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3,850 Total Reviews Given
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826
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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good one, Harry ...as usual. I love the stories you weave with poetry.

Many of us have pictures like this one. You helped bring those memories to the forefront.

I absolutely love your use of "great- and greater-grandsons unknown." And that touch of humor at the end is priceless.

Thanks for sharing. And congrats on the books.

Blessings,
Kenzie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed.
827
827
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good one, Harry ...as usual. I love the stories you weave with poetry. *Smile*

Many of us have pictures like this one. You helped bring those memories to the forefront.

I absolutely love your use of "great- and greater-grandsons unknown." And that touch of humor at the end is priceless.

Thanks for sharing. And congrats on the books.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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828
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have some excellent thought snippets. Some - like this one - should be sown into larger works of prose or poetry. Don't you think?

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

"There are a thousand thoughts lying within a man that he does not know till he takes up a pen to write." -William Makepeace Thackeray

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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent quote and full of wisdom and truth. *Bigsmile* I think that's what we like about quotes. Someone says something wise that could have been thought or said by most of us if we'd just pondered and used common sense.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

830
830
Review by Kenzie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Whew, this survey about romance movies was even harder than the first. I can't wait to see what comes of this one! *Smile*

Remembering movies has always been something I've had a problem with, sometimes even as I drive home from seeing one. I've always wondered why that was...

You've made me search my memory...

Thanks!

Blessings,
Kenzie
831
831
Review of Writing for Free  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Some thoughts to ponder here. Whether or not a writer should accept publication without pay is a topic that comes up at most writer's sites time and again. Your one example of using a non-paying publication to further one's career actually makes sense. In that case, though, there is "pay" involved - the value of being published and recognized.

Some suggestions:


Published Australian author, Cheryl Wright and I share membership in several groups together,

The word "together" is unnecessary here, since you've already said that you and Ms. Wright share membership in the same groups.

Don’t publish with the very first person that accepts your work just because you want to see your name in print.

Don't publish with the very first person who accepts your work...



Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
832
832
Review of Mother  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a wonderful tribute to a mom.

I am curious, though. Since it has rhymes within the lines, wouldn't it look better on the page if it were displayed as a poem? Just a thought.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

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Review of Another Mother  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great tribute to someone who helped shape you into the person you became. By all means, let her know!


Some suggestions:

1) You have a number of sentences that are really two thoughts separated only by a comma. Those should be changed to two sentences, or separated by semi-colons.

2) She is small in stature, but what she lacks in height she more than made up for with the size of her heart. Since the rest of this is written in past tense, I'd change this sentece to, "She was small..., but what she lacked..."

3) Her son and I broke up, her and her husband Bill moved up north. ...she and her husband...

4) Whenever my teen goes to see her and the rest of the family every so often I always send him of with” Say Hi to Grandma Ivy for me”
Better might be..."Whenever my son visits Ivy and her family, I send him off with these words, "Say hi to Grandma Ivy for me."

5) As another Mother’s Day approaches I think of the 2 mothers in my life. It's better to spell out "two."

6) There’s my birth mother, with whom I have a love/hate relationship and my mother-in-law whom I never want to see or spend time with.
I'd word this differently so it didn't end in a preposition.

Thanks for sharing. And I do think you should tell Ivy how special she was for you. Perhaps you should send a copy of this to her.

Blessings,
Kenzie
834
834
Review of Coming Back  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, this is good. Quite creative...to tell this tale from the dog's perspective. I guess I never thought about what happens to an old dog when his owner passes away, especially if the owner hasn't made prior arrangements.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
835
835
Review of Second Chance  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful love story. The only change I might make would be to make flashbacks a bit more obvious - by more separation or something to make them stand out.

This one made me both laugh and cry. I do like happy endings. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
836
836
Review of Violent Wit  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Wow. This is excellent word crafting. I can almost hear the "wit" and see the reaction. Amazing.

I love everything about this one - even it's display on the page.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

"When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing." -Enrique Jardiel Poncela
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837
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This one brought tears to my eyes. I love that song. And I have a son of my own who is 21. So I can relate. *Smile*

Another reviewer suggested some things that made sense. It also makes no sense for me to repeat them. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing. And for making me laugh and cry and remember.

Blessings,
Kenzie
838
838
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good job. You have quite a sense of humor. *Smile* I wish more folks could laugh about morning commutes. Maybe they need your solutions - new spouse, music and Prozac. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing...and write on!

Blessings,
Kenzie
839
839
Review of Water Drops  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
Interesting word choice - transports me to sleep. *Smile*

Good luck with the contest. It looks like you've jumped in here with both feet. Welcome to Writing.com.

Blessings,
Kenzie

"Any healthy man can go without food for two days -- but not without poetry." -Charles Baudelaire

840
840
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
You've stated one case pretty well here. *Smile* Your own. You sound much like my son. Fortunately for him he was home schooled and could progress at his own pace. The first two years that we home schooled (4th and 5th grades - before that he was in private schools), he completed three years of lessons and would have completed four years if I had let him. Instead, we limited our mornings to learning like the school district wanted (they still had strings attached) and he studied independently and whatever he wanted in the afternoons. What an education he got that way!

But, as I said, your writing is about you, not really about all students. What we - society, teachers, administrators, whoever - have forgotten is that each student learns in a special way. Sure, we can group learning styles into a few categories, but even so students often cross those lines. Not all students learn best any one way, and the problem with schools today is that we're trying to make cookie-cutter students. It just doesn't and can't work. It's no wonder that 87% of all high school students in Texas have to take remedial math when they enter college. They didn't learn!

Anyway...

