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601 Public Reviews Given
603 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am a published author. That doesn't make me an expert reviewer but it does means I've learned a few things about good writing. You can expect me to critique storytelling, character development, plot, transitions and other building blocks of writing. I will point out grammar and punctuation issues when I notice them but if you are looking for someone to give that kind review, there are others who will do far better than I. I try to be honest and encouraging but if you're requesting a review, I'm sure you expect it to be thorough. Good reviews sometimes hurt. I can't spare you that and give you an honest review.
I'm good at...
Critiquing your storytelling skills, especially first chapter reviews. I'm also good at building believable characters and recognizing good dialogue. I can review whole novels but my time is limited and it has to be worth my while.
Favorite Genres
Action adventure, comedy, historical, sci-fi and well-conceived fantasy.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Erotica, LGBTQ, Poetry. Some of this I don't like at all while the rest I am wholly inadequate to give a review on.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, first chapters, and complete novels if they are not astronomically long.
Least Favorite Item Types
Extremely long novels, poetry, random chapters from the middle of a longer story.
I will not review...
Horror or Erotica. I will also not give reviews on random middle chapters. I don't believe they can be adequately reviewed out of context. Please don't ask me to review Vampire or Zombie stories. The sub-genre has been beaten to death and I don't want to read another one.
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Addiction  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

The subject and the progression of this poem are pretty straightforward. The repetition is effective.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I like the clarity of the message. I don't have any difficulty understanding what you are trying to say with this.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I'm having a difficult time making this into a useful review in the sense that there isn't anything about this piece the stands up and makes me say wow. I can't really explain it. It's good but I feel like it needs something more and can't really put my finger on it.

*Sun* Overall:

Good job. You're a better poet than I. The subject is appropriate and well handled so don't get the impression that I didn't like it. Keep up the good work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
52
52
Review of Interactive Art  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Curiosity killed the cat. Believably macabre. Door might need to be on the back so that people don't easily notice someone going in. What happens to the bodies? Do they slide down a chute and get made into dog food before the door opens for the next cycle? Hmm this sort of the thing could run for awhile.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

You told the story the right way. The initial victim adding layers as you go until the end where we understand fully just before the next victim goes in.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Too many weak verbs especially was. Writing most of them out will make the story all that much stronger.

*Sun* Overall:

Nicely done. Obvious story telling talent here. Keep up the great work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
53
53
Review of Fate  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I liked the poem you wrote here. I don't know what event in 1968 you are referring to but it probably doesn't matter. Someone once said "Fate is a fickle friend" but I disagree. We aren't friends.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I just like the way the subject was handled.

*Sun* Suggestions:

You might be able to tweak the rhythm and rhyme but personally I don't know if I'd bother.

*Sun* Overall:

Great work! It expresses its message eloquently. That's why I like it. Keep up the great work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
54
54
Review of He Cannot Breathe  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I liked the word pictures you wrote across the page. Some of them are really good whether they are in a poem or not.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Your third verse really spoke to me. I could identify with what you said in there.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I found the rhythm of this out of kilter for me. Depending on the effect you are trying to achieve this is where I think this piece could be improved.

*Sun* Overall:

Good work. Definitely have your own voice. That's a good thing. You'll learn a lot here like all the rest of us.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
55
55
Review of Wake Up Call  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Raw and real. I liked the writing but another part of me is a little uncomfortable with it. Not a bad thing. That's just my reaction.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The realness of the description.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I usually leave a blank line between all paragraphs even in dialog. I just find it a little easier to read.

*Sun* Overall:

Great writing. This could be a scene in something bigger.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
56
56
Review of Angel  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Very poetic full of images and impressions. As for understanding the deep meaning I'm not sure. I find myself thinking one thing in one part and something else toward the end. At the end I don't really think I do understand it in depth.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The imagery, the short word pictures you paint they are excellent and thought provoking.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Structurally the verse with only three lines stands out. I can't see why adding a line there and matching the rest wouldn't make sense.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. Poetry is not where I excel but I did enjoy this.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
57
57
Review of The Eagle  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I really liked your poem but keep in mind that I am one of the people here who ask the really stupid questions. Is there a reason why the poem is shifted over to the right side of the page? I would say that the rhyming and the rhythm are both excellent.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I liked the imagery throughout.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I had a little trouble following the flow of thought in the last two verses.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work! It's always nice to see a fellow Canadian on the site.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
58
58
Review of Worlds Apart  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Your writing definitely shows the heart of a poet. I liked the images you used and the way you put the poem together.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The poems progression. It moves from daydreaming to two people coming together.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Verb tense was confusing and that is what I think hurts this piece. Present and past are getting mixed together.

