Lou Ryan's late-night noir escapade through the streets of Chicago captures the essence of a classic detective story, complete with shadowy figures and a damsel in distress. The narrative has an authentic voice and atmospheric tension, conjuring a vivid picture of a world where danger lurks around every corner. The protagonist's first-person narration brings a personal touch, making the reader feel directly involved in the unfolding drama. The dialogue is snappy, enhancing the old-school crime thriller vibe. The moments of introspection and description blend well, offering both a compelling plot and a peek into Lou’s tough exterior to reveal a slightly softer interior.

While the story excels in building mood and character, I think the pacing might benefit from a slight adjustment to allow for deeper character development, particularly of Gloria. Understanding her backstory and motivations could add a richer layer to the narrative, making her more than just a plot device. Additionally, some transitions between the action sequences felt abrupt to me. Smoothing these out could heighten suspense and give the reader a better sense of place and time as the chase escalates. For me, the ending, while dramatic, comes off a bit rushed. Extending this final scene could provide a more satisfying closure to the high stakes that have been set up.

Overall, I think this is a gripping tale that does an excellent job of pulling the reader into its dark and moody world. Lou Ryan is a compelling character and a classic noir protagonist. The story's rich descriptions and engaging dialogue create a cinematic experience that's both entertaining and immersive. While there are areas where the narrative flow could be improved, the story remains a solid piece that offers all the thrills one would expect from a hard-boiled detective story. With a little more focus on character depth and pacing, I could see it truly shining as a standout homage to the genre.

I really enjoyed your take on this Writer's Cramp prompt. I particularly like the fact that you took the significance of the number twenty-three and showed all of the different ways that the number shows up or can be found in the composition or calculation of other numbers (two to the third power equalling eight, which is another number of mystical/spiritual significance, etc.). That was really clever and a great way to expand the poem beyond the prompt in a way that still pays homage to it. The point about the Mayan prophecy was also really well made; it feels like the reader will come away from this piece with a better understanding of the significant of the number twenty-three, in addition to having read a fun poem.

The only small suggestion I have is that you might want to consider spelling out the other numbers that aren't 23 (eight, two, third, five, etc.). I think it would make the number 23 stand out a little more visually in the poem. As it is, it gets a little lost in some stanzas with all the other numbers being mentioned.

Overall, I really enjoyed this item. I thought you did a great job working all of the symbolism and numerology into such a short item. Well done!

Always a pleasure to have the opportunity to visit your portfolio, Angelo! As always, I think you did a great job with this story. I'm always impressed with your ability to describe period pieces so vividly; no matter what the time period it always feels as if you're writing like you've had the personal experience of being there and can bring the reader along with you thanks to your nuanced descriptions. Your characters were also well-developed and the dialogue effectively helped to move the story forward.

I don't really have any suggestions, per se, but the one thing I did have a little bit of trouble with was following along with all the characters that were mentioned. In addition to the actual characters in the story there were also numerous character names referenced during the conversation, which created a bit of confusion about who was who as the story progressed.

Overall, despite the relatively minor note above, I really enjoyed this story. I think you did a great job with the characters, the dialogue, and the story, enough that you were able to keep the reader's (or at least this reader's!) attention throughout this short, compelling contest entry. Nice work!

The familiar, conversational style of this piece is excellent. It definitely feels like some local giving the reader directions and then, subsequently, a little backstory about Bubba's Corner BBQ. The pacing was excellent and it kept the reader's interest throughout with a unique and compelling narrative. I particularly like the excessively bizarre directions in the first half of the story; that was my favorite part of this short piece.

In the paragraphs where you're describing the hog's adventure, you use the phase "no one saw" a couple of times and it started to feel a bit redundant. I'm also not entirely sure about the explanation for why he's not on a corner. Is the idea that his original location burned down and then the business had to move (but still didn't change its name)? If so, I think that needs a little more clarification. If that's not what the story was trying to convey, then I missed it entirely!

Overall, this was a fun, lighthearted story to read and I thought you did a good job with the prompt. It reminded me of all the businesses that have unique names out there because there's a funny story behind it somewhere in their backstory. Nice job!

