Amethyst Agape Angel's (greenwillow) Reviews

Review Requests: ON

1,108 Public Reviews Given

1,111 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.

I'm good at...

Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?

Favorite Genres

Poetry, children's, anything rated E

Least Favorite Genres

Anything higher than 18+

Favorite Item Types

Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc

Least Favorite Item Types

AI Generated Content of Any Kind.

I will not review...

NSFW or AI generated content. Please do not send me anything that comes back from QuillBot AI detector as more than 25% AI generated. I will check and decline it.

1

Credit this reviewer

#4798242

Review of Poetically Prompted

for entry "Zenith"

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings, Sox!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.

I deeply sympathize with your dislike of forms, especially when I have no idea what theme to write around! I always hesitate to complain about it, and I'm learning how to be patient and work with the form to create something that's rather fun.

You seem to have handled it with self-conscious aplomb; despite your tongue in cheek complaints, you nailed the form requirements

I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font, but since I'm on mobile at the moment I can't tell what you've used. As for other recommendations, all I can think of is a bit of encouragement to keep up the good work. Only a few months left for this challenge!

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Reviewing signature for the B.E.A.R. Fund.

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

2

Credit this reviewer

#4797885

Review of Unseen

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Fyn!

I'm here as a fellow member of the PPC5 challenge.
It's always a delight seeing how we approach the prompts uniquely. You've given yours a sadness which I appreciate, as a quick glance at the pretty flowers offered as the prompt might lead one to create only the most trite of poetry.

Not so here, as you set out a situation like a detective story in words which almost feel metaphorical, especially when you write about feeding the fire, as if the person you're discussing fed it with their soul. The scene is well painted, with a heartfelt sense of misunderstanding at the end when we see the touching consideration the other person missed.

A line count is always important when doing the PPC5, as Lilli needs to see if you've got 12 lines. I can't seem to count them well on mobile, which is one of the annoying things about online poetry; even when one cuts the line, it's hard to tell where exactly it ends when a longer sentence runs across the screen and down the other side.

Aside from this little note, I think this is a perfect vignette capturing something which reminds me of a forlorn love song.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

3

Credit this reviewer

#4797783

Review of The Robot and the Ghost

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Greetings, Kotaro!

I noticed this on my sidebar yesterday and couldn't resist.

It's a heartwarming tale of a friendly robot detective helping out a damsel in distress, with the added twist of her being a vengeful ghost. I love how Isaac's well-meaning character comes through in the creative use of first person perspective; it makes for such an engaging read. I like how he described his office and distinguished it from that of a "noir" human detective. (Does Isaac have any built-in defense mechanisms?) The final solution is amusingly simple, requiring a calculation on the part of Issac of an experience he'd never had before.

This is the kind of setup I'd love to see made into a series; you have a lot of storytelling potential here, maybe even as a set of "Hardy Boys" type adventures for young people.

Your formatting is splendid; the font is so large it comes through on mobile.

The second sentence needs a comma after "solving crime," and the third paragraph gets a bit messy at the end, with a dropped period. And at the dialogue where Isaac says "where are you" there should be a question mark, and "you're" is misspelled as "your." There may be other proofreading errors which you should tidy up throughout to create a more professional presentation

I would highly suggest you enter this at "Twisted Tales Contest"

hosted by Arakun the twisted raccoon

. She'd love to read it, and I always need more competition there as it's an underrated contest

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

4

Credit this reviewer

#4797641

Review of The Promise

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Greetings, Sumojo!

I'm here for I Write 2025.

Well, this was distressing. A simple but deadly mistake, and a misunderstanding that can never be explained. Wildfires are a serious thing... I wanted to shout at Paul to bring the radio with him, but it was too late.

It takes the prompt into account well, setting up a situation where Paul seemingly didn't stick to the plan when it wasn't his fault at all. I can't say I like it, especially seeing the havoc the LA fires have wreaked in the US. Who knows how many times that situation might have played out in real life.

One suggestion... At the end, it says Sarah stood "silent," but she was crying out about the plan "over and over." Perhaps this could be reconciled.

