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787 Public Reviews Given
787 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual, friendly. I'll point out typos when I see them and make suggestions about quality, characters and logic, besides telling you how I feel about the piece.
I'm good at...
Does it make sense? Are the characters well portrayed? What's the overall feel of the piece?
Favorite Genres
Poetry, children's, anything rated E
Least Favorite Genres
Anything higher than 18+
Favorite Item Types
Poems, flash fiction, essays, articles, biographical/personal, etc
I will not review...
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Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Oh dear… when I saw this on my iPad, the first two things I noticed were that the font is much too small, and you’ve used the dreaded “Comic” font, which on Apple devices appears as the almost illegible proprietary “Snell Roundhand,” and the difficulty is only made worse by the choice of font colors and a title line in all caps. But such formatting issues are quite easily fixed *Delight* I always suggest Size 4 Verdana font, and that will take care of everything. You can go ahead and keep the pretty colors because they do add to the nature theme.

I love poetry with a nature theme, and a poem with a spiritual understanding is even better. You’ve taken a life experience and described it in words that convey the feelings of peace and tranquillity which were present, capturing a fleeting moment forever in our minds and expressing your gratitude to God for the wonders He has created.

The verse flows well and is loosely rhymed, with nothing trite to distract from the theme. I like free verse because it doesn’t have to fuss over structure and form, simply saying things in the most direct and emotive way possible. Each word is carefully chosen and brings meaning to the poem. I greatly enjoyed reading this.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Good heavens, what a story. I’m so happy you were able to survive the trauma and experience healing and live life as it was planned for you. God had a purpose in the pain, and we can see Him working as he comforted you and even let you see yourself being operated on by doctors who knew what they were doing.

This is an emotional life narrative, well written and compact. I like the bold and italicized font which gives it visual clarity. As a personal story, I don’t have anything to suggest or criticize. You can tell it in whatever way you like. I appreciate the addition of years to give us a sense of time, and you’ve characterized your situation well without being too personal or complaining too much. It is heartwarming to see your faith grow stronger after the ordeal.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

What a charming introduction to your portfolio, Emily! I love the surfing theme and the way you’ve formatted it, with large clear font, cool ocean colors, and dozens of carefully arranged emoticons. (Those turtles… *InLove2*)

I also really appreciate the way you’ve organized it, with a section for very short stories and other bits and pieces, and a spot for longer items… everything is neat, tidy and easy to browse through. I saw many items I’d love to read, including one with a title featuring my username *Shock2* I noticed your items have a variety of ratings and a diversity of genres, plus you’ve won many awards. Even something as subtle as adding cover art to every item was not neglected, creating a distinct visual appeal and helping us decide which items might be more interesting. Overall, you’ve done a wonderful job making your port intro as bright and inviting as possible, and I simply can’t wait to dive right in!

I also find it fascinating how you’ve incorporated many elements and themes of your unique life experience into your writing, creating stories featuring Hawaiian topics.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, nothing like a little drama to keep things exciting. In the Air Tonight is a song that always unnerved me, and you’ve captured the essence of what it feels like in a nutshell in your poem. I like how you’ve included the background rumors about why the original song was written. I never bothered researching it, assuming it’s simply something that Phil Collin’s dreamed up in his head. As a young person, I’ve noticed a lot of his songs have somewhat unusual subject matter, bordering on the eerie or mysterious.

I would suggest using three appropriate genres for the item: “Drama,” “Mystery” or “Dark” would be suitable to help people find the poem when browsing. Aside from that I don’t have anything to suggest. This was haunting and eerie, just like the song, with a new twist as it’s addressed to a different character in the drama which unfolded and left such an impact.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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30
Review of Rain  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Ooh, more nature poetry. This one has a lovely flow to it, as if we’re singing to a child during the rainstorm. Knowing the background of the form you’ve chosen makes it more appealing, and we admire your adherence to the structure and the ability to create something simple, unique and meaningful out of it. I think perhaps if I were writing using this form I would tweak it by making the end lines rhyme with themselves to draw the poem together; I remember Robert Frost did something similar in his poem Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening. This would aid memorization. Which reminds me, this is such a nice poem that I’m sure I would have written it down and memorized it as a kid. I had a huge collection of poetry.

