What a wonderful story. I found this on the public reviews page.
Like that reviewer, I agree that the lesson for children (and us too!) would be that we should be thankful for the gifts that we DO have and for the special jobs that we each have in our families and in the world.
Here you are missing a word.
"Look at them, they seem so happy, and I want feel very special."
Awww. I found this on the public reviews page. Like that reviewer, this made feel all warm and fuzzy. First, I love dog people. Secondly, I love that you make coffee for your life partner. I wish that I could have trained my hubby to do that, but he's not a coffee drinker. Or tea either, for that matter. I wouldn't have minded a cup of tea either. Oh well. He has other strengths.
It's been a few years since our doggy died. That was a bad year for us. We had 2 elderly cats and one elderly dog, and they all died within a year. I do miss having at least one of them cuddled up with me.
Thanks for sharing. One more story like this and I will probably be ready to go to the shelter to find another doggy.
As a new writer, it is suggested that you follow the rules for spelling, grammar and punctuation. After you are rich and famous, you can forget the rules.
That being said, I would sat "want to" rather than "wanna". And I would change "if your with somebody" to "if you're with somenody".
You are absolutely right that love is amazing. My favorite definition of love is in the Bible. After having a few abusive relationships, I learned to gauge my relationships around these words:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
America used to be a melting pot. Everyone who came here wanted to BE an American. They learned how to speak English. They learned about our country and they couldn't wait to be citizens. (They came through Ellis island and had to have a sc sponsor and a job lined up. If they were sick, they were kept there until they were well. And they could be sent back if they didn't qualify to enter the country.)
Today, we're more like a quilt with pieces that absolutely do not match. People don't bother to try to speak English and they have no desire to be citizens.
It's way past time for us to insist that people come here legally. The people who are doing that have to wait years sometimes because too many people have cut in line in front of them.
I admire people who can write flash fiction, those who can share a tale in few words. I have always been verbose myself, thus the administration for those who can be succinct.
People always talk about the rainbow bridge, especially people who are or work for veterinarians. But I have never had one of them speculate about other animals welcoming them. As you wrote it, it makes sense.
I love writing with a pen, but even though I have been writing for over 65 years, I have never thought about my pen being my best friend. I feel horrible about that. My favorite pens have either purple or green ink.
Thanks for making me ponder. I wouldn't change a thing.
You explained the relationship between the crocodile and the plover quite well in your fictional story. It's rather amazing that the croc knows that he needs those bits between his teeth removed. If they aren't, infection easily happens. To me, it's even more amazing that the bird is bold enough to brave sitting in the mouth of the croc to pick his teeth. Wow.
Thanks for sharing. Because of you, I learned something today.
I love reading stories written for contests here where the word count is supposed to be low. I have been far top verbose my entire life and truly admire people who can tell a complete story in 405 words, complete with dialogue. Way to go!
You also managed to tell the entire story in present tense. I usually find people who begin writing in the present tense often switch to past tense without even realizing it.
My brother was younger than me by 4 years...but just as aggravating as this guy.
Excellent word choices. I was visiting the "recent reviews" page and discovered your work of heart.
I do believe that people today are so blessed with being able to take as many photos as they choose. I would, though, like to see more of those photos on the walls of the homes of my friends and family.
Yes, I'm an old fart. And I bemoan the fact that my elementary school and my junior high were torn down, and my high school was turned into senior citizen apartments. And I have zero photos of any of those schools. I usually tell kids who I know to try to take some photos of their schools. A few less pictures of their dinners wouldn't hurt.
I so admire people like yourself who can tell a complete story in so few words. That has never been my strength, thus my admiration for people who can achieve it.
In 300 words, you told the story perfectly with the twist at the end. Well done.
What a lovely story. It's interesting that many people actually did have to change what they had been doing for Christmas because of covid. It's even more interesting that many have continued their new traditions.
I did wonder about this sentence:
"This was a six hour drive through Georgia to Jacksonville to Florida."
Isn't Jacksonville in Florida? Perhaps you meant: This was a six hour drive through Georgia to Jacksonville, Florida.
You wrote about how some people handle death quite well.
My hubby and I met here on WDC, and have now been married 19 years, but he still mourns his first wife. He's been writing a book about their relationship since she died in 1980. I doubt that he will ever finish it or have it published. It's his way of coping. And, no, I'm not jealous or hurt. He and I have a great relationship too.
I love this! Sometimes it's just fun to write something cutesy or silly or fun. I love the word rememories. As I looked it up, it appears that Toni Morrison used it one way, but others have used it in various ways, including being like a "thought haunting". Such a cool word.
Like that reviewer, the title intrigued me. My hubby and I met right here on WDC, so I understand distance romance. When we first met, I was in TX and he was in OH.
You told the story well. The poem flows well and the rhymes make sense.
I did wonder about the part of your title in parentheses. Lost love?
You have explained yourself well. I have personally never understood most sports fans, but especially baseball.
Oh, I lived in Pittsburgh, and I did get excited when every one of our sports teams did a great job and we were termed the City of Champions. That was fun. But I never attended a baseball game.
I also lived in FL, so as a family we did go to exhibition games when the teams were there for spring training. My son and husband loved watching the games. I loved the sense of community amongst the regulars in the stands.
I used to be like that about racing cars. That was my sport.
Anyway, I did enjoy reading about why you are a baseball fan. I wouldn't change a thing.
Such excellent advice written in poetic form with specific direction for a contest. Impressive.
As I read your poem aloud, I absolutely loved how it flowed effortlessly. Again, impressive.
It also appears that you followed the prompts. Well done.
If only everyone would read multiple stories and poem about how to be happier, and if only some of them would sink in. It saddens me to see so many people walking around with scowls on their faces and being so obviously unhappy. That is not what our Creator intended.
That had to be difficult to write. Nay I offer these suggestions:
1. Always read your writings aloud, but especially poetry. Doing so will let you find the places that you need to tweak, either because the length if lines hasn't worked or a word or 2 needs chabged.
2. Never force a rhyme. It's much better to use a soft rhyme than to use a perfect rhyme that doesn't work well.
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