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306 Public Reviews Given
1,051 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Don't Fall  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Don't Fall Open in new Window. (E)
An Italian sonnet. How I interpret love.
#915824 by Bekah Aura Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
Nice flow with an appropriate rhyming scheme of an Italian poem. You use very powerful imagery and metaphor...


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
appropriate....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
appropriate.....


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
"hearts" should be "heart's"


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Very nice piece...I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work....



God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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77
77
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Heart**Heart*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 To Touch a Man's Face Open in new Window. (13+)
A woman's desire and a rarely found insipiration.
#915822 by Trinita Moinuddin Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A nice read with a nice flow. Only one sentence--right at the end made me stumble. The last line: With those unspoken words he told her the most important thing a woman ever wanted learn - that he too longed for touching her face, in ways nobody had ever done before. It is a touching ending, but the wording was a little confusing to me.



*Balloon4*2.Grammar
Except for maybe the last line, I noticed no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I noticed no problems...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no errors....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
A very nice and touching piece. I enjoyed the read. Keep up the good work.

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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78
78
Review of Mistaken  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Mistaken Open in new Window. (ASR)
From my heart to my hands
#915146 by nkeys Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
I believe this piece would work better with some work on your punctuation.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I'd rather see a piece totally devoid of end-line punctuation, rather than it being used sporadically. I would captialize the first letter in the 3rd line, and place a comma at the end of that line. I would put a period at the end of the 4th line.

The remainder to the piece needs similar work on punctuation...it would help the reader to know how you meant it to be read...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
Misspellings I noticed: In the forth stanza:"are". In the last stanza: "running". In several stanza's, your "I" is not capitalized, and in other places it is....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
This is a beautiful and emotional piece. It has a lot of potential. I enjoyed the read! Keep writting!*Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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79
79
Review of Desert Illusion  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 Desert Illusion Open in new Window. (E)
Acrostic Poem for 'Every Week Something New Contest'
#915110 by Seraph - Dispirited Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
A beautiful poem--flow could be helped a bit with more precise punctuation....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I saw no problems....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation

I think it would help the flow a bit if you were to have:
A comma after line 1
A period after line 2
A period after line 5
A comma after line 14



*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I noticed no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
I love acrostics. Yours is beautiful. I enjoyed the read. If you decide to work on the punctution, let me know and I'll be happy to up the rating on this deserving piece. Keep up the good work....jacky

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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80
80
Review of On Coldness  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 On Coldness Open in new Window. (13+)
2nd person. Flashbacks and loneliness lead to...
#915611 by Amethyst Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This is an emotional piece with a wonderful use of language, but the flow of this piece is choppy due to multiple sentence fragments...for example: You are hated for the way you view the world. As a place of agony. As written, the second line is left as a sentence fragment.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
I noticed no problems...


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
When you use the three periods...such as this...*Smile*, you don't need a space after the last period


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
In: echos off you heart, "echos" should be "echoes"


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
I enjoyed this deeply emotional piece. If you decide to work on the sentence fragments, I'd be happy to up the rating on this deserving piece.*Bigsmile* I enjoyed the read!*Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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81
81
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1**Balloon1*


*Balloon2*Review for:
 The end of times by a fevered crone Open in new Window. (18+)
just some weird thoughts on the how of the end times could happen
#824936 by grandmapat Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
This piece works great as a monologue--but there are some places that inhibited the flow a bit, such as:
but many leave the how nebulously vague. I had to go back and read this line a few times before I realized what it was saying. I believe that line would be more clear if you were to put it in italics.


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
Beginning a sentence in a conjunction, such as And or But can be effective--especially in a monologue type piece....but technically it is grammatically incorrect.
*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
I notices no major problems...


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no problems...

*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
Cute piece!*Smile* I enjoyed the read *Smile*

God bless you and KEEP writing! *Bigsmile*jacky
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82
82
Review of Behind the scenes  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful piece skillfully written in the mind's eye of an eight-year-old girl.
*Balloon1**Balloon1*

I love how this piece is written--it reminds the reader of the "life and death" struggles of a child finding acceptance in her "society". You have a wonderful insight into a child's mind.

A couple of things jumped out at me:
A few times you use the word:
--alright--should be "all right"
--Several times you have mom, but it should be "Mom" when the word is substituted for a name.
--In the last line, you need a comma after: "after all"
--Although I feel the way you wrote the first lines is very effective in grabbing the reader's attention, technically it is grammatically incorrect--in that, technically the first lines and second paragraph should be together, but I wouldn't rush to change it unless this fact begins to effect ratings...*Wink**Bigsmile*
Your story is precious and enchanting! I adore it! Thank you for inviting me to your port.

