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6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
Least Favorite Item Types
long novels
I will not review...
Long novels
Public Reviews
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1026
1026
Review of Summer's Fall  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I saw this in the spiritual newsletter. Most of the pieces I could not identify with. I checked through your bio and found it interesting. Hey, I used to do autopsies for a living--among other t6hings

Overall impression of piece: Most of the pieces in the newsletter didn't resonate or I frankly did not get.

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems good.

What I liked?*Smile* I enjoy some of the same things when reading your poem. I do think about leaves. There are ultimate mysteries that are embraced both by vision and touch.. I like the capitolization of the first line of your sentences. There is a viscertal feel to this. I think attention is savored during this time. Dead of summer and no one pays attention to anything other than the AC

What I disliked*Idea* Is this a season thing or about you? I am not sure if it is possible to break them apart.

How the piece made me feel Does autumn stand for anything? Seems like it just is, like most of life. There are autumn times of life where the hair turns grey and we can just look and wonder. As we age, that might be all that is left.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1027
1027
Review of Powerless Power  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review.

Overall impression of piece: Kind of a cool piece. The detail in the piece makes me think you were a direct observer. Well done/.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile*: It appears you have attempted to make the form of a tree. The last stanza is longer lined but reality is that there is more below the ground than above the ground--especially in the desert where I live.

What I disliked*Idea*: Came and shame seem a bit forced to make it rhyme. Flung far from the tree could be off by itself, maybe even at an angle. At the end of a line F
a
r

Flung from the tree
How the piece made me feel Do trees die or are they recycled? I am not sure of the ending.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1028
1028
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I love essays

Overall impression of piece: I see this as a pretty good example of the personaql essay

Grammatical and spelling errors Plume needs an e. NSA probably needs to be spelled out at least once.

What I liked?*Smile* This is pretty evocative. it didn't matter where you were that morning, it certainly was an attention getter. This deals with the issues on an emotional level. I could believe you were there and it affected you

What I disliked*Idea* Bridge that bound us together needs to be brought out more. We seemed to have a unified purpose. I am not sure what the purpose of writing this is. You kind of leave us damp and dreary in Florida

How the piece made me feel We don't seem to beable to agree on anything. Why if the Bush admin was so bad are we doing a lot of the same things. We don't seem very responsive to things that seem pretty obvious. Maybe I don't have an answer, but I know this is not the solution. Alkeida said they would bleed America dry from fighting a defensive war.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1029
1029
Review of Nothing  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:There definitely is a lot going on here. I think good writing gives a slice of what life looks like and this does that. it is open and honest.

Grammatical and spelling errors:

What I liked? *Smile* Winning all personal victories is definitely selfish. I think in the end, no one wins, so we might as well get some perspective.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I hurt her for going about her day. I am not sure what that is about. It needs something more specific to identify with so we get the issue. Maybe it is about not empathizeing with her pain

How the piece made me feel: The human condition is so perilous when you get right down to it. Our claims at immortality are a bit overrated in this life. I can do nothing kind of sums things up

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1030
1030
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: This is kind of a hard assignment. How do you say something new in circumstances that we have all come to know what comes next.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Second John needs a capitol.

What I liked? *Smile* Scene and setting our well done. I get where this occurs. Thanks for the prompt on the bottom. Could use some smell.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Froze in terror, turning to run by too late. First paragraph really doesn't carry the action . Consider eliminating and focus more on what is coming out of the river.

How the piece made me feel:

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1031
1031
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece I like essays

Overall impression of piece> Not many people write with this sort of depth and insight. There is a lot here

Grammatical and spelling errors Generally people indent a pargraph or use a blck system with one line of empty space betweeen paragraphs. That is what I use on my port. It is easier to read on screen.; For wives explanation would be best with a colon and indent the a, b , c and d

What I liked?*Smile* This is an extended metaphor that is really pretty well done. This could have worked as a poem as you kind of did leave blanks for us to fill in.

What I disliked*Idea* Seems weird that you don't use the entire size of the imput box. I am not sure how you did that.

How the piece made me feel This gave me a lot to think about. Does neglect of our soul have a relationship to the body? Probably does. I think it has something to say with our longevity. It is a personal struggle as I age. I would really like to know more about you as I review your work. all those spots are empty on your port and they do make a difference in communication

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1032
1032
Review of Golden Rule  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece I like essays. Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece: Golden rule is in many societies. I believe that the Chinese of the old west probably were better at it than the Christians they encountered

Grammatical and spelling errors I would keep your block style of paragraphing throughout. It looks like you have paragraphs smushed together. I think you mean gist not jest.