The words you’ve chosen paint a vivid picture of a passing rain, with appropriate sound words and the steady dripping of water into puddles after the storm is over. It’s instantly relatable and comfortable, something we’ve all experienced.

When I saw “invalid item” for the forum I assumed it must be a very old item, but seeing the date, I’d like to inquire if this was written for a contest hosted by former member Dr. Rupali Goswami. She made many helpful contributions to WdC, and she is greatly missed.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I love a good nature poem, and you’ve created a charming word picture for us here.

A family of geese plays in their native element, allowing us to see their distinct personalities as they grow and change in preparation for their migratory journey south. This is a fine rhyming story for children, teaching about the cycle of seasons, growth and renewal that makes up life. We see the graceful geese taking off in flight to their winter home, and we hope that they’ll be back next spring to raise a new brood of chicks. The meter romps along playfully, aiding the childlike feeling of the piece.

I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. You can also change the “contest entry” genre to “Nature” to help people find this when browsing.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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32
Review of An Itinerant Mind  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I hope you don’t mind a review on your mild blog ramblings. Memory is a fascinating subject to consider… I remember reading a book by the secular Bible scholar Bart Ehrman which focused on the fickleness of human memory and how we “rebuild” things that we can’t quite remember. It was in a way alarming, yet also reassuring, because I’ve had the experience of trying to compare memories with people and they insist on their own version of events even though I’m quite certain things didn’t happen that way. It’s good to know that we’re not purposely lying or inventing things if our memories don’t match.

My own memory is reasonably reliable, though fickle and fussy. I try to forget stressful circumstances as quickly as possible by way of laying them to rest, which often leads to a situation where someone else is still dwelling on the injustice of it all and I can barely remember the specifics of the experience. I also have a terrible sense of time generally, so what I try to do is leave a paper trail of landmarks throughout my day to day life: pictures tagged with the location, songs I’ve heard at particular places, to-do lists, journals, and all manner of things create a web of interconnected memory tags that help me look back and say “ok, on this day we did this, and a year ago we were there, and that was the day I heard that song and we were over there, and that was what I was interested in last January…” if I didn’t do all that, I probably wouldn’t keep very good track of anything.

As to a flattering self editing of memories, well, I have a tendency to assume I should apologize for everything about myself… but there’s no need to bore you with self psychoanalysis *Laugh*

This was a good read that sets one to thinking. I hope I can stick around here long enough to rediscover items I don’t remember writing - that would be delightful *Delight*

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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33
Review of Geometricacy  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Well, my good fellow, this is your month. I shall poke through your port and drop some reviews.

Nonsense in the good old-fashioned way, as we see a creature (a cat, presumably) boasting of the chaotic mess it’s made of things. The overall feel of the poem is somber, partly because we can’t really understand what it means (not that any serious meaning should be ascribed to it) and partly because of word choices like “tears,” “deaf ears,” “all wrong,” and others. It reminds me of the poem by TS Eliot, Macavity, about a sinister cat with uncanny powers that eludes the grasp of Scotland Yard.

I like the meter and rhymes; it flows well and keeps us engaged with creativity and quirkiness.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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34
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

I was browsing your port and found something that looked lighthearted enough for my fussbudget tastes. I love the collaborative aspect of it. I’ve often wondered if collaborating on a single static item is possible around here. One of my old friends had an idea about that, but it fell flat.

This is a charming story about a little girl and her first day at school. I loved the inclusion of her beloved teddy bear, and the twist about Ms Devine was slightly unexpected and interesting. The characters and storyline fell together well even as you took turns writing, and it was very nice to read.

I did find some typos scattered throughout, but they didn’t distract from the narrative. As an item in a larger project of which I’m unaware, I think this was a great way to experiment with having two people work together on a story. The words and phrases used are bright and creative; I chuckled at the playground nursery rhyme, and I thought “a long coat of looking at” was ingenious to describe a sizing up stare. I was afraid it would be sad, but overall it was happy, with the potential for greater depth to be explored in the future.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review of Since We're Here  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

This was enjoyable and nice to read. It reminds me of the themes of various songs written over the years. The simplicity and repetition leads to a conclusion that makes us smile as we see the difference a little support can bring. Your title and subtitle are a good hook, since I was looking at the sidebars for something to review today.

