\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/frontierman/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/44
Review Requests: OFF
6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
Least Favorite Item Types
long novels
I will not review...
Long novels
Public Reviews
<    ...  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  47  48  49  ...   >
1076
1076
Review of Captains' orders  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with RAOK Upgrade Brigade Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)


Why I chose this piece Roak challenge. Review request. Love this vintage of history

Overall impression of piece: This certainly puts on the period of history of which you speak. It is a call to the corageous

Grammatical and spelling errors: Heist seems to mean steal. do you mean hoist? Maybe a comma after sails, It actually reads pretty well without any punctuation.

What I liked?*Smile* Canons do scream. there certainly is anger there. This was certainly not a land for the timid and weak at heart. Fair winds and folling seas is nice alliteration and a useful saying for the time
What I disliked*Idea* Glow of red I assume means dawn. Maybe it would be better to say that.

How the piece made me feel This is kind of a period piece. I think it largely works

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1077
1077
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece SAw this is essays and like this sort of things.

Overall impression of piece: Christianity was intially called The Way, because it was what you did. Good character study of what it really means.

Grammatical and spelling errors: that first paragraph is missing a capital

What I liked?*Smile* All the stuff you are talking about is in scripture. We look at the social gospel and figure this doesn't apply to us. Introoductory paragraph

What I disliked*Idea*: Scene isn't all there. Who are you? How do you know how much an E3 makes and how much to replace. I would assume you were a sailor and other in your party were too. Who were these people who contributed? Were they Christians or someone responding to someone doing the right thing? There is a lot more to the story. I spent time in the Navy. I know how tight they can be.

I would tend to let the story talk for you. Some of your comments in the first paragraph really don't add much unless taken in context with the story

How the piece made me feel How do we produce a life that is so compelling that God's message has no choice but to get out? I think that is why it grew like wild fire initially. Today, we talk about it and don't do it.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1078
1078
Review of Never Got Away  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Interesting trip. You have a fair amount of good descriptive stuff here.

Grammatical and spelling errors: two spaces after a period.

What I liked? *Smile* I think there are things under heaven and earth that are more than our petty philospohies can detect. (Hamlet.) There is a good model here. Is there a horrible side of men? I would think so. At least you seem to make this work

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Too many H's here. Talking about yourself in the third person is really not effective. Most horror is personal. Kind of wordy in places. "H decided to go out early the following morning after scrutinising the bruises on his neck anxiously in his bathroom mirror." He anxiously looked at the bruises from last night in the mirror. " ####, he thought, It wasn't a dream." No reason this has to be E for everyone.


How the piece made me feel: The question I have at the end is did I buy this? Did someone personally see it with every last nuance of detail? I would say, not quite. Seeing himself in an evil form twice I would think would perk up more apprehension and fear. Follow someone into a tree? I am not sure of that one. Again, more reaction to the situation like, I have to find out what is going on.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1079
1079
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Someone who thinks. I like this already. I don't agree with everything, but that can't be the main point.

Overall impression of piece Inquiry is a vast state of mind. We have lost the ability to do this and I think it is very detrimental to us

Grammatical and spelling errors: Prospective I think should be perspective. Raises in last line is not a poessessive. At the very least not lest.. Fifty generally is spelled out.

What I liked?*Smile* You have a lot of good questions. Why is it hard to see things like they really are. Most folks are tied to the idea that we've always done things this way

What I disliked*Idea* Good and evil is a matter of persective is hard to take, Isn't there a true north where we need to be headed? Hitler was evil. I am sure 98% of people would agree with that. Good is more complicated. There are certain things that can be agreed on by all. Can Muslims do good? I think so,. even if I don't agree . You have a call to see ourselves as we really are. That goes back a long ways. Socrates says, the unexamined life isn't worth living. We do have a tendency towards being evil and self serving. You speak in a lost of general language that really asks for examples

How the piece made me feel I think you know more than what you have told us. If y ou can't answer some of your deep questions, at least give parameters how they might be answered. There are grammar courses on line with Horizon's Academy

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1080
1080
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Again I bookmarked this one for later review

Overall impression of piece: You have got this in your own style which is personal and human. It is an unusual gift

Grammatical and spelling errors: Lost in a crowd needs a period

What I liked?*Smile* An interesting rendition of a well known story. I think the conclusion is very telling. He was kind of the Ass end of jokes and ridicule. Rhyme is clever and makes this an emminently readable piece.

