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51
51
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
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#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello ~Minja~

This is a delightful little poem, expressed in simple language. Easy on the eye and a joy to read. I think many readers will relate to the subject matter. I know I can, having suffered from insomnia in the past.

You use rhyme to good effect and the poem flows well.

Write on!

Best wishes,
Mark


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52
52
Review of The Shoes  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello LiveToWrite

This is an incredibly powerful, heartfelt and moving poem about the holocaust. It's timely as it was the 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz earlier this week. Your poem contains a lot of information but never seems preachy. It's a very difficult subject to do justice to but you do a fantastic job here and the poem is very well written.

Congratulations for having this featured in this week's poetry newsletter.

Best wishes,
Mark


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53
53
Review of Goodbye Tyson  
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello catness

This is a very sweet, tender poem in memory of a beloved dog. You honour Tyson with your words, and I'm sure many readers will relate to the sentiments you express. The reader can feel the emotion behind the words but the poem is never overly sentimental. Your use of short lines helps the poem flow well.

This is a very good poem, especially considering what you must have been feeling as you wrote it.

Hope you're enjoying your time here at WDC.

Keep writing!
Best wishes,
Mark


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54
54
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello J. Lee

This is a delightfully original poem which put a smile on my face. You've put a lot of thought into this and I love the wordplay throughout the poem. I especially enjoyed the line in your first stanza about the ear in the middle of heard.

Truly listening to others is so important and this poem does a good job of highlighting that point amidst the fun.

The only thing I wasn't quite sure of was if in your second stanza you meant 'two finish tears' to be the number two or if that was a typo and you meant 'to'. Either way, it doesn't diminish the impact of the poem. I think such a creative, thoughtful piece is well deserving of five stars.

Congratulations on having it featured in the poetry newsletter.

Best wishes,
Mark


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55
55
Review of Monster Wave  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Shawlyn

This is a powerful, descriptive poem about the destructive power of nature. It's a great example of an Oddquain Swirl and meets all the criteria of the form. Your words really bring the scene to life, and it's a nice touch to include the picture which inspired the poem.

Can't see any way this poem can be improved, hence the five stars. The title is fitting too.

Congratulations on having this featured in the poetry newsletter.

Have a Happy New Year *Smile*

Best wishes,
Mark


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56
56
Review of Smiling  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review for

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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Itchy Water~fictionandverse

This is a delightful, uplifting little poem about appreciating a sunny day. Your title is apt, and your poem put a smile on my face today. Living in Wales, a country that gets more than its share of rain, I really relate to the subject matter -- knowing how could it can be to see the sun shining.

I really like the Oddquain Swirl form you've written this in.

Congratulations on having this featured in the poetry newsletter.

Best wishes,
Mark


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57
57
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello arlene

This is a powerful, effective poem dealing with loss and memories. The poem flows well and the reader can feel the emotion behind the words. Your title is effective too. I like how you start each stanza with the same line -- with a slight variation in the last stanza.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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58
58
Review of The Doors  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello The_Empress

This short poem is dark and emotional. I think many readers will relate to the fear of the unknown; of what could be awaiting on the other side of the door. You create a real atmosphere with your words, and I was able to picture the scene.

Your last line packs an emotional punch.

The whole poem flows well and shows real talent.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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59
59
Review of Oxygen  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello S Grace

This is a very thoughtful poem about the opportunity for connections which strangers can provide. I love the section at the beginning of the poem about how we are all branches born from the same tree.

I think the huge difference in line lengths in this poem disrupt the flow, making the pace of the poem rather uneven. This aside your work shows talent and you've chosen a great subject to write about. Great title as well.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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60
60
Review of Another Year  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Seffi

This is a wonderful, emotional poem that though quite dark, is in the end defiant and hopeful in tone. Positive and inspirational. I think there will be many readers out there who will relate to your words. Very timely to with the end of year coming up.

Favourite part for me is the internal rhyme of deep -- the whole poem is very polished and reads beautifully but that section put a smile on my face.

You have real talent and I'm glad I discovered your work today.

Well deserved 5 stars. Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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61
61
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello fyn

This is a magical, uplifting poem that I found a joy to read, and which has got me more into the Christmas spirit. The sense of wonder and magic come across so well in this piece. I think there's a lot to love here and both children and adults can enjoy the story you weave.

I think the pacing is a little uneven in places, though admittedly that might just be how I'm reading it. I find reading work aloud can help locate any parts which may need a little editing to smooth out.

Overall though I found this a well-crafted, delightful poem.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Best wishes,
Mark


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62
62
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Joey's So Hot He's Melting

This is a very heartfelt little poem in celebration of a friendship. You convey the comfort and warm feelings of such a friendship very well in a few choice words. The number of repetitions of the word, me, convey how much the narrator of the poem is personally affected by this friendship and how much it means.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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63
63
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello C.E. Thieroff

This is a moving, emotive poem that I'm sure any reader who has experienced loneliness will relate to. I know I do?

I like how you've used the title as the last line of each stanza. This gives the poem real poignancy, and with this refrain I can imagine the poem working well set to music.

Your use of rhyme gives the poem a good rhythm too.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Best wishes,
Mark


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64
64
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello MidnightAngel

This is a wonderful descriptive, evocative poem that illustrates the pleasures that can be found in a 'simple walk'. It can be hard to get non-rhyming poetry to flow well but you've achieved great pacing here. You have a good ear for how words work together and you've obviously taken time and care in your word choices. The bit about the deer was particularly effective and really brought your poem to life for me.

