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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/greenwillow
Review Requests: ON
779 Public Reviews Given
779 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
NSFW
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Uranus  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

The Read and Review button has given me one of your items again.

This is an amusingly nerdy poem which adheres to the facts as provided by a quick check of Wikipedia. For being a Doctor of Phoolishness, this is hardly nonsensical but rather informative. I can see the initial attempt at rhyming is given up in favor of a steady-ish meter, which is easy to read and lends a poetic feel without the strained triteness of rhyme. An interesting read which reminds one of the vastness and depth of the universe, and the long and arduous process of discovering what’s out there.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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2
2
Review of Aftermath  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

Yikes. I feel this. You’ve captured the emotional turmoil involved in so many things, from basic human relationships to big serious interactions that could change the world. It almost hurts just to read this, because I don’t know how many times I’ve felt like that myself. The lines are perfectly balanced and flow smoothly down the page, drawing us along through the narrator’s experience and tying the beginning and end together with steady repetition, adding a lyrical quality.

I would add “Drama” as a third genre, and depending on what your intentions were in writing it, a dropnote with some info about prompts or larger story arcs would be helpful. I see it’s in a folder with a name, possibly that of a character in a story project. Also, size 4 Verdana font is always recommended to ensure readability and accessibility across devices.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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3
3
Review of Wonky Steve  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

What a fun and humorous vignette of a character. He could almost be someone in the modern world at first glance, but we soon see that the setting is in an older world full of pirates, resembling Treasure Island. I can’t think of anything to improve upon here, but it depends on what role the character will play in your larger story. Is he merely a minor player, intended as comic relief or perhaps a foil to some more sober minded character? Or is he going to be the hapless protagonist who stumbles across a great fortune and perhaps becomes more developed and rounded out as he faces various challenges? It’s impossible to tell from this vignette, but it was definitely an enjoyable read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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4
4
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings,

Found this while using the Random Read and Review button again.

I love your summarization of Jane Austen’s writing style and the things a young lady needed to know and understand back then. This newsletter is informative and interesting, with an approachable and conversational style. The colored font is cute. You’ve shared some of your favorite things about your favorite author, and made us remember how much we also enjoy her works.

I think it’s quite a thought provoking idea, the balance of dialogue and narrative in a story. I try to use a lot of dialogue… in fact, I love dialogue as a way to draw characters and “show” without “telling.” It helps me avoid a “corny narrator voice,” which Jane herself probably wasn’t too concerned about, as I remember she had a pretty expressive narrative style. Most writers did back then; Charles Dickens, for example, used lots of telling in his stories.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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5
5
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

You write your opening chapter with humor, irony and warmth, describing the hard work you’ve put in to get everything ready for a day of fishing. Are the kids going along with you? Is it the weekend? The summer? Perhaps a little more descriptive scene setting would be nice, but I guess we all know what a lake looks like *Laugh*

As a recounting of a personal experience and your life story, I don’t want to make the same suggestions which I might if it were a fictional story. But any good story, true or imagined, has certain characteristics which make it interesting and help to make it more of a story than an “article,” for instance. These include goals, stakes, and obstacles, which drive character development and elevate conflict, which in turn makes us read on to discover the resolution. But you can tell your story just the way it’s going. I do like your style, which comes across as homey and relatable.

I have a couple super minor typos to point out:

~ still must dress, the kids, get an extra comma.
~ I also noted that this is also good “also” doesn’t need to be repeated.
~ explain them to them as we go unclear who you’re explaining it to.

Other than that, this comes across as an amusing and informative read. I look forward to checking out the rest of your entries.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*



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6
6
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m here for I Write 2024.

A brief and enjoyable story about a dishonest car repair shop owner who gets what’s coming. You have all the essential elements of a flash fiction: beginning, middle and end, well sketched characters, and a relatable situation with a good moral. We’ve all had experiences where someone was obviously lying, and it can be difficult to know how to respond. This was a satisfying ending as we see the brash and careless shop owner shown up by a smart customer (if he’s really smart he’ll have his car towed out of that shop - if Robert lies about being available, what else will he lie about?)

