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601 Public Reviews Given
603 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I am a published author. That doesn't make me an expert reviewer but it does means I've learned a few things about good writing. You can expect me to critique storytelling, character development, plot, transitions and other building blocks of writing. I will point out grammar and punctuation issues when I notice them but if you are looking for someone to give that kind review, there are others who will do far better than I. I try to be honest and encouraging but if you're requesting a review, I'm sure you expect it to be thorough. Good reviews sometimes hurt. I can't spare you that and give you an honest review.
I'm good at...
Critiquing your storytelling skills, especially first chapter reviews. I'm also good at building believable characters and recognizing good dialogue. I can review whole novels but my time is limited and it has to be worth my while.
Favorite Genres
Action adventure, comedy, historical, sci-fi and well-conceived fantasy.
Least Favorite Genres
Horror, Erotica, LGBTQ, Poetry. Some of this I don't like at all while the rest I am wholly inadequate to give a review on.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, first chapters, and complete novels if they are not astronomically long.
Least Favorite Item Types
Extremely long novels, poetry, random chapters from the middle of a longer story.
I will not review...
Horror or Erotica. I will also not give reviews on random middle chapters. I don't believe they can be adequately reviewed out of context. Please don't ask me to review Vampire or Zombie stories. The sub-genre has been beaten to death and I don't want to read another one.
Public Reviews
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76
76
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I thought this was a nice love poem that I could relate to. The imagery wasn't spell binding but it had a down to earth honestly about it that I liked.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Your rhyming couplets were good. There were a lot of what we call imperfect rhymes but you carried it throughout so they didn't stand out oddly. In short they worked.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I think where this poem has the most potential for improvement is with the rhythm. I don't think it ever really gets to a recognizable rhythm and that may help this.

*Sun* Overall:

I thought it was better than the average rating I saw on it and have rated it according to how I feel about it. I thought it was a pretty good poem. Keep up the good work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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77
77
Review of ONE DAY AN ANGEL  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I liked the way this poem flowed right through to the last couplet. The rhyme scheme and the rhythm were easy to identify.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

This is hard to pin down. I like the way all the elements worked together on this one.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I trip over something in that last couplet and I can't quite say what it is. I don't know if it's something in the rhythm or the wording or a bit of both. I think it has to do with the last line being spoken to "you" but not saying so until the last phrase.

*Sun* Overall:

There isn't much to add. Excellent work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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78
78
Review of Fairy’s Favor  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I thought this was a delightful poem.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Easily the story line.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I would have tinkered with the rhythm more. In some verses the number of beats per line in the same throughout in others it varies.

*Sun* Overall:

Great story line. Great rhyming throughout. I really like the poem. Keep up the great work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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79
79
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

On reading this, it is obvious that English is not your first language. Writing in a language other than your own is very difficult. In spite of all that the purpose behind the piece is understandable and does come through. Kudos for that.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The descriptive phrases you use. Behind the language mistakes I see a gift for observing little things and writing memorable images.

*Sun* Suggestions:

If you intend to write in English, don't give up. Keep working at building your vocabulary and improving your grammar. It will come through in your work.

*Sun* Overall:

I do not wish to discourage you in any way. You are young and appear to have potential as a writer. I could not write as you do in a second language even though I am multilingual. Not many people can. Keep practicing and your work with improve.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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80
80
Review of Sin City  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This was horrifyingly well written. I'm not much into horror or writing about things from the dark side like this. I may include something like this in the broader scope of something I wrote but I won't make it the main focus of anything I write. There are elements here I learn from though when creating my own believable villains.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Getting inside the head of your main character.

*Sun* Suggestions:

The weak verb was snuck in there and I think it could be written out. I don't believe you have to eliminate all of them. You did use quite a few of them in the middle of the story.

*Sun* Overall:

This was a FF entry and I was impressed with the quality of the writing. I'm still trying to reach that level in pieces that I've done a lot of revising. Keep up the great work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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81
81
Review of Lingering Dreams  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I was thoroughly impressed with this piece. I'm not much of a poet myself but I did like what I saw here.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I didn't see anything I didn't like. I have a hard time picking out something specific to like more than the rest.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Outside of keep on producing excellent work, none.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. It was a pleasure to read and ponder it.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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82
82
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This piece has a small town newspaper weekly opinion column feel to it. That is not meant to disparage the work. I think it works.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The personal experience included in the work.

*Sun* Suggestions:

The writing maybe could be better but I wouldn't mess with it. I think it accomplishes it's purpose the way it is.