*Sun* Overall:

Good job. Hope you enjoy the time you spend with us here on WDC.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Excellent descriptive work. You painted a picture of this ancient forest. Well done on that count.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

"The trees stood like stone pillars of a great cathedral,
with a high ceiling of withering branches." This is the part I liked the most. Difficult to really explain why.

*Sun* Suggestions:

In the eleventh line you use "you" and in the seventeenth you say "I". I would make them both I for consistency sake.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. You are very new to the site. We look forward to seeing more of your work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
60
60
Review of Clarity  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This is a very well written haiku. I liked the subject and how it was developed.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Hard to pick out something specific in something this short. I find that the poem is either working or it isn't. In this case it is.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Last line I would have written lots of effort instead of "lot of efforts".

*Sun* Overall:

Nicely done. Haiku is a challenging form to write and you carried it off very well.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
61
61
Review of Our Moment  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

It was a struggle to find anything wrong with this. I was very impressed with the writing and the style of this.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The emotions expressed.

*Sun* Suggestions:

My only objections were those two sentences that ended in "no?". Delete those it sounds better without them.

*Sun* Overall:

Great job. Your writing is first rate.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
62
62
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

A thought provoking read. The great circle of life. I thought the poem itself was well written but I didn't find it a satisfying read.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The example of the roses.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I find that there is no real celebration of Grandmother's life in this poem. It would have been appropriate and maybe made it seem more comforting. Without this the response of the little girl doesn't seem real. I'm not saying this needs to be huge. Maybe playing on roses being Grandmother's favorite flowers or something would bring that element.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. I can't pick at your poetry it is far superior to mine.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
63
63
Review of Nightmares  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm not much into the horror genre but this was an interesting enough read. It had enough interesting twists as it goes along.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The ending. That's the way a horror story should end.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Chocked should be spelled choked. The word was kept cropping up as well. This might have been strong if it was written in a more active voice.

*Sun* Overall:

Good work with this story.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
64
64
Review of heeeelp!  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

You poor dear. I hope someone has already sprung you out of that wretched prison. I hope Rudy made it too. It's always nice to have some one to listen to you. I'm still a little short of gps to sponsor my daughter for an upgraded membership. I'm sure you understand. Family comes first.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Rudy.

*Sun* Suggestions:

In the last paragraph you wrote Ruuyard. Kind of forgot the d. I'm sure under those circumstances Rudy will understand that spelling wasn't your number one priority.

*Sun* Overall:

This gp miser found this a very entertaining creative read. Keep have fun on the page.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
65
65
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm always delighted when I come a across this kind of assignment and the entries make some sense. I like the first entry better than the second one.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I like the progression in the first entry.

*Sun* Suggestions:

It is a lot easier for me to review when there is only one item in the item. They were both worth reading.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. This is the type of writing that I see like but don't really have the time or the inclination to try my hand at... yet. I liked your work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
66
66
Review of Beaten Down.  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Great emotion and excellent description. A little dark but I liked the honest ring to it.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The raw emotion. This is clearly to me the strength of this piece.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Not much to add here. I would write out the "blah blah blah". I also think that it could have been a little bit longer.

*Sun* Overall:

Great work. A fresh voice with a message is always welcome on WDC. Look forward to seeing more of you around the site.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
67
67
Review of Shoes  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This is a nice little opinion piece. I read this a day after a friend at work came to do his first group presentation. We were all impressed with the dark suit he wore for the occasion until he stepped out to where we could see his shoes. He was wearing over-sized light tan sneakers. Someone loaned him a dark pair of shoes before his moment in the sun. He definitely needs to do some shoe shopping.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I liked it but I don't think there was anything that really stood out especially for me. It just made me think of shoes.

