Short, creative, and highly charged with romance. I enjoyed this! The impact was laking for words but did not need to use anymore here. Flow, Grammar...all very good. Thanks for sharing!
Beautiful write about a girl you reallydidnt know cause she was not that way when you met her, but then, agically she bounces back , and is stable, happy, and secure, and now a brand new gorl to you, you hold her in your arms! Very sentimental, very good grammar and a very good flow to the poem. Great job!
Fav Part:
"I saw her tonight across the room
the metamorphosis complete
I wrapped her in my arms
I felt the deep change
I whispered in her ear
you got it?
yes, she replied
I held her more closely"
Beautiful and heart felt poem. I loved the pin turned to strength and inspiration!
You display your heart on your sleeve here with this work, and it saddens me quite a bit. I am deeply sypathetic to this piece, yet extremely proud of yopu seeing it.
Thanks so much fopr sharing your lemons made into lemonade! Great work!
Fav Part:
"But tonight . . .
This Fragile child of eternity is no longer lost,
Never again will she be obsessed . . .
For this curse of time has shown her truth."
What an insightful write into your life. I found this work to be a little depressing. The message was clear but I am not sure if it was wanted or not? The flow made for an enjoyable read I can only say this reminds me of the discovery of population control.
Fav Part: "When the past
Of the troubled soul
Will not leave him be,
One way,
There is one way,
To rid himself of pain worldwide."
This was an excellent romantic write. I enjoyed your passion and emotion you shared with the reader. I found your flow to be smooth and consistent making this an easy read. Thank you for sharing it with me and all of us here on WDC.
Fav Part: "I had a festival of metaphors
and a rainbow of similes.
Poems blossomed in my garden.
Short stories came to life
with characters you'd want to meet."
What a wonderful heart filled write. The reader can feel the emotion and passion you have for your little one who is struggling to survive. I wish you and your little one all of the best and I am sure all will soon be better for the both of you.
Fav Part: "Weeks have passed and she is still with us,
Feisty, screaming, and throwing a fuss.
Her mother's knees are now raw from prayer,
Refused solace or comfort of chair."
I enjoyed this humorous and true writing on a new subject to me. I do believe this is the first fortune cookie write I have come across and it is wonderful. I enjoyed your description of the taste and how the message might be better if the taste was.lol Thank you for sharing this with me it made me smile.
Fav Part: "I don’t put much stock in Chinese fortune cookie predictions. Perhaps if the cookies were delicious their foretellings would carry more weight."
I enjoyed this write. How strange the timing of this work must have been to you. It is remarkable the way things work out like that. I am sure your mother would be very proud of you today especially posting this wonderful piece here on WDC for all to enjoy.
Fav Part: " Penned in dark halls; drafty.
the last warmth of it's embrace.
the last breath of common man.
when final fires; danced final flames."
What a nice poem. I found the flow to be consistent and smooth making for an enjoyable read. The alternating rhythmic pattern worked will in this piece. I like all of the quartets but found the one below to have the most impact for me. Thank you for sharing this write with all of us here on WDC.
Fav Part: "My logic is mystified pondering magnitude without limit,
A finite creature struggling to grasp the eternal dance,
Certainly my thoughts run tirelessly to the phantom summit,
Only to begin below, anew, at the foundation of my ignorance."
What a wonderful tribute to a very special person in your life. The reader can feel the passion and love you have for your lost loved one. I am sorry to hear of your loss, but I am happy you have immortalized her here on WDC. Thank you for sharing this wonderful write with all of us here at WDC.
Fav Part: "I love and miss you very much, Granny."
I enjoyed this short poetic write you have created here. I found the message was sent in a strong fashion to the reader. The sad ending is heart felt and shows the reader you have truly felt this way before. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Fav Part: "As the sun sets, a small sparkling star shines a quick burst of hope
and slowly disappears among the night-lights of the city."
I enjoyed this insightful write into your religious believes. I found that you have formed your connection with God but you are reluctant to make use of it. I hope you can find that you are not bothering God but merely communicating with him. Thank you for sharing this write with all of us here at WDC.
Fav Part: "God loves it when I call upon Him.
He wants to be involved in my life.
He wants me to sit at the abundant table that He has set for me.
He wants me to be happy joyous and free.
Yet I am reluctant to bother Him."
What a creative write to an obvious passion you have. I enjoyed your choice of wording and descriptive vocabulary you choose. I thank you for sharing this with me and all of the rest of us here on WDC.
Fav Part: "With a rebellious, tattooed, pretty blond in tow
On two wheels, custom paint and chrome, dreams abound"
A fine tribute to another one of my favorite subjects Art. I enjoyed the artist you choose I do believe this is the first write on here that I have read on Monet. I found your write to express a vivid picture of the artists works which formed a portrait in the readers mind.
Fav Part: "A fine tribute to another one of my favorite subjects Art. I enjoyed the artist you choose I do believe this is the first write on here that I have read on Monet. I found your write to express a vivid picture of the artists works which formed a portrait in the readers mind."
