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6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
Least Favorite Item Types
long novels
I will not review...
Long novels
Public Reviews
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1176
1176
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like nonfiction. I like formats like this. I can see from your bio why you might be in to this

Overall impression of piece> You have been well taught. Your format is impeccable. You have the more important things first, letting an editor be able to cut off the bottom. In my day, we used to use scissors so we really did cut.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Very good.

What I liked?*Smile* This is a clear concise rendition of an age old problem that has been such for at least 4 decades. Your solutions are good, as far as they go

What I disliked*Idea* You really don't give any reasonable alternatives. I think you need to ask bookstores why they run out of books. I think most will comment, especially if you quote the were unable to comment, What are the alternatives to getting this stuff. Many of the classics are downloadable on line. Amazon .com is pretty good if you expeditie shipping. Remeber your audience. What do they want to know,

How the piece made me feel This is what this type of article looks like. In terms of putting it in a dossier, I would thing writing in terms of what your reader wants to know. My wife rented a book for about 1/4 of the cost of buying it.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1177
1177
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. Newbie review

Overall impression of piece: This is an interesting format. It is kind of a poetic rant. I am not sure if I can disagree. The truth is that we don't handle the poor well in this country and this land of inlimited opportunity is reallyh quite limited compared to others. Do Americas buy into the myth. Yes they do. Than someone with a really foreign sounding name puts up this rant and we really don't have a way to judge what you are saying

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* This is a very necessary topic that few address. This is perhaps not the best format to do this in. Ancestors were Indains. I would not have guessed. Fill in a bio. We have authors from all over.

What I disliked*Idea* Poetry written on bunks of immigrants to Angel Island sounds more like the poetry of people seeking freedom than those of this country. This is really a rant with very little of pictures to hold on to to show your message. If you are going to rant, say why and show the picture of poor in America. You do have a story

How the piece made me feel Fill in your bio. It is very hard to to review someone if you know nothing about them

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1178
1178
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Admiration for your style. Trolling essays and found this. I think you know I am passionate about this and wanted to know what you thought on the subject

Overall impression of piece It seems that your reasons for doing the reviewing are predominantly relational. You do a great job and I have to say there is nothing to argue about here.. A lot of folks are motivated by the same things. I was asked to join SAJ by a member who no longer is with the group. I think some kindness is a part of a review. Who puts their work on the line to have it pulverized? Not my idea of fun

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems perfect.

What I liked?*Smile* This is methodical and well written. There is no doubt in my mind why you think how you do. The proof of sincerity is in the reviewing work and you are one of the best.

What I disliked*Idea* I can't say if I didn't review--and you are speaking to the choir here--you would convince me that is a good thing to do. If your deal is all social, I would pump that up even more. I personally see benefits in learning some other ways to look at things and when I critique someone else, I have to look at my own and think: do I do that? I think in our heart we know what is good and what is not. I like community too. I love pieces that aren't getting reviewed, especially if I can bolster them up

How the piece made me feel I forgot the prompt for this. Actually I thought it was over. You are the heart and soul of the group. Your impact is enormous

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1179
1179
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: This is pretty poetic. Not all the lines are necessarily filled in, but we have enoughof them to fill in the story. You are absolutely right. Love is the bond and not genetics. My daughters first child was out of wedlock and the current father knows and has no doubt that he is the Father, eventhough he knows biologically that he is not.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* This is personal and it is real. I think it makes good use of the love that binds us and the other considerations that aren't as important. We pay health insurance for a daughter, so we know how this works

What I disliked*Idea* I think there is a framework for this that is not apparent. Maybe there was a blog or a contest or something. Writing down a little prequil where this comes from might be in order. Stories.com goes back quite a ways. We are all unwritten poems. Many think poetically and never right them down. They will tell you they can't write poetry. A lot of times I write their story

How the piece made me feel Immortality is always in the air. it is the life blood of the universe. Beauty is what we make of it. I write down ideas for poetry in the middle of the night, to write them latter.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1180
1180
Review of His Fate  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece this reads well Rhymes are not such that they seem strained.

