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6,263 Public Reviews Given
6,958 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I do a lot of reviews. I try to honestly assess both pluses and minuses. Not a grammar champ, but I try
I'm good at...
I really like essays and non fiction
Favorite Genres
History, spirituality
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long novels
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Public Reviews
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1201
1201
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece: Hopefully you didn't go here for your birthday. This has elements of all the horid figures that come to life in Shakespear's plays. What gives us pause. I think often it is the things we know or have known. Think of Marley's ghost from Christmas Tale

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact.

What I liked? Kind of a classical feel to this. This reads well. Who knows. If you were from the 40's you would say the shadow knows. Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men? Of course you know the answer. The shadow knows. He haunted bad guys. Interesting and appropriate pictures

What I disliked Shadows kind of overplayed. I would think of the things hidden in those shadows more.

How the piece made me feel Didn't really send me to wonder about dark things. Could have been better. Maybe it is just that I don't want to go there.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1202
1202
Review of River  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece I am an ecology nut. I have some of the same influences like Harry Chapin and Thoreau. Even Simon and Garfuncle hasw some interwoven circles

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads well

What I liked?*Smile* Rocks tell the story. Eternity in the blink of an eye. We are part of the continuum because someday we will be rock and mud like anything else. Maybe a pretty box but still the same. I feel the thought and it is evocative. Perhaps more would be in order.

What I disliked*Idea* Harry Chapin? You are dating yourself and me. Not everyone is going to get this. If this is about a river, make it about a river. There is so much to write about. How many milllenia has it been here? What are the effects, over time. I can see cicles right there.

How the piece made me feel We have a place where horse like things (Actually nost closely related to Zebras )were at a river in the wilds of Idaho. That was a fossil 3.5 million years old called the Hagerman horse. Now they are only in Africa in Kenya. Hoorses disappeared in North America until brought back by the conquistadors. There is so much more here. I see the potential

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1203
1203
Review of Night Club Fire  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece This came up on a random review. I thought my pieces didn't get looked at. I will increase your reviews on this by 50%

Overall impression of piece: I really do believe in the spirit behind this. I believe there is judgement on immorality. I think we are seeing it in the USA and in the sanctity of the family> I think this might be the Cocacobana fire. It was one of the fires that changed the way America looked at fire safety. the other was the Triangle Fire when a sewing place burned without adequete fire escapes. It was grizzly; there is no doubt about it

Grammatical and spelling errors: From with a capital indicates a new sentence that really isn't one. Out of control The (I am not sure why the is capitalized

What I liked?*Smile*: This is something that most folks don't know anything about. You are telling a moral tale, but y ou don't really let us know what the particulars are. What city? for one

What I disliked*Idea* This is written like history with a lot of passive voice. You really though haven't told us much history. How the morality cleaned up and why isn't said. Was there an evangelical campaign? Why this piece? If morality, as a Christian, I remain unconvinced. God could have been saying y ou need fire codes.

How the piece made me feel: Either go the full fledged historical route and give details or completely fictionalize what is going on and leave a url for us to get the details. There is more to be done here.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1204
1204
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece: Having survived two teens and driving with only one loss of car--you mean I have to put oil in it?-- I get this. There is such love between us, that we knew most of what they were doing wrong even before they did it.

Grammatical and spelling errors

What I liked? You called this a short story which to me means fiction. it reads biographically, along with your intro statement. Of course the title is right on. We all thought our parents were as dumb as a post. It wasn't till we were 25 or so we realized they had a lot on the ball. This is a great treasure to your family which I know will be a blessing

What I disliked: The reason for writing this is unclear. We need to feel we got something out of this. Biographical is ok, but what did you get out of this?

How the piece made me feel: We survived teenagers. The first was a tremendous challenge. As an adult I think the answer of what we got was perspective. It had been along time since we thought her way. We also learned about loving

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1205
1205
Rated: E | (4.5)

Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece This has kind of a classical feel to it.. I doubt if you are old enough (my wife like McCaffery and we are not young)

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? I like this. In our yard we have stuff poppilng up in all sort of weird places. We figure the squirels are at work. We certainly didn't plant that wildly. This reads well and has a pretty nice sound to it.,

What I disliked All the ow words at the end of the first stanza seem a bit much. If they are plucked away, how can they be shadows. Sometimes my scientist might get in the way. How about memmory shadows

How the piece made me feelL life goes on despite all the viscitudes. We are so tightly wound around ourselves that sometimes we don't see that there is a bigger world

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1206
1206
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece: Now this is different. I don't know of anything like it. You have a ton of science in this one and I almost got dizzy readying. Overland speed records should probably have a rotational basis to them like the wind aided long jump. You play with the ideas in a playful way that if nothing else, give us something to mystify our kids with.

