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Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
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Anything higher than 18+
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Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "July 16, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Dove*

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

I have a storied and awkward relationship with music, being both totally obsessed with it and at the same time woefully unaware of some of the best of it. Perhaps my neurodivergency makes it harder to step out of my auditory comfort zone. Thank you for making me aware of a piece of classical music; I shall have to hear it for myself.

"Rises and falls" - oh, I get that. I often consider the different elements of my favorite music, and marvel at how some songs are composed with "the same energy throughout," at a high level of audibility. Other songs have low-pitched, low-key verses that sink into the background, and sometimes the only way I can recognize them in a crowded space is by one or two hooks that rise above the din.

Ooh, two new words for the folds of the brain *Delight* How ever did I miss these in my biology textbooks? I was just remembering the xylem and phloem yesterday... *Tree2* *Brain*

I don't think I would have thought of rhyming "mission" and "contrition." That's ingenious. In my head I think of "contrite" and pronounce it accordingly *Laugh*

Thank you as always for a well-crafted and thought-provoking poem. I'm glad I found it; I learned several new things.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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2
2
Review of Different Crowns  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

I really enjoyed this story. It speaks about seeking after peace in a relatable way, set in the real world among young people of today dealing with today's issues, and draws in Christianity to address it in a spiritually satisfying way, rather than presenting some sort of wishy-washy secular attitude.

I would suggest you add an item link at the bottom to show what contest you have written it for. I also noticed a couple of typos... I detest trying to scroll back through an item and find the typos again - I wish I would take note as I'm reading *Laugh* Oh, here's one: where Evelyn says "What does that have to us?" It should be "to do with us." Other than that, nothing which majorly tripped me up.

I'm glad you entered this contest... I need to gather my overheated, summer-slump wits and put something together for it myself. I have plans to write something combining it with "Merit Badge Magic" Open in new Window., which oughta be fun. Good luck to you!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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3
3
Review of Broken English  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jack!

So, what kind of a name is Kitfox anyway *Rolling*

It's been almost a year since I first had access to this novel, and I feel funny admitting I hadn't gotten around to actually reading the whole thing until yesterday evening...

Once I sat down and caught up the threads of where I'd left off at the first few sections, I quite literally couldn't put it down. I never seem to have a spare moment, and I knew if I didn't read the whole thing at once it might sit for another six months. This was well worth missing a bit of sleep over... I haven't read an exciting and imaginative spy adventure since the Hardy Boys about fifteen years ago *Laugh* Remember, I haven't read a "professional" grownup novel since The Martian in 2019, so I'm probably easily impressed.

I really liked the way the protagonists' relationship developed over the course of the book; that was a creative and humorous, even relieving way to deal with what could have gotten them in trouble and made things hopelessly trite, complicated and tedious. I've thought a lot about such a dynamic myself over the years; it may show up in one of my stories someday.

That sneaky trick... I love how you hinted it right at the beginning when she arrived at work and it went totally over my head; I wondered what the point of that peculiar restroom conversation was! Everything tied up so well by the end. This is a fun premise to work with, and when venturing into a sort of scifi realm, it's easy to ignore potential logic or logistics loopholes as we get swept up in the drama and tension. I was at the edge of my seat as things unfolded ever so slowly, seeing glimpses of what was going on and wondering how many people would be dead by the end of it. I really expected one of the protagonists would be eliminated; those were some insane odds. It reminded me of the wild stuff people wrote during the 2023 WdC Anniversary Masquerade party... Long story *Pthb*

Your writing style is always appreciated, with amusing, wry conversations thrown in as characters with vastly different attitudes and backgrounds interact. I chuckled at the funny parts and grimaced at the "ouchies..." How did Kitfox remain conscious through all that? A side note on the "hand piercing:" the nerves could have been severed, rendering the thumb folded uselessly across the palm. I learned that from reading about the Shroud of Turin. I'm glad they don't use those office spike things anymore *Shock2* Which reminds me, the agonizing slowness and clumsiness of long-distance communication back then added to the tension... Faxes from Mexico! Satellite phones! A blast from the past, indeed.

Am I supposed to make some suggestions for improvement here? Can't think of any. I thoroughly enjoyed it. All the little realistic details and the ins and outs of law enforcement... Well done.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "July 7, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Smile*

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, the 7 syllable, 7 line poem. You've written a circular bit of philosophy here, using the prompt perfectly... except for the opening line. I'm pretty sure that only has 6 syllables. You can say "they say live for the questions" and that would make it flow better.