What I disliked*Idea* Used by God as a whore seems a little out of place. I never get that feeling from reading the story. Paranoia yes. Meglomania yes. Victim--I don't think so. He was the King and he made everyone remember that.

How the piece made me feel This is great for people who are well versed in the story already. Putting a bible reference to read the story might be very fitting. Good and unusual conclusions.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1081
1081
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Perusing pieces and bookmarked it for later reading. It is always a pleasure to read your work

Overall impression of piece

Grammatical and spelling errors: this doesn't need a capital. When God is all I got, needs a comma.
In the warehouse where I work, needs a comma.

What I liked?*Smile* You have some great comments here. I like not being led into temptation. Having lost a career and living frugally, I am sometimes bitten by the bug. Definitely a topical piece. Boston and consumeriswm definitely hits home.

What I disliked*Idea* The voice I am not familiar with. I think myself to be widely read, but not this one. I recently picked up a Jewish bible. It is written with translations that would be meaningful to a Messianic Jew. You refer to the verse in James and I am pretty familiar. You never really say what the verse is.

How the piece made me feel I have understanding so I get what y ou are saying. Most are not well versed and need help. Almost no one looks up verses. I like this. It is personal and real.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1082
1082
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Bookmarked this on my computer as interesting.

Overall impression of piece Nobody has reviewed this? I would have thought someone would go, "Right on sister!" I like animals. You can make other cases as praying mantis eats her male counterpart and the falcon the female is bigger. Reason is uncertain, but lets face it. Women do most of the work

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* This makes its point through exaggeration, Actually male lions don't go after pray because they are to big and slow. Ladies are better hunters. If they have a truly big animal, the male gets involved because of his extra weight.. Actually there are more males born than females. For chickens, you only need one rooster. The rest just kind of cause havoc. Rhyme is clever and gives the piece a unique rhythm

What I disliked*Idea* I saw you tag line of humorus opinion. It is funny. It is not very accurate. Men have run the world for centuries and look where it has gotten us. Maybe women should have more of a chance.

How the piece made me feel My scientist kind of rebels. I took this as humor and rated accordingly

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1083
1083
Review of Agreed  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Randm review

Overall impression of piece There are elements in here that are pretty good. I have been in hospitals with dying patients and these things do come up on a regular basis. Well, I can have a living will? I am not sure if they ever address all the necessary eventualities

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* I don't think these people weigh a lot of words so even this stacotto rendition is probably ok. There are things like the daughter's dedication that are well portrayed and the general malaise of someone who has give up

What I disliked*Idea* I will never ask anything more of you. Kind of a duh type of statement. I will be dead. It looks like a contest thing and is a little rushed. Ultimate answers don't come in 300 words. Sorry, can't buy it. Kidney failure often doesn't lead to those other things. Most do well on dialysis for a long time, which opens up an entirely different kettle of fish

How the piece made me feel I think the fears are real. I doubt if they would take so few words to get them out.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1084
1084
Review of That Place  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:This is extremely clever. I am not used to poetry having twists but this is fairly well done

Grammatical and spelling errors:Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* Interesting picture to go with it. I hope your beloved doesn't sniff those but that would explain some of the pieces I have seen--not yours. Extremely clever rhyme. Doesn't appear forced. It appears you are having an affair. We don't back up. We back space.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* the last stanza reverts back to first person. It seems that most love poems are about the beloved. I would think about that. the jump from from a physical lover to a word or4ganization is a bit abrupt and a bit startling.

How the piece made me feel: this is a nice sentiment. I can see why so many liked it. Fun idea. Does your significant other know about your significant other.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1085
1085
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looked in medical pieces. I know yhou write first person experience here. I have not been first line medical care for decades, but I do remember.

Overall impression of piece: We pay upfront for such a valuable commodity as our health. We end up with an extraordinary presupposition that the staff will be immortal in their tending of us. Pretty presumptious

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Most have no idea of the pressures involved. I took care of sailors after leaving port. A call to sickbay would get them quarenteened so the first day out they came out of the woodwork. It is a dance and I am not sure who is leading.

What I disliked*Idea* Stemming the tide, life or death is kind of cliche. It almost works but takes awy the first person experience.