Grammatical and spelling errors give them a breat, its just the universe they live in is kind of a parenthetical thought. I would use a dash instead of a comma

What I liked? We think we are such giants, in control of everything. We are in control of very little. Until you hit dark matter, your expressions are pretty logical and well said.

What I disliked Dark matter is a hpothetical construct and is pretty hard to get a handle on. Your foot note on DR Gilmore really doesn't help. Something on darkmatter might have been better. A little more explanation would go along way.

How the piece made me feel Instead of bouncing off the walls, maybe they are bouncing off a dark matter barrier.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1207
1207
Review of That Feeling  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece: I like this. It is pretty evocative. I get all the sensations here of smell and touch. It is easy to be in touch with feelings like this, but the way you have said them is simple, yet profound.

Grammatical and spelling errors: After playing in the wind, I think you mean to have another paragraph. I would leave a space. I am not sure why you need passive voice of was waving. He waved seems better.

What I liked? Relationships are tactile. They have a feel to them, like a summer's day. This is made by detail. We do remember everything. The Fantastics would say, Celebrate sensation, you've been there. You remember. I got that from reading your piece.

What I disliked: To many its referring back to love. Kind of gets non distinct. I would say this is a physical relationship of some sort and perhaps rated 13+ would be best. Kind of borderline.

How the piece made me feel: I have been married for 39 years and still know some of those feelings. They change, but not really

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1208
1208
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. Your pieces are often thought provoking and definitely well done

Overall impression of piece: Your framework is interesting and very readable

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact


What I liked?*Smile* This is very readable and very thought provoking. I guess I couldn't ask for more. I am at a turning point in life and need to think about things like this. I would be a giant, but the world says I am unemployed and have no vocation

What I disliked*Idea* Moderate has two meanings. Moderate can mean kind of average. I don't think that is what you mean. You are using it as a verb. I think we are looking for above average thinking and that is good. Using the other definition as a verb, hasn't society been changed the most by folks who refused to go along with the crowd?

How the piece made me feel I would say you are very comfortable with you and I can celebrate that. Your piece kind of opened up a can of worms. It is well done, but makes me wonder.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1209
1209
Review of Fate Is A Poet  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)

Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Anniversary

Overall impression of piece This reminds me of a book written by Ernest Gann about early fliers called Fate is the Hunter. His premise was that the planes were so tenuously put together that the possibility of them falling from the sky was very real. You have a gift for words with the rhythms and sounds going together very well

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems ok

What I liked? Interesting how this works. Reality is a shell game composed of all these things. Reality isn't real? Of course not or you would have to fight off who knows what on a daily basis. I like the idea of universe in the ball of a pen. We can create it, and we do. It is our God-like quality

What I disliked: Allographs risk rejection. I have done many autopsies on allograph rejections. I am not sure if most folks would get that.

How the piece made me feel This is kind of a whirl wind of thoughts and pictures. I guess a lot of life is like that. I see all of that.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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1210
1210
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece Things havew changed over time. In the 1890's the supreme Court would say this is a Christian country by history and tradition. Even as a Christian, I would have to say not so. I don't think the court would rule that way anymore.

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems ok

What I liked?*Smile* You have got all the parameters down here. I can't say any of them are wrong. Prophecy would talk of the end times and it isn't pretty. The end result will be chaos. It isnot only prophecy; it is the only thing that makes any sense. This is kind of a chaos thing without answers. As Christians , we know how it will play out. Where the Christians will be in open to debate.

What I disliked*Idea* Register to vote may be rearraging deck chairs on the Titanic

How the piece made me feel> This really has no answers to it. Register to vote is really weak. I am not sure we get informed enough to make good decisions. Why right this? Don't have an answer. I just know that is is coming. America is changing and I am sure that is buy eternal design. When we stop wanting to do the right thing, God perhaps washes his hands of us

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1211
1211
Review of Jesus Is Lord  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Ruwth asked me to review.

Overall impression of piece The language of expression is informal and down to earth. I like mess up instead of sin. It works for me. I think his spirit tells us when we mess up

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* Your examples are real life ones that exude authenticity. I like the ending with the Holy Spirit being available. I would hope someone would say, I want what she has got.