Some suggestions:

By forcing him, he learn learns

And...

You've used capital letters where capitals aren't required. In some instances, I think you did that on purpose. Still, it looks "wrong." *Smile*

Thanks for sharing. Sigh...if only we could teach all students to just love learning...

Blessings,
Kenzie

P.S. What did your teacher think about your accessment of most teachers???
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Review of Memories  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is certainly something written with emotion and honesty. Hopefully, sharing your pains and ability to overcome them will offer encouragement to others.

At the beginning, you might add a sentence after this one:
The purpose of this story is to encourage and enlighten not to bore.
I have learned that adversity builds strength. Or some such…

Here I would take out the word “now.”
The home that I grew to love had now become a place where evil resided. My home was now filled with hatred, accusations, and a dysfunctional upbringing.
The home that I loved became a place where evil resided. My home was filled with hatred and accusations; it was a dysfunctional home.

Instead of ending with a preposition:
As we sat there the three of us, watching the moon shine brightly mother came up with a plan that Chris and I wanted no part of.
As we sat there watching the moon shine brightly, mother devised a plan that Chris and I rejected.

Mother than sprang to her feet… then

One Christmas after the move, our parents did not buy my sister and I anything. This should be “my sister and me”. If you remove “my sister” from the sentence, you’ll find that “our parents did not buy me anything” is correct.

By the age of thirteen, I was stealing, running away from home, and school was certainly not a priority.
By the age of thirteen, I was stealing, running away from home, and skipping school.

In conclusion, life is what you make of it.
Might be better as: Even through all this turmoil, I learned that life is what you make of it.

As for me, I have chosen to stay positive and motivated; knowing that every hurdle that I overcome is just another step closer to victory.
As for me, I have chosen to stay positive and motivated, knowing that every hurdle that I have overcome brings me another step closer to victory.

Thanks for sharing...and write on!

Blessings,
Kenzie
842
842
Review of Differences  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.0)
Welcome to Writing.com daisy . We're glad you're here.

This was a little different than what I expected from the title and description. After I finished reading, I wondered where the hate came into the description and had to back and read again.

The verse mentioning hate confused me a bit and I wondered if that last line wasn't a bit of forced rhyme.

The differences
that hate us
polish up and gleam.

Also:
are never what they seems.
Should be: are never what they seem.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

843
843
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
A great list of "plug" pages. Thanks for compiling this one.

There is an invalid item listed. *Smile*

Blessings,
Kenzie

"Maturity begins to grow when you can sense your concern for others outweighing your concern for yourself." -John MacNaughton
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844
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a wonderful collection you have here - of signature shops, places to learn, places to plug your writing, etc. How kind of you to take the time to list and share these. It's a great resource. (But there is one invalid item listed. *Smile*)

Blessings,
Kenzie

"Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead." -Gene Fowler

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Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This really is wonderful. I love your word crafting, your rhymes and rhythm. I'm with you, too. I can't wait for spring and summer to really get here. Snow is pretty at Christmastime, but not in April!

For one still so young, you have such a way with words. I'll be so proud a few years from now when you're famous to be able to say I knew you when...

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
846
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Review of I Am  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.5)
I like this. It is just how we should all see and hear God. I like how you repeated withing the first verses, then switched a bit.

That one line stands out as a bit long - just a syllable or two, but it affects the "beat." Also, the last lines are a whole different rhythm. That's okay if it's what you intended, though. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
847
847
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (4.0)
This poem has some interesting word choices. Good job.

Some suggestions:

I can feel it ever time my pulse leaps
Did you mean "every time"?

I long no more for your putrid perspiration
Did you mean "mourn for..."?

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
848
848
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is an excellent response to questions many have about the Bible. There certainly is a difference between God dictating a book or inspiring one. That being said, I still do think the Bible can be our life manual in all matters, even today, and even in dealing with the scientific, medical and moral issues of the day.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie

849
849
Review of Child of Joy  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a delightful poem about what be a delightful little girl...or little lady. *Bigsmile*

As I read, I could picture those sparkling eyes of wonder and I bemoaned the fact that somewhere along the line, we lose that wonder.

Thanks for sharing.

Blessings,
Kenzie
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850
Review of MULLIGAN  
Review by Kenzie
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Excellent story. *Smile* The ending was a real surprise to me, but it was a good one. I'm not surprised that this one has a ribbon attached to it.

I did notice that you sometimes use commas excessively. *Smile* You also have some long sentences, some of which need to either be separated into shorter sentences or have semi-colons placed within them.

Here's an example:

The traffic, on the street was almost nonexistent, only the hardiest or the most desperate commuter was willing to brave the near artic weather.

Either...
The traffic on the street was almost nonexistent. Only the hardiest or the most desperate commuter was willing to brave the near arctic weather.

Or...
The traffic on the street was almost nonexistent; only the hardiest or the most desperate commuter was willing to brave the near arctic weather.

Notice that you misspelled "arctic."


Here's another long sentence with a few errors too.

There was turkey and dressing, fresh green beans, a large bowl of boiled potatoes, Yams, giblet gravy in a large tureen, mounds of baked rolls, there was other steaming bowls filled with different vegetables and there was platters of cookies and sweet cakes, many of which Jones could not even begin to identify.

There was turkey and dressing, fresh green beans, a large bowl of boiled potatoes, yams, giblet gravy in a large tureen, and mounds of baked rolls. There were other steaming bowls filled with different vegetables and there were platters of cookies and sweet cakes, many of which Jones could not even begin to identify.

Also...

“Your right, it was kind of callous of me.

Should be...
"You're right..."



Thanks for sharing. Write on!

Blessings,
Kenzie
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