*Sun* Suggestions:

When you load your work it's always good to double check how it looks. I think you need to skip a line between your paragraphs. You might have that in your word processor. I sometimes work in open office and the skipped line between paragraphs does not carry over when I copy and past into here to submit my work.
Otherwise I don't see much here to nitpick.

*Sun* Overall:

Great work. After glancing at your portfolio I wished there was more to look at. Look forward to seeing more of your work on the site.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
68
68
Review of The....  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Lots of great imagery throughout. It flows nicely.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Easily the images you create as the poem moves along.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I've read a lot of poems that are considered masterpieces and get the same thing out of them that I get out of this one. While the images are terrific I can't find a solid place in my mind to hang them on. I don't clearly relate them to anything.

*Sun* Overall:

I think you are a talented poet. I just clearly want to understand whatever message is there for me. Great work though!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
69
69
Review of Stars  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Two nice little poems on related subject matter. It still would have listed them as separate items though. It makes it a little easier for reviewers. The first is lighthearted and the other more serious.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Most of the imagery works very well.

*Sun* Suggestions:

"Funky and free" doesn't really do it for me.

*Sun* Overall:

I liked the rhythm and rhyming. Keep up the good work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
70
70
Review of Dear God 3/3/2011  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This is an interesting prayer. Nothing ground breaking but well expressed.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I'm reluctant to pick out anything specific.

*Sun* Suggestions:

A couple things. I would stick with one method of emphasizing your words. In one place you write in a caps for emphasis and later you bold print. The other point I would make is that when quoting a scripture the way you did skip the word "says". It really is unnecessary.

*Sun* Overall:

Well expressed.

Keep on writing!

Pico

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
71
71
Review of Lilac Time  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

There is a reason that you're doing this challenge instead of someone like myself. This is really good. I'm not a great poet or poetry reviewer so I occupied myself making sure your lines all had the same number of syllables. Thankfully I can count. I liked the imagery.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Deadheading the family lilac bushes was one of my chores growing up each year. I love the smell of them so it was very easy for me to get into this.

*Sun* Suggestions:

none

*Sun* Overall:

Great job. Good luck with the Survivor contest. I'm going to go vote now. Keep up the terrific work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
72
72
Review of On Giving Reviews  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum " Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This is a very helpful well written article. In fact, for the time being I've made myself a fan because I would like to refer to it now and then while I improve my reviewing skills.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I like the clear well laid out organization. That is extremely important for something that would be considered reference material.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Colors don't thrill me much and I don't think it is really necessary. I didn't mark you down for that. I didn't like your opening sentence though. What I don't like about it is hard to pin down. I just didn't. The rest of the writing was excellent though.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work! Like I said early I will be back to refer to this now and then because I think the content was really good. Keep up the good work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I thought I'd give you the honor of being my three hundredth review victim. Like you planned this story was severely screwed up and for that reason we all loved it. I thought you should have won but of course you know that I'm biased.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

"Hutcha" Your Mom was suffering arthritic pain again and I tried invoking this but it didn't work. She laughed though. That's a start.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Are you kidding? I awarded you the one that you worked so hard to earn.

*Sun* Overall:

I'm proud of you. You entered your first contest and I think you came up with something that was at least considered for the prize. Let's see that portfolio of yours grow and your writing get better.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
74
74
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm not much of a poet myself and what I know about Haiku is only a little bit of reading online.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I do like the simplicity of this piece of work.

*Sun* Suggestions:

My limited knowledge doesn't show me anything wrong with it, so I gave you full marks.

*Sun* Overall:

There wasn't much in your port yet. There is a lot to do, see and read here. Welcome to WDC. I look forward to seeing you around.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
75
75
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I thought this was a nice love poem that I could relate to. The imagery wasn't spell binding but it had a down to earth honestly about it that I liked.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Your rhyming couplets were good. There were a lot of what we call imperfect rhymes but you carried it throughout so they didn't stand out oddly. In short they worked.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I think where this poem has the most potential for improvement is with the rhythm. I don't think it ever really gets to a recognizable rhythm and that may help this.

*Sun* Overall:

I thought it was better than the average rating I saw on it and have rated it according to how I feel about it. I thought it was a pretty good poem. Keep up the good work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
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