What I disliked*Idea* the heart ache of a stillborn child is intense. I am not sure if there are answers. As a medical professional, I know that 1/3 pregnancies never come to term. Most women never even know. It is ok to just receive solace. There is a lot of religious speak in here that some folks will not get. things like washed clean. there are injunctions like to spread the word. How do you feel about this. I think most slaves felt inadequete in doing their masters bidding.

How the piece made me feel

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1212
1212
Review of Jesus is Lord  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Ruwth asked me to do some reviews

Overall impression of pieceL Starting out with a scripture, I wasn't sure this was going to be real. I was pleasantly surprised. I needed this

Grammatical and spelling errors Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* God is the author and perfector of my faith. Isn't it ironic that we don't consider God a writer. He can tell us how to live and show us the way. Personally I ask, can you do it a little quicker? I guess I had never thought of it before. You have touched on all the salient points of discussion in a very short piece

What I disliked*Idea* Author and perfector of my faith I believe is Hebrews. I am not sure everyone would get that. What has he done. I would consider an example.

How the piece made me feel: Living in end times, I wonder about these things. Many say we will not be a part of the travail of the times. I sense a lot of travail now. We kind of think He should do what we tell him to. It kind of gives us a huge promotion that we aren't ready for.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1213
1213
Review of He Saved Me  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Ruwth asked me to do some reviews

Overall impression of piece: I am delighted as the simple faith that comes across in these words.

Grammatical and spelling errors Words for there maybe words for that. Paragraphing margins are all over the place. I never paid any attention almost looks like two paragraphs

What I liked?*Smile* I look at your testimony and I can only saw "Wow." It is all there. Most of us haven't gone through two near fatal events like this. Yur faith seems more genuine than perhaps most.

What I disliked*Idea*: Not to damage my spinal cord, just the lumbar region seems unclear. Is it the bone of the lumbar? Spell out the good. You havae been very specific about the bad. Give good equal time.

How the piece made me feel How do y ou define the infinite? Itoo found that words were not really enough. Help people wrestle with a faith that has obviously given you a lot.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1214
1214
Review of Jesus is Lord!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Ruwth asked me to review for her

Overall impression of piece You definitely have a definite and unique perspective. I can hardly imagine what it might be like to be where you are. I have thought about volunteering for such programs but have a medical thing that might make me not eligible.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Starting a sentence with a but is not helpful. It is to tie it to a another sentence.

What I liked?*Smile* You used examples out of your own life to back up your statement of faith. This is definitely a century of martyrdom. More have died this century than any other. It is good to get the Chinese experience firsthand.

What I disliked*Idea*: Banquet in the presence is a good image but I would fill it out some. Ending with sometimes a burden kind of needs to be filled out a bit. You have a thing about being baptised into a Baptismal by immersion and I really think you are trying to get to total immersion in Christ. There are verses that talk about this. It is hard to make the parallels

How the piece made me feel This is real Christian living to be put on the spot like this. 10/11 apostles were martyred. The name witness is actually the greek root for which we get our word martyr. This is Christianity on the front lines and it is nerve racking. Chinese were asked if they wanted Americans to help in their evangelization between China and the Holy Land. They said no. Americans do not know how to suffer.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1215
1215
Review of Jesus Is Lord  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Ruwth asked me to do some reviews. I am not a part of judging

Overall impression of piece: This seems very real. No one ever said that Christians will have a life without problems. Several believers had depression issues so you are in good compnay

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* biblical truth is well interpreted and your examples are personal and can be related to by many. I think your take home message is vibrant and to the point.

What I disliked*Idea*: Scripture seems a part of your personal life, but necessarily a part of this piece. I would consider just using the part of separating from the love of Christ. I think maybe there is a bit too much to digest and make sense of. Second part is not really referred to at all. He is Lord. We are in absolute agreement. We want a democracy. that is not the way it is.

How the piece made me feel Kind of ends on a factual note. Could be a little more out related to others. I am glad you don't portray yourself as perfect. We only have one who was and it is not us.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1216
1216
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw this in the spiriitual newsletter. I see the different perspective. You are right. We lose what we are about. Jesus had a tremedous sense of humor. Most Christians do not.

Overall impression of piece: Kind of a funny piece. Intersting ina Christian world they can't recognize a pagan symbol. How do we recognize people? Generally it is by their heart condition. Joy is a part of that.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Well constructed. You write well

What I liked?*Smile* I celebrate your different way of looking at things. It what gives us new and differing perspectives. You don't have to be like me. Christians have bling-blig. Don't even doubt it for a momment. What we have should be on the inside apparent as what we ware. Often it is a different perspective.