As for the philosophy here, it reminds me of some of the lyricism of Dan Reynolds, lead singer and songwriter for Imagine Dragons. It reminds us that life is meant to be lived and questions are meant to be asked... Whatever that means *Laugh*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review of Weighty Thoughts  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

Ooh, I love a good surrealist poem. This feels like Tim Cantor's artwork... In fact, the one for ID's Dream shows a little girl floating through an abyss, perhaps reminiscent of Alice... I should see what his website looks like since Reflections dropped... *Think* Don't mind me, I'm a born rambler *Bird*

You've captured the moodiness of waiting for something, we're not even sure what, but it must be quite important. Nervousness, jitters, imagining things, and a general sense of unease prevails here. I caught the "where in the hole..." *Laugh* did you do that on purpose?

Yep, not much to say here. You know I don't like to pick at poetry, and this is really good free verse, painting a picture of - ooh, "slideways!" A new word! Love it *Cool*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
6
6
for entry "Table it" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

Iā€™m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

This is a super fun and inviting poem, bringing up memories of parties and family. Iā€™m not a celebratory person by any meansā€¦ my 4th of July was spent running around getting a new used tire for my old minivan. Would you believe someone wanted to sell us a tire that was fifteen years old?! *Shock2* *Angry*

So yeah, I rarely celebrate anything, and indeed almost forgot why this prompt image was chosen, but I do love fruit salad and fruity everything *Hungry* Publix sells the best fruit salad and fruit on the bottom yogurtā€¦

Is there anything I can actually say about this poem? *Laugh* Youā€™ve captured the essence of a hot summer holiday meal, from the paper dinnerware to the burgers and hot dogs. Need I say more? Well done *ThumbsUpGreen*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
for entry "A Day At The Beach" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned *Smile*

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Wow, this is something. You've captured that picturesque sense of seashore and salt air and showed us how it lives in your soul and enlivens you. And your use of iambic pentameter is admirable. I also misread the prompt and had to stop myself like "wait, they didn't specify a particular meter form...?" *Confused*

I love how you've saved both versions for us to read and appreciate here. It makes it double the value. Perhaps a couple of strategically placed dropnotes would improve the sense of tidiness. Other than that, what an enjoyable piece. It feels like a true poem, like Emily Dickinson or someone from the 1800's.

In fact, I'll give the compliment I save for the extra special poetry: it's elegant enough to write out in fancy script and hang on the wall *Heartt*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *Writer*


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8
8
Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "July 1. 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings... Rather somberly.

Everyone's upset about the way this country is going, of course. Even the Rhythms and Writing song choice is revolutionary minded... Suitable for July, except I'm afraid I won't be able to write a compelling story that's not either "too timely" or not really saying anything at all. Social relevance is something I'm not experienced in putting into my writing.

So, yeah. This is a compelling visual, clearly expressing what we're all afraid of and can see happening in front of us. The Statue of Liberty might as well be sent to China and melted down for scrap, at this rate. Didn't she say "we welcome your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free?" No, now we're sending them to the alligators.

As always, I appreciate how you've drawn a tarot card and applied it to what the topic is. Your perspective is appreciated in a world where I never know what to say to who because I might offend them.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sonali!

I discovered this using the Random Read and Review button.

What a fun little story; when I first started reading I assumed they were little kids. It was a fun twist to discover they were all hard working teachers who were upset about "too much honesty" *Laugh*

I like how it ended, with friendship overriding what could have been super awkward for the rest of their lives! This was a great read, with large clear font and good formatting.

I would suggest adding a third relevant genre other than "contest entry;" you can say Melodrama, or Comedy, or Educational, or Friendship. You might also... Never mind, seeing how old it is, no one expects to be reminded of the prompt!

Congrats on your third place in What a Character! Glad to see you there *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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10
10
Review of The last walk  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025... And good grief, I almost forgot *Shock2* Would've had to apologize to Annette...

Aw, what a tearjerker. I remember stories like Old Yeller, from my childhood. I've always understood that pets have a shorter lifespan than humans, and adoption means heartbreak somewhere down the line. That's a large part of the reason I didn't grow up with animals in the household.

