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Review Requests: ON
1,493 Public Reviews Given
1,547 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and encouraging
I'm good at...
Proofreading for grammar, letting you know which areas of your writing work and which might be improved
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, historical, adventure, sci-fi
Least Favorite Genres
Murder, horror, erotica
Favorite Item Types
I’m happy to review all types of item
I will not review...
Anything with graphic violence, sexual content or profanity
Public Reviews
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501
501
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful, I love the soft colours of the sunset and their reflection in the water.
502
502
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A wonderfully interesting and well-written story full of fantasy and romance elements. I love the characterisation, especially the scheming Princess Amelia. The magical elements made this an enjoyable read. The ending was a nice twist with the prince marrying Melina on the day he was to marry Amelia.
503
503
Review of Research on Cupid  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A wonderful read! I love reading about myths and folklore and I admire how succinctly you covered myths of different origins about a character of the same type. I especially liked the mention of Angus Mac Og who features briefly in my fantasy novels drawn from Celtic myths.
504
504
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A lovely read with an interesting fairytale quality to it. The story was vividly described and held the reader's attention well as they wondered what would happen to Ellie after the air crash. The story did a good job at covering Ellie growing up in a natural and interesting way. I liked the dialogue sections with Susan and Ellie's grandmother. The ending was bittersweet as Ellie swam away from the terrifying fire demon towards her parents on the island.
505
505
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
What an inspiring and uplifting poem about rekindling the joy of writing. Just reading it made me enthusiastic too. I love the image of the phoenix that you carried throughout the poem. It was well written and I hope that now inspiration has touched you that you shall continue writing more lovely poems!
506
506
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Another wonderful read, I admire your world building and character writing skills. Maeyon came across as a very likable and interesting character. My favourite part was where Cecil Olwyn announces who she truly is at the ball, creating pandemonium amongst the guests! The piece was well written and easy to follow. I only spotted one mistake with an unnecessary comma near the end: 'best, interest'


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
507
507
Review of Dragon's Heart  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This sounds a wonderful story. I’ve downloaded a sample from Amazon and I’ll be sure to review it when I buy it. I see you used Olympia Publishers to publish it and I’d be keen on hearing more about your experience with them as I too have a fantasy novel I hope to publish.
508
508
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Beautifully written! I love the names, fantasy setting and vivid descriptions. The water sprites were just lovely. The story was well written and you obviously put a lot of thought into it, it struck me as having lots of potential.
509
509
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Wow! I'm amazed by the depth of thought you've put into your worldbuilding. It was nice to see you had thought about things like the religious deities, wildlife and geography in such detail as a lot of fantasy writers don't put anything as near as much thought into these things as you have. I could picture each scene, character and magical race as I read this - well done!
510
510
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow! This was a fantastic ending and much more fun than I thought the ending would be. I thought Zalita would send the women back to the present but I'm glad she didn't. It was lovely they married their own Regency 'Mr Darcys' and lived happily ever after except for the funny details about Rainey reappearing as the girlfriend of Jennifer's son and Megan's daughters falling in love with gypsies who look like Calin and Manolito! Very unexpected, heart-warming and memorable. I also like the funny picture of Jane Austen answering her phone by the pool, it sums up the mix of modern and Regency in this tale well.
511
511
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Argh! The gypsies are back with even more creative kidnap ideas. I loved the image of them wearing powdered wigs pretending to be footmen at the ball. I'm sorry this story is getting near the end. I like how it gets more dramatic as it goes on and I hope Jane Austen makes an appearance again before the women go back to the modern day.
The ball scene was beautiful and I love reading about the pretty dresses.
512
512
Review of A Ruse  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved this take on the beloved story. It was well written and the descriptions were awesome. There was a lot of creativity and humour in this and I enjoyed lines like 'by Merlin's sagging beard' and Harry looking like he has been sucker punched when his name comes out the goblet of fire! You obviously had fun writing this.
513
513
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I loved the part about Genevieve and Narlin working together. The studies came across as fascinating and I found myself wanting to learn magic from the lovely, fatherly wizard too. My favourite part was where he takes Genevieve outside into the beautiful glade with its waterfall in order to learn about flowers. The rabbit was cute. I also liked the ending of this chapter where she must learn about making poisons as this changes the mood and made me want to discover how this new more sinister aspect of her studies goes and if she eve has to use the poisons.
Chapter 20 was a moving, gripping read and I hung off every word. The tale about the water nymph was beautiful and tragic and it made me change my mind about the importance of studying poisons to understand that they may sometimes be necessary to use for helpful purposes as Narlin teaches Genevieve.
There were some lovely points of characterisation here, e.g. 'he said with his most-annoyed schoolmaster’s voice'

I think this sentence needs a little clarification - smelled as bad as Narlin's what? House? Potions? 'The air was fresh and clean, not that it had smelled bad at Narlin’s, but it just smelled incredibly fresh.'