My favorite part of this story was the parallel with "Little Red Riding Hood" and a few other familiar fairytales/allegories. I thought you did a good job of depicting Sally and the Rabbit, and their interaction with the wolf.

It's a little unclear why Sally was still so difficult with the rabbit even after he saved her life. It's actually a little unclear whether Sally was even fazed by the wolf jumping out and threatening to eat her, because the rabbit told his lie before the reader even knows what her reaction is. But, assuming it's one of fear or anxiety, it's strange that she's still so focused on the rabbit's lying when the lie so clearly benefitted her in that scene.

Toward the end of the story, it felt like there was a lack of a resolution because there wasn't much conflict to begin with. I was hoping for a twist or a lesson learned or something, but the story resolved itself rather abruptly and without much conflict or friction.

Overall, this was an entertaining story with the familiarity of an old fairytale or children's myth, but the lack of conflict and the characters' single-minded focus on the lying made it feel like the story was missing a little something. Still, it's a great foundation to work from. Nice work!

I enjoyed your take on the prompt. I thought you were able to weave the prompt words into the narrative flawlessly, to the point where if they hadn't been bolded I don't think I would have even noticed. I also really like the detail and characterization in this story. From the car ride at the very beginning, it was a vivid, realistic scene you portrayed with enough description to make the reader feel like they're really present in the scene with the characters.

The only thing that didn't work as well for me was the Halloween scene before Jack had his first "chat". The "ghostly version of Davy Jones" costume was a little hard to imagine, and was a bit lacking in the same level of detail and description that you gave the rest of the story. For me, this is where the story needed that additional detail, when describing what exactly Jack was so intimidated by.

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this Writer's Cramp entry, and made the most of a prompt which I usually find really difficult for me personally... disassociated random words that you have to figure out how to string together. Nice work, although that's not really a surprise coming from you.

I love haiku as a poetic form, even more so when someone chains them together and includes more than one! I thought you did a great job with this haiku chain, each of them has really memorable, intense visuals which are the hallmark of the haiku form. I particularly liked your selection of adjectives, as they really helped create the vivid imagery of the poems in the simplest possible terms.

A couple of the lines felt a little incomplete to me. At the end of the first haiku, the line "soon the harvest moon" doesn't seem to have any connection to the rest of the haiku (which is focused on the imagery of leaves), or the haiku that follows it. For me, haiku are most effective when they follow the traditional structure of capturing a moment in time rather than being purely descriptive, and it was sometimes difficult to find the exact moment or feeling you were trying to capture in the stanzas, almost like you were looking for the poem as a whole to illustrate the point. Which is totally fine, but I think the piece could be even better if, with a form like haiku that thrives on vivid imagery, that imagery and focus was consistent both on a granular level (the individual haiku) as well as a macro level (the chain as a whole).

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this haiku chain about my favorite season of the year. Nice work!

I love this topic for a poem. Rain is something that I've already loved (probably because I live in Southern California where we don't get a lot of it! ), and there are few things I like better that wandering through a city when it's raining. You did a great job of capturing the essence of that feeling, and I particularly liked the personification you used in lines like "the rain imposed authority" and "the rain spread nail polish over the city" ... although I'm not sure I really understand that first metaphor, even though I did enjoy it.

I thought this was an interesting poetic form with a certain stanza repeated three times with slight variations. I do wonder if it would have been better to have had that repetition be around the rain rather than the traffic, since the rain seemed to be the focus of the piece.

I also didn't quite understand the "poetry's thrust / for some change / in focus" part of the second-to-last stanza. I had a hard time finding the connection of those lines to the rest of the poem.

Overall, I love the subject of this poem. It really captured the essence of the city in the middle of a rainstorm, which is one of my favorite experiences. Well done!

You did a really good job of giving the reader a clear sense of the personalities of the individuals in this story, and making the reader feel like thye were right there along for the ride with them. The activities in the car were amusing and I particularly liked the tongue-in-cheek wit of the opening paragraph, which I think set the scene really nicely for this short piece.

The only (small) criticism I have of this piece is that there didn't feel like there was a definitive beginning or end to this piece. It was more of a vignette or anecdote about a small moment in time, rather than a story, per se. I would have loved to have read a little more exposition and a little more conflict and resolution to fully flesh out this piece into a compelling narrative. The last sentence also seemed to cram in some additional details almost as an afterthought, and I would have loved to have those bits of the story expanded on as well.

Other than the relatively small critique outlined above, I thought this was an enjoyable and entertaining vignette with memorable characters and a good bit of humor woven in throughout. It was a fun read and I thought you did a good job with it. Nice work!

This was a fun and really entertaining story. As a fan of the old Coyote and Roadrunner Looney Tunes cartoon, I really appreciated all of the detail you put into this piece, including specific inventions that Wile E. Coyote used in the cartoon (and making the infamous rocket sled the centerpiece of the trial)! I thought the premise for the story was excellent and highly enjoyable. The ending was great too; if I were Home Depot, I'd also have thoughts about partnering with a litigious and questionable-competent customer!

This is a bit of a nitpick, but the legal procedure wasn't terribly accurate, specifically with the judge asking questions essentially after she determined the decision, and introducing questions as to motive at the end of the trial when that's typically something that would be handled by the defense counsel. It's doesn't have to be an exact reproduction of court process or anything, but given how many people watch legal/court shows now, a lot of them are amateur "legal experts" and might notice this deviation even from the creative license taken with the legal system as they've come to understand it through television series.

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this story. It was inventive, entertaining, and a really fun read for anyone familiar with the old cartoons. Well done!

I'm always impressed when people attempt challenges that add a degree of difficulty to their writing such as writing a story with no dialogue, or only dialogue, or other restrictions. I think you did a great job conveying interpersonal reactions even in the absence of dialogue, which is not easy to do. Nice work!

While the actual scene itself was well written, it felt a little like the detail and description was taking the place of actual narrative. The scene had more of a vignette feel without much of a beginning or end, and it feels like, if word count was an issue, some of those words could have been used to fine-tune the narrative a bit and give it more of a lead-in and lead-out to round things out a bit.

There were also a few passive phrases that seemed designed to get around the "no dialogue" element and felt a little clunky. For example, the sentence, "The subtle woosh of exhaled air from multiple mouths revealed the shock that went through the crowd" felt like a bit of an overwritten way to say that "the crowd gasped" and, to the larger point above, it feels like some of that word economy could have been allocated to the setup and payoff of the story.

Overall, I enjoyed the imagination of this piece and it was very effective at working with a difficult prompt restriction. I think there's a bit of room for improvement, but you've got a really strong foundation to work with in this piece. Nice job!

I really enjoyed this poem. "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac is a great song and I can definitely detect the influences while I was reading. When reading with that song in mind the cadence and style is familiar, and yet you also managed to create something completely unique that felt fresh rather than derivative. Really nice job!

Each of the stanzas were great on their own, but the order confused me a bit. The first one starts with the sentiment about "finding a guide" while the third stanza is about being "lost in the maze of my own mind." The second stanza opens with "[struggling] to resist". I wonder if a bit of restructuring would be more effective, with the stanzas in the order of 3-1-2-4 or even 3-2-1-4. The poem is already great as it is, the stanzas are individually excellent; they just read a little out of sequence to me in terms of a larger narrative.

Overall, I thought this was a well-written and elegant poem. The imagery was great, as was your word choice and the structure of the individual stanzas. It might be worth looking into reordering them, but that does change the fact that it was a great read, inspired by a song that I really enjoy and could see the influences of in the piece. Nice work!

This was a fun story with an amusing twist at the end. I like the fact that Sandra ended up being Ted's mother, and that she seemed as amused as anything by his attempts to sow chaos in the world. Nice work!

In the first paragraph, there's a bit of a contradiction between the sentence that say Sandra "hoped that if she ignored Ted long enough he would go away," and the sentence immediately after which said that Sandra "knew there was no way she could be that lucky." If Ted had "never been the type to go away" it doesn't make a lot of sense that her just hoping Ted would go away would be effective, if all evidence points to the contrary.

Ted's scheme was a bit confusing to me, in how it would be executed. Almost every place that offers employee discounts processes the discount as part of the transaction, so I'm not sure how Sandra would be able to "keep the leftovers" with a customer because the transition would be rung up at the employee's discounted rate. Maybe I'm just not thinking of the way this would work, but it would benefit the story to have a clearer sense of how the plot would work since it seems impossible to have a paying customer pay an amount different from what they're actually paying.

Overall, I thought this was a fun, amusing story featuring a couple of entertaining characters that kept my interest throughout. Nice work!

I really enjoyed the fact that the dreams referenced at the beginning of the story came back and turned out to be prophetic in the end; it was a great way to add a full-circle element and feeling of finality to the story. Structurally, to be able to do that in only a few hundred words is really impressive. Well done!

Toward the end of the story, the description was a little confusing. Suzanna leaves the house before sunrise (as usual), but then it becomes foggy in the dark. Suzanna turns on her high beams (a bad idea in dense fog, I can attest to!) and she drives until the fog abates, but then the sky is "unusually black" while the temperature is also "growing warm" to the point where sweat was dripping down her face. Later, the heat intensifies alongside the darkness, which makes in unclear what's supposed to be happening with the environment. Is it a supernatural darkness or a supernatural heat? Or both?

Overall, despite the somewhat confusing description toward the end of the story before the twist at the end is revealed, I thought this was an entertaining tale that kept the reader's interest throughout and really delivered on its premise. Nice job!

This is a solid breakdown of how to do a short author bio. I like the fact that you broke it down into smaller components and then went on to explain each of them, and then provided examples of what that looks like with professional, published authors. The piece was well organized, and articulate. Nice work!

I would have loved to have seen a little more information on adapting the short bio for other uses. You mention at the beginning of the article that writers usually have multiple bios for a variety of purposes, but the article only focuses on the short bio. I think there's an opportunity to really get into the "big picture" issue of constructing a bio for all occasions, which could be as simple as adapting this structure to encourage the audience to create a longer bio, and then pare it down for a variety of lengths (i.e., writing a full bio of, say, 500 words, then strategically figuring out what to remove to make it fit 250 words, 125 words, 50 words, 240 characters, etc.).

Overall, I thought this was an informative, useful article with great tips for how to construct a bio of a very specific length. With a bit of revision, I thought it would be a really excellent piece that addresses writing bios of all lengths. But you're definitely off to a fantastic start!

I thought you did a good job offering a balanced and detailed analysis for the benefits and drawbacks of online paid surveys, both from the perspective of who's taking them and who's interesting in having them conducted. I thought your item as well-reasoned and made a good argument.

I noticed that some of your WritingML formatting isn't working quite as intended. It appears that you have a space between the colon and the font name, which is causing the issue. If you delete that space, it should work. Also, you don't have to use a new WritingML tag after each paragraph; using it once at the top of the item (with a corresponding closing tag at the end) should suffice, unless you're planning on doing some different formatting in between.

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this item. It's clearly presented and you do a great job of balancing multiple perspectives and providing what appears to be an objective and unbiased perspective. For your first brief writing (as pointed out in your item intro), I think you did a great job and, pending the fixing of the formatting issues, I think you have a strong piece of writing on your hands. Nice work!

All of the dragons in these cNotes are adorable! I'm really impressed with all of the dragon-themed stuff that you're doing for the Year of the Dragon. Between this shop, "WDC Dragon Vale "  and so many of the other things you're working on, it's clear you put a lot of thought and effort into this year of the Chinese Zodiac, and I appreciate the professionalism of the images and the design you've put into everything. My personal favorite images in this shop are 1, 4, 5, and 7.

The only small issue I have with this otherwise great cNote shop is that the prices are all pretty steep for a cNote. Many shops offer options for 1/10th of the price and, while I know that it's the shop owner's prerogative to charge whatever price they feel is appropriate (and while your images are excellent), I can't help but feel like it might be more appealing to have one or two lower-priced images for those who are as passionate about dragons as you are, but might not have the funds to pay such a premium on the cost of cNotes, or to make them available to send to more members of the community.

Other than the small note about pricing, I think you did an amazing job with this cNote shop; it's one of my favorites that I've seen so far, and I look forward to visiting again soon!

This was a fun, entertaining, romantic story. You did a great job of developing both Angie's and Andrew's characters and showing the mutual interest evolving beyond the initial physical attraction. I also like the fact that they both had interesting careers and what felt like fully-developed individual lives.

Not a huge deal, but there were a couple of points where, after "Adonis" was introduced as Andrew/Drew, he was still referred to as Adonis, which made for a bit of a confusing read at certain points.

Also, the break in the middle between the two encounters felt a little rough, as if it just jumped from one scene to the other. It would have benefitted the story to have a bit of a smoother transition with one scene leading into the other.

While I understand their significance to the story, the title "Cheese Puffs" felt a little, well, cheesy. This is actually a really compelling, well-written romance story and the title felt a little sillier than the tone of the piece. I can't help but think there's a more fitting title for such an enjoyable, elegant story.

Overall, I thought this was a fun, engaging story. It kept my interest throughout and I could definitely see the possibilities for a larger world and/or more involved narrative as I read. These are two characters that I'm definitely interested in getting to know better. Well done!

The tone and voice of this piece are great. You give the reader a clear sense of the emotions you're feeling and it keeps the reader interested throughout. Tht writing style also definitely places into the "nonsense" genre; there's an ambiguity and confusion to the events being depicted that's the hallmark of "nonsensical" types of writing.

Even though "nonsense" writing is supposed to be a little confusing and quirky, there were some elements of this item (such as the title "six word memoirs" and the reference in the first paragraph to "thinking about six" which I think need just a little more explanation in order for the reader to make the connections they need in order to really identify with this piece.

Additionally the "I am just bored right now" line doesn't seem to match with the others in the work. Boredom is usually viewed as a negative mindset and one that contrasts with the rest of the piece which almost seems to embrace the sleepiness and the lethargy of what's going on. It was a little difficult to tell whether the boredom was a good or bad thing (to your narrator) and some clarity there would help the piece immensely.

Overall, I thought you did a good job with this piece. It's interesting and quirky and keeps the reader intrigued all the way through the end, but in order to make it truly a standout piece of writing, I think a little tiny bit more context is needed so that the "nonsense" still has a common thread or throughline. But I think you're off to a great start!

The worldbuilding you've started creating here is really interesting. I love a good urban fantasy setting, and introducing not just werewolves but other mythological creatures like leprechauns is a great way to hint at a much larger world of endless possibilities. Nice work!

There were a few things in this chapter of the story that were a little confusing or unclear. How can people like Kyle identify werewolves? Is this something that's common knowledge in this world? If so, it might be a good idea to explain that a little more clearly so that the audience understands that parts of the story that say things like "The bouncer, a burly werewolf with dark sunglasses" aren't as strange as they sound to the reader.

Similarly, Kyle seems to take all of this in stride as if nothing surprises him, including that his roommate is a werewolf who changes before his eyes. Again, is this something that's common knowledge or is it unexpected? Because Kyle seems to take all of it in stride (even meeting a leprechaun), so at this point in the story it really needs to be clear how the supernatural element plays into the story, who's aware of it, and making sure their reactions are realistic and consistent.

Overall, I think you did a good job with the basic worldbuilding of this story and there's a ton of potential here. There are some execution-dependent things that need to be worked out, but I think you're off to a great start.

The ending sentiment of your piece was lovely. Fear really can give us a unique appreciation for the lives we live, and I think you did a good job of conveying that with just a few short words at the end of the work.

I wish that sentiment at the end would have been played out, foreshadowed, etc. a little earlier in the piece, or that the piece would have been longer to accommodate more time and focus on that element of it. As it is, it feels like the work is more focused on playing up the fear than it is focusing on what that feeling of fear does or results in. I think that's the strongest argument in the piece, and it's less important than the specifics of why the fear is there in the first place.

That said, there are definitely some parts of the material that could use some additional explanation as well. How do you assess "levels of experience, confidence, and normalcy" in the pilot with just a glance? What does "mentally flying the aircraft" mean? How can you identify fellow passengers who might be terrorists, mischief makers, or as terrified of flying as you? It doesn't necessarily have to be rational since it's the perspective of one person (the narrator), but I think it would help the reader understand how the narrator identifies these qualities.

Overall, this was a well-written item that did a great job detailing the reasons someone might be afraid of flying, but could use a little more work fully drawing out it's central premise that the fear being described can actually be a good thing.