Good one. I'm glad this one was mentioned in the comedy newsletter this week. Otherwise, I'm certain I would have never stumbled upon it. You've mastered the "voice" of the doll rather well, I think. Sadly, I'm betting some of these things happen to those dolls. And if so, is there really any learning going on about what having a baby around is all about?
Good forum. It's always interesting to find out why folks write, and you've given them the space too do so.
Your explanation at the beginning of the forum rang some bells for me. I've had that same experience...telling someone here his/her work was marketable. And having them be surprised.
What a simple, yet challenging contest - to describe one of the pictures shown without using the obvious words you've included with each one. This contest will stretch one's abilities. And the rewards will be worth the challenge.
I love this one. Being a mom does sometimes seem like an endless job, full of mundane tasks. I think kids know just when we've reached the end of the rope...'cause that's when they look so cute and say, "I love you."
What a story. It's easy to imagine this happening some time in the future. After all, lots of "extra" classes have been taken from schools already.
Some suggestions:
Many of your dialogue/quotation sentences are punctuated incorrectly.
Here are some:
Sit down, sit down and I’ll show you” Vincent said.
Sit down, sit down and I’ll show you” Vincent said.
Music and art, they belong in the museum with the dinosaurs and the cavemen.” Dean said.
Just today I read something here that will help you with this:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #752241 by Not Available.
Wow. You've touched my heart again, and that always deserves a 5 rating.
Wait just a minute while I wipe the tears away so I can continue typing...
Okay...
As we've "discussed" before, some of your sentences are long. But that is certainly understandable, as the words and memories probably just tumbled onto the page as you typed.
Also, I would probably change this sentence so it didn't end in "at." I know that's acceptable today to some, but...
The last thing that she told me was that she and Dennis were about to go out – unwillingly – to the mandatory holiday party given by the owners of the medical clinic she worked at.
You and your family have been through a lot...
Blessings,
Kenzie
I'm glad that there were kind people nearby to offer help.
Good for you. You've stated your case well. Hopefully, you haven't had many "hate rates."
Your concluding statements are quite good:
When we are presented with the facts, it is clear that abortion is nothing short of an irresponsible form of birth control. We may not be able to stop this inhumane practice, but at least we can stand up for the rights of those that cannot speak. And at the very least, hate it in our hearts.
Abortion centers and Planned Parenting groups are not honest about the way or how rapidly babies develop in the womb. Nor do they ever address what happens to women who do opt for abortion. Counseling those women is left to the pro-life centers, non-profits and religious organizations. And still the majority of us remain silent.
This is great. I love the idea of Writing.com being a city...without crime or pollution or traffic gridlock. You're quite right. We're also a family, I think.
I also like your idea that there is a free lunch but not a free dinner. Well put.
Wow. This reminds me of the year I spent with my parents. Now my sister is dealing with it and says that every day is like the movie Groundhog Day. I tried to tell her and my other sister that.
You have a few long sentences here, but you also have lots to say. (And probably not enough time for yourself.)
Thanks for sharing. More and more folks are experiencing this...
Wow. I definitely felt something with this one. I love the thought of hearing{/} lavender. Funny. Even as I read your words, my mind thought it actually smelled lavender. Well done.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Hi, Sammy. Welcome to Writing.com. We're glad you're here. I saw in another of your writings that you want to pack up and move on because some here haven't been very kind. Please accept my apologies for those who have unkindly rated and reviewed your work.
You already know that you need to work on your spelling and grammar. I'm not going to criticize you for that. I am going to celebrate with you that you joined our group and that you want to improve.
Meanwhile, I'm rating you on the heart you put in and the strength it took just to join us and start sharing.
Lots of folks can learn to write properly, but that doesn't make them good writers. Remember that.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Hold onto dreams
For if dreams die
Life is like a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
Langston Hughes
Kenzie Says: "I don’t think any true writer ever writes anything bad, not if we allow the heart and soul to be the writer of our words."
Once again, you've gathered some wonderful comments from others to create this piece. And the links you've provided will be most helpful to all. This one would be perfect for saving in one's favorite file as a reference point.
I read this one, then kept it open while I pondered. The poem is good, and the message is still one we need to hear. We are all created equally.
Still...I think the teacher's response might have been one to point out that assuming that all "good little white boys" wouldn't know this is prejudicial as well. Some would and do, and act accordingly.
My own son has never seen any difference in people, until they show him they aren't worthy of his friendship - via their attitudes, closed minds, bad habits, whatever. When he was just a kindergarten student, I realized that he didn't see color or size or gender in his friends. They were just his friends. And I was proud of him when that same attitude continued in his teen life, even when it meant being teased for his wide variety in his choice of friends.
Sorry to ramble. As I said, the poem was good and the message is probably more important today than it was in the 60's.
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And you've written it so colorfully 
, using WritingML.