Take care, thanks for sharing, good luck at the contest, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

5

Credit this reviewer

#4797525

Review of Metis Saved Me

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings and welcome to WdC, Elon!

We meet again, as I do my daily review to maintain a weekly streak. I saw this on the Read a Newbie sidebar and thought it looked promising.

I wonder how many people think this is a true story. You've written something which feels almost unwittingly vulnerable, narrating from the point of view of someone who has nothing left to live for but the birds in the park. By the kindness of a stranger, he acquires the binoculars which open a new world up to his jaded eyes, one which engages him and draws him away from the meaningless void of addiction.

I like to think the man sees himself reflected in the scrappy family of birds struggling to survive on the streets, and as he feeds them he is in a way feeding himself as well. Their power of flight reminds him he can escape his situation if he wants to, or if someone would just help him out a little.

Remember what I said before about Size 4 Verdana font; it makes a delightful difference in the way your writing looks to others. Also, a line break between each piece of dialogue is recommended, rather than running it all into a single paragraph.
And the genres again: "Philosophical" and "Drama" would be good choices for this quiet, thoughtful "kitchen sink" piece.

At the fifth sentence, I would suggest adding a "don't" to the explanation that the narrator knows nothing about birds. Oh yeah, and if you're going to say "sh*t," the item is no longer rated E. Just a friendly note

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

6

Credit this reviewer

#4797344

Review of It Gets Better

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Elon, and welcome to Writing.com!

I’ve seen your work here previously and couldn’t decide if you were a “serious” member or not. I mean, I almost thought the name “Elon” was a spoof on the guy we know all too well these days

Reading this item, I was touched by your thoughtfulness and consideration of the people you see passing by. I relate deeply to this on all sides, as I’m an introvert who prefers to watch people and write about them than actually interact with them. I know what compassion and empathy mean on paper, and I think I have those feelings, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how to make them evident in the real world. I’m a Pisces, and I’ve always felt this deep dichotomy between so many angles of my life. The written word vs the spoken word, the visual vs the written, solitude vs companionship, atheism vs spirituality, excess vs minimalism, on and on. So, not knowing what else to do, I end up sitting back and watching the world pass me by most of the time.

Have you figured out how to use the row of formatting tiles above the text entry box? "Writing.Com 101"

has lots of useful info on how to make your items look their best. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana font for clarity and ease of reading. Genres are also a crucial element of WdC. People use them to browse for things they’re interested in reading, and they may not find your work if you don’t choose all three. I would recommend “Philosophy,” “Personal,” and “Inspirational” for this one. Be flexible and you’ll find lots of options. A word count at the top or in your subtitle is also a good idea so we know what we’re getting into.

As a monologue of your thoughts, this is a well written and relatable piece. Even if it’s fictionalized, it shows you have a skill for crafting thought provoking and even uplifting items to share with us.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

7

Credit this reviewer

#4797208

Review of The Olerid & The Chef

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com, Michael!

I’ve seen your work before but was never quite sure of what I thought about it enough to write you a good review. This one caught my fancy for some reason when I saw it on the sidebar.

I like it; it’s a simple, cozy sort of tale with a futuristic twist. The subtle themes behind the two vastly different species coming together and appreciating each other are thoughtful, as the metaphor extends to human interactions as well. We often feel unsure or awkward reaching out to those who appear different from us, and James’ hesitation to speak to the one he’s attracted to is instantly relatable as well as comfortably trite.

Simple formatting fixes which are highly recommended around here for a smoother reading experience include: Size 4 Verdana font, double spaces or indented lines rather than running everything into one single block, and I also noticed you forgot to place a scene divider at “longed and hoped for.” The next paragraph indicates a new scene, their first date, but the only way I realized that is when you described her new outfit. You can access all the required formatting tools in the row of tiles above the text entry box. Our proprietary markup language is quite simple, built around use of {…}, known as “curly brackets.” A word count at the top is also helpful so we know what we’re getting into, especially since you have the author name and title repeated there anyway. We also like to encourage the use of all three genres so people can find items more easily when browsing. It also helps your work be nominated for Quill Genre awards. I think “Career,” “Relationship,” or “Friendship” would do.

