when i read it didnt go together. It sounds all confusing like some one just took a bunch or random stuff and shoved it together. You need to work on both your writing and your format. before you post stuff you probialy want to read it over or get someone else too. If you fixed it though it would be great.
My favorite part had to be the forth line on the 1st paragraph. I like how you make it rhyme. Your last paragraph was akward. :p but you did good. the format is nice and i found not a singel mistake. It seems like since ive joined WDC all the articles and storys and almost perfectly written. good job and keep up the good work.
i loved the first chapter. your format is nicely put. you have good grammer and i spotted no mistakes. your writing is very good. this makes me want to read the rest of the book. i just might if i have the time.
My favorite part was
I didn’t need to hear anymore. I jumped off to one side, and pulled at the branches with all my might, until they were far enough to drop into the pit.
very nice article. the moral of the article and what you are trying to prove is good. i believe that it is whats inside of you that matters. but you still have to look nice for your body is the temple of god. nice format as always and i found no mistakes. you did good with the article.
i like it. it is something that is good to start with. the format is okay but could use some working on. i would format it differnet. i didnt find any mistakes. i liked this entry it sounded good for the newbie contest. i like it.
Very nice. i didnt find a moral to the poem but do poems have morals usualy :p no. i liked the format you had it in it made it very easy for me to read. if i can read it easy that means that other people can read it easy which is a good thing. you did very good with your grammer and punctuation. i found no mistakes. i liked this poetry. not for what it said but for what it contained. music is a good thing that helps alot of us get through tough times in life. my favorite part was probialy the first three versus. i think this could be a very good song.
very nice but what does your charecter look like. and why was the child out in the middle of the street? i like the way you formated it and used it for a contest. I think you should explain your charecter alot more. you ended it like you were going to write another. i also think that you should think about what he does do you want your charecter to kill a little boy? that would make it kinda sad. you need to make a sequel for this one was very nice to read. i am stressed out but this calmed me down a little.
i think you should explain there mission and you could turn this into a book.
nice plot. your format is cool and i liked your charecter. but theres a vouple things you could do to make it better. i would make your paragraghs smaller and describe your charecter more. what is he good at what does he wear. you can tell about his past his family or stuff. i liked this story very much and think you should continue on making them.
i like how the charecter in the writing has determination to even if he lost just keep going until he does win. determination is used alot in writing. when you write a novel you need determination to finish it. and i like how you added fun to play. a lawn mower race what a ken idea. and i think your moral o the story about keep going is really good.
very nice by far my favorite part was how you added god into your poem. more people need to hear about god and you are spreading the word out which is good. the world can be a good place with god but if you follow thedevils foot prints it leads to sorrow.
i like the format you dis this in. and how you put little paragraghs here and there. i see talent in you and all you have to do is practice and you can be a great writer. i usealy dont review poems but i liked this one so much. is you have any thing else you need me to review just hollar.
I like your theme. i do agree with you though that smiles are a good thing.
By far i liked the moral of the story. To always smile. i think smiling is a good thing that sothes the soul. it makes you feel more like you. it makes you more you. it makes thoose around you like you better. if you have a frown you dont get many friends but if you always have a smile its differnt. and when you are troubled just smile for it will calm you down.
i found no mistakes or grammer mistakes. your form is preaty good but i would condense it a little more. and i would also say that you could expand this alot by adding more about what the smile does to thoose around you and encourage more people to smile.
Keep up the good work.
Very touching poem. I like it. A brother is a good thing to have. I like your format and the way you posted it. I didnt see any mistakes. Keep up the good work with your brother :p. hope you right many more and spread your writing across the world. :p
Very nice story. I didnt find grammer mistakes or writing mistakes. I like your story.
My favorite part was probialy
Things were brighter in the morning, but not in the way he hoped. Samuel woke up at eight o'clock in Trevor's guest bedroom, sunlight streaming through the curtains and adding onto the worst headache of his life.
lol. left and right. Good poem and grammer. I didn't spot a single mistake. Your wording is nice. And the size of you paragraphs is about the right size for a poem. Your doing good. Ill take a look at your port if you like. Keep up the good work.
I like how you make him talk to himself. I also like how you made your charecter choose the right thing to do. Very good grammer and i didnt spot a single mistake. Keep up the good work. and you should write a sequel.
Lol lesson learned right? Thoose were some weird looking socks :p. You have very good grammer. I only spotted one mistake.
One of the most memorable events that happened while I was Arts and Crafts Director happened when there were not even campers at on the property.
it should be like this.
One of the most memorable events that happened while I was Arts and Crafts Director happened when there wernt even campers on the property.
very nice poem. its a romance and being a boy its not my favorite but its preaty good.
For the first time I felt complete.
Every first minute of every day that I spend with you
I feel those same first feelings over and over again
How lucky I am to be able to remember when
Over and over again.
that has to be my favorite part. I found no mistakes and you grammer is perfect keep up the good work. :)
'You are what you eat?' Yeah, I’ve heard the silly aphorism many times. I'd usually respond with something akin to: “Amen, brother,” and flash a placating thumbs up, but in truth, I never did understand what it’s supposed to mean. I don’t feel like a 'Dim Sum,' but it does bring to mind a couple of pea-brains the wife encountered awhile back.
lol yeah you are what you eat that is a true statement. it just sounds funny :p.
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