A nice treasure with alot of emotion and heartache attached. I see that you left your wife in death, is this a letter to her when you leave the world? Anyhow, highly tender, creative and overall a tribute that is wonderful to your true love.
Fav Part:
"My Love I have never loved one like this before. From the first day we met I knew you would be special. I found out that I LOVE YOU! From the bottom of my heart, we met on short notice but have grown for a long-term thing. To turn from you now would be like pulling my heart from my chest. "
Wonderful poem you have written on the depth in life and in people. I often think highly deeply like this and ponder many things I imagine most don't. You can imagine that this was pleasurable to read. Short, but still very meaningful. Thank you so much for sharing!
Fav Part:
"We are all like burning candles,
We are alike-
We shine brightly,
Leaving impressions and marks of little worth -
Indelible upon the earth.
Only to slowly extinguish into darkness;
To expire of our own accord."
I think this poem is very sad, that you feel the words "I love you" are abused. However, they are by some but not by all. I know someday you will have those words said to you. We all do!! I thought this could have been longer to make it more effective. Other than that, I thought it was sad and I hope that you will meet many people here that will change your mind. This is a wonderful site! Welcome!
Keep it up!
Very empowering write about someone you loved so much, and then was left to live without them in hurt and betrayel. I believe we all can relateto this one as it is a commonly wrong human experience in love or lust. IMy heart bled for you as I read this, and the words were stinging, which is wonderful. The flow was perfect also. I really hope you are able to mend from this! Thank you so much for sharing.
Fav Part:
"What have you got to say to me?
That I meant nothing at all
That we were destined to fall
That your heart was too cold
And you decided to screw it all "
I felt every word, but this part was non-gendered, so I liked it the most.
Keep it up!
I see the anger in this write quite clearly. The explanation is quite long, yet I din't see that it really connected to make a clear message to the reader. I also noticed many spelling errors, but I am no grammar buff. I am just saying speelcheck might help you out if you don't know how to speel a word from time to time. The contents were wishy-washy as though at first you are mad at this person for a relationship they had, and then all of a sudden, you are mad because they aren't doing as well in their lives as you? Isn't that somewhat selfish? Aren't friends supposed to be there unconditionally for the people they love? The very people they call firends? I thibk most you survey would say yes. I think if you edited this to create a more clarified reason of why you are "turning your back on this friend" you could have a more understandable piece. Nice strength in the words themselves though.
Fav Part:
"you can only forgive for so long
soon you start watching them kill themselves with the
pain and suffering
then the lying the
ill try and do better im just stupid
i will smartin up i will do better
soon they take two steps forward
they are doing good
but alas the final moment
disapointment".
No matter where my friends have been in their lives, I never felt dissapointed. Unless you were directly lied to time and time again for a really wrong reason, and that I cannot determine here. Thanks for sharing and welcome to WDC!! Keep it up!
Highly emotional poem that kept my eyes glud. I was fascinated by the flow, the strength in love behind the words, and the overall meaning. I too like music, so I love the title. I believe this is a simple yet profoundly effective love write. I enjoyed this very much!
Fav Part:
"If the earth
Were to swallow me whole
I’d hope to become a stone
So as to be embedded
In the very road you step on"
This Bio was highly creative, mysterious, and you seem to really have a level of gratiude for all on the site and with your friends and loved ones! I really enjoyed this, I laughed, I shook my head, I nodded, I smiled.
I love the ppic of the cow in the stable and you say "I look annoyed here" lol. Well, I reviewed one of your other works, and I thought it was fantastic! You are a mod I have never met before, so I thought I'd introduce myself, cause your writing is wonderful! Keep it up Hooves!
Fav Part::
"I sure do miss him and my beloved friends who don't want to be named but they know who they are. But, I was lucky enough to meet him and his two young'ns in real life a while back and we have kept a nice friendship over the years so it's all good there."
Saddening write about something that made you not care about your "dearly beloved". The flow was good, the words gentle, and the tone was strong. I findthese types of poems to bethe most difficult to interpret, however, the mystery is worth reading!
Fav Part:
"Hello there, dearly beloved
So sad that it has come down to this
So sad that you can’t look me in the eyes
Hello there, dearly beloved
Goodbye Goodbye"
Very great depiction of yearning for that connection to never be los h lterally and figurativaly! I relyenjoyed this.I am a sap for love and have had these feelings as well. Very gentle, tender. A treat to read! Thank you for sharing this.
Fav Part:
"And why does the late night hours
always feel like the end?
I'm not sure what I'd want you to say...
but I wish you'd call back again."
I enjoyed this political write even though I am sure many of us have had our fill of politics for right now with the election coming up. I found myself wanting to know what is in store for Kal and his men next. Thank you for sharing this with me an all of WDC.
Fav Part: "Just who do you think authorized this little excursion?” Kal retorted. “You think the Guild actually gives two pints of piss about a worthless little peddler such as yourself? You and I are finally at a reckoning. I came here for Jake.”"
Keep it up!
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and a very good flow to the poem. Great job!