You've written with loving care, showing us a boy and his dog as they part ways on that final journey. With no corny promises of the Rainbow Bridge or whatever they call it, you focus on the beauty of appreciating the here and now, steeped in the natural rhythms of life in the bush.

I love the way you've used your local setting to show us something we may not always see. I'll have to look up the little Donkey Orchids. I grew up in a garden, so I know how enjoyable it is to go flower hunting and steep oneself in nature.

These are formative moments, and you've done a memorable job creating a situation which tugs on our heartstrings and offers us a reminder to treasure what we have while it is still with us.

I can't think of anything to suggest for improvement here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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11
11
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir!

I found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

I love the super quick and simple thought youā€™ve put out here for us: strength in weakness, building up by removing oneā€™s flaws and repairing the cracks. Itā€™s memorable enough to scribble out by hand and pin to a bulletin board.

I canā€™t think of anything that might be improved here, so consider this a kindly and encouraging note as I reach todayā€™s 7 badge goals *Smile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
12
12
for entry "The Little Things" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kazi!

I'm here for I Write 2025. This is such a wonderful writing and reviewing opportunity they've provided for us. I need to work on my last three blog entries for the Bard's Hall this week.

You're a gifted storyteller, with a poetic voice giving us comfort in what we see. You share a moment of love and joy, showing us how the smallest pleasures in life are the most precious. Capturing these little moments in a narrative form is something special. It reminds me to treasure the little blessings that might fall by the wayside.

I have an affinity for micro stories, myself; we call a story under 100 words a "drabble." In fact, I need to write seven of them this week for a project. Thankfully, I can usually dash off four in one evening *Laugh*

In all thoughts of the future, we must remember to say Inshallah, or God willing. Everything is in His hands. I tend to get so tense about deadlines sometimes.

Take care, thanks for sharing this beautiful snapshot with us, and keep writing *HeartT*


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13
13
Review of Promptly 4 and 5  Open in new Window.
for entry "Touch" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Beholden!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Ah, the sense of touch. So many nice sensory experiences there are in life: the fur of a cat or a stuffed animal, the roughness of firewood, the cold tile of a floor or the warmth of a thermos of soup.

You've captured some memorable sensory moments here; each one leads to the other in a gradual shift from miniscule to grand, all connected to wind and how it interacts with us in some way. I like the symmetry of it, the balanced line lengths, and the nature metaphors that add more to it than just the bare and simple feelings of "feeling."

I remember one time my mom borrowed a Nat Geo DVD from the library for us to watch, on the sense of touch. I was excited to find out more about the nervous system and perception and whatnot, but we didn't get past the first few minutes of it, because it started off by showing two people snuggling with too much skin showing... *Shock2* Since then, I've been wary of the subject of "touch" *Pthb*

You've made something quite picturesque and respectable here. It's greatly appreciated *ThumbsUpGreen*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
14
14
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

This is such a charming, relaxing poem. I love when you write about the time you've spent in Korea, it's always a learning experience. Using the senses to guide us through it keeps it grounded and real, just as if we were there with you in the springtime park.

The vocabulary is simple, perhaps even trite, but we don't ask for much when it's something warmly relatable like this. Our minds illustrate it for us *Painting* *FlowerP* *Butterfly2g**Butterfly2t**Butterfly2y* *Tree2* *Leaf2G*

Your formatting is always large and clear, and all the pesky details have been handled well. I might suggest using three valid genres for your book item, so it can be found when browsing for poetry. You could use Experience, Personal, Drama, Environment, Philosophy, Nature, Community or any number of others.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
15
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Review of Water  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Angelica!

Iā€™m here for I Write 2025.

A gripping story, this. I wasnā€™t sure if it was going to be a fantasy theme, where the unicorns were real, or if it was all just a mirageā€¦ oh no *FacePalm* Iā€™ve just reminded myself of a songā€¦
video ▼

Enjoy!