What I liked?*Smile* I always like when someone speaks out of personal experience. This stuff does work.
Here is a source for your quote by someone who obviously knew how to do this. http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/346221-diplomacy-i... It was very easy to google this
What I disliked*Idea* Pargraphs seem a little short and choppy. I would develope some of your thoughts in longer paragraphs

How the piece made me feel In Congress, one of the participants was told to go to hell and He said, "I checked the rules and I don't have to go."

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1033
1033
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: There is nothing more intense than people shooting at you. I think you have caught this. Don't leave anyone behind

Grammatical and spelling errors: seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* The heroics in this is exempliary and is of stuff that most do not know about. It is definitely seen in his recuers. Thanks for leaving the prompt.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* ACU shirt is not self-explanatory. It is not too exact on who is fighting. We know somehow Al Queada is in the background somehow. Seems kind of rushed due to word limit.

How the piece made me feel: There is realism here. It seems rushed with the participants knowing more that the ther members

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1034
1034
Review of LED BY A STAR  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: You have captured the beauty here. Obviously there were angels singing. It is so recorded.

Grammatical and spelling errors:

What I liked? *Smile* I kind of like the way this is layed out. I like the alternating red and green fonts. Graphic art definitely adds something. Reads kind of like a Christmas card which is what I think you were aiming towards. Eye catching and easy to read.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Certain things don't necessarily go across all the religious traditions. Mary like a Queen wouldn't be understood in non-catholic circles. Would the star have been visible? From the Jeurusalem accounts, it had to be pointed out by the Magi. His parents would think him a bit crazy and needed to come home with them

How the piece made me feel: He is messiah and what would that mean? Jesus was definitely a bit of a surprise. All this to a poor family in a cave in Bethlehem?

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1035
1035
Review of The Red Sunset  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: You have the thoughts of nearly all red-blooded American males. Obviously, I get this.

Grammatical and spelling errors No punctuation but reads well.

What I liked?*Smile* Rhyme is subtle but effective. I can experience this viscerally as well as visually.

What I disliked*Idea* This is kind of a mixed bag of images. We have sunset,a road slinking, bedtime apparently at sunset--although I guess in June it isn't too far fetched. I look at charms like lucky charms, which I don't think is what you are going for.

How the piece made me feel I get posession. I get being one. I have a long termed relationship and it doesn't really change.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1036
1036
Review of Red Bear  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Saw this advertised on a side bar Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece: This is quite an interesting piece of Americana. We have little idea what this is like in today's world

Grammatical and spelling errors: Stomach mispelled, continue mispelled i\until mispelled. themselves mispelled.

What I liked?*Smile* I like encorporating a quote. It has an ease about it like it is a speaker in tune with their craft.

What I disliked*Idea*: Resting our eyes is not a usual description. I would give more detail. I am not sure how bribery works for resting eyes. I would give an example. I am waiting for someone to bribe me.

How the piece made me feel

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1037
1037
Review of Talk before sleep  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Part of the spiritual newsletter

Overall impression of piece

Grammatical and spelling errors: You have at least four sentences that don't start with a capital. You have problems with quotes where there is a break in the sentence. It should be he said, "Elephants have ears." It's is a contraction. its head is a possessive and has no appostrophe. I like the no mention of a sex. it is pretty biblical

What I liked?*Smile* This isn't the usual death scene that people think of and that is ok as we all believe a bit differently. I like the tone of this. It is loving and caring

What I disliked*Idea* It is a little confusing just exactly what you are advocating.

How the piece made me feel I have what I personally believe and since I have never been dead, I can't really dispute this. Fill in your bio. It really helps reviewers review.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1038
1038
Review of Fold The Flag  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Definitely a Wow! I have spent time in the military and volunteer at a Military History museum. There is a lot going on here

Grammatical and spelling errors:Seems ok

What I liked? *Smile* I like the Wikepedia link. Metals and picture are a neat tribute. Rhyme and rhythm are almost lyrical

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* had to look hard to see the writing on picture.

How the piece made me feel: I get the feeling there is more to this than meets the eye. It is written with a lot of empathy and understanding. Everyone of those flag folds means something. You might look up flag code. there is a lot of God and country there.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1039
1039
Review of Socialism Plan  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: Thank you for writing about something interesting. I get this coming from the good conservative state of Idaho. Only 30% if the state is democratic and the legislature is kind of a joke. Primaries are more important than elections

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Ample amount of humor and presupposition here. Of course the issue is that we are all paying the bill. Of course when uninsured go to the ER, we end up paying for the bill with very high priced health care.

