I read your story a couple of times as I found it very interesting and wanted to make sure that I didn't miss any detail.
Your description as a fable for our time couldn't be more true. As a quasi student of Psychology and Sociology I felt that you were point on with how human nature works.
I look forward to reading more of your insight on the world that we live in.
Wonderfully written. I watched my mom and grandmother fall into the rabbit hole of demetia and it's hard.
My father, like yours, was always strong and robust. Even when was diagnosed with Parkinson's he didn't slow down. Until a motorcycle accident broke his back and other bones.
After that he too became a shell of his former self. It was so hard for me to witness.
Thankfully he's moved on to a better place. I still hear his voice giving strength to get through my tough times.
Thank you so much for sharing this personal story.
OMG! That was absolutely adorable. I loved the older childs personality. I think you captured it perfectly.
It reminded me of my mother telling me how she tried to put her younger brother into the trash can when her parents brought him home from the hospital.
I really like the flow of this poem.
Like you, the random things children say make me smile.
When my youngest son was little I held my breath at times because, as I used to tell people, he didn't have filters. If he thought it he said it.
That's beautiful and very introspective.
I definitely could relate to your words.
Yes moving on is hard, especially from an abusive or neglectful relationship but it can be done.
I know this from experience and I admire that you see what's in front of you without excuses or denial.
You have a beautiful soul.
My personal opinion is that you describe the setting in the beginning quite well. Wonderful imagery. Then you repeated the same description several times throughout the story. For me it was a bit much. I already could visualize the setting and the repetition distracted me.
Other than that suggestion it was a wonderful and imaginative work of art.
I enjoyed this story. The relationship between Justin and his mother was beautiful. It reminded me of me and my mother. All it took was a look and I understood her precisely.
I loved the visuals that the poem gave. It's true that some of nature rests at night only to wake up the next day. The only suggestion that I would offer is changing the word bercuese. I feel like if you have to explain to the reader what a word means for me it takes away from the flow of the words. Other than that I loved it!
I loved the lesson taught. As a parent I know that you always want to protect them but you have to be willing to let them live and explore. It's truly the only way to experience and learn about life. True they will make bad decisions but that's the way they become who they were meant to be. Thank you for the story.
Blessings- Moonie
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