Anywayā€¦ yeah, this story had me on the edge of my seat. I didnā€™t want the soldier to die out there. ā€œDancing amongā€ should rather be ā€œdancing in,ā€ towards the beginning. Also, it should be clear from the opening that heā€™s driving the Jeep, otherwise we assume heā€™s walking. Also, the picture of the oasis at the end should be more clear. I didnā€™t immediately connect the almost crashing into the tree with ā€œooh, water!ā€ Even though looking back it should be obvious. Oh, I know, you can say ā€œno trees here,ā€ at the beginning. But itā€™s a desert, duh *Pthb* Donā€™t mind me, Iā€™m just ā€œbeing helpfulā€ *Laugh*

Great little flash fiction here, it captures a tense, vivid and surrealistic moment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
16
16
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Ned!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge *Smile*

Your poetry is always so poetic, even when youā€™re writing about mundane things. I like the large, clear font and the lack of frills or indentsā€¦ itā€™s like how I write my poetry until I start thinking it has to look ā€œfancy.ā€ I see also youā€™ve followed a ā€œsentencesā€ rule for capitalization of opening letters, guiding the words in a natural way and giving proper ending punctuation. I could take a few hints *Laugh*

Youā€™ve captured the uneasy weirdness of nighttime and silence, observing subtly that life is never truly silent, only varying degrees of quietā€¦ or is that disquietude? Sleep is always welcome, except when we need to burn the midnight oil. Creating in the stillness of the night is a special experienceā€¦ sometimes I feel like itā€™s easier to get the stuff out of me without the harsh light of day reminding me what nonsense it all is *Pthb* *Laugh* *Sleeping*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Kazi!

I'm here for I Write 2025 *Smile*

I love being able to include these blog entries at I Write; it's hard sometimes to feel noticed when blogging. My latest one, for example, has zero views since two days ago. No matter...

I love the large font you use on yours; it shows up even on mobile, where the sizes come across pretty standard. Sometimes I don't realize someone used default (too small) size until I look at it on my iPad.

Monsoon season? I pray there won't be disastrous flooding or anything. We're leaning into hurricane season here, and the weather people are saying it'll be bad.

Simple pleasures! Such a joy to consider. I just wrote an 8 line poem about some of mine yesterday "Re: EIGHT - 06. 16 & 17 & 18 .25"  Open in new Window. (I'll have to transfer it to my 8 line poetry book...) I'm not sure if you listen to much popular music, as a Muslim; I love music, but I'm super fussy about it for a lot of reasons. It's a simple pleasure for me.

Self harm is never a solution, and I admire your strength in not succumbing to it. Focusing on what brings you joy is helpful to overcome such feelings. I know how miserable I feel every month... Luckily my worst is only about 24 hours. I don't have any chronic pains, and for that I am grateful. Diet is a good thing to look at to make sure you have all the nutrients you need to stay healthy and reduce inflammation. Also, clean water is important. Exercise is another thing that keeps your body healthy.

And... I'm not a doctor, so disregard any of this if it's irrelevant. Best wishes for better days ahead *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
18
18
for entry "minute" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

Well, since you were kind enough to drop by my minute poem and express frustrated admiration for it, Iā€™ll have to see what you managed *Smile* (also, Iā€™m behind on my 10 PPC5 reviews this monthā€¦)

I see where you struggledā€¦ perhaps the peskiest part of writing a form poem is deciding on the subject. You can always make me chuckle with the fumbling ā€œwhy are they making me do this!ā€ sort of theme. In a good way, I mean. Itā€™s relatable. I was quite honestly dreading this one, because Iā€™m ā€œpanickingā€ about the 4 stories left in Reflections and need to focus. Last thing I wanted to do is figure out what kind of ā€œiambic meterā€ theyā€™re talking about!

So, first I picked the simplest possible theme, one Iā€™ve used before. Writing about writing isā€¦ what you did too, actually. It went a lot easier once I realized I couldnā€™t possibly get full sentences out of four syllable lines. The emdash became my best friend, giving it an artsy flair and forcing us to assume there must be some deeper connection between those unrelated words *Laugh*

Also, a crucial element of good poetry writing is knowing when to eliminate articles, ā€œtheā€ and ā€œaā€ and other potential filler words. Restructuring your thoughts to avoid these words leads to more creative and artistic writing patterns. I believe Brian K Compton Author Icon taught me this technique, and itā€™s truly invaluable.

I skipped the ā€œiambic meterā€ part altogetherā€¦ I think that was some sort of mistake. We canā€™t be bothered with stressed and unstressed in only four syllables, and it was unspecified exactly what meter. Thereā€™s likely no such thing as ā€œquadrameterā€¦ā€

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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19
19
Review of Raindrops  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review *Smile*

You're right, this is a refreshing difference from the other items I observed in your collection. It focuses on a child's enjoyment of the first spring rains, engaging all the senses in a warm and happy memory. Youā€™ve included everything: scent, touch, taste, sight, sound, and emotion, wrapping us in the experience with as much excitement as you felt when it happened.

