Julie D - PUBLISHED!'s (geminipoet) Reviews

Julie D - PUBLISHED!

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682 Public Reviews Given

728 Total Reviews Given

51

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#3545905

Review of Yorlan, Fool for Love

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

This review brought to you by "Invalid Item"

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Hi Jakrebs

,
I'm reviewing your short story, "Yorlan, Fool for Love"

.

Title

This is an excellent title! Sooner or later, we all become fools for love. Great play on words!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. I must say, you have quite the imagination. What an amazing tale you've told!

Wizards, love, devotion, dragons and humor all in one. What more could you ask for?

I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

This was an absolute blast to read! Your creativity shines throughout this comical tale of fantasy. I enjoyed the whole piece, but my favorite part was your ending. I love that there was a happy ending for both Yorlan and Vassimaral.

Admit it, you're secretly a hopeless romantic, aren't you?

Your third place win for this piece was very well deserved. Congratulations!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3545400

Review of 30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

This is such a great idea!

This is one challenge I can't wait to "face".

Thanks for putting together such an awesome thing that we can all enjoy. I'm really looking forward to participating...and I absolutely can't wait to see what the prompts are!

53

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#3545331

Review of heeeelp!

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This review is given on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This item was selected as one of the reviews of the week in the "Simply Positive Review Forum " .
CONGRATULATIONS!

Hi Fyn

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "heeeelp!"

.

Overall Impression

This was very cute and a little creepy, too.

I'm with you because I hate spiders as well. Eeeewww! I'm guessing you were able to come up with the ransom to get your freedom back?

This really was a cute and very original idea for a fundraiser.

There was only one minor misspelling that I wanted to point out. The rat's name is spelled two different ways. In the beginning, it's spelled "Ruudyard" and, at the end, it's "Ruuyard" (missing the first "d").

You have a very creative mind and I truly enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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54

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#3545320

Review of ABC Contest Entries

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This review is given on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This item was selected as one of the reviews of the week in the "Simply Positive Review Forum " .
CONGRATULATIONS!

Hi kiyasama,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing "ABC Contest Entries"

.

Overall Impression

Wow, that's about all I can say. Wow! I don't know how you were able to do not one, but two, ABC entries. They follow the prompt well...and they actually make sense.

That's a rather impressive feat!

I already knew you were a gifted writer, but these just blew me away. They're excellent and very deserving of the 2nd place win in the contest!

Great job!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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55

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#3544412

Review of Taking a Stand

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

This review is brought to you by "Invalid Item"

for your winning bid on Package 15. CONGRATULATIONS!

This is review #3 of 3.

Hi Jeff

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "Taking a Stand"

. I would like to start by saying that I am not very familiar with this style of writing so I can't speak to the form. I can, however, offer my input on the story itself. I hope you find it helpful.

Title

What an interesting title! If only more people stood up for what they believe in, the way young Ellie did. She ended up being a hero by helping out her hero. That's very cool

and very well done!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. I like the imagery used to describe the Constructs and the tunnels beneath the city. I could picture them in my mind as I read your story.

The Constructs being cold, unfeeling pieces of metal hastily thrown together. The tunnels a dark, damp, eerie place that chills you to the bone and makes the hair stand up on the back of your neck. I imagined them being similar to an old, abandoned coal mine.

There is only one slight grammar issue that I noticed and that is the following:

"His title may say Governor, but everyone in Capitol City new knew Dictator would have been more appropriate." ("new" should be "knew")

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This was the first steampunk I've read and, I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I wasn't sure I would.

Again, I can't really speak to the form, as I'm not that familiar with it, but you've told a wonderful story. The characters were well-defined and played off each other's strengths and weaknesses. I also liked that your ending was left open. You can build off that by adding to this story or by writing a sequel.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3544388

Review of Legacy

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

This review is brought to you by "Invalid Item"

for your winning bid on Package 15. CONGRATULATIONS!

This is review #2 of 3.

Hi Jeff

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "Legacy"

.

Title

This is a great title. It suits your story well. I like that it gives no hint as to the content within. It leaves the reader open for a great surprise.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is superb! There was such a strong sense of tradition and family written into this story. The familial duty the eldest son of each regent must fulfill seems daunting and doomed for failure, but what a twist your tale offers.

I thoroughly enjoyed the role that the power of the written word played in this piece.

It's quite inspiring!

I see no spelling or punctuation errors. You did a marvelous job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

I have none. It's great.

Overall Impression

This was another wonderful read. For me, personally, the sense of pride and family really pulled at my heartstrings and struck an emotional cord. I've been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster for the last week between Father's Day and the anniversary of my dad's death. Love, legacy, honor and tradition all come together in this piece as the regents fight to preserve their way of life for generations to come. This was very well written, artistic and a delight to read.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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57

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#3543720

Review of The Futurist

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

This review is brought to you by "Invalid Item"

for your winning bid on Package 15. CONGRATULATIONS!

This is review #1 of 3.

Hi Jeff

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing "The Futurist"

.

Title

This is a great title for your fictional interview entered in the July 2010 "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest"

contest. Futurism/futurology is an interesting "science". I have that in quotes because I don't believe it's an actual science that can be analyzed and scientifically proven without question. Based on your mock interview, I have a feeling I'm not alone in that belief.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is excellent. I like how you told the majority of this story through the dialogue of your two fictional characters.

The exchange back-and-forth between these two was extremely well-written. This tète-à-tète was dripping with sarcasm that the reader can easily pick up on due to the well-orchestrated words you've chosen. I actually laughed out loud after a few of the retorts.

The banter among characters is right on (or should I say write on?

) because it's fast-paced and direct, which makes for a quick, enjoyable read. It holds the reader's interest from beginning to end. The light nature of the topic was a good choice as well.

I noticed only one minor grammar issue, in the following part of the interview:

"KVO: People pay other people to write letters for them, answer phones, even pick up the laundry or drive the kids to school. Why wouldn’t people pay someone else to guess what future has in store?"

Your question is missing the word "the". It should read as, "Why wouldn’t people pay someone else to guess what the future has in store?"

As I mentioned, it's a very small thing. Other than that, the grammar is impeccable. Well done!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

This isn't really a tip for improvement, but it's something I found that I thought I'd mention. The link to Forbes in your author's note isn't working, so you might want to take a look at that.

Overall Impression

This was a creative and wonderfully imaginative piece. By the way, what was the prompt? It has me curious.

I thoroughly enjoyed this interview and look forward to reading/reviewing more of your work. I found it interesting that you compared it to meteorology. I find that analogy spot on. Don't even get me started on that particular "science".

I loved the "epilogue" you included at the bottom. That is classic!

It was a great touch and an excellent finish. You get two big

for that!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3538500

Review of Reflections

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This review is brought to you by "SHERRI'S HAPPY HOLIDAY AUCTION CLOSED"

for your winning bid on Package 18. CONGRATULATIONS! This is review #2 of 3.

Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Reflections"

.

Title

This is a wonderful title and a poignant reminder that we should all take the time to reflect and remember. If you get the answer to your question, "what's this life all about?", can you fill me in? I haven't been able to figure it out yet.

Flow/Rhythm

Your flow and rhythm are quite good, but there are one or two areas where I got a little hung up. I have listed them below.

Your second stanza is as follows:

"It occured to me, then, that the stars out tonight
aren't arranged as they were in times before.
They have not dimmed; they shine just as bright.
They've just moved on; it's their nature to soar."

The first two lines are throwing me off, just a bit. What if you were to change them ever so slightly?

"It occurred to me, then, that the stars out this night
appear not to be arranged as they had been before."

That is just a suggestion, of course. This is a wonderful poem that is great as it is, too.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. It's emotional and as deep as the water the moon is reflecting on in the lovely picture you included.

I see only one minor spelling error. In the first line of your second stanza, the word "occured" should be "occurred". I see no punctuation errors.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This was an enjoyable read that had me thinking, and reflecting, on those I've loved and lost also. It's these quiet moments of solitude, like watching the sun rise or set, that allow us to consider where we've been, the direction we're going and those we've encountered along the journey known as life.

My favorite part is the following:

"Those special ones who've touched our hearts
are held within, never far from mind.
Like the stars, their beauty never departs.
They're always with us, in memory, entwined."

That's such a beautiful way to put it. It made me think of my parents. I think of them, love them and miss them every day. I know I always will, until the day comes when we're reunited in Heaven.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3533423

Review of ONE DAY AN ANGEL

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This review is given on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This item was selected as one of the reviews of the week in the "Simply Positive Review Forum " .
CONGRATULATIONS!

Hi SHERRI GIBSON

,
I'm reviewing your poem, "ONE DAY AN ANGEL"

.

Title

This is a wonderful title for your lovely poem. I have to tell you that I disagree slightly.

You're not going to be an angel someday, you already are an angel!

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows well from line-to-line. All of your breaks are appropriately placed. It has a nice rhythm to it also.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is excellent. It's thought-provoking, spiritual and deeply emotional. I see no spelling or punctuation errors.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None, it's perfect just the way it is.

Overall Impression

This poem was so beautiful and inspiring. You paint a lovely picture with words. I believe your vision of what it will be like to be an angel is spot on. My favorite part is the following:

"Walking through the pearly gates of Heaven that are as beautiful as can be,
hoping when looking up to see a brilliant star, that you’ll think of me."

It closes your poem well. It's also a wonderfully, sweet sentiment.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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60

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#3533403

Review of Fairy’s Favor

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

This review is given on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This item was selected as one of the reviews of the week in the "Simply Positive Review Forum " .
CONGRATULATIONS!

Hi Joy

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Fairy’s Favor"

.

Title

This is a wonderful title for your poem. I remember my excitement, as a child, while waiting for this particular fairy's favor. I used to think I was rich when all I got was a dollar! Oh, the innocence and naiveté of children.

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows so well it's almost lyrical. I could absolutely see this being set to music and turned into a song for children.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. It's easy to understand, making this a wonderful read for children. I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

This was a wonderful, enjoyable read. It brought me back to so many pleasant memories of my own childhood. My favorite part of your poem is the following stanza:

"Her halo, in lavender hue,
She stood up feeling blue;
Her fairy face sparkling ire,
She stomped her feet with fire."

Your vivid use of imagery had me actually picturing this in my head. I imagined her looking similar to Tinkerbell.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3531145

Review of Awardicon Envy

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi Jakrebs

,
I'm reviewing your poem, "Awardicon Envy"

. Oh. My. God. I laughed so hard reading this I had to wipe the tears from my eyes before I could even write the review!

I absolutely adore your sense of humor. I know I've said that before but it's worth repeating.

Title

I love the title! It's an extremely clever play on words.

Flow/Rhythm

The flow and rhythm of this poem are awesome. You've done a great job with the rhyme scheme also.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is unique, sarcastic and downright HILARIOUS! It is fantastic! The only grammar issue I saw was the following:

"And so I beg you Culraven". Since you're addressing Culraven, there should be a comma before and after the name so it would read, "And so I beg you, Culraven,".

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

Has this contest ended? If it has and this poem didn't win an awardicon, I'm going to give it one! The originality and humor of it definitely deserve to be awarded. Thank you for the laugh...I really needed one today!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3530848

Review of Wall

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This is review #2 of 3 as part of Package 21 in "Invalid Item" . CONGRATULATIONS on your winning bid!

Hi Finn O'Flaherty

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "Wall"

.

Title

I like this title. The abruptness of that ended his happy, childhood memory was almost as if he had hit a wall.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. It's clean and simple and tells the story quickly, which is exactly what the "15 for 15" contest is about. Just a few grammatical errors to note.

You have the following sentence:

""Captain, you are needed on the bridge," he dropped his childhood and his arms at the same time and came crashing back in to the 23th rd century." Commas are needed after "captain" and "bridge". Also, 23th should be 23rd.

There's one minor change to the following sentence also:

""I'm on my way.," he said." The period after "way" should be a comma.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This was a great read with quite a twist. When I read the first paragraph, I was imagining that this was going to be a story about a young boy. I really enjoyed the futuristic twist! Another great story...you're quite good at this "15 for 15" writing! Well done!!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3530840

Review of Beach

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This is review #1 of 3 as part of Package 21 in "Invalid Item" . CONGRATULATIONS on your winning bid!

Hi Finn O'Flaherty

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your fiction item, "Beach"

.

Title

This title is great and it's a wonderful use of the prompt. I like the correlation between the sand on the beach and all the stars in the sky. Well done!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. It's incredibly descriptive from the details of the stallion to the intricacies of the grains of sand to Laine's thoughts and feelings. Just a few minor grammatical issues to note.

In the following sentence:
"She feeling the freedom of his moments, picked up a handful of sand and let it run through her young, delicate fingers."

This sentence should read as follows:

"She, feeling the freedom of his moments, picked up a handful of sand and let it run through her young, delicate fingers." I've added the comma after "she" to separate the fragment "feeling the freedom of his moments".

In your second paragraph, you have the following:

"Still in her trance she pulled her self up by his mane on to the strong solid black back."

I have three minor suggestions as noted below:

"Still in her trance, she pulled herself up by his mane on to the strong, solid black back." I placed a comma after "trance". This is an introductory phrase that needs a comma for clarity. The word "herself" is one word so I omitted the space. I've also added a comma after "strong". It separates the multiple adjectives used to describe the stallion's back.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This was a great read as one of your "15 for 15" entries! You really wrote this in 15 minutes? Wow, kudos to you!! I can see why this piece won that prompt. You did an excellent job!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3530009

Review of Before It's Gone

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi Amelia Faith

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Before It's Gone"

.

Title

This is a great title and a poignant reminder to be thankful for what we have.

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows beautifully from one line to the next. All of your line breaks are appropriately placed.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is excellent. The simplicity of it adds to the impact and gives the reader pause while reading it. Personally, when I was reading it, my thought was, "she hit the nail on the head with this piece". I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

This was a very enjoyable read. It's something that we should all read and remember. Life is just way too short to wallow in self pity. We need to be thankful for what we have today before it's gone.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3530001

Review of To My Biggest Fan

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hi Sandy B.

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "To My Biggest Fan"

.

Title

This is a wonderful title for the lovely tribute you've written to your husband.

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows well and your line-to-line transition and breaks are done well. Your poem has a very nice rhythm to it. One thing I did notice is that it appears you've written this as a traditional, or rhyming, poem. In our last stanza you have "love" and "stove". That's an "eye rhyme" where it looks like the words rhyme but they really don't. It doesn't detract from your poem at all. I just wanted to point that out.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your use of so many emotional, loving words truly represents the love and devotion you feel for your husband. I don't see any misspelled words but I do have a suggestion for punctuation. In your second stanza, you have the following:

"How can I express the love that I feel,
for a man so devoted, so proud and so real."

Since it's a question, my suggestion would be to replace the period a question mark (?).

Helpful Tips for Improvement

In addition to what I've noted above, my only other suggestion would be to possibly add some WritingML. It can add emphasis in specific areas. It would also be a little more aesthetically pleasing. Again, that's just a suggestion.

Overall Impression

This was a beautiful tribute to your husband. I'm sure he loved it!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3529064

Review of Sin City

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

This review is given on behalf of "SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" . This item was selected as one of the reviews of the week in the "Simply Positive Review Forum " . CONGRATULATIONS!

Hi Jeff

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "Sin City"

.

Title

Wow, excellent choice for a title! It describes your story so well in both the literal and figurative sense. Very well done!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. I liked that it's just a man, his thoughts and sinister acts with no dialogue. It was chilling and added to the eeriness of the tale you've written. I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

You've probably heard this numerous times already (if so, I apologize) but I really thought this was going to be a story about gambling. Boy was I surprised!

This was a wonderful read and not at all what I expected. I mean that in a good way.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3528897

Review of Haunted

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi London Rush

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Haunted"

.

Title

This is an excellent title. It's a chillingly accurate description of the plaguing memories that possess our thoughts and dreams of love lost.

Flow/Rhythm

You have a knack for creating free verse poems that flow easily. That's not an easy task to achieve. Great job!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. I could feel your pain as you recounted each memory that haunts you. I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Well done!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Absolutely none!

Overall Impression

You sure have a talent for free verse poems! As I mentioned, that's not an easy thing to do. Many of us write free verse but they tend to be "choppy". I know that my free verse poems are nowhere near as rhythmic as those you've written.

There were a number of things I could related to in your poem. I think what stands out most in my mind is the following:

"we talk so much and say
so little,
masks of joy and
the mirage
of moving on
keep me treading water
a little longer,"

That is great writing and I commend you for it!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3528175

Review of Book Ends

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi London Rush

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your monologue, "Book Ends"

.

Title

This is an intriguing title that has the reader thinking about the possibilities of all that could be contained within.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is awesome. I found myself nodding my head in agreement when you were describing Hollywood's version of the romantic comedy. It's so true...but I still love them!

I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

While I was reading this, I felt as though I were reading a bio (of sorts) of my own life quite a few years ago. I hope everything has worked out for you.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3528095

Review of Summer Nights

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hi London Rush

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Summer Nights"

.

Title

Great title! Summer is my favorite time of year. It always reminds me of warm, romantic evenings at the beach (or by the bay, as in your poem

).

Flow/Rhythm

Your free verse poem flows well and has a very nice rhythm to it.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is fantastic! It's a lovely re-telling of an enchanted meeting. I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Well done!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

This was a very enjoyable read. I liked the way you told this story of a chance meeting. I'm a hopeless romantic so it left me feeling nostalgic as I recalled memories of my own summer evenings. My favorite lines are the following:

"with closed eyes
you are all I see,
all I need
all I want"

Aw, that's adorable! Every girl wants to be adored this way.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3525493

Review of If.....

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with I.N.K.E.D.

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Paradoxical

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "If....."

.

Title

This is a very intriguing title. It leaves the reader wanting to know more because the title doesn't give the slightest hint to the content within. Great job!