I might suggest using Size 4 Verdana to make it stand more prominently on the page. Also, three relevant genres are always a good idea to help people find it when browsing and also to provide more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill Award. I would suggest “Relationship,” “Friendship,” and “Philosophy,” but there are others.

If you want you can enter this in a couple of contests: "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"  and "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  They don’t require prompts and accept previously written items. Just add a line count to the bottom of the poem, and you’re good to go.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Hale and hearty  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A brief and simple poem, bringing to mind the inner strength of the elderly and the assumptions others make about them.

I like how you used the subtitle to explain the "why" of the poem, though perhaps that could have been included in a dropnote. Subtitles usually give a hint to the theme of the item, though I know it would be hard to do with a poem of this length.

I found this using the Random Read and Review button. I like it.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I identify deeply with this poem about profound loneliness. Just this morning I was like “girl, do you realize you think enough for five people?” I try to think everyone else’s thoughts for them, forever wondering if I’m annoying people when I say something or ask them a favor, wondering why they’re not reacting to my posts or reviewing my items or taking longer than usual to respond to something. In real life, it’s even more complicated, as I assume everyone thinks I’m “weird” and whatever I do or say is strange or out of the ordinary. And when I approach the “big questions” about the meaning of life, it becomes quite overwhelming and mind boggling.

Your words are raw and sincere, and the rhyme flows well from beginning to end. I would suggest using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. The row of boxes at the top of the text entry space are the buttons which help us with formatting here. You can click on the question mark to open up a useful handbook. I would also suggest choosing three applicable genres for your item; this helps people find it when browsing, and also gives more opportunities to be nominated for a Quill award. You could select “Emotional,” “Relationship,” and “Drama…” there are others.

You could also submit this to my two favorite poetry contests around here: "First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest"  These two don’t require a prompt and will take previously written items.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings and Happy Account Anniversary!

Well, I’m not quite sure how I stumbled across this item in your port…

Your declarations of what you’ll do as the ruler of the world are by turns amusing and satisfying. I chuckle at the indications of ego and pettiness, yet I have to admit that overall, your plans to improve the world’s conditions by hook or by crook are admirable and well intentioned. The proposals here, though exaggerated, contain many truths about life and the way we feel things should be instinctively. I love the emphasis on remaining married, the absolute refusal to accept lies and dishonesty, and the lofty goals to clean up the planet by reducing, reusing and recycling. And your honesty in admitting you have no clue how you would accomplish most of these things is good. We can work together on a plan…

You forgot to mention the giant corporations which control many aspects of society these days, including pollution and social media, communications and manufacturing. Monopolies would have to be broken up, bargains would have to be struck to assign funds to everyone according to their needs and allow them to choose jobs according to their talents. Life is a big mess, and if you ever did rule the world you’d have a huge task ahead of you.

I’m curious as to what prompted this lofty statement of just exactly 2000 words; was it a special contest? I see you have made no changes to it whatsoever since posting it, which is probably a personality issue with you rather than an assumption that it’s perfect as it is. I see a few minor typos, and I would definitely recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and accessibility across devices. But hey, at least you didn’t use Comic Sans, which defaults to the almost illegible proprietary Snell Roundhand on my iPad! Also, you need to use three relevant genres for the item so people can find it when browsing. I would recommend “Nonsense,” “Fantasy,” and “Political…”

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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for entry "Swing" 
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I’m here for I Write.

I enjoy reviewing your poetry because it’s usually quite simple and brief. This is no different. I love how you’ve employed the prompt pattern to create an elegant self referential poem which is slightly humorous yet encouraging. “Just as easy to plant a seed” reminds us how simple poetry creation can be, as we reflect on ideas close to our hearts and put our feelings down on paper in rhymes and meters and casual free flowing compositions.

