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Review Requests: ON
1,493 Public Reviews Given
1,547 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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576
576
Review of MediEvils  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This tale had the tone of being spoken by a medieval bard. I liked the way in which historical details were introduced in a natural way as if they were related by someone from the medieval era trying to explain the events to a modern listener. The story felt immersive due to the detailed descriptions, sensory details and rendering of the dialect of the characters. It was easy to understand and the vampire plot was chilling.
577
577
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
It's good that Megan and Miles make up and that she tries to tell him about being from a different time period. It was a very touching and funny conversation, especially when he worried that she was a ghost! Rainey sounds like she's out to make trouble still.
578
578
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
It's cool that you incorporated the time traveller Rainey from another story. It works well including a time traveller. I would like to travel in time as the women in this story do, but I can see why they like Jane Austen's era best.
It was nice to have Jane Austen in this chapter again briefly and I'm looking forward to her being in the story again, and to seeing what happens in France.
579
579
Review of Ghost Lover  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautifully written, eloquent poem. The poem had a nice flow and used poetic form well. I enjoyed the use of imagery drawn from the natural world to reflect the emotions of the situation e.g. 'Floating like a goddess of a sea of ice' and 'Falling through the clouds.' Because of this the poem takes on an almost mythic dimension.
580
580
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
A hilarious comedy that felt very realistic. I loved the way in which Stephanie began with the sweet sentiment of wanting to recreate a nostalgic childhood memory and then things turned out badly as she got stuck. Poor woman, it sounded so embarrassing! I'm pleased that at least her friend was able to help her out eventually, even if Penelope did candidly point out that her underwear was showing! The ending was nice and tied up the story well.
You might want to check back for grammatical errors as I notice that finger spaces were missing in a few areas, especially after commas.
581
581
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I wonder what the bargain is between Rainey and Calin? It sounds like they mean to make trouble and drive Jennifer into Bradley's arms.
I liked the fun dialogue between the modern women here which reminded me just how strange being in Regency times must be to them. Also I love the details of the the costumes and the experience of travelling to balls in the dark without a car and the possibility of the werewolf spotting them. Before street lighting, wealthy people often planned a ball to coincide with a full moon so that guests would have a safer journey if they went back in their carriages at night. As full moons and werewolves are linked, it's very likely that a werewolf would be around when a ball was on!!!
582
582
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful, vivid and easy to understand piece. I love the imagery drawn from nature which creates the impression of a lovely setting that is refreshing to read about. The piece draws well upon tropes of fantasy fiction and mythology.
Happy writing!
583
583
Review of Invocation  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
A wonder blend of the relatable and fantasy elements. I liked how this piece opened on a prayer we all know but then added in the unexpected as we realised that earth as we know it does not exist. This was further strengthened by the detail of two suns. Also the mention of Romans and Druids alongside the Christian imagery was intriguing. The characters were well introduced.
584
584
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I’m still not sure how it will end with Jennifer and Calin - this story keeps me guessing. I wondered if Bradley would wake up sooner than expected from the sleeping potion but he didn’t fortunately. Jennifer is in a hard situation with Calin asking her to make a choice.
585
585
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The romantic entanglements continue... I'm pleased that Jennifer seems to be back with Bradley for the moment. She cares about him a lot and she'll be glad that he had his memory raising accident to make her realise that he's important to her. I love the blend of humour in this piece, this line was funny:
'Have you seen that devil Cahill or Cahoot or what ever his name is?"'
586
586
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the ballad like poetic form that you used here. The way in which this piece commemorates a battle in such a song-like way makes it sound like a song that will be remembered though the ages as a way of recalling what happened on this historic day. Although it is a battle and accompanied by tragic losses, the poem makes the moment beautiful as well - I was particularly struck by the lovely imagery of the banners. There was a distinct sense of the differences between the people of Middle Earth in this poem that accurately reflects how they're portrayed in Tolkien's work.
587
587
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a brilliant twist in the tale! I'm pleased that Bradley is back in Jennifer's life but with all the forgetting brought about by their previous injuries and illness I wonder what might happen if they do remember that Jennifer rejected Bradley for Calin? I love how this story keeps readers guessing.
One part you might want to change is to make it 'tree limb' in this sentence:
'A limb knocked me off a horse and gave me a head injury.'
Otherwise it sounds like someone's arm or leg hit Bradley and made him fall from his horse!
