*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/27
Review Requests: ON
1,493 Public Reviews Given
1,547 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
Previous ... 23 24 25 26 -27- ... Next
651
651
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a lovely resource, bless you for putting all this together. I look forward to exploring the listed items more soon.
652
652
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Lovely characterisation of the Austen family. I read a lot about them and I think you've got them just right. I like the hint at the start that Mr Austen suspects there is something odd about the visitors from the future. Also the blunder about the Nutcracker being written at a later time was a good idea to include. I like the historic details and lovely opera description. Also the pictures at the end.
653
653
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
These are great tips and very helpful as a beginner’s guide to poetry. Many of the suggestions might be applied to other forms of writing, such as fiction.
654
654
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful poem, reading it made me feel warm and happy. The poem had a lovely musical quality. I liked the way that the repetition in the second and last sentences of each stanza created a song-like refrain. Some gorgeous imagery, I like the 'butterflies ballet best.'
655
655
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I'm pleased that Gretchen and Angel arrive too so they don't miss out on the fun. I also love how everyone keeps pretending to Jane that they're from the Regency times as it would be hard to explain they were from the present. Thank goodness Gretchen and Angel like the tea! I'm looking forward to the next part where they go to the opera and get to know Mrs Austen too.
I noticed there was an unnecessary second 'but' in this sentence: The ladies were speechless but Gretchen but so she spoke up. "We are visiting my aunt Florence Venerall."
656
656
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I liked how you and Jennifer make up a story about the carriage accident and where you're from to make it sound like you're part of Jane Austen's world. The description of the house felt so real it was like being there. The discussion of women's jobs then and now was excellent as it showed how Jane struggled as a woman writer with many people having the same attitude as her father did in the Regency times. It also makes it believable that she's want to be friends with you an Jennifer. The Dr Pepper joke made me smile!
657
657
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderfully detailed and I'm sure this will set the scene for your novel well. You're very imaginative in the way that you have created such a full and complex fantasy world. It reminds me of Tolkien's 'Silmarillion' in style. It makes me wonder what the rest of the story will be about.
658
658
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow! I love this. The idea of going back into the past into Jane Austen's time is so cool and I would love to time travel back to meet Jane. I like the fact that the seance provides the excuse for you and Jennifer to dress in historical costume so that when Jane and her family meet you in the carriage they will think you're part of their time rather than obviously modern. Also it was a great twist that Jane didn't just appear in the room at the seance but there was a dramatic carriage accident.
And there are lots more chapters to the story too. I'll definitely check those out...
659
659
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
One of the loveliest poems I've read. The piece has an effortless flow to it and incorporates the story of the phoenixes and their mythology well. I love the repeated sentences in the first and last stanzas as they give the poem a song-like quality.
660
660
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (3.5)
Welcome to Writing.com and good luck with your writing. I love the idea of writing a fuller backstory of the relationship of James and Lily Potter. I've copied the story below with some corrections to help you out with getting it into a better English format:

James Potter were never the boy around the girls doing what his best friend since their first year Sirius Black. He was never the boy snogging whatever girl he wanted at that time he waited for the love of his heart to like him but Lily Evans was a hard person to get liked by if she had seen you many times bully ''innocent'' people or her ex best friend Severus Snape as he sees it. Marlene McKinnon was both his and Lily's best friend she always wanted them to at least be friends but Lily disliked James or at least she said she did. James and Lily never fought. They maybe argued but it was very rare especially when they are head boy and girl.

Lily was never a girl that fancied James but she started to accept him more and more but never his old bullying which he had ended to be friends Lily or on Lily's good side. Lily had been friends with Remus Lupin and Marlene McKinnon ever since their first year but she shared them with James Potter. She didn't call him arrogant toe rag or something like that anymore because he stood up for her when she was called an really bad word because of her blood status an muggleborn.

'Dora what is it?' Lily asked her best friend Dorcas who came in breathing heavily.

'James wants you down there in the entrance and it's no snogging or sexual,' said Dorcas

'Dora how do you know that it wouldn't?' asked Lily

'Just trust me Lily,' said Dorcas

'Fine I trust you but tell Remus that I went to mine and James head dormitory we talk about our day tomorrow,' said Lily.

'He knows that you are gonna be there he was there with James when I came there so I don't need to,' said Dorcas.

'Okay see you tomorrow Dora I'm going to bed after what James wants me,' said Lily.

'Good night Lily,' said Dorcas.