The prompt is fully explained in a tidy dropnote, and I appreciate the inclusion of the equally elegant example poem from the writer who originally designed the poem form. I know not all items require Size 4 Verdana font, but I’ll say it anyway *Laugh* at the bottom of the prompt note you have the emoticons which were not included because the WML wasn’t copied. You could probably clear out that last part, as it’s understood. This was a light and fun read with an appealing structure and a full explanation.

How handy to have a book to toss little poems into; I debate often with myself about where to store the poetry I write (I haven’t written much lately because I’ve been so obsessed with preparing stories for my Musicology Anthology project…) Items are nice because we can assign three genres and gather reviews more easily. But books are quite convenient for shorter, simpler items which don’t need much attention.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Stage - 1  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

Don’t give up. Your dreams can be achieved if you work hard enough and keep your head up. Don’t pay any attention to the haters or those who would try to hold you back and bring you down. They’re only wishing they could be where you are at this stage in your life. Negativity doesn’t reflect on you, but on the others. I’m proud of you for working towards being a lawyer. It’s a laudable career with lots of potential to do good in the world.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing and pursuing your goals *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

I love the bold centered text, the building up of unique metaphors to describe the night writing process, and the glimpses of how your novel is unfolding. The description of the noisy refrigerator had me laughing. The experience is relatable because I have spent many nights sitting up writing stories in the peace and solitude it affords, though I haven’t yet attempted a novel.

A line count would be nice, in case you would like to enter this into one of the promptless poetry contests around here ("First and Second Chance Poetry Contest"  and "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" ) Also, it’s generally recommended to choose two more appropriate genres so you have all three filled out. I would recommend “Experience” and “Personal.”

This was an enjoyable item.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button, so I haven’t had a chance to look at your other episodes.

This feels like the groundwork for a real thriller. You have all the main ingredients for a standard item of fiction: goals, stakes, obstacles, and characters with the potential to grow and develop. The only problem I feel it has, is it’s written in summary form, running briefly over the events as though capturing a movie scene. I do see you’ve put efforts into the descriptions, using similes and setting the geographic area well. But we feel disconnected from what’s happening because we have a sort of “50,000 foot” view of it.

Perhaps what you should do is choose a character and “climb into their head,” describing the experience moment by moment as they see it and feel it. This isn’t as difficult as it might seem, and you don’t have to use the first person PoV to do it. It’s called “third person limited,” and allows us to live the story in a much more vivid and memorable way than if we feel as though we’re getting it from an impassioned observer. And as the main character experiences the events unfolding, we can see how the other character interacts with him in specific ways which show the bond between them, rather than simply telling us that their bond grew stronger after the escape from the altar site. This leads into another writing technique called “Show, Don’t Tell.” It’s always more interesting and creates a better connection with the story when we see emotional reactions, which I do see you’ve included. Fear is a pretty easy emotion to describe how it impacts us *Laugh*

I hope this advice has been helpful. This story has a lot of potential, and I think I’ll stop by your port and check your other episodes.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings and welcome to writing.com!

I found this using the Random Read and Review button.

This is such a poignant and beautiful story, there’s not much I can say about it. You’ve woven a dark and haunting web of strange beauty and darkness lurking beneath the waves of the Loch. At first I was thinking of a serpentine “Loch Ness” monster, but this formerly human creature is far more captivating, as we see the beauty in brokenness, the inherent danger of becoming enthralled by something so foreign and powerful, and the ultimate loss of one’s being to the overwhelming tragedy of what lies beneath the stunning surface. The words of wisdom provided by the granny are relatable and significant, and I appreciated your descriptions of the Scottish setting.

I noticed you use the simile technique rather frequently, employing the word “like” to illustrate a comparison about 15 times throughout the story. This creates a mystical, poetic effect, but one should be careful not to overdo it.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count would be a good idea as well, in case you want to enter it into a contest. (Most prefer under 2000 words.)

I really enjoyed reading this; it was dark, yet lovely, haunting but not upsetting. A refreshing break from the ordinary.

Take care, thanks for sharing and keep writing *Smile* *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings, sir,

This is an elegant and picturesque retelling of the old fairytale. I was expecting a story and found instead a careful blank verse poem, epic but at the same time perfectly natural and realistic, if such an enormous beanstalk were to grow.