*Sun* Overall:

Great job! I work in a call center and understand what you wrote here very well. Keep up the good work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
83
83
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm not much for fantasy or dragon stories. My kids read them by the wheelbarrow full. I thought the story was well put together and well written.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I liked the premise of the dragon skin protecting the warrior. In places your description is superb.

*Sun* Suggestions:

"Noooooooooo!"...?? I don't think that really worked. Random thoughts: Does it really take several seasons to manage to build a meager hut? "Sodden face"? I also found that the concluding paragraph while logical was a bit of a leap from the rest of the story. My intention is not to poke fun at the story because I thought it was really quite good. My impression is that you wrote this quickly for the Cramp but never took the time to rework it afterwards. Been there.

*Sun* Overall:

I think this is a great draft and with a little tinkering would be a really great short story. Whether you have the time or the inclination to revisit this story is up to you.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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84
84
Review of A Song of Madoc  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Again I'm glad you described it as a Tri-Fall poem at the beginning. That gives me an important reference point. You stuck to the form and told the story at the same time.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Rhyming in my view was flawless and you told the story well within the confines of the poetry form you chose.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I'm not sure I really liked the rhythm of it. It is consistent throughout though.

*Sun* Overall:

I think your work is excellent. I'm expecting the family to be pretty much settled in by the end of the week. Then I really have to get after a few things. One of the most important is my writing. I'm hoping to follow in your footsteps and get published myself. Looking forward to the stories and poetry you create to fill out your book.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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85
85
Review of Sacred Hills  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm not much of a poet and your work here is a great deal more advanced than what I usually see on the site here.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I greatly appreciate the note you put at the end identifying your rhyme scheme. It was obvious enough but for the novice like myself it always helps.

*Sun* Suggestions:

None.

*Sun* Overall:

Great job. I haven't spent any real time perusing your poetry but I am impressed. I liked the way it was handled.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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86
86
Review of Tatsuwa's Cloud  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I read this quite some time ago but did not make a review at the time. I liked the way you put the story together.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I like the way you develop the characters in the story. I think that is the strength of your work here.

*Sun* Suggestions:

The verb "was" just keeps coming up in this piece. I think they need to be pruned back a bit. Not necessarily get rid of them all because you don't want to change the feel and rhythm of the story too much.

*Sun* Overall:

The story is effective and interestingly written. One thing that I think I really like in your writing is that you've managed to write about the issues with a unique voice. I've found a lot of stories or articles discussing wrongs inflicted on the first nations that come off as cliche. I don't mean that to insult anyone. The issues are real. You avoid the pitfalls that I've seen. That is the most important point I see and like in your writing that I've reviewed so far. I'm glad to see that you are going to be published.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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87
87
Review of Withered Bars  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Nice to see other Canadians writers on WDC. I liked your poem. The imagery was understandable to my limited poetic ear.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The imagery and the way it progresses through the poem.

*Sun* Suggestions:

There was rhyming in this piece but I could not identify a clear rhyming scheme. It might have been stronger with a more rigid rhyme scheme. Might also tinker with the rhythm but I thought that was alright.

*Sun* Overall:

You're as new as new can be on this site. I would like to see more of your work here. Good job!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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88
88
Review of Max the robot  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

High marks for writing a fifty five word story with a beginning, middle and end. Well done.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The robot finds a logical solution to the problem at hand.

*Sun* Suggestions:

This is tricky. Some of the wording in this is awkward. The trick is to rephrase things without changing the word count. Good luck...

*Sun* Overall:

I'm impressed with this piece. I'm not real good at hitting a specific word count. I have enough trouble making my stories either long enough or short enough. Keep up the great work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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89
89
Review of Faking  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This strikes me as a simple straightforward sound advice piece.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I liked the second verse. Explaining why is difficult. Maybe I find it very original.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Double check spelling. Friends has a typo in the third verse. I don't have any trouble with the imperfect rhyme in the second verse with acts and back but I don't feel like the rhyme scheme change from verse to verse helps.

