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6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
Least Favorite Item Types
long novels
I will not review...
Long novels
Public Reviews
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1101
1101
Review of A Penny  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece M In reviewing this, I would hope a penny for my thoughts would be ok

Overall impression of piece Things have power, as we are able to acknowledge them

Grammatical and spelling errors

What I liked?*Smile* This is definitely magical thinking, unless one buys into the comsic nature of the universe. People are kind of like that. Some will ware the same unifrm for a week. They feel they are not transgressing the good-luck gods

What I disliked*Idea* I guess I am not a fan of magical thinking,. I guess I have a hard time buying into this. I am not sure what "the penny refers to. Did the son pick it up and the other girl find it. Was it so distinctive that rightnerss prevailed?

How the piece made me feel This iss kind of a short story. Characters seem to change little if not at all.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1102
1102
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: There is a lot to like here. It is very well written. I like the attention to detail. I like the earthiness of this without really being pornographic. We are all alot more earthy than we would like to discuss. But here it is, spoken in a way that is matter of fact and not pretentious

Grammatical and spelling errors: A dash is two hyphens--no spaces

What I liked? *Smile* I like the pleasantness of the angel. In all the visitations, the visited were treated with respect. I love the sense of eternal time. I always have been. I always will be. We can know that too, but we look other places. Good sense of the problems of developing foster kids. it is a huge issue in our culture. Most don't know about it. Detail is what makes the piece. You have left very little out. I believe you as an observer.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Gabriel from a religious background would have been a lot more commanding by his/her presence. (Who knows? Probably a moot point) Ancient Isrealites would think to look on an angel would have been to die

How the piece made me feel: Nearly all visitations were to seekers. At least 3 of Jesus followers were John's disciples; my gut tells me they all were. Mary was obviously a devout follower already. Her responses are right out of the old testament. They knew it better than we did. I am sure the good Father had a bunch to talk with her about. Obviously this could be a set up for a part two

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1103
1103
Review of PLAYGROUND  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review


Overall impression of piece: This is beautiful and well done in many ways. I like that y ou attributed your quote to Hammerstein and didn't break your artistic style. Quote is from South Pacific, song Happy Talk I like how you gave people credit for their artistic work

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* I has a nice rhythm to it and the rhyme makes it very readable and almost magical. Bards would rhyme and

What I disliked*Idea* Nothing overt

How the piece made me feel Do we have to follow the path or just be open to what is there. I would suspect the later is probably closer to the truth. I guess there could be dragons in the crevases, but that wouldn't quite seem right.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1104
1104
Review of Born again  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Part of the spritual writing contest. Ruwth has asked for reviews. I am writing a piece for this month, sos turn about will be fair play

Overall impression of piece: This is colorful and it is personal. The day-to-day example shows you really thought about this and what it meant. You are right. He did come at night and he was hiding from the fact that he was talking to jesus, someone the establishment thought of as subversive. Maybe he still is

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* There is an expectant faith in being born again. What Faith Jesus must have had. He would change humanity, forever

What I disliked*Idea* This has some problems. Under Jewish tradition, born again would be applied to Gentiles wanting to convert to Judaisism. Not only would they submit to circumcision, they had to show evidence of a change character--to literally be a different person.. We're missing something here in bearing God's children with the word. I am not sure of that. In Peter's great confession of you are the Christ, Jesus said his Father in Heaven told him. I think we pray and love people into the Kingdom more than we convince them

How the piece made me feel I liked what you said from a WASP point of view here in the 21'st century. I am not sure if it is exactly right. You mean well and your heart is in the right place. There is more here. Are we continually being challenged to be more God-like? Perhaps.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1105
1105
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looking through essays and found this literary great adventure. I am sure a lot of us have had the same thoughts and misgiving. English must be a very hard language to learn. Looked at your bio. I trust your port picture does do justice.

Overall impression of piece: this kind of falls into the nonsense category. Most of the time I think my TV is a little flat.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* I like your choice of topics. Everybody googols everything. If I don't know a word, I just googol it. Fast track to Hell is probably in Arizona, but it is a guess. Wikepedia would probably put it there. I can see why you had an extended list. the list probably could go on forever.

What I disliked*Idea* This is kind of just there. Even nonsense should have a point or at least a concluding thing to say, "We're done here." I am missing that.

