This is a good poem with a strong message. There are a few grammatical errors I noticed. You have commas after every line, which means this poem is one, long run-on sentence. Try adding some periods and maybe a colon or semi-colon in a few places.
Also, in the second stanza, I noticed a few things. In the third line, I believe "its" should be "it's". Then in the last line of that stanza, you have the word "fell" but I think you meant "feel". In the third line of the third stanza, you need to capitalize "I".
My favorite part:
"You'll get nowhere by testing me,
Please just believe my love is true,
Though I doubt i will ever say it,
I want no one except you,"
Hi SWPoet,
This is a beautiful tribute to your son. It's something he will always have. I don't see any grammatical errors. The poem has a very nice flow.
My favorite part:
"For I will dwell in him someday
to guide him when he’s grown
Don’t you worry mother fears,
he’ll never be alone."
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece...and a part of yourself. Keep up the good work!
Awww, aren't dogs the best? This is such a sweet, touching tribute to your good, old girl. I can definitely relate to this. My dog will be 14 years old this summer. I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. She doesn't seem to realize her age or limitations though - she still runs around like a puppy! Here's a picture of my good, old girl "Invalid Item" .
Thanks so much for sharing such an adorable poem. Keep up the good work!
I agree with you that being in love can certainly illuminate your aura. This is a great poem! The reader can almost feel what you're writing and relate it to their own personal experience(s) in love.
Grammatically, I don't see any errors. Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work!
How do we know if this is love? :) This is a cute poem asking the questions we have all asked ourselves at some point in our lives.
Just a few grammatical things. In your last line, "joyfull" is not spelled correctly. It should be "joyful". Also, since these are questions you are asking, should have question marks??
This is a very good poem. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
This is an extremely powerful poem about the last moments before a loved on dies. I was there when my father passed away so I could relate to this poem.
There's only one grammatical error that I noticed. In the last line of your second stanza, I think instead of "hold", it should either be "holds" or "is held". Other than that, this is great.
What a beautiful tribute to your beloved siblings. How awful it must have been for you to not only lose them, but lose them both in the same month. My heart goes out to you.
Thank you so much for sharing such a deeply emotional poem. Keep up the good work!
Life is definitely a gamble and made up of the many choices that bring us to today. I really enjoyed this poem because I could relate to it in so many ways.
There's only one grammatical error (or it might be by choice). In the next to the last line, I think there should be a comma after "Alas".
Wow, whoever she was did a number on you, didn't she? I like the way you used the ocean, waves and sand castle as metaphors to describe your turbulent relationship and new beginnings.
I don't see any grammatical errors. Your poem flows nicely.
I hope you realize that they are plenty of fish in the sea (pun intended) and that not all women are like this.
What a truly touching and heartfelt poem. It certainly pulls at the heartstrings. I don't see any grammatical errors and the poem seems to flow nicely.
My favorite line was the last one. I believe that people know when they are about to die. Somehow, they just know.
I'm speechless. I know how difficult this must have been for you but the most important thing is that you, Dean and your cat survived. Remember that always! Things can be replaced - you cannot. I know that all too well.
Thanks for sharing such an emotional and personal piece.
This is such a beautiful poem. Truly heartfelt - I could definitely feel your anxiety!
The only grammatical error I see is in the last line of your first stanza. You are missing the last period of your ellipsis. Other than that, I don't see anything wrong with it.
This is a great poem! Unrequited love is something I'm sure everyone goes through at some point in their lives and, more often than not, it's a friend they love. I know I've certainly be there. Thanks so much for sharing your personal experience with unrequited love. I hope it all works out for you. Have you told your friend how you feel?
This is a very creative piece. It asks a quite complex question. You could ask a hundred different people what hunger means to them and you would probably get a hundred different answers. Thanks for sharing what it means to you.
I'll be sure to check out more of your work when I get a chance. Keep up the good work!
I really enjoyed this poem. It's very well written and flows nicely. Although it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it's also true that beauty is only skin deep. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work!
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