Initial Impressions
This is the beginning chapter to a novel. It immediately engages the reader.
Plot Summary
A forty-nine year old woman, freshly divorced moves into her new home in Florida and meets one of her neighbors.
Characters/Characterization
Lynn, ready to rediscover who and what she is, is revealed to the reader through conversation and glimpses of past memories. As her character emerges, contrasted with a reluctant real estate saleslady and compared to her older sister, Justine, more and more the reader is shown that Lynn is a woman, finally, coming into her own.
Improvement Possibilities
Within paragraphs 3-7, the movers finally arrive and next words are about paying him. There needs be something happening between the two sentences...a comment about their being finished so quickly or slowly or.... otherwise the time transition is too quick.
Para 9. "The real estate broker had shown me three houses in this neighborhood and, to make them sound precious, she referred to this one in disparaging terms while we were driving on the street in front of it."
This sentence is a bit awkwardly phrased. Did you mean three 'other' houses besides this one? I know you want the reader to see that she was trying to make the 'other' houses sound better by disparaging this current house, but this really isn't as clear as it might be.
Para 14. "“Oh, I wouldn’t call it a canal,” she said. “It is the tip of one of the forks of the St. Lucie River. And this house is at the end of the tip. In other words, here you have the river-view." Wouldn't the real estate lady simply say that it is actually the river? Current sentence construction is wordy, and difficult to understand.
Para 15. "(the river)lay untormented inside its dark cloak speckled with fallen tree branches, leaves, and water plants" Not sure about the use of the word 'untormented.' Calm, serene, peaceful, perhaps. Untormented makes the reader think that something else IS tormented....besides, it isn't a word.
Para 15. "Several egrets by the water clapped their wings " Vivid, alive image, especially as it reflects how happy Lynn is, as if the egret were applauding her arrival! Excellent!!
Para 17. 2nd sentence. Remove the first 'too.' It isn't needed and the repetition detracts from the thought she's making.
Para 38. A writer needs to be careful when mentioning statues and laws. According to " Florida Stat. § 689.25 provides:
(1) (a) The fact that an occupant of real property is infected or has been infected with human immunodeficiency virus or diagnosed with acquired immune deficiency syndrome is not a material fact that must be disclosed in a real estate transaction.
(b) The fact that a property was, or was at any time suspected to have been, the site of a homicide, suicide, or death is not a material fact that must be disclosed in a real estate transaction.
(2) A cause of action shall not arise against an owner of real property, his or her agent, an agent of a transferee of real property, or a person licensed under chapter 475 for the failure to disclose to the transferee that the property was or was suspected to have been the site of a homicide, suicide, or death or that an occupant of that property was infected with human immunodeficiency virus or diagnosed with acquired immune deficiency syndrome. "
Thought you might want to know. It struck me as odd, so I checked. Other readers might well do the same.
Now if this is a device to bring up the death for somewhere down the story line, perhaps the real estate lady could say that 'altho this isn't required, I think you should know that there was a death here, etc..
para 43. Who died in (this) house. {at this point they are still at the house.}
para 52. Check agreement ...less of a rash decision (singular) than that [then two things listed]...should be than those.
para 53. Being five years older than (I) also...secured is a bit awkward here...perhaps assured would be better.
para 55. 3rd sentence ends with a fragment.
para 58. flickering lights and shadows dancing through the dark embroidery of woods <--------crystal clear imagery...well crafted....as is ----> mystifying night sounds hissed and whispered, sending their intuitive vibes
para 59. This river was grabbing hold of me like a dream solidified. YES!!! Great Line!!!
paras 60 and 61. These two paragraphs are priceless!! The descriptions offered are humorous and I give the character credit for not running screaming into the house!
para 62 It continues here with descriptions including the following: "he sounded more like ancient windpipes playing Bach in mournful tones. In joint consciousness with him, I listened. His grandeur had blinded the full moon." EXCELLENT! You have a exceedingly facile touch with description!
Final Thoughts.
Almost 5000 characters and almost two hours after I started this, I reach the end of what must seem like an endless review. Sometimes, I'll review a piece that is full of errors and little else. Sloppy errors, lack of proofing or simply in a rush to post something, anything. Here, clearly, this is not the case.
This review, I happily spent a lot of time on because you are a fine writer and the bones of this beginning are firmly in place. Structurally, this piece is fine and all of these corrections or comments are, essentially, (for the most part) minor details that disappear with the revision and editing that I know you do! Perhaps some would question the rating I've given this. Again, the corrections needed are relatively minor, and the meat of this beginning deserves no less!
I am eager to read more, although, I don't think I'll be writing this in- depth of a commentary on your other chapters...at least, not tonight. But I can't wait to read the next three chapters!
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Welcome Crystaldawn!!! 
Initial Impressions 
What I liked best...lines or word combinations 
Improvement Oriented Comments 
While there is a bit of description (other people at the station...the outdated and worn clothing she wears) I think that this piece could use a bit more description to make the setting come much more alive. More details would add much. Train stations tend to be bustling, hurried places with a variety of emotional states surging all around. I did not see this here. More description and details would bring this story more life. For example, she is taking the train to 'New York.' Where is she now? New York or New York City? Why NY? Big place to go with no specific destination in mind...or is she planning on the overwhelming bigness of it to be lost in?
What needs work