How the piece made me feel This is silly. I will remember it as such

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1106
1106
Review of Pardon Me?  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Pulled this up on a random review. It has been awhile since I have reviewed a piece of yours. Obviously not a new piece, but it did get my attention.

Overall impression of piece: You have read this topic rightly and have spoken with clarity and a coming-along side typel. These are highly desirable.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Written in almost a blog like style. It is very informal and I feel pretty real. I can relate to wanting to believe something bad about ourselves. I know you know the Lord. I know a lot of us do. You won't find that in scripture. More like sons and daughters of God, made in him image. We have a family resemblance. Do we stop looking in the mirror, or just forget what we look like?

What I disliked*Idea*: Oprah's guest I assume is Dr Phil. It kind of takes us out of the continuity of the thought of his speaking to us. 70 time 7 is not really a formula. It is probably the biggest number Peter could figure and was said for shock value. If you don't forgive, you won't be forgiven. Ouch!

How the piece made me feel Covered most of this. I like the conclusion. I think that is what it is all about.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1107
1107
Review of Imposter  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review.

Overall impression of piece: This is interesting. It kind of asks the question of who are we, really? I remember veleveteen rabbit saying you don't know if you are loved until y ou are fumpled a bit around the edges. You seem to know the answers. I am 62 and I am not too sure about that one. Poetry always has some holes in it for the reader to make connections, and this has kind of interesting ones.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile*: I think there is a basic innocence that speaks to the deep person of who we are

What I disliked*Idea*: There is also a lot of egocentricity in those early tears saying. What! I can't have it all my own way? My love is not burger king. Maybe a little too simple, but understandable at the age y ou are. Passage of time and stormy eyes are kind of approaching cliche

How the piece made me feel Who we are is a process of a lifetime. Marching orders change and marriages change. It is both frustrating and rewarding.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1108
1108
Review of Three Tokens  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw this is the spiritual newsletter. It certainly is different than most of the other pieces. I like th at.

Overall impression of piece: This is very good and I often do not partake in this genre Manipulations is at all forms in at all levels. Why? Because we can and we like doing it. Honesty takes time and a bunch of hard work. To gets one's way without committment or cost is what man and immortal beings are made of.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile*: I like that she needed proof. Description of the proof scene is evocative and thourough. the conclusion is logical and meets all the criteria of the story line

What I disliked*Idea* Seems to be a jump from being awfully impressed to realizing he is a fink. There has to be some reason why she could believe him. I would put in transition material about Shatan's mystique and perhaps supposed character. I think this is about finding his true character which is phoney. Suddenly she understood is a bit abreviated. I would use more of internal dialogue.

How the piece made me feel There is magic here. There is true love. I hope this did well in the contest. I was impressed.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1109
1109
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Newbie review and I like essays. I hope to be of help

Overall impression of piece Certainly an interesting approach to a powerful problem

Grammatical and spelling errors And is generally spelled out. I am not familiar with Indian Gods, but I would think you have proper names that don't begin with a capital. Women constitutes a more improtant role would be better.

What I liked?*Smile* You apparently have a unique view point. It would be really helpful to know more about you.

What I disliked*Idea* Some of the do's and don't of Indian society would not be appreciable to a Westerner. I am at a loss how women are all a goddess. More explanation would be inorder.

How the piece made me feel I think we form society and society forms us. Both people and societies have demands

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1110
1110
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. I h ave some military experience and have been a toastmaster for 25 years.

Overall impression of piece There are the great fears and fear of public speaking is right up there around the fear of death

Grammatical and spelling errors Thoughts should be italics, not quotes.

What I liked?*Smile* The hands on things are easiest to deal with because you just do them--or die. Having a naked audience goes way back until at least the 50's when Bennett Cerf made it famous. Lots of people copied him. We are supposed to contemplate our audience. What are they thinking, not necessarily why aren't they wearing clothes.

What I disliked*Idea* Moses was a corporal. Doesn't make sense. I don't think the biblical Moses ever was a corporal. PS doesn't really fit into the piece

How the piece made me feel Confidence comes from dong something. No doing equals no confidence. For some it just takes longer.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1111
1111
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. Thought I might be able to add something

Overall impression of piece I can't say you chose the wrong ones. They are the ones that spoke to you. I too identify with a lot of these

Grammatical and spelling errors> How can quotes not be correct? I could sue the author I suppose.