*Sun* Overall:

The poem is better than average and has a lot of strengths. It is clear in its meaning and purpose. It doesn't feel like something is missing and no feel that there is anything extra. It is a whole. Keep up the good work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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90
90
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Powerful piece of writing with a strong message.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I thought you captured the feelings of the mother in the story well. You do make the story real.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Editors and publishers generally are not real fond of the weak verb "was". Take time to count how many times you used it in this piece. I think with appropriate rephrasing you could eliminate most of the them. It should make the writing even stronger.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work! There really is not a great deal that can be done to improve this work. Keep up the good work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
91
91
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I'm not sure how I would fare writing in one of these extreme limited word count story contests. Kudos to you.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

Favorite element here is easily the fact that this story has a beginning, middle and end. I've read other entries before and not all of them did.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I found the short choppy sentences a little bit distracting. I know it would be difficult to make the sentences flow more within the parameters you were working in but still. I found the word 'was' over used and maybe those two elements would help solve each other if you ever revisited this.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work. Keeping a story that short and writing something that could be defined as a story is a real challenge.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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92
92
Review of "A Man Among Men"  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

Always appreciate something written as a tribute to a parent.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

You stuck to a recognizable consistent rhyming scheme. It helps hold the poem together as a whole.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I think the rhythm in this piece could use some tweaking. It doesn't always flow as well as it maybe could.

*Sun* Overall:

Excellent work.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
93
93
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

One hundred words with no repeats, that was definitely a challenge. I'm impressed that you pulled off a complete scene within those guideline. Strange but the scene works and makes sense.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

The title. It's a perfect introduction to this scene.

*Sun* Suggestions:

"Psychiatrist—Yep. Appointment time!" Beyond the scene something definitely needs to be addressed. This scene mostly introduces a need that needs to be followed up on somewhere.

*Sun* Overall:

Deliciously weird. Keep up the great work!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
94
94
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Review Forum Open in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I liked this cute everyday family scene. A thought did flash across my mind of, who's watching the kids while Mom slips out to the convenience stores?

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I liked the use of dialog peppered with description.

*Sun* Suggestions:

Most of the descriptive sentences are excellent. There are a few awkward one's. An example is: "My mother pours me, a chubby 5-year-old, a modest bowl of Cheerios."

*Sun* Overall:

Great dialog! Great description!

Keep on writing!

Pico

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Please take the time to visit my portfolio. Reviews are always welcome.
95
95
Review of Sweet Dreams  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

I kind of liked this. It comes off as a love song type of poem.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

I did take the time to look at your links. Your rhyming and rhythm are superior and reflect the songwriter in you. I might have guess at that without the links.

*Sun* Suggestions:

I honestly think your writing and music will grow and develop along with time. I think it's pretty good and you just need to keep doing it.



Keep on writing!

Pico

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96
96
Review of I MISS MY GRANDPA  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a review from "Simply Positive Newbie ReviewersOpen in new Window.

Remember I am not a professional reviewer. These are just my personal impressions and thoughts. My goal is to be encouraging and give you something that will actually help your writing.

*Sun* First Impressions:

This poem had a very different feel to it than I usually get when reading a poem. Kind of hard to put my finger on but I did find it in a way refreshing.

*Sun* My Favorite Elements:

What makes it different is what makes it appealing. You come out as a different unique voice and that is probably the greatest strength I see in your writing.

*Sun* Suggestions:

As a poet you need to pay attention to rhythm and rhyme. In this case I think you could tune the rhythm a little to make it better. Free verse is fine without any effort to rhyme but when you do that your images and your rhythm become all that more important.

*Sun* Overall:

Great work! I spend a lot of time on this site and I look forward to stumbling across more of your work either by accident or by design.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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97
97
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
I was surprised this had an average rating of three and a half. That's what I give for slightly better than average. This is way better than average. Your story has a good beginning, middle and end. It flows well and is understandable. There is variety in the sentence and paragraph structures and the story itself does keep the reader's interest throughout. I can't even knock it for using too many weak verbs like was and had. In short I really liked your story. I wasn't that far from saying wow and bestowing you with five stars.

Keep on writing!

Pico

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98
98
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I couldn't find the freeze frame contest that this was written for so I don't know the rules or prompts you were writing to. That aside I really enjoyed this. I like to have a positive take on everything and I love to read where something that is definitely bad can lead to something positive. I wouldn't wish the pain you have suffered on anyone but from your writing I appreciate what you have become.

Thanks for the upbeat encouraging read. Keep on writing!

Pico

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99
99
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really enjoyed the metaphorical WDC building visit. It is a nice warm way to introduce a new writer to the site. I think it does a really nice job of capturing the essence of the site. I do wish I had more time to spend here. I do plan to be one of the people you will bump into in the halls of this site for quite some time.

Thanks and keep on writing!

Pico

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100
100
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Honestly I was enjoying this piece of writing too much to pay attention to nitpicking things in your writing. That is a very good thing. At least you tried the Vegemite. I chickened out on that one. Too many bad experiences with food from other cultures in the past.

I reread it and still don't have anything to really criticize. I liked the description top to bottom.
Great job. Keep on writing!

Pico

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