What I disliked*Idea*L This is kind of advanced through sarcasm and cynicism. These really are not solution. We used to be the land of unlimited opportunity. that is not the case anymore. Healcare is definitely out of wack. I spent three years with 600 dollar a moth healthcare that didn't cover anything. I didn't get sick and the insurance companies made a killing. Luckily it didn't effect my health

How the piece made me feel Conservatism has a kind of burry your head in the sand mentality. Democratic majority is not oblivious to what is going on, but clearly not in tune with financial realities. Once we lose the place of the premeir economey, we will see an economic downturn that will be horrendous. Is it really a matter of what these folks think. They have a lot of supporters. I think the country has lost its mind

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1040
1040
Review of Today I Rest  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Saw this advertised on a side bar. Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece: Kind of interesting. I think I get the feelings behind this, but I am retired and have different issues. I could read a book all day and nobody would know. I do understand this from my wife and do realize that sometimes nothing can be a clever things to say. She is still working.

Grammatical and spelling errors No real punctuation but seems to read well

What I liked?*Smile* Very tight little poem with an interesting rhyme scheme. I am not sure if I have seen the form before. Very matter of fact and there is no doubt how you feel about these things.

What I disliked*Idea* Seems to me a bit of mismatch between a crafted style and a slothful attitude. I get the feling. I think we are all there. It is kind of eye catching.

How the piece made me feel A bit of Deja vu

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1041
1041
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece How could I not like this piece. It is pure unadultered need-to-know information. It is writers helping other writers. it is the essence of WDC

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* I like the url listed. It is well formatted and easy to read. How could I argue about copied information> I thumbed through a lot of your articles in the folder. There is a lot of good info there.

What I disliked*Idea* Article was written in 2002. Even I am more up to date than that. I am not very organized. There should be encouragement to read the other articles in your selction. Here's a brand new idea. Maybe we should just have a repsitory of useful information that people can like and look at any time they want. It certainly could have more than one author.

How the piece made me feel The use of web sites such as this is vast. I could use all the help I could get from free lancers.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1042
1042
Review of Mommy Mayhem  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Greetings to the newest reviewer member of rising story from the oldest and most decrepid. Newborns are not as easy as what they lead you to think. This brings back memmories and even for a Dad it could be traumatic. I had to be reassured that I wouldn't break the poor thing. At the zoo where I volunteer, it is not often that new keepers have to intervene for mothers who can't quite figure it out. That includes a 4 am feeding

Grammatical and spelling errors: hyphens have no spaces. After the end of a sentence, you need two spaces

What I liked? *Smile* The best teacher of good judgement is experience and the best teacher of experience is bad judgement. Who can't relate to this.? Our products will make your life easier. No they won't. Picture definitely gives your piece validity.. Definitely a beauty.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Pretty good. I can't think of much to change stylistically. It is funny

How the piece made me feel: You either laugh or cry at being a first time parent. You baby has grown up. I can tell by the picture. God and his angels has a sense of humor and waterwings.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1043
1043
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece:Saw this in articles which is a major thing I like to review. As a Christian, I found this very worthy of noting. I also remembered you from the Garden page. What shgall we do is always a major question in life. For Christians the answer is often nothing. Is my testimony that I go to Church? I don't think so.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked? *Smile* Interesting quote from Leviticus. I neverhave heard that before but it is not a part of the Bible I am most familiary with. I am not sure why when they stop going to church, we think they our out of our Body. Our church is a mission field? Pretty good emphasis of the church getting outside itself. You do have a call to action and that is good.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Something happened before you made the call to the retirement home. This doesn't seem sequential. There was a thought process going on which we all need to wrestle with before we actually do something. There has to be some, "Am I qualified?" thoughts. I think you need to address these and speak to those you know are holding back. The need is more than Las vegas. I would extrapolate beyond that.

How the piece made me feel: I need to think about this. The church I attend is wresting with getting beyond its 4 walls. They formed a committee to study this. I think doing something, even the wrong thing might be better.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1044
1044
Review of Seasons of Man  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Newbie newsletter. Interesting ideas.

Overall impression of piece: I would have thought you were a lot older poet. Most youngsters don't have the patience to write this. I am over 4 times you age and I don't.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* There is a time of newgrowth and flowers. Consider Jesus saying consider the lillies of the field. He spoke of the hearvest. Rhyme seems to work alright and it reads well

What I disliked*Idea* Winter doesn't do it for me as an image. It is a time of death. In mythology,persephone was kidnapped by Hades into the under world, Ie Hell and for months, the world weeped. Death is a part of rebuilding. It is a hard part. We don't feel comfortable with it.

How the piece made me feel I immediately think of Shakespeare (and Hamlet for the seasons of a man. It is pretty hard to get by that. I am not sure if man starts out planning and conniving. Eventually there is no spring--only endless winter underground unless you believe in eternal rebirth.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1045
1045
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Looking through articles. Like medical things. Newbie review

Overall impression of piece Pretty orderly piece of work. It is logical and well formatted

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Information seems right on. I value the attempt at information sharing. Information is best if you know where it comes from

What I disliked*Idea*: What do women really want to know? they want to know how not to have breat cancer especially if they are at risk. Give some indication where this comes from. If you are a medical professional, that should at least be in your bio. People do read those.