What I liked?*Smile* Very good choices. I know the feeling of angels wispering for what to write. I often wont write unless I feel impelled to

What I disliked*Idea* Enjoying the music one doesn't have an author. I have heard mister annonymous wrote a lot of these. What do these mean to you? Why did you put them here. Did you know that you can google almost any of these and they will come up? do you have a favorite site to look at?

How the piece made me feel I felt a bond with you reading them. They were food for thought. Some musicians have felt their work dictated by angels, like the Halleleujah Chorus. It was written in a very short period of time

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1112
1112
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like essays. I like poetic writing in essays. This was a pretty cool piece in your description of a hot summer's day

Overall impression of piece: There are sights and sounds and smells. You have kind of played with all our senses. Why not summer? We kind of forget. It sometimes is easier to complain about the weather than just be a part of it. We can't change it. It just is. Older people kind of forget sometimes.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Barely-there needs a hyphen. It would make it much easier to read besides being correct. Use your word processor for two spaces after a period. Kind of jammed together in places.

What I liked?*Smile* This is tactile in its apprach to description. Air is heavy. I get that somewhat. I lived in the midwest for a time. Of course it is a time to slow down. You don't do a lot in a hurry when it is 95 degrees and 95% humidity. Tomorrow up in the Idaho desert it will be 108 but I will be out all day as a volunteer. I will be more comfortable than in the south

What I disliked*Idea* This is a poem to get us to remember. I get that. I think you have accomplished that. In some ways it is more prose than an essay. Most of my issues are grammatical

How the piece made me feel Pretty much covered. Thanks for sharing.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1113
1113
Review of hope  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Interesting mix of imagery. Christian tradition says that hope is something we can be assured of. Our society says' Hope for something." Chbristian faith says I have the assurity of hope

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked? *Smile* I have never heard images like castles in a catacomb or a dark castle. We trust what we can't necessarily see, but klnow it is there. I buy that.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Maybe images are a bit too much. A candle in the catacombs burning hotter than the sun. That must be some candle. Talking to his disciples on the road to Emmaus we get, Didn't our hearts burn inside us when we talked to him. Image is possible, but needs more to bring it out. Kind of goes from a descriptive to an imperative don't give in. Probably needs same voice throughout.

How the piece made me feel: Partially a little over the top in terms of over worked imagery. Doesn't quite seem realistic

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1114
1114
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I like essays. I like ecology. I have stuff on my port.

Grammatical and spelling errors: WMD i figured out. Generally the first use is spelled out,

What I liked? *Smile* Pretty good conclusion. I think the steps you describe will happen

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought*: There is a lot more going on than you talk of. Part of current woes is lack of distribution. You have a lot of interesting speculation that I imagine is based on something. Definitely need a reference. What gives things relevance are some sort of numbers to back this up. Kind of what you are talking about is a type of eugenics. Who decides who will breed?

How the piece made me feel: Not really a feeling kind of piece. I am not sure what is your speculation and what is really possible and feasible

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting:

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1115
1115
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. Definitely out of the ordinary for me

Overall impression of piece: Interesting premise. I assume Milo is a rabbit, but you never say. Obviously there are things and people that are different in the Shadow Realm. I can accept the premise


Grammatical and spelling errors Paragraphing error between first and second paragraph.

What I liked?*Smile* What do we do with wayward rabbits who irritate irate dragons? It definitely is something to get burned up about. Obviously there are parameters of the story we are not aware of as a reader. Little girls can be the more adventurous. I like how you outline the parameters of the magic simply and to the point. There is a twist at the end with the fire-breathing butterfly. Who knew?

What I disliked*Idea* Should call Milo a rabbit if possible. Everyone else is identified.

How the piece made me feel Pretty good story telling

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1116
1116
Review of Homeless  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: This is awfully good and deals with a part of life that few of us know anything about. Picture really fits the piece. I think it augments your message well

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* Rhyme and rhythm makes this very readable. Rhyme for the most part is not forced and the message is exempliary. Who knows what will happen. Mental illness is one of the leading causes of hospital admission. Many ended on the streets during Reagan tax cuts.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Kind of slipped into telling us how we should feel in last couple of stanzas. I think it would be most effective to get us to the same feeling looking through the eyes of a homeless man. This isn't a generality. it is a real person.

