer.

Grammatical and spelling errors Tad paragraph paragraphing error

What I liked?*Smile* Actually it is stupedous what some of these people can do. Quadraplegics do incredible things that show their senitivity they had early on. This is done in the language of fun and it really is kind of stpid to be afraid of them. Rhyming does add to its readability. Did he have athletes hand/ I wouldn't put that in, but an interesting thought

What I disliked*Idea* Part is rhyme and part isn't, with kind of a different structure. Doesn't seem to read as smoothly

How the piece made me feel Weirdness is a matter of perception and vantage point. I think you brought that out in a way that wasn't preachy. Pretty good job

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
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