588
588
Review of King of My Pond  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
A brilliantly funny update on the classic 'Frog Prince' fairy story. I like how you've switched the events into the modern day and added in a detailed and believable backstory for the frog lawyer. Another good addition to the traditional tale was the dangers that beset the frog, such as other animals and humans wanting to eat him.
589
589
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I wonder if Bradley and Rainey will get together eventually? It was nice to have a new character appearing from modern times. You did well writing about the thoughts of Bradley and Rainey's background, both parts were well written, interesting and belivable.
590
590
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I see you have a picture of that giant Mr Darcy cake on your portfolio cover. I wonder if he's been eaten now? There would be a lot of slices of cake to share round, although he looks too good to eat!

The scene with Jennifer falling ill was very dramatic, especially as only the gypsies could help her. I'm pleased she got better eventually but poor Bradley! He was a nice guy, but then I could tell that Jennifer was in love with Calin the way she kept thinking about him so much even when she had Bradley. I hope Bradley will find a nice girlfriend to help him get over his heartbreak soon.
I like the wolf and the way that only the modern girls can hear him, making the wolf mysterious - this is a nice detail.
591
591
Review of Snowpaws Story  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
There was some good dialogue and action in this piece and I liked the names. However, it felt like this is the middle of a sequence and I found it hard to work out what type of creatures Snowpaw and the others. They seem to have a clear social structure and to be enemies of the badgers. I would like these aspects of the story to be explained to make it easier to follow for new readers coming to the story.
592
592
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A lovely song-like quality stands out in this poem. It was dramatic and I love the natural imagery and names. The use of repetition makes it sound musical.
593
593
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A lovely, vividly written story that makes good use of imagery and the senses. I loved the woodland setting. The tale was well written and easy to follow, making it a perfect read for all ages. It shows a strong sense of imagination.
594
594
Review of Badger  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A brilliantly funny story. I love the strong sense of voice and the characters in this piece. Jossiah and Pearl remind me of Roald Dahl characters in their mismatched pairing and their hilarious argument sequence. The way that the children viewed Josiah and mistook him as the one who was meant by badger was very funny.
My only adjustment to make it clearer it is the mother replying in the second line is to put 'Ma' there, not 'she.'
595
595
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A lovely and informative piece that wove in some fascinating multicultural and historical connections. The mention of the perfumes with their varied scents was evocative and made me think how broadly ranging our sense of smell is. Scent is a sense that should be used more often in writing I feel.
596
596
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The ending made me smile where they kiss behind a chicken coop! It was nice that Jane got to dance with one of the military men and that some of the naval men were friendly. They remind me of Captain Wentworth from 'Persuasion.' Not what the modern girls had been hoping for when heir gentelemen boyfriends got other women flirting with them though!
It was a nice touch that the house inspired 'Emma.' I love reading about which places inspired Jane Austen's writing and watching TV programmes about this. The best one was 'Jane Austen at Home' with Lucy Worsley, but I'm not sure if it would have been shown on in the States? Anyway, it was all about the lovely places in England that inspired her stories.
597
597
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Nice to see Jane return into the novel. The mention on the military men makes me wonder what will happen next, will Mr Wickham make an appearance I wonder?! Or will the ladies find more men to make their choice even harder?
598
598
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The agonising over whether to choose a gypsy of a gentleman for a boyfriend continues... Another lovely ball scene and entertaining dialogue that holds the attention well.
This was such a pretty and romantic description, perfect... ‘ "Of course, I will. I love going to the balls. I love you, too." Megan's eyes shined like stars in the sky.’
599
599
Review of From the Shore  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful, heartfelt poem. I loved how the poem showed such a deep familiarity with Tolkien’s style and characters, even down to the use of Quenya the elven language. Yet the emotion of grief reached way beyond its context in the way in with Arwen expressed it so mournfully and beautifully in this poem. A fitting tribute to Aragorn and their love.
600
600
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
A great ending, it leave me wondering if Jennifer and Megan will ever finally decide between the gentlemen and the gypsies in their lives. I also liked the part where Bradley is putting one fire out and Jennifer drops her cigarette nearly staring another one! It's good that Jane Austen and her family get mentioned again in this chapter as I was wondering what was happening with them. Also repeating things like the Dr Pepper and Diet Pepsi add believable continuity to the story. I think the modern girls should be the ones who invent their favourite drinks back in Regency times - they would be sure to take on!
In 'potao casserole' you missed out the second 't' in potato.
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