How the piece made me feel: You have done well. You put your format out and taught us. Who knows what the ghosts on the street can tell us about our own future.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1117
1117
Review of Memoirs  Open in new Window.
for entry "The Gift" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I like family pieces. Ina very real way they help define who we are. I think a true gift is what we need and desire the most. I think this one indeed fit the bill. We have parkeets at our zoo. As a volunteer there, I know by ecology that we are a part of the birds flock and they are i ndeed very sensitive. One neurotic bird can do terrible damage to themself

Grammatical and spelling errors: Together I and Mommy is a subject. Me as an object

What I liked? *Smile*: Use of first person gives this the personal air of reporting. it helps describe the emotional connection. Of course, teens are egocentric. We have a descriptions for that and it is called normal.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* You give us a taste of what life with Petie is like and that part is good. It seems like you kind of switch to the history is an abrupt manner without any transition. You start in passive voice. It would be better to keep active voice (in mind mind) and put in more of an air of recollection.

How the piece made me feel: This did give me some of the same pleasures in reading as you got in writing. I think we can experience others feelings.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1118
1118
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like nonfiction. I write a lot of it so I read that too. I like reviewing. Nothing like pressure to read an article on reviewing. I hope I do it right.

Overall impression of piece: There is a lot of good here. In terms of a general summary, most of the component parts are here. Cut grammarians a break perhaps; just because they nitpick you to death, doesn't mean that they aren't valuable. My wife is a grammarian and though her reviews have been known to give me apoplexy, they do have a purpose.

Grammatical and spelling errors Start of your grammarian quote as a different quote mark than then end of the quote

What I liked?*Smile*: This is written with honesty and reality both. It is a unique piece. I really like finding the good part and concentrating on that. If it really is bad with no redeeming social value(and I know them well--don't review them) They are perhaps beyond hope. I make an exception for people who are not native speakers. Than it is to encourage, not drag them through the mud. I like how you speak to how to interpret a review. Very little has been written on that and it is absolujtely a vital topic. So they don't like you? So What? The Power of Positive Thinking had 40 rejections and was thrown in the trash by the author. I like the idea of having someelse review. For a thousand gps, you can buy a review., I think most would give it to you from the generosity of their heart. All these people who make up the reviewing core are really a diverse lot. I tend to choose only registered authors. I think if you can't affort 19.95 for a subsciption or choose to review, perhaps you aren't serious.

What I disliked*Idea* Could probably use some more formatting to set parts as distinct. Abbreviating com is a little over the top. Perhaps some links to go to review sites. A little education goes a long way

How the piece made me feel I think we are kind of kindred spirits when it comes to reviews. Reviewing is part of the life blood of the site. I have a piece on this in my writing.com section

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1119
1119
Review of Youtube  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like Youtube. I see a lot of Pianoguys on there. It definitely is a phenomenon in our culture. I have learned magic tricks. I have been married for 39 years, so a new girlfriend really would not be helpful


Overall impression of piece: This is pertinent and topical. It is hard to do that in a fast changing world. Youtube will be around for a long time

Grammatical and spelling errors: Youtube is a proper name. I would think underlining would be in order. On the web, they bold it. ;P I have no idea what that is about.

What I liked?*Smile* You have given kind of a thumbnail view of a complicated phenomenon. Pretty interrsting stuff. Good conclusion. I would look up TED talks. They will blow your mind.

What I disliked*Idea* Last sentence is kind of rambly. I am sure they would like to hear your reactions would do the same thing. (You havae to google to do that. All your abreviations are becoming common place, but not quite yet. Psy in gangan style. You lost me there. Don't know who Usher is.

How the piece made me feel You may be writing for a culture that is tied to you but is not universal yet. Write out a bio. It really helps us as reviewers.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1120
1120
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I am a non-fiction writer, so I like to read the stuff too.

Overall impression of piece I have fought the 21'st century kicking and screaming, but have had to cave in. Yes. I do own a cell phone. What I notices is with all these cell phones and communicatation, no one communicates. Textin g is one way. Really!