If you know anything about me by now, you might be aware I’m a fan of *Think* *DragonHead* *DragonHeadB*, and I couldn’t help being reminded of this 10th Anniversary cover art   of their debut album Night Visions with your description of the boy rising to the tops of the clouds. There is much metaphor to be appreciated in that thought and visual. (In fact, it applies to the original cover art as well, since there was initially a dense fog which cleared to reveal the true heights.)

We see the only giants Jack tackles are perhaps his own, as he probably wonders if he’ll ever get back down to home but continues upwards anyway. You’ve used excellent poetic vocabulary and even paused to add a subtle note on the big old word “cumulonimbus.” And the final thematic “moral” which wraps it up is something universal and relatable. Jack will have that view in his heart for the rest of his life (if he does get back down… *Laugh*)

We are reminded how sometimes, a passion is not to be pursued mostly for the fame and glory, but rather because one enjoys what they’re doing and feels they are creating something of lasting beauty and impact. I’m sure you didn’t set out to win four awards with this poem; you thought it would be something enjoyable and meaningful. Congratulations on the recognition this fine work has received.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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45
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

What a poignant and touching picture you’ve painted of a life that was not quite enough. We see the brink of tragedy hinted at many times, and the slippery slope of old age and feebleness comes all too soon. I don’t think this life was a happy one; we see the person dying basically alone, with no loved one by their side, no children, no one to help them when they fell. It’s heartbreaking to think the person couldn’t find another love after the first one left, or that they couldn’t at least have a child. One wonders what the underlying worldview was behind their life, and whether there was some way they could have had a more fulfilling experience, or if we’re all simply pushed along by fate to some end we didn’t necessarily choose.

I would recommend using Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices.

This was powerful and haunting. We all face these “cliffs” in our lives, and we have to face them with some sort of optimism or else all is lost. Or is there any way to handle these fateful events to steer them to a happier conclusion? Such questions linger long after the story is read and moved aside.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Hanky Panky  
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

Found this by using the Random Read and Review button.

Wasn’t sure what to expect, but the E rating reassured me and I got a good chuckle out of it. It’s nifty you were able to incorporate a zany historical feature into the story. I assume the prompt was the word “hanky panky”? I always like having the specific prompt at the bottom. Formatting is good. I can’t think of anything to change here. It was an amusing read.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings,

A fine, thoughtful poem, stuffed with philosophical musings on the madness of today’s world and the cultural battles we all face. I love your tidy way of writing poetry, with neat rhymes and steady meter. You are able to say serious things with a form that most people might consider trite and predictable.

The theme is that of rising above the madness with truth and facts, being able to lead by example and create order out of the chaos that ensues when truth is disregarded and emotions run high. In a world where feelings so often dictate the way things are done and how people interact amidst cultural issues and differences.

I enjoyed reading it and have no suggestions for improvement, as it’s open to interpretation and conveys a lot of meaning.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings, Jack,

Thank you for the award, the shoutout and for sharing the opportunity to learn more about your music experience. I enjoyed reading your story and seeing all the different artists and styles of music you enjoy. I’ll probably be checking out some of those classics. That harmonica piece is especially nice.

I never tell anyone to change what they’ve written in a personal essay, and your formatting is nifty, which leaves me room to ramble on about my own music adventures *Laugh* (that’s polite and tidy, to provide X-links to the videos rather than embedding everything; even in dropnotes they can get messy.)

Ah, the good old days of 45s and record players… did you know vinyls are making a comeback? Quaint, indeed. I like my music best offline, in the 90’s fashion. I don’t own an iPod - does anyone?? - but I do own an obsolete little smartphone which I’ve spent the past couple years slowly building a playlist on by using TubeMate to peel audio off of YouTube (ssh, don’t let anyone know!) I don’t believe in paying for music, and I detest the free versions of online streaming services that presume to tell me what I like (if I’m listening to a OneRepublic album from 2006, I don’t want to hear Maroon 5’s Moves Like Jagger between tracks! *Sick*) And also the “nerdy” stuff is unavailable on streaming: live shows, acoustics, unreleased demos or deep cuts from before an artist was signed to a label, etc. All the little unknown things that make me feel like I have a closer connection to the artists… or at least I know something the average Spotify listener doesn’t.