I think the repetition of 'It was amazing' and 'It was wonderful' are a bit too similar here. Maybe get rid of one and replace it with elaborating on how beautiful the enchanting scene is? 'It was amazing. We gathered flowers and leaves, fungi and roots. We spent the entire day. It was wonderful.'
A bigger suggestion I have to make for the whole story is regarding your use of first-person narrative for the parts about Genevieve whereas the parts about the children are told in third- person narrative. I would suggest telling the whole story in third-person narrative as it seems odd mixing the perspectives. Also, recalling how I felt when I was younger reading stories like Narnia, the view point of the child characters always appealed most and felt more relatable than the adult perspectives. Putting the sections about Genevieve in the first person seems to make her views and perspective more key than those of the children, whereas having them in third-person would make these parts of the story blend into a story about the children and so be more appealing to younger readers.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
514
514
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
What a dramatic escape! I wondered what would happen but luckily Zalita came along. Bradley and Miles will be furious with the gypsy men! I love the bit where Jennifer calls Calin a caveman and Manolito tells Zalina to behave like a gypsy - hilarious!
515
515
Review of Existing  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Brilliant! A brave and meaningful poem which ended in an uplifting way calling for acceptance of everyone no matter their gender identity, disabilities etc. The poem was well written and thoughtful and I loved the imagery of magic and drawing that you chose. The repeated use of question marks underlined the key message of questioning prejudices.
516
516
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Wow, what an ending! I jumped in shock just as the heroines did as the waxwork figures moved. It was a surprise that they were there and I wonder what they're planning. This part of the story was amazing - my favourite yet amongst your many lovely plot twists.
Rachael sounds like a spoilt brat and I hope the convent knocks some sense into her!
The waxwork museum was a nice touch and very proper for the time when Madam Tussaurd and others were making waxworks of famous people. It must have been exciting for people visiting who (except for pictures) would never have seen famous people otherwise without TVs.
517
517
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
What a dramatic and emotional read! I love how the appearance of the gypsies makes the romance of the modern women with their Regency gentlemen lovers so stormy. It is a constant source of interest and drama.
My favourite part was the beautiful description of shopping for the lovely wedding dress, what a nice thing to do in Regency days when dresses were so pretty.
The ending was funny with the mischievous puppies. The Nuns will have their work cut out making Rachael behave!
518
518
Review of Wyvern  
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
A well written and exciting piece that gripped my attention. It would work well as an opening for a longer story about the adventures of the lead character and their wyvern. I liked how you bring wyverns into the story in addition to the much more well know dragons - this is something I tend to do by choosing lesser known folklore creatures for my novels. The part where the egg is retrieved was dramatic. I felt sorry for the character being overlooked because they did not own a golden dragon and that their mother's sacrifice hadn't been properly recognised as it deserved to be. This made me glad that the wyvern was a rare golden one and I was left hoping they would achieve great things together.
519
519
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story made me smile with the amazing surprise at the end! The story was heart-warming, funny and tense. I thought that the dialogue was excellent in expressing the emotions and hesitancy of the couple. I liked how this built towards the climax that left me wondering how things would go on from that moment. Hopefully there will be a happy end with the Sheepdog getting a new home and the couple getting married!
520
520
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought that this was beautifully written and it made me curious about reading the book. I hope that you have success finding a publisher. My favourite elements were the garden setting and inclusion of famous figures like Joseph Banks as this struck me as an original idea as I haven't read a Regency story that revolves around a garden setting despite beautiful Regency gardens abounding in Britain. I also liked the more usual Cinderella type story of Anne falling for a wealthy man. The end part where you said you like writing more than weeding made me smile!
To me this one sentence felt a little long and I feel that the query letter would be improved if it was either split or condensed: 'How Anne Blake comes to be the one who depicts the flowering orchid at the unique, one-day event despite her age, sex, class, and troublesome curiosity is the story I have told in the 95,000 word historical romance, THE GARDENER’S DAUGHTER.'
521
521
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The part about the puppy putting the moonstone in the bag was adorable. I wonder if the moonstone is what caused Megan to dream about being Manolito's wife with Kristie as their daughter? Especially as Kristie says she dreamed of Megan being her Mom? Rachael looks like she's spreading trouble...
522
522
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (5.0)
Absolutely beautiful! A very touching and relatable piece about the importance of friendship to two teenage girls. I hung on every word and I thought that you did a lovely job describing the cake baking making it so realistic. I could easily picture the girls and their friendship sounded natural and fun. The opening was wonderful with the lovely descriptions. I also liked the ending about the day being memorable to Mia - it was a nice way to sum up the piece.
There was only one thing that I spotted that needs altering. I think you mean 'remnants' not 'reminets' in one of the later paragraphs.
523
523
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: E | (4.5)
I loved the first line, it was intriguing and spot on for a good opening to make the reader want to continue. Also it was nice that you didn't immediately state that the character was a dragon but left the reader to work this out.
You did well evoking the havoc and fear the dragon creates in the village in a few short sentences. The idea of the attacking dragon being like a cat toying with the villagers was vivid and memorable. I liked the portrayal of the dragon's surety in her power being undermined as she is wounded by the brave village boy.
Perhaps you might add a sentence about the boy wounding her with his sword between these two lines: 'Down she swooped. The pain was wrenching.' At first I wasn't sure who had been hurt as no attack was described as taking place.
The ending was awesome - making the dragon sound menacing and promising an exciting story ahead.
524
524
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
The dialogue between Kristie, Megan and Jennifer was so cute and funny. Kristie sounds a lovely, smart little girl. I do hope Megan works out a way to give her a better chance in life. The ending where Manolito and Kristie talk about kidnapping Megan makes me wonder what will happen next!
525
525
Review by HollyMerry
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Lots of drama here! The fight scene was tense and I wonder if Drakelin with fight the two Regency gentlemen in a duel as he threatened. There was lots of tension here between the gentlemen and the gypsies with Megan and Jennifer caught in the middle. I like how they stuck up for themselves insisting that Zalita was their friend and that they want to help Manolito find his daughter. It was nice when she showed up at the end.
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