Grammatical and spelling errors

What I liked?*Smile* I think your ideas are pretty universal and are easy to identify with. Making it more readable definitely helps bring the message across./

What I disliked*Idea* Pit of despair and head burried in the sand are borderline cliche. They seem to work as what you are describing is kind of ubiquitous.

How the piece made me feel I am not sure why we are so convinced of no help, when we don't ask. Might be part of the human experience. Do we wait for death before we ask for help. It is called a will

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1181
1181
Review of Swing Dance  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: There is an awful lot here for such a short piece. I am not sure whether to evaluate as a poem or a piece of prose. There are definitely elements of both here. It was good you had your sentence in the intro. It helped keep me a bit grounded as a reader.

Grammatical and spelling errors:

What I liked? *Smile* the whole human race has a history of dance. There were the wild dances of the middle ages where people danced to exhaustian. Martin Luther danced, although not in church. Your imagery is toop knotch and makes me think and question. We have masons of the past in our culture. Should we stay the same as 1776. Lincoln said no.. Social problems out of war and slaughter. It took a long time to move beyond some of that here in the us. Almost every ethnic group brought their music to this country and their dance.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I am kind of lost how this all fits together. I am not sure I identify with the narrator and his point of view. I would make them more personable and involved. More background and developement is needed to make us know exactly what you want us to get out of this.

How the piece made me feel: New declaration of independence by stepping on our heels. Fascinating imagery. We know who is leading in our country, and we don't like it.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1182
1182
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece Talk about a view from the front lines. The facts are well known,l but you hae gien us some idea what they mean

Grammatical and spelling errors: Spelling does count. Dont want to be a downer, but contractions need the appostrophe. Generation is mispelled. Numbers like 60 are generallu spelled out

What I liked?*Smile* I can not doubt that you are sincere and honest. I can not doubt that you care and we should too. Are their suicides in your school? How did that make people feel?

What I disliked*Idea* If you use statistics, you hae to say where they come from unless you are an acknowedged expert. We don't know what is is like to be you, so don't be afraid to give details. What should we do? Do kids say there parents don't care? I know they say they are mettling but sometimes that isn't a bad thing.

How the piece made me feel Good start. Definitely a unique point of iew to something that is definitely a problem. Most of your school violence are from kids that don't fit in.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1183
1183
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Anything has to be better than the usual ditty we put kids to sleep with. Not much room for hope and joy within that one

Grammatical and spelling errors:

What I liked? *Smile* First verse is probably the best. It has nice tight rhythm and rhyme. I think we are marked as Christs by the blood and only certain amounts of terror can come are way. Pretty good last verse. Gives hope and good assurance.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I kind of see this aimed a little higher than a kids thing. Most don't think about spirtual warfare. My grandson thinks trucks. Angels fighting I am not sure of. I like the part of being on guard. There are numerous accounts of peole seeing folks that weren't there. I am not sure if they fight demons or just evil men. I am not sure if God wins all battles. Those under persecution don't necessarily fell that way. War always goes to the Lord, but not necessarily battles

How the piece made me feel: If you are going children, you need to give them more reassurance that life and the Lord is in charge. It is sorely needed and I think you have the tools. Neat biography

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1184
1184
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: If I say this bites, I am not sure if you would say I am missing the point. I can tell the story from a very simplified form and put in the details as is the perogative of poetry

Grammatical and spelling errors:Reads ok

What I liked? *Smile* I can see most of this. In the animal world, tortoises are almost impossible to know how long they lived. It might be as long as 250 years. No one lives that long and as a human race, we just don't pay attention.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Never really tell what the legend of the bite is. You do refer to it. It works sort of in that it is a legend. I kind of need a little more to go on. A lot of fight and bite rhymes are kind of repetitive.

How the piece made me feel: Vampires as urban legend. Sure, why not. I think it needs more detail. Maybe the wrong format.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1185
1185
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. I am in tune with health care issues and feel what it is like to be poor.