What I disliked*Idea* Christians are 87% judgemental. It is the most noted quality. I am afraid you will take some heat on this and will apologize for them. The spiritual world touches us all. Great sentence. I do believe it. Give examples of what you are talking about. You are the second Wiccan I have reviewed so you are not a majority. You need to broaden out where you get examples from and perhaps appeal to more readership. We are not as different as we would like to think

How the piece made me feel There is meant to be joy in the universe. There is more to the world than individuals. If we can't relate, it doesn't matter.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1217
1217
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review

Overall impression of piece: I guess I can understand this. I wish I had 20,000 to give some organization, but as a volunteer for the zoo most of my clientele is 5 to 7. none of them come to the zoo to be miserable. I think we learn that. I guess I would wonder why that is. There is a universal longing for more, but a lot of times we lose track of what that is

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* This is masterfully done. Your hero makes a substantial change in 296 words. There is a reason for the story. I always like that. I have to be able to answer the question, am I better because I read this. Bless you for telling us what the magic words were. A lot of times that is omitted. You use them seamlessly in the story. You have a lot of humanity here. Buying your way out of a banquet. Getting roped into something by your secretary--although I would use a wife.

What I disliked*Idea* I wouldn't change anything.

How the piece made me feel Something sounds true, even if it isn't. This fits the criteria

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1218
1218
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Saw this in the spiritual newsletter. I like doing newbie reviews

Overall impression of piece: This is impressive. The depth of thought in this is more than the biography you listed. Of course, you didn't list any. It would be best to know more about you. If nothing else, you write interestingly

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact.

What I liked?*Smile* Any fool can count the seeds in an apple but not many can count the apples in a seed. (schuler) A seed inducted into life is an interesting choice. Being ex military, I thin k being inducted into the service. Perhaps even a little more to say what you mean here. It has at least two definitions. We are actually all made of stardust, the explosion of so many years ago. Creation keeps progressing through time. it is not over yet.

What I disliked*Idea* You have some foregn sounding religious word that won't resonate with many. I would describe what you mean. Cabin seems to be a digression. It seems to be the seeds story so I would possibly consider starting in paragraph 3. Nirvana will turn people off or confuse them. As a Christian, I am ok with the thought. Just explain it

How the piece made me feel There is good stuff here. You see things well and seem to cross beyond the cause and effect world to something else.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1219
1219
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Return of review

Overall impression of piece I found this interesting. I value the opportunity to read it. This is honest. There are a lot of dishonest writers that write what they are supposed to, not what they feel. This is not one of them

Grammatical and spelling errors After beginning maybe a colon might be better. What you have is probably alright

What I liked?*Smile* I think most people on the planet would get this. "God, what were you thinking. You could have asked me?"

What I disliked*Idea* I am not much on answering a question with a question. I would like to see more of an ending. I think a lot of times the answer is wait. How long? Good question. I have done a lot of rebuilding during that time. The trench is obviously the deepest place on earth, but many might not know that.

How the piece made me feel Sometimes even to keep calling is a blessing. We know he hears us. Now what? It is so frustrating. I feel I should be one of God's mighty oaks. Maybe it will be just grass. I don't know yet. What is enough? It is a theme of my life lately

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1220
1220
Review of Birthday Surprise  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Random review. I like spiritual things


Overall impression of piece: Nice. Short and to the point. God is in everyday things. As a believer, it is easier to see these things. Co-incidence is God working annoymously

Grammatical and spelling errors: Seems intact

What I liked?*Smile* I like this is bringing God into the mudance. He truly cares for us. Great ending on this. Marriage encounter is a spanish word meaning more of a suprise discovery. God is full of those.

What I disliked*Idea* If God was talking to you, what did he say? I am playing the sceptic a bit here. God listens would be more appropiate. Who is this written to? If unbelievers, they would say coincidence. Perhaps need to deal with suggested negative arguments

How the piece made me feel A million times, sometimes after long waiting. I think Christians know to wait and not lose hope. it was inspiring. It made me think

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1221
1221
Review of No Easter Bunny  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: Was this ever a revelation to me. No easterbunny? Who knew? I keep waitin g for the knight on a white horse, but they don't come to the rescue. I think folklore is a reason for hope, even if, in our heart of hearts we know its not true.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads well

What I liked? *Smile* I was born in 1951. I think my era was a little more upbeat than today. I guess we believed those things. Faith wise and knowing the story of Easter, it is an abomination. There is no doubt about it. I can see why Puritans didn't like Christmas. I think they would really be abhorred today. On the other hand, we are not quite read to go back to the Puritan US of A. I think we like hope, even if it is stupid

Rhyme works well. There seems to be good flow to your writing

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought*: I didn't get a sense of closure to this. I would want to know how you feel and deal with this. I suspect you too see a place for magic, but it is a bit unclear.