I like your metrical rhythms; some might say it's too simplistic, but it carries the tune and creates something which I would have liked to write down and memorize as a kid. I had a whole collection of handwritten poetry I'd gathered up and committed to memory.

A few twiddly points... I noticed you use no punctuation at the end of lines. This is fine, I suppose; I struggle with figuring out how to punctuate lines, and it would probably be a lot easier to have none at all *Laugh* You do, however, need to close quotes on the motherā€™s words, ā€œyou wouldnā€™t dare!ā€ I leave it up to you to decide whether or not you need the exclamation point as well *Wink*

Another thing is in the first verse, you write ā€œthe rains are here,ā€ and then in the second verse it says ā€œspring is here.ā€ You may want to vary that by saying ā€œspring has come,ā€ or ā€œthe rains now fall,ā€ or something similar.

Also, perhaps it should be clear in the subtitle that itā€™s written from a reminiscent childā€™s perspective. I see the cover picture but it didnā€™t quite click at first. Perhaps even changing one of the genres to Childrenā€™s would make it more appealing. For that matter, a larger font size than default is always more appealing and engaging.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
20
20
for entry "Courtyard" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Greetings, Brian, and it's a pleasure to read your work again for I Write 2025 *Smile*

This is an easier to follow narrative than your deeply personal blog entries, anyway. I at first thought of the basketball courtyard and wondered if it was a sports metaphor. But it's a straightforward love story: the narrator sadly watches other couples proposing in the beauty of that special place, knowing his own was somehow unfulfilled. I believe the relationship faltered because of barrenness, but the ending renews hope that even without the longed-for child, the lovers find solace in each other.

This is such a touching poem, saying so much in so little. I would like to babble a little about my pet project, Reflections. I've written so many heavy emotions and dramatic moments into it, and there's still several serious themes left. It's like a soap opera. I've had to navigate my main character and his wife through heartbreak, pain, death, crime, loss, the multiverse and a few more lighthearted moments. They've healed, recovered, forgiven and reconciled several times. Poor Dan should be suffering from PTSD by now, and likely his wife as well... Which makes me think. I need to include as much depth as possible as the overarching narrative reaches a conclusion... It shouldn't just be a gathering of crazy detective action stories. There needs to be some character development, change, growth, maturity reached. And yet, each story has to be independent of the others, able to be read coherently on its own. It's harder, even, than a novel *Crazy* But it's so incredibly fun *Delight*

Well, I've managed to write more about myself than your poem *Blush* I should be blogging, with all this blather *Laugh* I guess that means you're inspiring me *Heartt* This was a fine read, I really appreciated it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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21
21
Review of Alone i Break  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, and thank you for requesting a review.

This is dark, delving into a man's inner turmoil as he feels he has no one left to reach out to. We see him employing every bleak metaphor in the book, creating a steady, metrical rhythm that is both cliched and unique in the impactful heaviness it conveys. With hammer like beats and a direct AABB rhyme scheme, it presses home the anguish and hopelessness of depression as it builds walls around the narrator. He reaches out in desperation and finds no one who can or is willing to help or understand. It hurts as we share his pain with striking phrases like ā€œsomething sacred slowly diesā€ and ā€œghosts of wars I couldnā€™t win.ā€

I get the feeling it discusses PTSD from wartime, a soldierā€™s lament as he deals with the consequences of things beyond his control.

I feel silly admitting this, but I'm tempted to pop it into an AI to see what they might remark on. But you aren't paying me for a service you could have for free *Pthb* It's just that sometimes when I'm presented with a poem, I'm at a loss to come up with deeper observations and considerations about it.

On my first perusal, I couldn't help reflecting on what I know of darkness like this. I'm not much into heavy music, but I'm a big enough fan of Imagine Dragons to share this with you as something which echoes a similar sense of hopeless ending:
video ▼

I looked at your portfolio to get a better idea of your style. It appears you often consider the gritty things of life in your writing. I'm not against that; we should acknowledge all aspects of our reality, and it isn't always fun and roses.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to create a clearer and more engaging reading experience across devices. On my iPad, it looks like the poem is several verses too long, for instance, giving it a boring, repetitive and tedious feel. If you need help with the formatting, you can click on the question mark in the row of tiles above the text entry box.