Overall impression of piece: In a classical sense, there are genuine sentiments of frustration when we don't feel good and are being bankrupt by our systems. No one says anything, because it is at least tolerable to most. World wide, we rank 37'th in the world

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads well

What I liked?*Smile* Formatiing makes this story poem easier to read. You might switch the colors as the poor person is in the red, so to speak. This is a complex problem with a lot of irony which you have caught here.

What I disliked*Idea*: If you don't have insurance, you aren't seen. So we end up sending them to the ER which is high cost and not very effective. They are not set up for this. One free clinic works once per week and we are lucky to have that. The tone is kind of Victorian and English poor. It kind of takes away from the reality of what it is to be poor today and sick

How the piece made me feel I am an essay writer. I don't have one on this, but I have read a lot. I feel that maybe yours will be read and mine, not so much

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1186
1186
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review.

Overall impression of piece: Sure. Why not? A polical poem

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* People will read this. It is kind of a 30 second infomercial in rhyming quatrains.. They don't really want to listen to much more complex things. Rhymes are not forced and flow pretty easy. I realize there is an issue. I realize it is more complex than most think

What I disliked*Idea* Maybe this isn't mainstream for most people. Maybe the poetic form doesn't work as well as if you explain the variables. I can't say it would change my view, which is largely unformed

How the piece made me feel I think both sides stink at saving the private purse. Recently things have mushroomed under democratic, but I am not sure if rebuplicans have any clear idea what to do. Maybe you need some url's to append to help folks get to the nitty gritty if interested. Our churches finance voluntary church education at our public schools in a program called Launchpad

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1187
1187
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looking through awarded pieces. Have reviewed some of these before and have been impressed

Overall impression of piece Now this is funny. I think you are taking a universal activity and thoughts and feels that almost everyone has.. We are similar vintage so I get the death things and the twelve burritos thing too. Life is not for wimps and 4 am is a good time to walk right into your inscurities.

Grammatical and spelling errors Your quotes not being indented looks odd. I probably would not indent any of the lines. You end up with two formats.

What I liked?*Smile* Who knows what evil lurks in the darkness. They did a fear things like that in the 40's. We are better lighted now with less shadows. I think you are right. Some folks want to be scarred. If you want to be scarred, an old isolated building is a good bet. Every neighbornood has its peculiarities

What I disliked*Idea* I wouldn't change anything

How the piece made me feel This has a down home appeal to it that makes me think of Patrick McManus. He too writes of simple things and has been quite effective.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1188
1188
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece newbie review. Welcome to WDC

Overall impression of piece: I would guess India is where you are from with the qote from a past President. Let us know more about you so we can help you more. You have a lot of good facts and right thinking. I can't dispute that. You are assuming that everyone should make positive choices because it is the rational thing to do. It is, without a doubt.

Grammatical and spelling errors president of India,... needs a comma as an appositive. Your row of dots don't really format and are not a grammatical device. There is a whole list of things you can drop down and use like underlining
bolding and others. These are really pretty easy
What I liked?*Smile* There is nothing wrong with y our ideas. They our sound and logically put forth

What I disliked*Idea* The ideas are kind of preachy. I would say you are a true believer in what you say, but to get others to go along with you, they have to want to. You need more of an emotional basis for what you say. Some of what you say is not fleshed out. The mind game and how not to get down about things not going well should be brought out more.

How the piece made me feel Pretty well written. I am not sure if you have done enough to make it stand out.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1189
1189
Review of The Big One  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Cruising essays and this caught my eye. Welcome to WDC

Overall impression of piece: This has a lot of good things in it. I like the attention to detail

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* There is a lot of visceral detail about how the lad responded to being tried by the fish. Letting him go surprised me. It would seem he would want a trophy?

What I disliked*Idea* Splash seems to come out of nowhere and than he is on the beach without any spashing. Didn't really answer the question of why this story? Why did it need to be told. Old Man and the Sea is a Fish story, but we are given more to know what is going on.