Grammar and spelling and all that are great; there was nothing here to pull me out of the story. I went along wondering what would happen next and if there would be a dark twist or something. I like the realistic “kitchen sink drama” type of setting you’ve chosen; it’s instantly recognizable and easy to follow.

Formatting is excellent - now that I asked SM how to fix the Comic font display on my iPad, I have nothing left to fuss about with that. I would recommend you add a third relevant genre to the item, since that will help you get more visibility and more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. “Career” or “Technology” would be fine.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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7
7
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Rick,

I found this with the Random Read and Review button.

A charming summary of what could be a long and fascinating fantasy saga, built with lovely picturesque language that captures the essence of the two fairy tribes. You show us the elements of what make them unique to the lands they hail from, and we see the conflict between them as they try to acquire the magic crystal. The potential for a peaceful resolution is promised in the meeting of the two characters, and we hope eagerly for an expanded story someday to explore the colorful dynamics of this setting.

I have nothing to suggest other than perhaps a font enlargement (Size 4 Verdana is preferred) and a continuation of the story.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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8
8
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

This is a double fun review for me because it showed up using the Random Read and Review button. I love riddles, though I have a certain impatience with mind games and puzzles… I have a quick mind for the most part, but the silly thing about that is if a puzzle (those logic “fill in who did what when according to a few cryptic clues” come to mind) takes me more than ten minutes or so to figure out I’ll toss it aside or look at the answers *Rolling*

Fortunately, your creative approach to Pi didn’t take long at all for me to discover the inherent meaning built into it. And you didn’t drag it out too long, either, as we know Pi is actually an infinite number… an extra amusing touch is added by the observation that in fact, a title of two characters is too short. I’ve done that once with the subtitle… or was that a blog entry? Anyway, a thoroughly enjoyable read, carefully constructed and making perfect sense. The note in the subtitle about “purely platonic” and the general wording about the whole and the central concept reminds me of my Mom’s Philosophy classes she’s working on, taught by Dr. Roy Clouser, who studied under Dr. Herman Dooyeweerd many decades ago. Philosophy is a fascinating subject that can put you to sleep, paradoxically… *Sleeping*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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9
9
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings,

A cute chapter in a romance saga. You have all the elements of a good story and then some: likable characters with internal and external conflicts, love and snuggles, adventures, mishaps, misunderstandings, and questions that make us wonder what happens next. I may drop by your port to see the rest of the story. It reminds me a little bit of Snoopy’s attempt at the Great American Novel: “It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. The maid screamed. A door slammed. Suddenly, a pirate ship appeared on the horizon!”

But honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. It was a fun read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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10
10
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings,

This was fascinating and deeply alarming, as we see a timid and mild young man forced into a very strange position. As background for a novel, it does its job well, though I see some hints at the quickness or sketchiness of the writing. Your unique style is evident, showing more than you tell and making us read between the lines and pick up the cues of the context and setting. Remember as you write the novel, the four main ingredients of good literature: goals, stakes, obstacles and character development arcs.

I don’t have much to suggest here, but I’m pretty sure I want to know what happens next. (That isn’t a promise to get around to reading or reviewing the novel if you provide access, however. I’m terrible with big items. I’ve already forgotten about someone’s review request.)It provides a good opening. Will Gregor be the main protagonist, or is he the antihero who gets squelched in the end, or is it something else? Lots of potential here for a long fantasy saga.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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11
11
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings,

Nice! Allow me to waste your time with a complimentary review of this fun little quiz. I remember building my own quiz for "Game of Thrones and being a little confused by the possibilities of a “weighted” score or a non weighted one. I see now that such an option has a lot of potential for “labeling” people, like the pesky irresistible quizzes we take sometimes on websites with a million ads, which promise to tell you what kind of Squishmallow you are if you tell them what kind of movies, books, donuts and other things you like… *Laugh*

I can’t think of anything to correct or suggest here; it helped me understand the point of an element in the quiz building process, and it was fun and also thought provoking, as I chuckled and asked myself how happy my morning meal was and whether I care if the chicken came first or the egg (I don’t!)