Now, I’m not really a romance reader, so as I read this I kept looking for something more dramatic to happen. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine the way it is, but a few thoughts follow on how to add interest and make it run a little deeper than a trite meet story…

Characters are the most important part of your story, and bringing them fully to life is crucial. Development of character traits, such as an endearing flaw or a quirky habit, helps add interest and engagement. Conflict and tension keeps the stakes high and leads to a character arc as the protagonist discovers something about themselves or the world around them by achieving goals and forging relationships through obstacles at high stakes. What’s the payoff for James if he makes this relationship work? What sad state will he be in if he fails? The stakes could be a little higher to keep us engaged with the narrative.

And now a final note, one which you might find terribly insulting… how much AI generation went into this piece? I seem to detect certain generalizing phrases which AI chat bots like to use. I won’t paste it into an AI content detector because they’re notoriously inaccurate. I’m probably being hyper sensitive because I don’t know you. Just ignore this paragraph

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

8

Credit this reviewer

#4797109

Review of Castle's Chessboard

for entry "Lost at Sea"

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings!

I'm here from I Write 2025.

I believe this is the first time I've had the chance to review a fellow entry in the Hook of the Book. It was a good idea to write it into a book entry and use for this activity. And may I ask how you were able to access the image prompt? Do you think it'll still be visible when Jeremy changes it in the forum? He never leaves one up after it's done with. You may want to write a description of the image in case it goes away.

You've captured a tantalizing situation in only 63 words, giving us a fine hook that encapsulates the image while going beyond it.

I had immediately come up with the twist of a human stowaway in the trunk, and so did others as well, but mine occupied a lot more words than yours, mostly because I approached it from the perspective of dialoguing magpies. For a hook and an opening setup, yours is definitely quite succinct, though it doesn't draw in the sharks (but how could it, considering the perspective?)

If I had to make any suggestions, it would be to continue this story at a later date - I'm excited to know more about this character and what becomes of them! Though as you might realize, first person PoV almost always guarantees survival of the narrator - unless the author is Jeff

Wouldn't it be fun to make a Drabble (100 word story) out of this image prompt? Remember, the hook is only the opening which grabs the reader's interest. The Drabble has a beginning, middle and end. I have a whole collection of Drabbles which ended up turning into a hodgepodge of odds and ends similar to this - a sort of author's junk drawer. Seems like most of us around here have at least one book of micro writing.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

9

Credit this reviewer

#4796976

Review of TEDDY

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings!

I saw your Newsfeed post and dropped by to read your item. I love your personal narrative here, sharing the story of the bears you used to have and how you've made your little treasured bear by hand.

I've been thinking about taking up crochet or knitting myself lately, because I realized I need to do something physically productive with my hands... Long story. I spend most of my time on screens of one kind or another, and after a while I need to change to a different medium of creation.

I feel bad saying this, but you have a small laundry list of typos here that I feel the need to let you know of

1. "Grizzly" bear
2. "Branching out from"
3. "Getting bored"
4. "Crochet yarn"
5. "Kind of" and "aviator's" and "to/too"

Now to answer your final question. I love making digital artwork, and lately I feel as though writing is my favorite way to create. I'm obsessive, so I can only seem to do one creative hobby at a time, throwing myself into it as much as possible.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

10

Credit this reviewer

#4796688

Review of Lane 96

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Ricardo!

Nice to meet you. This story was an interesting step into Twilight Zone surrealism. You have a good descriptive style, setting up the scene and arranging the circumstances in an amusingly strange and mysterious way.

I appreciate the nice large font you've used; it comes through even on mobile. Size 4 Verdana is my favorite.

I have a couple minor suggestions and then some larger points to make. First, the idea of a road "looming" in the opening sentence seems a bit off. Roads stretch, weave, even maybe "yawn," but since the road is not actively coming towards you, I'm not sure you can say it "looms." Now I'm thinking of the Imagine Dragons album Loom and what the lead singer said explaining why he chose that name. Perhaps it's ok after all

in which case it's quite creative of you

Second super simple typo is brakes/breaks. Brakes are for cars and are the kind you're looking for.