How the piece made me feel Definitely fishy. Don't go too fast not to develope a point to this.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1190
1190
Review of May Angels Watch  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Part of the spiritual newsletter.

Overall impression of piece It has kind of a classical ring to it. The rhyme scheme makes me think of the traditional Irish blessing

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* This is certainly written in the tenor of a traditional Irish blessing. May the wind always be at your back. I think there is a universal longing to find ourselves with loved ones in the after life, but I doubt if that will happen.

What I disliked*Idea* Nature's cure seems a little off. Sometimes nature's only real cure is death, which isn't always bad. I am not sure if anyone can keep someone else's memmories.

How the piece made me feel Nice to see an anthology winner. It has a lot of classic elements to it.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1191
1191
Review of Blessed Be  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece It is amzing how similar are world views can be. If I recall, it is not Christian, but those things that are true kind of fit into each and every framework

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* Love's phoenix. Love is always being built out of the ashes. Love tends to need to rebuild at times. Christians are taught to seek to. He who overcomes, I will give permision to eat from the tree of life. Like I say , we are not so very different.

What I disliked*Idea*: Can't think of anything

How the piece made me feel Yes, we do have to share. I am afraid my Christian friends think they have to beat you to death with their faith. Faith is personal. It can only be spread in personal ways

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1192
1192
Review of FOREVER  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Spiritual newsletter reviews. I like this kind of stuff.

Overall impression of piece: This is a unique aggegation of thought. I was laid off of my career as a trained observer in a medical lab. I can understand where you are coming from from looking at your bio. It gives me hope how froucused you are and love the determination. I am 6 years older

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* We all like to think we are unbiased and are perfect watchers. It is not part of the human condition. This seems to have elements of the voyager satellite. Who knows? Perhaps they talked. I think we all want to talk to our creator, whether human or not. I think of Hal from 2001. This is a very interesting perspective. You write with the eye of a poet, which to me is a great compliment

What I disliked*Idea*: It took me a bit to geth into your sci fi premise. I would make it earlier and stronger. It is in the writing , but a bit of back story probably would make it more readable.

How the piece made me feel If a machine can have faith, anythng or one can. I think faith is an outgrowth of experience, not necessarily what you have been told.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1193
1193
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I was looking through history stuff as I have a new history piece. I almost passed this by, but I really kind of like it. We have a similar vintage and even our pictures would probably be about the same. I haven't posted mine, but I love your portrait. It is so you.

Overall impression of piece: This has a matter-of fact style. It is not pretentious. It just is. Suicide off a covered bridge. Certainly would be a joke. I think we could be closer in those bygonne eras. Cell phones don't build bridges. Most cell phone calls seem to be I am bored and don't have anything to do. Older times, all that was there was to talk to each other.

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact. Very essay like

What I liked?*Smile* I have to admit, being carried away together in a flood is certainly grounds for togetherness. Why are people on the back roads today? They are loners and don't have anything else to do. They commune with whatever they have. I realize folks do get a lot out of that. Being by self is often the only way to communicate. It really doesn't give you community or purpose

What I disliked*Idea* I wouldn't change anything

How the piece made me feel I had to smile reading this. I think we are all trying to get back to the feeling of my little town, but those days have passed me by. Now are vehicles have guns. It is down right dangerous. This could have been as essay and perhaps added more detail. I got a lot out of reading this.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1194
1194
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looking through historical things as I am a nut about this stuff. I have a new p;iece on JFK. That is another time when time stood still for all of us

Overall impression of piece: How do you describe a train wreck? Certainly you go the part of it was bad. I saw all those things watching the 6 oclock news aand wondering, here we go again.

Grammatical and spelling errors Looks ok

What I liked?*Smile* White smoke and look is an interesting rhyme. Subtle but effective. Definitely one of those infamous days that will stay on our national psyche.

What I disliked*Idea* This is a visceral event I think and you kind of gave us the 6 oclcock news version. You kind of leave the emotions out of it. There is confusion would be better described. Confused faces run in all directions. Rescuers race death. I think there is more going on here.