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep up the good work *ThumbsUpL* *HeartT*

12
12
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I just couldn’t resist another one of your offerings here… I see this is a darker and more dramatic episode. You have painted an all-too-realistic picture of something that could easily happen in real life, with Mark’s foolishness leading to a terrible disaster. I marvel at how you can take a single prompt word and create a memorable story out of it. The little details of the car trip and the characters are easily visualized without being too exaggerated or stereotypical. The tension rises right from the start as we see Mark running and slowly guess what happened as the situation unfolded. We are left at the same spot we were in the opening, wondering what will become of Mark and feeling the distress of this cautionary tale. It reminds me of things I see in the news.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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13
13
for entry "Moss (June 19 - Moss)
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Another brief tale from your collection. The premise of those awful big box bargain basement gnomes taking over the neighborhood with moss is quaint and absurdly, darkly amusing. One can apply the theme to different situations; it makes me think of the issues of litter and “trendy trash” that goes from the store to the landfill all too quickly with disastrous consequences. I also can’t help being reminded of what it’s like to live in Florida for any length of time - Spanish moss has the same insidious properties of dank, humid, “murderous” takeover that your fairytale moss does. Indeed, I suspect Spanish moss is the cause of a lot of sickness that goes around down here in the tropics. Bleh.

It also reminds me of the “pillar of salt” story of Lot’s wife; one single failure or moment of weakness led to her demise, even as she understood the source of the problem. You’ve made a quick and creative tale which was a fun read.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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14
14
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Oh boy, this is hilarious. I half expected some dark twist to come along, as those are so common around here, but no, it’s a lighthearted adventure that would be really fun to read aloud to kids.

You’ve set up a truly preposterous situation and peopled it with two spunky young girls on a quest for super cheap donuts. Janet’s singleminded obsession with acquiring the donuts sets us up for lots of amusing back and forth as her more skeptical friend realizes the insanity of what’s happening. Yet they venture outside anyway and experience the total oblivionation (wait, I just made up a word…?) of a pesky little mountain which was in their way. No one gets hurt, and the donut acquisition process continues apace, with some new landscaping…

I love everything about this story; it really made my day to find it on the Read a Newbie sidebar. The writing style is bright and engaging, and the characters are well drawn and realistic. I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. I also recommend adding a primary genre other than “Contest entry,” which is considered a dud category. Three relevant genres helps others find it when browsing, and also gives more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. (Stop by the portfolio of Lilli 🧿 ☕ for anything you might wish to know about our yearly awards *Smile*) Anyway, I would recommend using “Science Fiction” as the primary genre and then “Fantasy” and “Comedy,” in that order.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*



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15
15
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ah, this is nice. I love short stories, and you’ve packed a delightful selection into this book. I’d love to browse and probably will over the next few days.

Your premise of having us watch the guardian angel at his first job is heartwarming and amusing. I wasn’t sure if there would be something terrible that might happen… I’ve read other “guardian angel and young racecar drivers” stories here, and they were a bit darker. This takes a lighthearted approach and ensures that all the main characters survive, with a cheerful sign off that hints warmly at more.

As a pint sized story, this has a casual, homey style, in the first person pov of the inexperienced angel. The plot falls into place with enough predictability to be a pleasant read, yet with enough tension and drama to keep us reading to the end.

As before (and I hate saying this several times over to the same person...) size 4 Verdana font. That's all I can find to make a suggestion about. This was enjoyable.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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16
16
Review of BLUE BOOKCASE  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I missed this when I conducted my Game of Thrones port raid in April *Laugh*

What a wonderful family member you had in your Granduncle while you were growing up. His wisdom and devotion and understanding reminds me of an uncle figure I have in my head who needs a story. I wish I’d had someone like that when I was a kid.