Another typo I just noticed is the sentence which begins "Jumping out of it’s way..." The word should be "its," and the entire sentence is a dangling modifier.

Now, a larger point would be... The story kind of rambles. I mean, the beginning and middle don't particularly lead us to the end. It's a surprise, of course, as we are absorbed in Brian's thoughts about his family, but by the time the story is over we realize all of his familial ruminations were unrelated to anything else. Ultimately, it feels like it lacks a theme or an overarching thought, perhaps even being disjointed. I'm not exactly sure what to suggest here... Maybe if the aunt had mentioned something about a mirage in the woods, it would help tie things together and foreshadow what happens next.

Other than that, this is a pretty interesting tale with potential to be a lot more of a thriller if you look it over with a fresh perspective.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

11

Credit this reviewer

#4796453

Review of The Key Part V

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Dorianne!

I found this chapter using the Random Read and Review Button, so I have no clue what's going on or how this melodrama ends

You've brought us into the middle of an exciting soap opera, showing two seemingly unrelated and action-packed scenes which leave us hanging. The characterization seems a bit weak, leaning on cliche descriptive words and trite circumstances to bring stories which feel like bits and pieces from an old Unshackled broadcast.

Of course we feel concerned about these people we've never heard of before, who seem to be going through so much. Yet it all seems a bit amateurish and simplistic, especially with the tagline at the end. You could expand on each scene to show us a little more context, but I assume you've broken it up into brief chapters.

I would recommend... Well, it's hard for me to make suggestions about modifying your writing style because I personally work from a very instinctive basis, but I can tell it needs a bit of refinement. Perhaps what the issue is, is that you're inspired by what you see in movies and TV. Perhaps you should read more books to see how people transfer these exciting events from the screens in their minds to the written word.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

12

Credit this reviewer

#4796263

Review of Scarlet

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Kiya!

Well, I know you like to write about and shed light on serious subjects, so I don't often browse your port because it can be upsetting for a softie like me. But since you offered, I figured I'd go ahead and take the risk for a friend.

You've written something tense and gripping, and in fact it echoes a story of yours from many years back, something about a payphone. A young lady trapped in a sordid life loses herself in make-believe, leaving us asking if the final moment of revenge and escape actually happened or if it was another dream crafted to get Ada through the horrors of another day.

The writing style is vivid, bringing to light all the visceral details of abuse and neglect. You incorporated all the prompts well, using the three words, the character specification and the genre.

I'm a little puzzled about your formatting: on mobile, the text spills across or breaks the borders of the page, causing me to rotate the screen and slide the page from side to side so as not to miss a word. How'd that happen? You know my favorite font: Size 4 Verdana.

Suggestions:

I hate having to make any most of the time, but Jeremy requires at least one for his review program. So... You're already a strong writer, and I admire your ability to take us places we don't really want to go and show us the all-too-real miseries of life which we might otherwise ignore. Your vocabulary is excellent: I've even learned a word, "bibulous." It foreshadows what we later see.

My only suggestion is to be true to yourself and never wonder if you should change your style or water down things because we don't stop by often. This is Quill worthy material... (Is it ok to say that?

)

Take care, thanks for sharing, best of luck at the contest (which I've entered as well...) and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

13

Credit this reviewer

#4796246

Review of A Pair of Black Crows in Two Eucalyptus

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Tim!

It's been a while since I found one of your poems on the Random Read and Review.

I love this free verse depiction of two crows as they go about their lives. You share a snapshot of the moments you can see out your window, and it's both picturesque and carefully detailed. We feel as though we are seeing a sample of your journal as you contemplate the beauty of creation.

I can never think of anything to suggest that people change about their poetry, as each piece is a unique portrayal of life as it is seen by one person.

On mobile, I'm unaware of the size and style font you've used, but I always recommend Size 4 Verdana.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

14

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4796074

Review of It Was Nice While It Lasted

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings, Staine!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

A quiet, contemplative poem, musing about your collection of books and wondering if you have too many. I can picture you sitting before the fire with a good book, enjoying it against the bitter chill outside. Then, the moment comes when you begin to declutter, wishing your well-read books a fond farewell.