How the piece made me feel I guess I had to wonder how I did feel. The poem didn't give me any direction. It was newsworth, but we need help in processing

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1195
1195
Review of Bang  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review button

Overall impression of piece: You have caught the universe in words and meaning, if not entirely in form. Hey it is a poem. I get that

Grammatical and spelling errors

What I liked?*Smile*The theory is that the universe will expand and eventually reach a point where it will contract on itself. Your increasing lines kind of portray that. There is a bit of that form in your framework. You have portrayed something bigger than words and indeed humanity itelf. Pretty good job.

What I disliked*Idea* Three verses in the middle are all kind of the same length. Unless you are using a specific format, I would increase them. Last line maybe eternity expanding by the second

How the piece made me feel Pretty much covered. Thanks for sharing

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1196
1196
Review of Blur The Future  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: This is interesting I am surprised it hasn't had more reviews. I think most people get enough of spirital things to be innoculated from the real thing. The number one evidence of Christ is changed men, but it is such a bother, that we don't

Grammatical and spelling errors: Aggrivated is aggravating

What I liked?*Smile* Stuff at reast tends to stay at rest. it is a law of physics. I think there are spiritual laws too. It takes allowing spiritual energy to workwithin you to change. it is a tremendous hasstle. I truly agree that we prefer complacent and aggravated because there is no responsibility there

What I disliked*Idea* I can't really know the them to whom you are writing. I think this is to a very specific group, but I am not sure who it is. Because of this, the message is somewhat muttled

How the piece made me feel I read your bio and your port intro and am at a loss on how to respond to you. You could give us a little more. There's good stuff here. The overall message is a little hard to get for me.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1197
1197
Review of Simply Rain  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: There are differing translations of rain. In the desert, we don't get much. the translation of torrential rain here is it rained. We all try to put some other meaning on it. There are storms in life. I think it is what gives us life and hope

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact. Reads well

What I liked? *Smile* This kind of has a rhythm to it. The rhyme really helps that. I think the rainbow is God's way of saying, He is not done with us yet. It is a sign for a battered world that he is still there and life will go on

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Can't think of anything to change

How the piece made me feel: There is a cycle to life, even in the desert. A lot of our rain comes in a 3 month period. Most living here would comit suicide in a real rainy area.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1198
1198
Review of Lynn McKay Ch 12  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: This piece lives and breathes detail. It is what makes it good. I believe the account because of the detail present..

Grammatical and spelling errors Wrong elicit. Yours is illegal. but not understanding the words is part of a compound sentence. Second part has no verb. Could not understand would be better. Starting with a conjenction really doesn't add anything. I would drop it

What I liked?*Smile* Adding the understanding gained and the first person makes this very personal. Kind of remin iscent of Walton's mtn, but we all didn't grow up there. The tactics are pretty well portrayed for age. They can't physically fight back, but are far from defenseless. There is a bit of a poet in the girl looking out the window. I think that is very real. Kind of give some foreshadowing of what is to come

What I disliked*Idea* Mooooom seems kind of retarded. I would multiply the m's. Buttons seems like an adult construct. There might be another way of saying it.

How the piece made me feel I bought this. That is good writing. Pretty good piece.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1199
1199
Review of Seek and Destroy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. I like military history

Overall impression of piece One of the more horrifying things of Vietnam. You definitely have the short form of what they found in those tunnels. I can't imagine doing what they did, with that kind of courage and fortitude/

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads ok, but punctuation might help. These are pretty complex ideas.

What I liked?*Smile* It seems that the shortest guys had to be the bravest. that is not generally what we think is going on. The caves were vial. They were boobytrapped. They were death waiting to happen

What I disliked*Idea* I am not sure if poetry is the best format for this. You have a lot of detail and I found myself wanting more

How the piece made me feel Most do not know about this. There was courage in unlikely places.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1200
1200
Rated: E | (4.0)
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