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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83
83
Review of Peacenik Prose  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A poem about the author's thoughts on war--A MUST READ!
*Balloon1**Balloon1*

Excellent! I love the title of this piece. The description was also very effective in grabbing my attention. This is a well written poem--wonderful flow, and a pleasently interesting rhyming scheme. You did well writing on an emotionaly stirring subject...I have no suggestions for improvement--I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. Thanks for sharing....
God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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84
84
Rated: E | (5.0)
I appreciate your thoughts on public reviews. I hate doing them and avoid them unless something is just such an exceptional piece of work that I truly believe deserves more attention. But when I do only those good pieces (that get "5's"), I get criticized for not giving the authors critical advice. The pieces I usually put on there--don't need my advice *Laugh*...that's why they are on there.*Laugh*

I enjoyed your well written, informative article...thanks! Just for fun, this is going on public review! *Wink*
jacky*Cool*
85
85
Review of The Eyes Have It  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon2*Review for:
 The Eyes Have It Open in new Window. (E)
Dedicated to my friend Val who had emergency surgery last Monday on her eye.
#908530 by Ann Ticipation Author IconMail Icon



*Balloon3*1.Flow of Piece/Readability
There is a wonderful flow and rhythm in this piece....


*Balloon4*2.Grammar
Appropriate....


*Balloon5*3.Punctuation
Skillfully done.....


*Balloon6*4.Spelling
I saw no problems....


*Balloon4*5.Overall Impression
I love this piece. It is a skillfully written, enjoyable piece--it tells its story with wonderful imagery and the powerful ending makes it complete.

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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86
86
Review of Why I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful bio!
*Balloon1**Balloon3**Balloon1*


Your story is inspirational! I noticed no technical errors in this piece. I thoroughly enjoyed this peek into your life. I wish you well in your endeavors!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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87
87
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
This author does an excellent job in writing "bad" poetry!
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*

This folder is full of "Bad" poetry. Some are not so bad, some are really bad and some are down right hillarious!
God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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88
88
Review of Chuckles  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


I thoroughly enjoyed the adorable stories in this folder! I'm still smiling! *Bigsmile*

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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89
89
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A poetry folder...
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*

I'm a sucker for good poetry! I have enjoyed my visit to this folder of beautifully and skillfully written poetry. I will be back! Thanks for all the emotional responses your writing has allowed me to feel!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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90
90
Rated: E | N/A (Unratable.)
A Love Poem
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


Oh, this one brought a tear to my eye. It is beautifully written with perfect flow and wonderful rhyme. Thanks.

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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91
91
Rated: E | (5.0)
A Senryu Poem
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


This is a beautiful piece--you tell your tale with a gently soothing tone using wonderfully vivid imagery. I love it! Thanks!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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92
92
Review of And Yet I Digress  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love journals...yours--written as if you are speaking, is especially nice. I love to see the insight of others--your journal is full of simple honesty as well as some fun facts. I enjoyed my visit. Thanks.......

Keep up the good work and keep writing! *Smile*jacky
93
93
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful poem. It contains an important lesson of what nature could teach us, if we would only listen:

The world could learn ways to live in honour; and in trust;
for one day we will all surely die, become as the very dust

that joins with the golden sands on the shore of this beach.

Your poem has a wonderful flow and excellent rhyming scheme. I enjoyed the poem and appreciate it's truth. Thank you!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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94
94
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


A wonderfully written, touching piece about tolerance! Absolutely fabulous!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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95
95
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


This is a cute piece--well written and entertaining. My only suggestion would be to either indent your paragraphs or put spaces between the existing block style paragraphs--this would make the reading a little easier. Thanks for the entertaining piece!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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96
96
Rated: E | (5.0)
Description: Still picking up the pieces...a touching biographical piece....
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon4*

This is a beautifully written piece. It makes my heart sad. This is skillfully written. The emotion in this piece is so vivid.

Suggestions:
But then I'll dream about her- a night dream, a daydream. I remember everything.
Several places you use a line-
Shouldn't that be 2 lines?:dream about her--a night

That's the only thing that jumped out a me that I would change.....still it is a fabulous piece, either way. Thank you for this heart-felt biographical narration.

And thank you again for the help!

God bless you and KEEP writing! Good Night*Smile*
*Bigsmile*jacky

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97
97
Rated: E | (5.0)
A beautiful Christian poem.
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


A simple, but oh so very sweet poem. Your tribute to our Sword and Shield--our precious Savior is simply beautiful! *Smile* Thank you!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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98
98
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


This is a beautiful piece, full of feeling. You have excellent rhythm, giving it a fabulous flow, and you have wonderful rhyme. (the strict structure of this piece almost seems to go against the meaning of the poem...interesting, *Wink*)

I saw no spelling errors, and the punctuation is done skillfully. I enjoyed your poem...thanks *Smile*

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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99
99
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
A horror story in the Best of Three Poll
*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


An awesome story...I love the way you write! You are quite skillful in your craft..This was excellent...Good luck in the contest!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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100
100
Rated: E | (5.0)

A contest entry:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#885607 by Not Available.

*Balloon1**Balloon2**Balloon3**Balloon2**Balloon1*


Very good...the first chapter of Genesis in a poem--too cool. I love this! Good luck in the contest!

God bless you and KEEP writing!
*Bigsmile*jacky

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