Grammatical and spelling errors Merrium Webster dictionary is a book title

What I liked?*Smile* This is personal and gives a pretty good look at what we think and do today. I don't have lelectronic devices, but I google spelling pretty routinely. It is very fast.

What I disliked*Idea* This suffers from lack of formatting. I realize you might have formatted in Word, but WDC makes you format using their system. Your number system should be bolded. Maybe your scoring could use that too. This kind of wanders around a bit and I am never really sure what the main point is and how you have resolved things. Even if there is no resolution, you need to delve there.

How the piece made me feel You will get used to the formatting features. It is a pull down menu and if you play with it, it is really pretty easy

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1121
1121
Review of A Moment In Time  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:Nice piece, especially for a teaching site. I like how ytou put the mechanics of the poem in and talked of the devices you used. I think the inspiration is good, but kind of unneeded. Again, I think it is good for the site.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* Is time a tyrant? I am not sure. I know it marches on seemingly without me or my imput. Poem reads well and has a nice rhythm to it. How do we measure our life? I am not sure it is about time but it certainly is all anyone can talk about. Are there implications in time. Maybe yes and maybe no. Life well lived seems to have the most dynamic effect.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Can't think of anything.

How the piece made me feel: I like that truth has the last say. I think that measures into anyones spiritual makeup. Christians say, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set y ou free. Some really don't want that.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1122
1122
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: This is quite clever. You have encorporated elements of an old story and implicated in 100 words that all was not over and good indeed could be triumphed over evil

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* Even for a hundred words you have enough detail to suggest an observer of events

What I disliked*Idea* I have returned seems kind of like MacAurthur coming back to the Phillipines. Being retaken by evil doesn't seem to be the stuff that legends are made of.

How the piece made me feel I don't really have a purpose for this being written . Suspect a contest piece.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1123
1123
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review.

Overall impression of piece I kind of like the format. It has the couplet on the end which gives a lot of closure

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact. Reads pretty well

What I liked?*Smile* Who can't identify with the feelings of this. I would fish, even though I am not sure what I wou ld do if I caught something. There is something in being back in the formation of origin al roots that is calming.

What I disliked*Idea* Picture probably was taken off. I would edit for that. Conflict of the verse of these days seems a little up in the air. I am not 100% sure what you mean. If life and mercenary the same person? I would guess it is.

How the piece made me feel Universal thoughts and feelings in a classical form

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1124
1124
Review of Warping  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Part of the spiritual newsletter. I like to read and review. I don't think I have reviewed you before. I read your bio and I think we are interested in a lot of the same thing.

Overall impression of piece: Here we are in your piece in a thousand would be could be years.. That is hard to do in a poem and you have done reasonably well

Grammatical and spelling errors seems ok. Reads well

What I liked?*Smile* What is perception at light speed? I think it would be different and you have captured that. I like the switch to first person in the second stanza

What I disliked*Idea*> Warping is kind of a double meaning word. I think it might have been first used on Star Trek, but am unsure. I go all the way back to James T Kirks original Enterprise. Warping is also a weaving term. Images don't quite seem crisp enough to me. I think you could be more of a star traveller if you put yourself in the right place. Fumigate has to do with vermin and chemicals. I don't quite see it

How the piece made me feel We need to identify with you and your journey. I am not sure if I quite do.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1125
1125
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I bookmarked this piece long ago and have been waiting to review it. I keep them on a list.

Overall impression of piece: this shows talent and definite sensitivity. I think you are teaching some very relevant spirtual truths in a way that is not preachy. It is a definte gift that should not be left unexpressed.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* The storm we are going through is never completely about one thing. If we didn't have storms, we would never grow and have nothing to move on towards someone else. This is written with a femine touch and definitely would appeal that way more. I think what folks want in a crisis in normalacy and that is good. Kids just want to be kids. I think adults do too.

What I disliked*Idea* The tie in between the verses and the story line isn't real strong. You have repeated one of them and I am not sure if I see the reason. Either tie them in better, or leave them as footnotes. You are right about writing them out. People don't read them otherwise.

How the piece made me feel The ability to pray with others shows spiritual maturity. I would think about bringing that in earlier, even with its doubts.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
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