Keep writing!
Best wishes,
Mark


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65
65
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Tim Chiu

This is a thoughtful, intelligent poem about human greed and our place in nature. You use language to good effect and obviously have a large vocabulary. You mention at the end of the poem how our need for 'comfort' and 'gratification' are often achieved 'through shady and unethical means'. I think there's scope there to say more and expand on this always topical subject.

I found the flow of the poem a little uneven in places. It may help to read the poem aloud as this can often highlight the parts where the pace is uneven.

I also thought the phrase 'do mirror' near the end of your penultimate stanza was a little awkward.

Otherwise this was a very good effort to write on a worthy universal subject.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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66
66
Review of Oasis of Love  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Beautiful Candy

This is an insightful poem that conveys strong emotion in very few words. I chose to read this because I really like the title and was intrigued. Having now read the poem I think the title is very fitting and sums up the idea at the heart of this piece.

In such short poetry every word has to carry a lot of weight and they really do here.

I found no errors, can't think of any way of improving the poem and think it's perfect just as it is. Therefore I'm very happy to give 5 stars.

Write on!

Best wishes,
Mark


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67
67
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review for

GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Miron

This is a very well written, insightful poem expressing a personal experience of Asperger's and the sensory challenges associated with this condition. Being the partner of an Aspie I got a lot out of reading this poem.

You've chosen your words with care and the poem feels polished and well edited. It flows very well. You use rhyme to great effect. Your 'silence/credence' rhyme particularly stood out for me as very creative.

I much enjoyed reading this. I found no errors and am happy to give it a full 5 stars.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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68
68
Review of Schrodinger's Man  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Aidan Gallows

It's not often that you see Schrodinger's Cat referred to in a poem, even indirectly as here. I'm impressed by your choice of subject matter and think you've handled it very well. I like how you've related a high-concept, scientific thought experiment to the human condition. I'm sure many readers will relate to the feelings you express. I know I've felt at times very similar to how the narrator of this poem feels.

This is a short poem but has a lot of substance.

Your use of couplets and rhyme gives the poem a good pace.

I really enjoyed reading this.

Best wishes,
Mark


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69
69
Review of Our Melody  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello K. A. Matthews

This is a lovely poem about the joys of music appreciation. Good music has certainly helped carry me through some of the toughest times in my life and take me out of myself for awhile so I very much agree with the sentiment of your poem. You use descriptive words to great effect, doing a grand job of describing music in words. Your short lines help the poem flow well.

Your seventh line, 'They rhythmic beats rise' I think should read 'The rhythmic beats rise'. I didn't spot any other errors.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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70
70
Review of Alone  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Carmen

This is a wonderful little poem on communication and its potential pitfalls. I love the descriptive language you use here. You've taken great care with your word choices and the poem feels very polished. Your short lines create a fast pace and the poem flows well.

The image in your opening stanza is striking and really grabbed my attention.

I love what you've done with the word, 'misunderstanding'. That's really creative.

Write on!

Best wishes,
Mark


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71
71
Review of Doubt  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Angels in my Ear

This is a moving, thoughtful reflective poem, narrated by a writer who has too-long suppressed her creativity and urge to write. I think many readers on WDC will be able to relate to the subject of your poem. Many of us have found life events have interfered with our writing ambitions.

You show real talent here. The poem flows well, and your use of rhyme creates a wonderful rhythm.

On this evidence I would answer the questions posed at the end of your poem by saying, yes, you really should fight to let your creative soul free. It is obviously an important part of you.

It looks to me like you've got an extra space between the words 'phantom' and 'echoes' in your third to last stanza. Otherwise I didn't spot any errors.

Write on!

Best wishes,
Mark


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72
72
Review of Love Is  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Moon dancer

This is a thoughtful reflection on the nature of love. You do well identifying both the positives and the negatives (how it can both make life worth living but also, at times, make us want to die). There is so much love poetry out there it's very easy to fall into the trap of clichéd, unoriginal writing. This poem is well written though and you mostly avoid this trap.

A couple of small corrections are needed. Both 'it;s' in your opening line and 'its' in your last but one line should be it's. Otherwise I didn't spot any errors.

Overall a very good piece of work, and I agree with what you have to say about love here.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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GROUP
SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Ben Garrick

This poem is a thoughtful rumination on love and the pain that can be associated with it. I'm sure many readers will relate to the subject matter here. Many of us have been hurt by love after all.

I like how you go from the idealisation of youth (unable to imagine love dying) to the pain of experience.

Poems about love are so commonplace, it's really hard to say anything new on the subject but you make a good job here of avoiding clichés.

You convey a lot of meaning in few words.

I found the flow a little uneven, partly due to the variety of line lengths you use I wonder if your single line middle stanza could be split into two after the word 'created'. This is just a suggestion obviously but it might make for a more steady pace.

I have no other suggestions. Overall I thought this was a good piece of writing.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Write on!

Best wishes,
Mark


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74
74
Review of One More Kiss  
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello again Betina Kroner

This is another wonderfully romantic Senryu. Very simple and very effective. You show great care in choosing your words. The poem flows well.

I've loved discovering your poetry today and will certainly read and review more in the future.

Keep writing!

Best wishes,
Mark


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75
75
Review of A Cold Night  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  (E)
A group whose mission is to spread positivity.
#1384154 by Simply Positive


Hello Betina Kroner

This is a really sweet romantic little poem about the need for warmth and comfort on a cold night. This is a great example of the Senryu form and you make every word count.

This made me smile, and I'm sure many readers will relate to the subject.

This was a joy to read. Thanks for sharing your work.

Best wishes,
Mark


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