My tastes have broadened over the years; I’m a fan of John Fogarty and CCR, U2, Tom Petty, string instrumentals (Simply Three, The Piano Guys, Lindsey Stirling, Katarina Protsenko…) and just last year I discovered What Becomes of the Brokenhearted and Eddie Vedder covering You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away, which last two appeal to my “emo” side (I use the term loosely…)

I know pretty much everything there is to know about Imagine Dragons and OneRepublic, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: my story "The Firemen"  was written as a vent of my feelings, assumptions and impressions about the lead singers of those two at a time when I was considering boycotting one of them… long story that doesn’t need to be told. My deep understanding of the two guys, from years of experience, ended up being channeled into two of the most colorful characters I’ve made in a while…

Did I mention I have an uncanny and often downright annoying ability to recognize a song by the first two seconds and an artist by their voice a mile away? It’s hard to shop, walk into a gas station or sit down in a restaurant when I’m so attuned to music. A delightfully (or distressingly) distracting hobby. I used this quirk in the character of my lady protagonist in "Tools of the Trade" . Both of which I’ve received your assistance with *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*

Was this even a review? Never mind… I’m sure you’re not looking for advice here *BigSmile*

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

I found this using the Random Read and Review button…

Oh boy, this is great. You have the bones of an excellent story here, and you must have written it so quickly, all in one day. It could take me a week to assemble a backstory and a character like Sam in my head… although upon consideration, I already have a redhead Samantha in there who needs a story of her own *Laugh* I need some of that NaNo energy now; I’ve got fifteen short stories to write for Jeff’s Music Anthology project, due by July 1st.

I know this is just a rough narrative to use as notes, but it reads as well as anything I’ve read around here, with a couple minor typos for coming together fast. I love the way Samantha’s character is sketched out, and I love her as a character. It seems any novel involving her would be delightful. The way you’ve described her relationship with her mom and dad, and how she loves people watching in the beautiful places in Europe and filling notebooks with thoughts and descriptions… it’s all so relatable and makes for a delightful vignette of a very interesting lady.

May I ask how this project turned out? Did you complete the NaNo? I think I’d like to learn more.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
50
50
Review by
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings,

Thank you for requesting a review.

First I’ll get the pesky formatting details out of the way. On WdC it’s preferable to use Size 4 Verdana font to ensure readability and compatibility across devices. A word count at the top of each item is also nice, so we know what we’re getting into. Other than that, you’re pretty good.

It begins in a relatable everyday fashion, describing a young lady’s discontent at her dull job in realistic, down to earth terms. When it begins to get to the fantasy area with the magic spray, it feels rather comedic. I wondered if it would be a quick-witted Alice in Wonderland/ Through the Looking Glass kind of thing, with layers of humor and a subtle satirical theme. Or perhaps it was just totally goofy, since the primary genre is Comedy. But the Otter’s introducing the premise of the magic spray, and the idea of escaping to an illusory world where beautiful perfect scenarios can be seen but never quite experienced, is quite powerful and carries a lot of potential.

Your choice of an otter is adorable. I can envision this as being the beginning of a touching Disney movie, where the heroine learns how much better it is to make the best of real life rather than being drawn into a dream world. If I may go off on a tangent (which I often do in my reviews) it reminds me of the Frozen sequel and its aftermath, which many Frozen fans have objected to as the post sequel world has been developed over the years. It appears that Elsa, rather than living with her sister Anna in the real world of Arendelle, has chosen instead to live alone in a far distant northern ice land, with four elemental spirits and the ability to relive the past In vivid memories of her deceased parents. This new scenario, people say, negates the entire theme of the original Frozen movie, which was to embrace the differences that make one unique and use them for good in the world one is born into with one’s family.

Meaning that you have an extremely significant theme here that is worth developing: does the heroine venture further into this mirror world, does she become in a sense “addicted” to it, does she find a way to reconcile the pain of everyday existence with the potential of what could have been? Is there a time warp involved?

I really enjoyed this beginning, and I look forward to seeing more of it down the road.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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