The free verse is creative and easygoing, beginning each verse with the phrase "I sit alone" and offering us a variation on the theme as we advance through the poem. First you have your thoughts, then you have your books, and at the end you have your thoughts and your books and are content in the moment.

I see Comic font is your favorite... I will gently remind you certain iOS devices do not format Comic. No problem for me anymore, but just a thought. Size 4 Verdana is my personal favorite.

I might suggest adding more sensory details to the poem to engage us in the moment. What's the weather outside? (Is it frightful? Is the fire delightful?

) The time of day? Is there something aromatic in the oven as you sit and contemplate your books? Did you just finish your chores and are settling down to a blissfully clean house? A few tiny details might help bring it to life even more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

15

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4795944

Review of Winter Wonderland

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Steph!

I see you've had three enthusiastic ratings since I started this draft at 5AM

I'm reviewing your word search even though I don't have a desktop to complete it on. It looks like such fun, though, that I might print it out and do it on paper, the old-fashioned way!

Now, you understand that actually solving the puzzle is not required for a review, because the way the words get arranged in the puzzle block changes every time the page is reloaded, so it's not part of what you have control over as the creator. You're responsible for curation and presentation, and the rest is up to SM

I like your presentation here, with an emphasis on brisk and sporty cold-weather activities sure to get one's blood circulating. You brought the theme home with a GIF of a hockey scene, and added a personal touch with the picture of your boys having outdoor winter fun.

You have a lovely fat list of words, all guaranteed to create thoughts of frigid temperatures and seasonal, action-packed delights. I'm getting cold just looking at them 🥶

Ok, as for improvement suggestions: I see you've misspelled "Arctic," which is enough to turn me into a raging polar bear

You also neglected to add two more genres to the item, such as "Activity" and "Sports" or "Environment." This will help your item be found when browsing and also be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible... Is that even possible for a Word Search? Maybe I'm mistaken. Anyway, choosing genres is one of my favorite parts of the "small stuff" associated with adding items to WdC.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

16

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4795765

Review of Poppies, Sunflowers and Roses

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings!

I found this fascinating piece using the Random Read and Review Button.

How interesting: a poem arranged like a song, complete with a detailed description of the corresponding music video. It carries a strong theme of international peace and reminds us we must all come together or face a rapidly crumbling world.

I like the free verse; I can picture the solemn narration of the lines with your video description. It gives me questions as to whether this is a sort of essay about a video which does indeed exist, or if it's entirely something you've created in words in the hope of one day seeing it brought to reality.

I would recommend adding line spaces between the different parts to keep it tidy. I can't tell what size font you've used on mobile, but I like to tell everyone to use Size 4 Verdana so it's nice and clear and takes full prominence on the page. A line count is a helpful thing to add at the bottom, and perhaps the notes could be kept in a dropnote for tidiness.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

17

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4795594

Review of Summer of our Discontent

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings!

I found this using the Random Read and Review Button.

A wise, albeit depressing summation of last summer. Record heat indeed, but now 2025 looks like it's shaping up to be even worse. Did you hear the low was 90° F in some part of Australia recently?

My only response to such bad news is sheer escapism, brought on by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. I can't imagine there's anything I can do to fix the mess... If I could think of something, I would. These days I tend indeed to be unaware of a lot of what goes on because I simply don't want to know... Which has its own problems.

Any suggestions for this are strictly in formatting. I might recommend removing the extra space between each line and clarifying the prompt and date and activity it was written for so others more unfamiliar with the site and your habits will understand.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

18

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4795246

Review of Evidence

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Carly!

I'm here as a fellow member of I Write 2025.

An amusing, almost satirical flash piece. I enjoy reading shorts like these because they're over quickly, usually with a snappy catch at the end. You've set up a situation ripe for humor while sharing a theme of acceptance and kindness.

As a flash contest entry, I understand it's hard to get enough "story" into it. I might suggest, when the day is over, going in and adding a bit of narrative at the beginning to center the "I" who is speaking. Opening with suspended dialogue is a bit confusing as we move from one speaker to another.