First thing I would suggest right off is using size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. Also, I noticed there’s a random comma between the fourth and fifth paragraphs up from the bottom. Also, I might question the use of all caps in the title.

Aside from that, your personal narrative is well written and clear, with a heartfelt theme of love and family. I appreciate your wanting to share this with us. Your Granduncle’s loving care is made clear in his hard work to build your bookshelf to your specifications, while instilling deep lessons on what he sees as the important things of life. While I don’t really agree with spiritual relativism as it relates to morals and worldview, I do think the world needs to be a kinder and more tolerant place, and it can’t be a bad thing to be assured of the safe passing of a loved one to a better place. The profound effect his character had on your life is a fine and heartwarming story.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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17
17
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, sir,

I do sincerely apologize for forgetting all about your review request.

This is an excellent beginning for a fantasy saga, built in a world that is solid and down to earth. The characters are well painted and distinct, with lots of potential for strengths and weaknesses to be played out in their interactions with one another. You have gathered them together and set up the “magic formula” for good storytelling: goals, stakes and obstacles, with character development arcs possible in the chances for conflict and growth. Remember to include internal conflict within the main character as part of a well-rounded saga.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You should choose a third valid genre for the book to ensure people can find it when they’re browsing. It also affords more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. “Drama” is a good catch-all genre. Word counts at the beginning of each entry or even included in the entry titles would be helpful for those of us who like shorter sections.

I enjoyed reading this and look forward to seeing what comes next.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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18
18
Review of Obayo  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I enjoyed reading this story and thought it was creatively rendered. The cultural details of the birds colorful feathers and the lush growth and the habits and names of the birds do a nice job of implying a tropical sort of setting, perhaps sub-Saharan Africa.

The narrative seems to lack any particular character development, in fact ending rather abruptly when the bird takes off in sheer fright. We are expecting an epiphany of sorts, but we simply reach the end. It falls flat, in a way. But we do get the essential idea, that sometimes someone is too terrified to do something until the consequences of not doing it are worse than those feared if the action is taken.

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. Also, you need two other relevant genres to help people find the story when browsing. You could use “Nature” and “Environment” for this item.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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19
19
for entry "mirror words
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m here again for I Write in 2024…

This is harder to review than your usual items, for sure. A mere thirteen words, all of which are palindromes, strung together in single lines which at first glance looks like a list and nothing more. I feel funny trying to ascribe meaning to a casual poem of this sort, but I suppose that’s what poetry exists for, to reflect the meaning one wants to pour into what they see.

First the time is revealed: high noon, which in the summertime is incredibly hot. The next three words seem to connect together, “deified pop solos;” it reminds me of the music I listen to on a summer’s day. The rest of the words give me the impression of a sunset or sunrise, something peeking over the horizon and seeing something surprising - wow!

I’m tempted to respond in kind, with a palindromatic review, but I don’t know how I’d go about doing that… a nut for a jar of tuna, anyone? That’s a phrase I learned from the Scroll games, actually. I once saw it illustrated on a game box (TacoCat!) and it was so cute, a squirrel and a shark…

I digress. Your poem is ingenious, creative, and allows room for the imagination. I can’t think of anything to suggest about it because it’s not really expected to be taken too seriously. Formatting is good, and the prompt is explained.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*



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20
20
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Oh dear… when I saw this on my iPad, the first two things I noticed were that the font is much too small, and you’ve used the dreaded “Comic” font, which on Apple devices appears as the almost illegible proprietary “Snell Roundhand,” and the difficulty is only made worse by the choice of font colors and a title line in all caps. But such formatting issues are quite easily fixed *Delight* I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font, and that will take care of everything. You can go ahead and keep the pretty colors because they do add to the nature theme.

I love poetry with a nature theme, and a poem with a spiritual understanding is even better. You’ve taken a life experience and described it in words that convey the feelings of peace and tranquillity which were present, capturing a fleeting moment forever in our minds and expressing your gratitude to God for the wonders He has created.

