This made me cry. It is well written easy to understand and perhaps you should continue with the conversation version. When the conversation is complete then maybe you can take out the meat and potatoes parts. Just an idea.
Thank you for writing.
I liked this alot. Glad to know god is talking to you. It is better than reading about people's mental issues and how thoese issues are telling them to kill someone.
May I ask a question with out you taking it personal? May I make a comment from my sheltered view without you getting upset? If so here goes if not please disregaurd my words. You care perhaps because you were supposed to. Your heart hurts perhaps because right now at this very moment he is crying. Maybe just maybe your worlds are so different that the only thing you have in common is the deepth of love. Perhaps you tried to do everything to erase that? Perhaps he tried to just let go and walk away? What ever it is just remember there are things greater than the suffering of this world. I hope that when it is time she will be in heaven with me and when we get there we will remember eachother. For me we came from another life time together.
I went to a person that reads once and she said we were together in at least three different recent lifetimes and each time we were saving eachother. Perhaps that is how we got caught up in this life. But you didn't ask about me you asked about you. I can only speak from my limited experiences. I hope it helps.
I was this girl once. When we were each other I took lipstick and wrote I love you and I will not give up. When I got made and tired of looking at the stupid lipstick it would not come off the mirror. Forcing me to love on me some more. When I really couldn't stand myself I would go see the nurturing people in my life and let them love on me. If you have someone like that a friend who's shoulder you can cry on no questions asked go see them. If not, go pick you some roses take a bath in the petals, spread petals on your bed and on your floor. Drink some tea and watch a funny movie turn the volume up so loud that if you start crying loud no one can hear you. But do not stay down, the longer you do the harder it is to get up! It has been almost three years since we last saw each other but the girl in the mirror still lurks sometime. So the girl on the other side had to find inspiration so that she would not become more of what she didn't want. When we feel down it is easy for everything around us to appear to be ugly. Crack your doors and windows in the day time and keep fresh flowers in at least three rooms to remind you of the beauty in life. Go out and plant something or do an art project, or volunteer with the homeless to see how bad it could be. Just don't give up. All the anger and disappointment inside write it down and burn it and declare today new! And for heaven sakes stop looking in the mirror until you are ready. Meaning don't look until you are having a good day, that way you are not beating your self up even more. I hope this inspires you.
I agree with your girl falling out of love is very hard it will either mature you or break your entire understanding of what you thought you knew about love. As for keeping your heart open a little advice from my experience. It is hard because most people keep their heart closed and claim they want love. What they really want are the motions of love. As I understand it because the real love most ask for really does require a open heart and most can not stay there to long. Sooner or later unresolved emotions come up and if they are not ready to confront the issues or have a crisis plan of action for these emotions, they end up shutting down. Closing there heart and going back to what is familiar. Even if what is familiar is self sabotaging. The fact that you said if not for others then for myself. Girl you are about to embark on the love movement! It is a roller coaster with highs and lows stay with it though cause a whole new you will emerge! In my humble opinion.
If I may say. There is strength in venerability. That is when we move out of our way and let a higher force work. Life is school and sometimes we may all want to quit. I encourage you to keep going. Let the mask break. Hell take some plates to the river write on them what you want to get rid of and slam them to the ground allowing them to break like your mask. The next time you look in the mirror tell yourself your mask is breaking so you can have a breakthrough. Get some Joyce Meyer cd's or what ever inspires you and over ride your negative self talk until positive self talk and loving self affirmations become the norm. Forgive me if you do not believe in god, if you do then let him mold you and realize it is a lot less work than doing it all on your own. When you wake up daily ask yourself three things before you get out of bed and before the negative self talk sets in. Ask your self 1. what do I need today?
2. What can I give today? 3. How can I love myself right where I am today? I hope this inspires you from deep inside the looking glass!
Another theory might be that the stability of thee equaliberum would be to balance out the veortex. This can be achived by other refined micro vortesex or a netural zone for the vortex to gain voliceity.
This is how I felt when my mother took my father away from me, before he died. Then she pushed me away from her expressing her displeasure with me and her hate for my existence. he told me I would not make a good mother and didn't deserve children. In my desire to want love so bad and not understand how to love myself, I passed this curse on to my eldest. Thank you for writing this it was a very emotional read.
WOw someone sure is lucky. If this is truly how you feel and truly all you have, then you are truly given them the world. This world as I see it written here is the world before anything else matters.Beautiful. From here comes everything else that you two build!
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