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows well and has a nice rhythm to it. All of your line breaks are appropriately placed.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. It's fun and imaginative. I see no spelling or punctuation errors.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

The only thing I would suggest is possibly adding some WritingML to make it really...POP.

Overall Impression

This was a great read. It was a lot fun reading through these musings. My favorite lines are the following:

"If love will make us all a poet,
then every man alive should know it."

That made me laugh!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3524675

Review of Lingering Dreams

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hi 🌖 HuntersMoon

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your poem, "Lingering Dreams"

.

Title

A lovely title for a lovely poem.

Flow/Rhythm

Your poem flows and rhymes well.

All of your line breaks are appropriately placed giving it a nice, easy rhythm.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is wonderful. It's imaginative, descriptive and thought-provoking. I see no spelling or punctuation errors.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None, it's perfect!

Overall Impression

How could I give anything less than

for this beautifully-written poem by one of my favorite poets here at WDC! My favorite lines are the following:

"In a touch of perfume or the faint lilt of voices
I feel your presence and my heart rejoices,
warmed by the thought of you being near."

Such sweet, heartfelt sentiments for the one you love.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3524668

Review of People, people who need people

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hi Marsha Musselman

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "People, people who need people"

.

Title

This is a very interesting title. I'm guessing it was the prompt for the contest?

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. I like how this is like a dialogue. I felt as though you and I were sitting in a coffee shop chatting.

Just a few errors to note:

In the 3rd line of your first paragraph, there's an extra space between "are" and "usually".

In the 1st line of your second paragraph, "persons" should be "person's" (with an apostrophe).

In the 1st line of your sixth paragraph, "Wallmart" should be "Walmart" (only one "l").

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This was an enjoyable read. I've never worked in retail but I worked in the food industry in high school and college. I know just how mean and crazy people can be when they want something. It certainly makes doing your job difficult!

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3524636

Review of The Dragon Skin Coat

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi Legerdemain

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "The Dragon Skin Coat"

.

Title

An interesting title for an interesting story.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is great. I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Well done!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None

Overall Impression

I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I started reading this. I have to say that I was so pleasantly surprised!

This was a great story! You have such talent and a wonderfully creative mind. I will say that I was sad at the end, though, but that was definitely the way it needed to end. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it adds impact to your story. I could feel the loss even though it hadn't happened...yet.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3524226

Review of Honor + Service = Sacrifice

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hi Thaddeus Buxton Winthrop

,
I'm reviewing your letter from home, "Honor + Service = Sacrifice"

.

Title

This "equation" makes a wonderful title! It's so absolutely true also. Well done!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your wood choice is good. It's descriptive and will show the soldier that receives this letter how truly thankful you are for his/her service. I see no spelling errors. I noticed a grammar issue. It's the following:

"But with every heartache and heartbreak you experience at times. That the Good Lord will provide you with some peace of mind."

I think it should read as:

"With every heartache and heartbreak you experience, the Good Lord will provide you with some peace of mind."

Take a look at some of the paragraph spacing in that section as well. It looks like you may have wanted to break some of those thoughts into separate paragraphs.

Helpful Tips for Improvement

Just what I've noted above.

Overall Impression

This is a wonderful letter from home! I hope you do post it to the contest forum (if you haven't already). It's such an emotional letter and the soldier that receives it will feel honored that you are aware of his/her sacrifices. I love that you included the post script about your son's recent re-deployment to Afghanistan. That's a great personal touch that I'm sure they'll appreciate.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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#3523503

Review of The Ex-Girlfriends Club

Review by Julie D - PUBLISHED!

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeff

,
I'm Julie D - PUBLISHED!

and I'm reviewing your short story, "The Ex-Girlfriends Club"

.

Title

This is a great title! I just had to find out what kind of "club" it was!

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation

Your word choice is good. The dialogue made me feel as though I were a part of your conversation. That's always so enticing to me as a reader! I see no spelling or punctuation errors. Great job!

Helpful Tips for Improvement

None, it's great!

Overall Impression

Ummm, have we ever dated? No, seriously, have we?

This came up under my "random reads" and I'm SO glad it did!

I was laughing hysterically because I can totally relate. My friends and family have nicknamed me "Grace" (or "Gracie") because I am, by far, the least graceful person you could ever possibly meet. I've also been referred to as "an accident waiting to happen" because I'm so accident prone.

After reading your story I am now wondering if I have an "Ex-Boyfriends Club"!

This was an absolutely hilarious read that gave me a much needed laugh. Thank you for that! It certainly deserves the 2 awardicons it has received.

Thanks so much for sharing and keep up the good work! WRITE ON!!

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