How the piece made me feel: Thanks for the magic. You have dealt with a difficult subject. What is a Pagan symbol doing on a religious holiday

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1222
1222
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece Like non fiction. Had a certain amount of empathy to reading this.

Overall impression of piece: I grew up in Edmonton 50 years ago. The stuff about Revenue Canada is new to me, but I get the gist.

Grammatical and spelling errors

What I liked?*Smile* Comments about the family are pretty funny, although I hope you don't have these out there as real solutions. Some of these are pretty universal so are easy to identify with. Trouble happens in bunches and one bad thing follows another. We can identify with all of that.

What I disliked*Idea* You have a lot of disjointed thoughts that don't flow together as a whole./ I would have so overlaying framework for them What do they have in common? Some of these are funny, but some really are not. Most of this is in generalities. I think what you are looking for is to have others identify with you

How the piece made me feel I love my family--just not all the time. There are time limits put on my visits, for both of our sanities.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1223
1223
Review of Vacancy  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*UmbrellaG*Review of showering acts of joy*UmbrellaR*

Why I chose this piece I like nonfiction and I can identify somewhat with the situation. I lost my job after 38 years in the profession and 20 years at this place of employment. I was able to retire and even at a portion of my salary, it is not cost effective to go back to work. I Feel I have been freed up to do other things

Overall impression of piece: I do understand the despair of losing a job and how debilitatimg it is. I also know our family has lived one place and economically how difficult it could be to move. I can't say that what you say is wrong. It may be a bit short sighted as to the realities of what may be the issues.

Grammatical and spelling errors I am sorry, but or use a semi colon. Two spaces after a period.

What I liked?*Smile* this is kind of a massive pep talk to get beyond the doldrums of failure and absolute rejection. There is a place for this and it is warranted.

What I disliked*Idea* I like how you have dealt with the feelings. another thing is to deal with the reality. Who can help? What are my chances? You start out kind of general and end up with a specific heart-to-heart discussion. I would put some personal in earlier--especially if you have a success story

How the piece made me feel: This kind of comes across preachy. No one is convinced until they are ready to be. There is not enough here to make me sure you are right.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting.

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Peace and beauty in freefall
MichaelFrom Mountains
1224
1224
Review of Dilation  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: the whole idea of extraterrestial imput into our civilizations has long had adherents. Looking at Egyptians, some of them were pretty funny looking.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Menor isn't really a title so I doubt if it needs a capital.

What I liked? *Smile* This has a ton of evidence in the real world. Why do some of these engravings look like spacemen in helmets.? Some societies were several 100 years ahead of the rest. Reason is unknown, but you premise is as good as any. Can you imagine being addressed by a squid?

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* Time dilation needs a sentence or two more explanation to sell it as actually happening. Monk-type seems a little stilted. Either they are or not. There was a squid thing and than an 1800 perfessor is a bit unexplained.

How the piece made me feel: This got the creative juices flowing on this one. Your work is notable and kind of fun.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
1225
1225
Review of Sleeping Tigers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Review of showering acts of joy

Part of the SAJ garden;

Overall impression of piece: I volunteer at a zoo and I don'tthink we are talking about those kind of tigers. Rating is definitely noted and approriate. I don't think this is for every one and takes a certain amount of adult sensibilities to make sense of it. Tigers are stealth hunters and can close the last 80 yards in thee steps. Men, I fear are kind of that way. This isn't a conquest. It is a relationship.

Grammatical and spelling errors: Reads well

What I liked? *Smile* This is full of evocative imagery. No one can say, they don''t know how you feel. I think we have all felt that way at times. I not only see what is going on; I feel it.

What I disliked. Something to think about. *Thought* I sense you have intrinsic good in you that you have not really contacted yet. You are better than you give yourself credit. Unless you are dating a saint of the highest order, than denegration of yourself seems unnatural

How the piece made me feel: Are you good enough being you? Are we in this world to be perfection? As you get older, you realize how far y ou are from that ideal. Maybe age makes you more forgiving. I look at relationships as there has to be something else. Let face it. Even non-stop excitement gets boring. Affection for pain doesn't seem to be a good trade.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of reviewing today.
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Michaelfrom Mountains
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