I noticed one of your genres is Biographical. If you really feel this way, know you're not alone and there are ways to get help. The US has a number now, 988, for mental health crisis care, similar to 911.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

What a nice little story about the mother sow. You must've had an interesting life out on the farm. The memory of your mom walking Marilyn to her "new home" would make a touching end to a movie of some kind about farm life, growing up and animals. That's amazing how well the sow carried her piglets; it must've been quite a sight to watch them all feeding!

I don't have anything to suggest here; it's a fascinating snapshot of something unique in your life.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings, Sue!

I'm here for I Write 2025. You and Brian K Compton reminded me of the possibility of entering these blog posts to Annette's challenge. I almost never submit blogs, for whatever reason. This year only judged items can qualify. Anyway...

It's always interesting having a slice of life down under. I believe you and Steven are the only ones from there. I had to Google "bandicoot," as I haven't seen that critter in writing since I was a kid reading the biology textbooks.

Your encounter was striking, reminding us of the cycle of life and the way the ecosystem functions to bring balance. If we didn't have higher predators, the lower rodent type creatures would overrun us. Sometimes I question the validity of such a setup in civilized areas... You might not be aware of how monstrous the alligators are in Florida. They eat pets and people... It's not an exaggeration. Even hawks... Have you seen the YouTube video of the hawk flying down to someone's windshield in an attempt to capture a kitten inside on the dashboard? The hawk was flummoxed *Laugh* But it wouldn't have been pleasant if he'd had his lunch *Sick*

Such is life. We must respect the creatures and try not to get in their way as they do what they have to. I'm glad the bird's dinner didn't land on your head *Vomit*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Wheel of Fortune  Open in new Window.
for entry "April 27, 2025" Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings *Smile*

Iā€™m here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I was browsing your book item looking for entries that caught my fancy, and this one really struck a chord with me.

Paper: that magical substance capable of holding all our thoughts, dreams, aspirations, heartbreak, joy and entire lives "to have and to hold" for as long as it doesn't crumble away to dust.

I relate to your appreciation of paper and how much it meant to have the written word as a child. I wrote so much growing up, forming worlds of pug dogs, sentient stuffed animals and Wind in the Willows sequels that were both childish (naturally) and yet reaching out for something deeper, something profound.

The images of you hauling home that beautiful colored paper feel like they imply you built physical things with the sheets, like construction paper. But I think it's a lovely metaphor for everything we build on a two-dimensional sheet. The simplicity of your choice of beloved childhood toy is heartwarming. I hope you have found yourself in your words over the years.

This is a fine little poem with nothing I could think of to change. Perhaps a gentle rumination of a couple lines letting us know how much of what you wrote was fulfilled in some way would help give it a well rounded feel.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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Review of Building Block  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, Fyn!

Oh my goodness, this is so beautiful! I love the message and the innovative way you've told your story! You weave in and out of a fairytale world and teach us all a valuable lesson about self-love and maturity. Your words are so creative and heartfelt.

I relate to the castle on the mountain you used to see as a kid; growing up in Middle Tennessee, there was a castle on the mountainside overlooking a highway; we would drive past sometimes and it was always such a fun sight. Castle Gwynn, home of a yearly Renaissance festival. The thought of that landmark burning down would be quite sad.

Your experience scrubbing castle walls as a teenager was poignantly ironic, making you wonder how your dreams would ever come true. We follow your journey as you grow and gain wisdom about your true self and relationships with others, eventually finding your happy ending in the mundane comfort of a loving, hardworking husband and a safe home, even if it's a ranch house with a mortgage.

The style is charming, taking the castle concept and drawing enduring life lessons from it as you apply the theme to your past, present and future. I like the bold font and centered text, and the free flowing rhythm feels almost like it rhymes even though it doesn't.

What can I say? This deserves an award! Go submit it at "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" Open in new Window. so we can all appreciate it and see how it gets acclamation. And let me know if it doesn't, because then I'll give it a ribbon myself (I'm a terrible cheapskate *Blush*)

Have you ever tried using the {photo:###} as the cover art for your items? I believe I was able to do that in the most recent Short Shots, when SM changed the provided image from an {image:###} to a {photo:###} if that makes sense. Items always do better when they have a cover pic attached.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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