How the piece made me feel Computers are a part of healthcare. There are diagnosing ones. I doubt if they would be accepted. 80% of disease goes away. Nothing can be a clever thing to do.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1086
1086
Review of This I Believe  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Trolling essays and found this one. I like essays

Overall impression of piece: I can't disagree with a single thing that is said. Taking our democracies to Muslim countries has been problematic as they really don't have the education level to make democracy work. You could actually argue that for this country. How many really know in detail a politician's stand? Probably not very many. There is only so much you can get from a 30 second sound bite. Does bashing your opponent say anything about you?

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Good quote from Dewey. He did believe in categorizing knwledge and building a knowledge base. Hense the Dewey decimal system in libraries. I think you laid out your thesis well about education and democracy.

What I disliked*Idea* You have put forward good ideas but haven't backed them up. How do we know there are inequities in the system. Discrimation is supposed to be illegal. In Idaho, y ou can see it in the test scores as more poorly funded districts have poorer test scores. Things like educated people make better decisions needs clarification. Edison wasn't formally educated. Numerous others were not either.

How the piece made me feel I think your comments are right on. I think there is a dumbing down of America. I am afraid we get the leaders we deserve.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1087
1087
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: This is fun. The picture looks like my house. I think we would have a similar organziaing pattern

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile*I see passion in your bookstore. There has to be magic in such a place as this. Authors have created entire new worlds that call out for minds that are hungering for more. Cats can be magic too and are definitely a part of the staff. How could you convince them otherwise?

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Can you have a bookstore that would be all things to all people. I am a nonfiction reader and to be there is magic there, too. How did a lowly patent clerk change the universe with Relativity. Now we vote on it and have polls.

How the piece made me feel: I wouldn't call this a business plan. I think your accountant would quit. We don't create magic anymore. We think of business goals and wonder why we our bankrupt. Remember Hemingway's a Clean Well-lit place. it served a function and a need for people. Most bookstores just sell books

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1088
1088
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like non fiction. Piece has merit

Overall impression of piece: There is a lot of poetic language in here. All the poetry isn't is the form of poems

Grammatical and spelling errors. Two spaces after the end of a sentence. Looks crowded. A Dash is two hyphens put together--than you can put the rest of the sentence without any spaces. Air-purplewithout a space. Generic-tinned with a hyphen. Ah! this cruel remembering isn't a sentence

What I liked?*Smile* You have used quasi living correctly. You have beautiful language likecushioned in the momment and luminous God bubbles. I can see and sense those. Ends with some pretty good questions

What I disliked*Idea* Kind of dash happy. I would use sparingly as to many parenthetical thoughts take away from your writing. Maybe after rememberng instead of a ! you should think of a coilon and make a list of things. A papery life is not a sentence.

How the piece made me feel Let life in needs more. I know it is a generic statement, but it really asks for explanation Fill out your bio. It really helps to know a little about you to help to evaluate.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1089
1089
Review of Cat and Mouse  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Looking through essays and saw this

Overall impression of piece: YOu are right. There are people like this. They are playing and tormenting you simply because they can. I certainly can get the analogy

Grammatical and spelling errors: Never to deliberately cause pain is not a sentence. I would append it to the one in front. It looks like there should be a paragraph break immediately after that.

What I liked?*Smile* Skewered is such a dramatic word. Cats have very long canines. The actual mouse horror is blow by blow and inch by inch. The interpersonal one is that way too

What I disliked*Idea* Today I was the mouse again seems a little out of place. We don't know when you were before. I thought about what it was to be a mouse tormented in my work place would be a better description

How the piece made me feel Some of these folks do this just for pure enjoyment. I do not know the reason. It is best to stay out of being a mouse sandwich

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1090
1090
Review of Bound to protect  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Going through nonfiction and saw this one. I am attuned to animals. I volunteer at a zoo and know something of animal behavior

Overall impression of piece: This is interesting and pretty graphic. You have a lot of detail here

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* Most things are not a dog's eye view of things and that makes this a unique piece. Paralyzing is a unique injury and I could tell exactly what happened. That is how they kill in the wild.

What I disliked*Idea* Loyalty is more of a human emotion. Canines perhaps show that but more likely will show adherence to the pact. The master is his pack leader. There is a bond there and he does not want to disappoint.. final sentence is definitely anthropomorphic and doesn't quite fit. The intruders would not be so much intruders as not his pack.