The verse flows well and is loosely rhymed, with nothing trite to distract from the theme. I like free verse because it doesn’t have to fuss over structure and form, simply saying things in the most direct and emotive way possible. Each word is carefully chosen and brings meaning to the poem. I greatly enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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21
21
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Good heavens, what a story. I’m so happy you were able to survive the trauma and experience healing and live life as it was planned for you. God had a purpose in the pain, and we can see Him working as he comforted you and even let you see yourself being operated on by doctors who knew what they were doing.

This is an emotional life narrative, well written and compact. I like the bold and italicized font which gives it visual clarity. As a personal story, I don’t have anything to suggest or criticize. You can tell it in whatever way you like. I appreciate the addition of years to give us a sense of time, and you’ve characterized your situation well without being too personal or complaining too much. It is heartwarming to see your faith grow stronger after the ordeal.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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22
22
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

What a charming introduction to your portfolio, Emily! I love the surfing theme and the way you’ve formatted it, with large clear font, cool ocean colors, and dozens of carefully arranged emoticons. (Those turtles… *InLove2*)

I also really appreciate the way you’ve organized it, with a section for very short stories and other bits and pieces, and a spot for longer items… everything is neat, tidy and easy to browse through. I saw many items I’d love to read, including one with a title featuring my username *Shock2* I noticed your items have a variety of ratings and a diversity of genres, plus you’ve won many awards. Even something as subtle as adding cover art to every item was not neglected, creating a distinct visual appeal and helping us decide which items might be more interesting. Overall, you’ve done a wonderful job making your port intro as bright and inviting as possible, and I simply can’t wait to dive right in!

I also find it fascinating how you’ve incorporated many elements and themes of your unique life experience into your writing, creating stories featuring Hawaiian topics.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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23
23
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, nothing like a little drama to keep things exciting. In the Air Tonight is a song that always unnerved me, and you’ve captured the essence of what it feels like in a nutshell in your poem. I like how you’ve included the background rumors about why the original song was written. I never bothered researching it, assuming it’s simply something that Phil Collin’s dreamed up in his head. As a young person, I’ve noticed a lot of his songs have somewhat unusual subject matter, bordering on the eerie or mysterious.

I would suggest using three appropriate genres for the item: “Drama,” “Mystery” or “Dark” would be suitable to help people find the poem when browsing. Aside from that I don’t have anything to suggest. This was haunting and eerie, just like the song, with a new twist as it’s addressed to a different character in the drama which unfolded and left such an impact.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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24
24
Review of Rain  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, more nature poetry. This one has a lovely flow to it, as if we’re singing to a child during the rainstorm. Knowing the background of the form you’ve chosen makes it more appealing, and we admire your adherence to the structure and the ability to create something simple, unique and meaningful out of it. I think perhaps if I were writing using this form I would tweak it by making the end lines rhyme with themselves to draw the poem together; I remember Robert Frost did something similar in his poem Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening. This would aid memorization. Which reminds me, this is such a nice poem that I’m sure I would have written it down and memorized it as a kid. I had a huge collection of poetry.

The words you’ve chosen paint a vivid picture of a passing rain, with appropriate sound words and the steady dripping of water into puddles after the storm is over. It’s instantly relatable and comfortable, something we’ve all experienced.

When I saw “invalid item” for the forum I assumed it must be a very old item, but seeing the date, I’d like to inquire if this was written for a contest hosted by former member Dr. Rupali Goswami. She made many helpful contributions to WdC, and she is greatly missed.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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25
25
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I love a good nature poem, and you’ve created a charming word picture for us here.

A family of geese plays in their native element, allowing us to see their distinct personalities as they grow and change in preparation for their migratory journey south. This is a fine rhyming story for children, teaching about the cycle of seasons, growth and renewal that makes up life. We see the graceful geese taking off in flight to their winter home, and we hope that they’ll be back next spring to raise a new brood of chicks. The meter romps along playfully, aiding the childlike feeling of the piece.

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You can also change the “contest entry” genre to “Nature” to help people find this when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


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