How the piece made me feel I would probably think about organizing this against a what can I do theme. Definitely mention mammogram. If you have a tumor, you want a small one. When I started in Pathology 30 years ago, women had an average of 3.0 cm tumors. Now the number is down to .5 cms Cure rates are up

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1046
1046
Review of God Unseen  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw this advertised on a side bar. Read your bio and it is indeed fascinating. I have some medical pieces on my port that may interest you

Overall impression of piece Interesting thoughts on the nature of man and woman

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* Poetry is designed to leave gaps to fill in as the reader supposes. I am a Christian, but there are some truths about God that are probably universal. It goes back to creation, whenever it was. I wasn't there. It all starts with the supposition that you can't get something from nothing. Rhyme seems clever and makes some of the statements more palatable. Otherwise they could be a bit cliche.

What I disliked*Idea* You seem to have random capitolization that I am not sure of a reason. I am willing to grant poetic license to write it however you wish. However, Blind God and Facts of Nature don't really need them

How the piece made me feel We are such deniers. My mother in law is 84 with health problems and my wife expects her to live forever. It is time to celebrate the 84 years and not deny that this will be the last one. We have all sorts of things that we should be but are not. We could be better. It is God's call on us. Meekness to a Christian mind isn't weakness. It is more power under control. We have many places in the world that could use some meekness

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1047
1047
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I think this is the one you asked me to review.

Overall impression of piece: Pretty interesting piece. There is a blessing here. I can see that. My Mother died when I was 8 and my Dad quickly remarried. New spouses marry the family too. It would be a difficult relationship because it wasn't necessarily based on truth

Grammatical and spelling errors Two spaces after a period. Paragraqphing error after when it came time to explain it

What I liked?*Smile* Certainly you have lived a colorful and eventful life. I get a lot of first hand information with details. I find it very believable. I get the thing about playing in lightning storm. Having a disease like Alzheimers makes one not to clear about the reason to live. So far it has been very stable. I can love my family today. Perhaqps that has to be enough. The differences between parents is startling. My Mom's new family was unlike anything I had ever known. Than again, so was I.

What I disliked*Idea* This is organized as a reminisence. It is hard to see exactly why you wrote this. The one sentence intro helps alot but it should be in the beginning for some clarity.

How the piece made me feel I do get the feeling behind this. Some of it is written between the lines

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1048
1048
Review of Words or deeds  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Thought I would wander by your port and see some of your thoughts

Overall impression of piece: You hit a lot of real truths. Platitudes don't really cut it to make someone feel better.

Grammatical and spelling errors; Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* A nicely reading poem. I like the way the rhyme goes together and it seems to flow. We try to pay our way through the world with a lot of tokens and wonder why we are so lonely. the bible has a lot to say on all these topics. You didn't make them up. I would list footnotes.

What I disliked*Idea*: Sometimes there is nothing really to do. Sometimes just time is what makes the difference. I am available for you. Christian community is important, but they don't realize how important they really are.. They think they are just like everyone else when in essence, they are called to something higher.

How the piece made me feel You have rightly defgined truth. Christ's love is not theoretical. It is emminently practical

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1049
1049
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece What a tough assignment. It seems undoubtably for a contest of some sort.

Grammatical and spelling errors Does their refer to scientist or rats brain. Kind of unclear.

What I liked?*Smile* Good use of internal dialogue. Filling you mind with ectasy is a brilliant concept. Imagine a brain not recovering from beauty

What I disliked*Idea*Ectasy is a hard word. Most would associate it with a drug issue. This is pretty poetic. I think you have the wrong form here. This form might be best as a poem where holes and flights of fancy are really appreciated and expected.

How the piece made me feel Intriguing. Remind me not to go to a party with you

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1050
1050
Review of Hello  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Why I chose this piece Like essays. Newbie review.

Overall impression of piece Pretty ok informational piece

Grammatical and spelling errors: Had to look up ~ after I even found it on my keyboard. You kind of used it like a parenthesis when it means about like. I have no idea what a spoonie is. I might try googling that.
comma after long. Comma after on and before but.

What I liked?*Smile* You have more than most have in their bios and I salute you for that.

What I disliked*Idea* there is a bio block right as you enter your portfolio.. I think it is the upper right hand corner. I believe there are about 600 bites there. Your biography also has a bio feature. That would probably be the place to put this.

How the piece made me feel Welcome to WDC. It may not be Chaucer, but it is a start.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
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