How the piece made me feel Good detail. Good attempt to show a different way of seeing. Our world is not the dog's world.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1091
1091
Review of I am me!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Pretty comprehensive piece. Who can argue the content. You are you. You are a remarkable person. It is pretty easy to see that.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* There are so many things that revolve around us. My Dad died 6 years ago and I am still his son. That is pretty weird. I like to think I have grown beyond him and in many ways, I have. Does me ever stop changing? I don't think so, for better or worse. We are married to ourselves. I like the repetition of the last line of the stanzas.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* There is a lot of strong and specific language here. Generally, for me, poetry is to get the reader to feel what you feel and see what you see. There is more to you than you are letting on

How the piece made me feel: I guess I get to the end of this and I have to ask, so what? This all means quite a bit to y ou. It is written inbetween the lines. Let us in so we can see to. It might help readers on their own personal identification

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1092
1092
Review of Missing Daddy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw it advertised under read a newbie and thought it looked interesting

Overall impression of piece: this is certainly a story for our time. I think in Idaho we have had someone missing for 5 years. Certainly have classified this in all the right areas. As this in a contest piece, some idea of what the prompt is might be of use.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* The main question that gives appeal and believabo;oty is do I think this could happen? My answer would be yes. Children know more things, especially if waiting expectantly

What I disliked*Idea* Very descriptive at the beginning. I kind of lose track of whose story it is. If POV us the mothers, she could describe some of the things she is seeing. If it is the daughters, the emotional appeal might come through more. It doesn't' quite make it as an objective narrator piece. There are feelings interposed in there. He would be shocked she knew who he was, but it seems a little prosaic description. There would be a mystery he would have to see by looking.

How the piece made me feel this is believable and touching.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1093
1093
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I realize the tongue-in-cheek nature of this or maybe the mouth-parts-in-you approach. I am impressed you got the female as the biter. I had to google that to see what y ou were saying made any sense. It didn't really have to, but if you are interested, I listed a url: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mosquito. Apparently there is a fertility rite going on here. Who knew? I thought it was just to annoy me.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Blood-filled arm needs a hyphen. More like a blood filled smorgesborg.

What I liked? *Smile* I think you know something about this stuff. As I say, that is impressive. You catch the universal angst of men and women as we deal with an invisible and pesky foe. This reads well with good rhythm and the rhyme has a tendency to give it kind of an old world declaration of war.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I think most of the truely good mosquito spray went the way of DDT. Most of us desire just to be alone leaving the cities to spray for the accursed pests.

How the piece made me feel: Fun idea. I like the idea of human smorgesborg. Obviously it is an all you can eat.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1094
1094
Review of Lucy's Rainbow  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I am sure this met the criteria for which you wrote it. I am sure it is something that will be treasured. I hate rating these. Sometimes review only is a best option. I think the rainbow is god's sign that he is not finished with us yet. You get back to the Noah story in the bible and it is proove positive that that he is with us after the storm. Pasternak for Dr. Zivalgo said that No one ever dies. We live in the mind and hearts of those who loved us

Grammatical and spelling errors:Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* I am sure this reflects many conversations on the topic of your dear daughter's death. I have a hard time imagining. My youngest is 30. I get this, Most of the rhyme and rhythm is pretty tight. It reads well. This is chronologicaql and story does a lot to hold it together

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Dreams and hymns seems to be a weaker rhyme

How the piece made me feel: God thanks us with a rainbow. I am not sure if I quite get that. Poetry always has some holes in it so I guess I accept what you feel. Harder to identify with than others

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
1095
1095
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Probably a Newbie review. I bookmarked the piece out of interest then forgot why I did.

Overall impression of piece: Certainly a piece that asks a question. I think it is germaine to a lot of those reading you here.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Paper, what was I thinking. Wouldn't use a comma there. Maybe a period or a dash. Punctuation is a difficult area to critique poets. Some say it is all poetic license. I think it should give you the idea of when to pause. Some seemingly natural breaks aren't really used

What I liked?*Smile* You have asked questions. Aren't all writers pretenders? I can write something to inform or change the hearts of men and women? I think we can, but maybe not as not many folks read anymore. Precious few think.

What I disliked*Idea* Ending is kind of nebulous. I know a writer which I assume is you. Spectators have a purpose. I like that. If we aren't entertained, we turn off the TV. Why not amazement?

How the piece made me feel Words flow in my veins and I release them to paper to keep from going mad. Maybe there are more poetic ways to end this. I think I get it, but am not sure.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1096
1096
Review of Early Morning  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece I like poetic work expressed in a non poem form. I see tremendous advantages.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Uneven margins kind of work for me. It shows me that this is something different and I can accept that. Untainted by problems paragraph really isn't a sentence. You have two clauses hooked together by a semicolon. You are missing a verb.

What I liked? I can see this. I can feel it along with you. I think that is good poetic expression. The reactions to what is going on are all there too.

What I disliked: Two things approach cliche. Trials and tribulations and essence of time. for essence of time why not describe it.. Maybe the other could be made of tears and laments. This life is not for sissies.

How the piece made me feel: Great conclusion. I think you are describing an Ephiphany moment. God peaks in; why not share it?

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
1097
1097
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Perusing essays and found this one. I have a Quaker background. No I don't eat oatmeal. The oatmeal and the faith have nothing to do with each other

Overall impression of piece: Most of the ideas are here. You have done a good job perusing the scriptures and thinking about them

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* The subject is vast and y ou have covered it pretty well

What I disliked*Idea* People really don't look up scripture. Consider writing it out: they tried appeasement with Hitler and it didn't work. It was seen as weakness. We rewrote Europ for probably no reason at all. Is there a just war today? Conscientious objectors actuually had detention camps, like the Japanese. God ordains kingdoms (Romans 13) Are we to rearragne them and for what purpose?

How the piece made me feel Interesting thoughts. Can God's way co-exist with the world without the world corrupting it? In the Old Testament, the answer would be no.. We have all the fruit of the Spirit so I think it is possible. War objectors gave up everything. Their families received no health care. They weren't paid

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1098
1098
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like essays and hope to be of help

Overall impression of piece You are making excuses before you hardly even start writing. You are the writer. What ever comes out is it. As an author or a reader, that is it. Shouldn't need a beer to make heads or tails of anything

Grammatical and spelling errors This is kind of a stream of conciousness. Yes, I can follow it but most is kind of horrible english. It is hard to know where the last sentence begins or ends

What I liked?*Smile* this is personal and I don't have to doubt that ths is really how you feel. There is certainly nothing of pretense here.

What I disliked*Idea* Things like D have no meaning or B positive or so formula driven to be almost cliche. Like...whatever really doesn't express an idea. I think you really do have a thought.

How the piece made me feel This is more blogging than writing. With a little practice and education, you can do better. We could understand you if we had you with us. Otherwise, we need to follow some conventions about writing. Horizon's Academy on our site has classes.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1099
1099
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. Not my genre, but I get what you are saying and probably feel about the same way

Overall impression of piece: Horror films are the stupidest things ever. If you want horror, try living in a day to day world. The horror perhaps is more realistic.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* I think you put your editorial comments kind of inbetween the lines. Who writes this and more importantly, who reads it? We have had good horror in our Past with Poe and some of the masters. We will contribute very little. You have editorial comments in here without really having to make them

What I disliked*Idea* You missed a great chance to go to red font ahh! blood, brother, Blood

How the piece made me feel The original must have been written with all the creativity of a designer spaghetti noodle. This is obviously tongue-in-cheek but a little editorial comment here and there would have really brought your point of view home. Why do we watch such things?

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1100
1100
Review of Daily Cramps  Open in new Window.
for entry "Just sitting there..." Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: As a piece of flash fiction, you get to the point quickly and set up the whole conflict. The conflict appears to be an internal one

Grammatical and spelling errors: It looks like you can have internal dialogue with italics but no quotes or quotes, with no italics. The discussion is upended with a url. http://data.grammarbook.com/blog/quotation-marks/i... Actual quote looks like italics which would be incorrect.

What I liked? *Smile* This is a pretty basic issue for those who have come back from catastrophic circumstances. to have this type of fixation on a savior is not all that unusual. the male imperative to communicate is not out of line--just unusual

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* the guy seems wrong. I would think the thought would be a guy. Obviously he is not the only one

How the piece made me feel: This smacked of life like circumstances. Pretty unusual for flash fiction.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Michaelfrom Mountains
2,413 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 97 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/frontierman/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/44