'Good night,' said Lily and left Gryffindor common room.
661
661
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very dramatic. I love how you reveal details as the story progresses in a natural way. It makes the reader feel like a detective trying to piece together what's going on. The narrator is a sinister character. It's unclear who is the protagonist and why the narrator is interrogating the girl. This makes readers want to read on to discover more.
662
662
Review of My Angelic Demon  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Loved this, the ending where he revealed he's a demon just undermined the expectations that had been building at Sebastian's good deeds. I'd love to know more about why a demon was helping Rachel and her family. Also if he's her guardian angel what will that mean for her in the future and why has she got a demon for a guardian angel?
I liked the way in which the story packed two dramatic incidents into a short space without them feeling forced. Also I found that the story had a lot of realism due to the opening setting the scene in an ordinary world and describing Sebastian like he may be someone you'd meet on the street (if slightly usual). A question mark over him grew as he began to answer so politely like someone from a story. If anything Rachael's sense that he is unusual and compelling might be heightened even more to make it sound even more belivable that she agrees when he says he'll escort her.
663
663
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought this was great. I love the Classical myths and making a Marvel type action adventure version of them is an inspired idea. I also liked how you blended in Classical beings with Hades's addresses to ordinary humans so we get a human perspective on the events.
664
664
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Such a wonderful idea. I love classic literature too, especially Jane Austen and the Bronte sisters.
665
665
Review of Lillielle  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lovely, I like her hair.
666
666
Review of Chapter 1  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A lovely blend of fantasy elements with concerns that relate to modern life e.g. 'the time of the rift.' The opening with Arman getting out of a truck and then clearly being a typical fantasy elf in appearance set the mood of the chapter nicely. I also liked the fact that he did not confront a monster at first but a deer. His kindness in frighting it away from danger blends nicely with his otherwise tough warrior demeanour. I liked the mystery introduced with the arrival of Siobahn and Arman trying to work out more about her - it made me want to read on.
667
667
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Brilliant comedy sketch, I love the idea of dragons living in modern homes with things like air conditioning and kitchens with cupboards stocked with cereal. Global warming is a topical issue to address. I found the idea of dragons being bothered by the heat funny given that they are fire breathing creatures so surely must be used to the heat of flame. The ending was very sweet.
There were just a couple of sentences that didn't make sense. Perhaps the auto correct has backfired but these sound weird:
"Stin ygeisas!" many people shouted.
"Potden xeis," he said happily.
668
668
Review of Princess Alfie  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
So cute! Alfie reminds me of the Princess and the Pea. You should write a poem or short story to go with this lovely photo.
669
669
Review of Swing of My Youth  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A flawless use of traditional rhyming poetic form. The imagery of magic and stars as the poem began grabbed my attention. Make believe whilst playing outside on swings and other play equipment as children is something that most people can relate to. The poem became more poignant as personal details were included of how much the swing meant to you when you couldn't see. How close you were to it through playing there was made vivid by the fact that you knew it by feel and imagination. I like the way that the poem ends by bringing in the way you look back on it from the present and would still like to play on the swing inside. I'm not surprised and I hope that if you have a garden you add a swing to it for the grandkids (if not secretly for you)!
670
670
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Brilliantly written. The scene was full of menace and had me on the edge of my seat wondering if Merridy would escape. I hope that one day she does and that this is part of a fuller story that explains how and why Renel captured her in the first place.
671
671
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Amazing! The characters were so vivid and you painted a lovely picture of the bond between brother and sister. You come across as a fluent writer who has put a lot of thought into this piece of work. I do hope that it is the beginning of a longer story as I would love to read more, especially as the end is so intriguing.
The ending was particularly amazing as it was such an unexpected and beautiful picture and I loved the way that you created a sense of unease in the paragraph before it saying that July was frightened, then undermined it with an enchanting sight. Other parts of the work that stood out for me were the description of Leah smiling and showing her newly finished dress. The imagery here made me feel as though I was in the room watching and could see the lovely dress.
672
672
Review of Together Forever  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I love the way the story of the poem flows so effortlessly. The fact that it follows a poem structure doesn't interfere with the story at all. With some poetry the poetic form interferes with the story and this pulls the reader away from the world of the poem, but this doesn't at all. Well done! A nice blend of fairytale elements and most importantly a happy ending.
673
673
Review of Baked in Austin  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Short and sweet! I loved how this poem captures the mood of the heatwave today and the restrictions of living in Covid times more generally. 'Like living on the sun' was a particularly vivid line. The only suggestion I have is that the full stop at the end of 'Brief respite from a cloud.' isn't necessary and removing it would make this line make more sense in conjunction with the final line which relates to it.
674
674
Review of Ophelia  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
Wonderful poem, I love the Ophelia story so it captured my attention. It was a lovely poem of remembrance for her young life tragically cut short. Reading it felt like a passage from Shakespeare due to the poetic form and language that you used. The only suggestion I have to keep the poem consistent is to check for places where you used 'you' and 'your.' I spotted about 3 times this occurred. I thought the use of thy, thou etc. was much more in keeping with the effect you're trying to achieve so change the 'you' and 'your' to 'thy' and 'thou.'
675
675
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved the way that the poem used the image of the cloak throughout to explore the different meanings of the cloak so that it moved from being a mundane item of clothing to having a deeper religious meaning. I liked the mixture of longer and shorter sentences. My favourite sentence of the poem was:
'You wore your warmth
like flaps of coats, to be taken off
and placed on other shoulders.'
I found this image vividly engaged the senses and summed up the metaphor of the cloak as also meaning a cloak of kindness that Abdu'l-Bahá gave to those he helped.
My only suggestion as someone reading the poem randomly was that the explanation of who the poem is about might be given first?
675 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 27 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hollymerry/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/27