I'd also recommend adding three relevant genres, such as LGBTQ+, Drama, and Friendship or Emotional.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

19

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4795036

Review of Noah and Oliver's and the Magical Oak

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

20

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794941

Review of Noah and Oliver's and the Magical Oak

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Ah, a writer of children’s stories. I love writing and reading them myself; in fact I’m very much a kid at heart

This is a charming tale of a magical adventure featuring two cat friends. It has a conflict and a resolution, but lacks any particular character development aside from learning the Oak tree speaks to them. There is no specific reason why Sneaky Sam, whoever he is, would want to summon a storm, and it seems a lot has been left unsaid for simplicity and brevity.

Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, as it depends largely on the age group you’re writing for. If you have very young kids in mind, it’s better to keep the action tame and the evildoers at arm’s length, and a story brief enough to be read at bedtime. Older kids, however, will appreciate a deeper dive into character motivations, interactions, dialogue, and plot twists, which could stretch your length into a thousand words or more. “What if” is a great question to ask yourself as you consider different elements and scenarios to incorporate into your story.

Adding any further content will require you keep an eye on your word counts… for that matter, I highly recommend adding a word count to each subtitle so we can decide if it’ll make a good bedtime story or if it requires more time. I also recommend using WdC formatting language (which can be accessed by using the tiles lined up on top of the text entry box) to make your items Size 4 Verdana, which is an excellent choice for keeping the page clean and engaging.

Another thing I would venture to add is the dreaded “did you use AI” inquiry. Something about the writing style bugs me, but I’m not going to paste it into one of those AI content detectors because they simply aren’t reliable or accurate. Maybe it needs more dialogue, or maybe it’s just me being hyper sensitive. I can’t pin down anything specific to tell you to change to make it sound more “human.” At any rate, it’s a sweet and fluffy little piece which a young child would enjoy.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing

"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

21

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794719

Review of Flipping Liam

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Greetings, Victor!

I found this on the Random Read and Review Button.

Ah, a quick thrill. If I have to read stuff which dances on the edge, I prefer it in flash form to get it over with as quickly as possible. This was written with brisk, wry humor and a snappy ending and was a pretty fun read as I considered what might be happening in such a situation.

I would suggest adding two more relevant genres such as Crime/Gangster and Dark or Thriller/Suspense. This helps people find your item when browsing. I also like to recommend Size 4 Verdana font, but I can't tell what size you've used on mobile so it's all good.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

22

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794586

Review of Angels

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, friend!

I love this acrostic you've crafted for us. It shares your beliefs about the beautiful nature of God's angels and how they interact with us on Earth.

I like the rhyming couplets, which worked out perfectly because the word has an even number of letters. And the different colors you've chosen to set off the opening letter of each line adds elegant clarity to the acrostic style.

I'm not criticizing the perfection of what you have here, but since the BEAR project requires at least one suggestion, I might suggest adding more lines. What you could do is select another word and add it as a second verse acrostic: maybe "love..." or you could add a verse built on the word "God's" at the top to create an acrostic reading "God's Angels..." Because after all, there are good angels and bad angels, and we should be clear which ones we're talking about

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

23

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794464

Review of Power

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Greetings and welcome to Writing.com, Carl!

A "powerful" poem, written using the letters of the theme word to introduce each line. We see the world's problems laid out in simple terms: corruption, greed and lack of morals, along with the ultimate consequences of allowing oneself to fall prey to such.

I noticed the last letter has a couplet by itself, but it's run together as a single line broken by the screen: you may want to do a line break at the second "the" and add {indent} at the front of it to arrange this in a more visually pleasing manner, like so:

Ravenousness: the greater the amount one requires,
the quicker the one will expire.

Which brings me to our proprietary markup language, known as WML. The row of tiles above the text entry box is your key to rearranging and formatting your text in different ways. I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font. As as an acrostic, you can also underline and/or bold the first letter of each line to bring the point home; that way you may remove the word written as the title at the top, which is usually unnecessary here. If you need any help, you can check "Writing.Com 101"

for an extensive user guide.

I would recommend choosing three relevant genres for this poem, as it makes it easier for people to find your work when browsing. Philosophy, Political, Drama, Relationship, History, Psychology, or Dark would all be suitable options. Filling in three genres also allows opportunity for as many Quill Award nominations as possible.

I look forward to seeing you around here more. Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

24

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794333

Review of The Sandwich Saboteurs

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Greetings, Charles!

Good grief, what a rollickingly absurd and glorious story! I loved it! I'll try to break down what I liked so much so I don't go rambling all over...

Characters: you have the perfect "everyman" type with Joe, the average tech geek who has some unusually awful bad luck with tech gear. His interactions with the world around him are so introverted, I can really identify. I love the scene where he's chilling in a corner of the meeting with his teacup and a good book, ignoring everyone

His coworkers are ingenious, so typical and yet so creatively done. Rob with the magic abilities, Greg the exasperated boss, Fred the guy with the rich auntie... They're a scrappy bunch, but somehow they get their mission accomplished through bungling and barfing. Joe's habit of saying "fair" to stave off conflict reminds me of the gentle ways of the Strange Planet creatures.

Premise: The idea of a tech nerd being hounded by saboteurs throughout his life is absurd, approached with enough sympathetic humor that we can't take it seriously enough to be alarmed by the death and blowing up of stuff which eventually ensues. I was prepared for a miserable ending, because I've seen other "everyman" stories where the poor fellow gets hurled through a "series of unfortunate events," and they can be pretty depressing and pointless. This, though, had a larger message of friendship and teamwork by the time it arrived at the end. I'm really looking forward to Joe's further adventures.

Setting: the real world, complete with name dropping and geography, is perfect. You've set up such a relatable situation, with all that malfunctioning tech and the little details carefully woven together, from the butter to the flashbacks of Joe's childhood. You keep us hanging, unsure of what's going on from moment to moment and reading excitedly to see what happens next. The moment where he was reading the feelings of the guy at the showdown shows how empathetic Joe is; I was hollering at him that he's overlaying his own feelings and not to fall for his own soft spot...

Ok, I do need to give you a couple of suggestions. First, you should make the font larger. I know this will throw off the careful tapering of Joe's moans of shock, but a little twiddling will help. I always recommend Size 4 Verdana for ease of reading.
Then, I highly recommend choosing two more genres for the item. Technology and Crime/Gangster would be good, unless you want to give away the lighthearted side and add Comedy as one. This will help people find it when browsing, and also allow the opportunity to be nominated for as many Quill Awards as possible.

You may want to check the scenes where they're at the auntie's house and make sure you didn't confuse Fred and Greg somewhere along there.

A word count at the top would also be a great idea to let us know what we're in for.

Your writing style is brilliant; this comes across like an office sitcom collided with Mad Max. I really enjoyed it and can't wait for the next installment.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

25

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4794244

Review of Into the Wind

for entry "Oh So Delicious"

Review by Amethyst Agape Angel

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Greetings, Lizzie!

I remembered you’re part of the PPC5 challenge and thought I’d find one of your entries to review as a fellow member.

This is a yummy poem... And now I'm hungry for a simple, classic dish of Italian spaghetti

You've painted your scene well, engaging our senses with the smell of garlic, the flavor of cheese and tomato sauce, and the sight of warm bread cleaning the plate. It's a deeply relatable moment for all of us; my mom and I love a good pasta dinner.

The free verse is conversational, whimsical and creative, as we spot a couple of accidental rhymes which lend a flow to the piece.

You've misspelled the word "fare" as it relates to food in the 13th line. Also, a line count at the bottom is nice to help Lilli quickly see the requirements have been met. I can hardly remember the prompt for that week; was it the "favorite food" prompt? Perhaps you should add a little note about it at the bottom, even just for your own reference. I know Lilli adds them all to a "quick list" which we can look at if we fall behind later in the year.

A perfectly scrumptious snapshot of a luxuriously simple dinner for one. I really enjoyed the tactile bliss you've shared with us here.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing

Image #2332475 over display limit. -?-
"The WDC Angel Army"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .