Great work describing how fear and mistrust can make us feel rooted to the spot. Immobile, if you will. I really bwelieve that this struck a personal chord in me, as I am always trying to go out on a limb, then I think it will blow up in my face if I take a risk. I knowq that's a misconception within my own mind! You pertrayed these fearful emotions we have well. I almost cried wjhile reading. This packed a punch and had a great rythym as well. Good work!
Fav Part:
"Tomorow comes too slow,
the minute hand,
paralysed with fear.
The last trains left,
yet I remain here.
Locked up, locked,
the silence at the door.
The whispers behind,
and shouts beyond,
I wonder what it's for."
Very mysterious write you hhave here. I really enjoyed the educational value behind it, yet it kept me wondering, which is good if thats your inrended purpose. I believe this is a great plelude to start a story or an essay. I really liked how you used the words of a conjuring guenius. They seemed to be highly effective in keeping the reader intdesrested, Then-the end. Makes one wonder what more they can know about this that you write. Great work!
Fav Part:
"The Warriors of the Black Sun, the silent crusaders. They were known by many, seen by few, and when they struck it was a swift addition to fearsome myth, the rumors spreading like ripples silently over the galaxy. "
Great poem about parental implementation of confusin and hatred prjected to their innocent children. For me, I really appreciated this piece for personal reasons. I enjoyed the fact that you were so truthful yet so delicate while describing your horror in relation to your mothers awfully stubborn opinions. No errors, just a very good piece about how family does and can make your perception jaded if they so choose to. I am so sorry tht your Mom tried to do this and not just give you a chance to learn on your own. I'm sorry for your pain.
Fav part:
"He must haunt her,
I thought,
since she never touched another man.
Never loved another.
"They're all dogs."
She stood from the table and went to her room.
No Good night.
No nothing."
Beautifully written poem about how you can;t seem to know the "real" person behind your lover. It seems asa though you don;t trust, and you really conyey the fear you have in falling further into this person well. A very honest, tothe point write! I love how you still hold this person in your mind as you arent sure if your mind is telling you to stay away, but that you maight be wrong. I believe this is much like me. Always apprehensive, yet always open to knowing I could have the wrong impression. Isn't that really confusing? Anyhow..great job in showing your vulnerability and real feelings all at once.
Fav Part:
"The reality rings, solely for me. Telling me to move, along.
It whispers lies, I know I despise. They tell me that you are gone.
My mind tells me to get over you.
My heart tells me you're still here.
Should I listen to my trust?
Or give in to rational fear?"
Listen to your heart. You might be pleasantly surprised. Werirder things have happened. No errors either. Keep it up!
Astoundingly powerful advice about how the women in your beloved brothers' lives should treat them. This has a creative flair, the words bright and vibrant. Rhis is a treasure to your brothers because it shows your heart and your intellect as well. Absolutely no errors. Very powerful and endearing!
Fav Part:
"My brothers,
Stick with the woman who won't try to change you, but inspires you to change yourself
The woman who requests affection and not your pay check
The woman who would do for you what she would do for herself"
Very good write about realizing how to stay strong through repercussion or unfair treatment. You clearly defined what evookes my heart..individuality and being accepted as so. Your words were warming, comforting and tell a great opposition so many go through. Being yourself is the best way to accept and love...not only you but everyone unconditionally. Thank you so much for sharing this very eye-opening write.
Fav Part:
"With realisation comes re-assurance
It is all the tiny little drops that make a sea
All the insignificant grains of rice that make a meal
Great logical and emotional piece about lefties. I, too, have had people try to make me a right hander. I cna't be. I was told in school that I wasn;t writing "properly" if I wasn't writing with my right hand. I never understood why lefties got so much flack. I did and was one of them just like you. A highly untalked about subject here that stimulated my mind in a whole new plot of writing. About scientific research. Great job! Who can judge another and make an assumption about them based on being different? We are all unique and not perfect. Who writes the rules for what s perfect anyway? I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience as a left hander, but here you are today, writing a wonderful article about this and doing very well at keeping the reader's interest.
Fav Part:
"Despite the fact that left-handers have had to put up with, there are a lot of perks to being left handed. Many left-handers tend to excel at sports, and are even able to develop an advantage due to their left dominance. In boxing for example, having a strong left hook could certainly take your opponent by surprise! Left-handers are also extremely likely to be more creative individuals. This quality often means being quite adept in fine arts"
Societal expectation always is proven wrong at a later date. You described this well, my creative leftie!
Great "climbing Poem." How ironic that you wrote so concisely about not winnig, that you won for this great unique style of writing. Very good and humorous too! This. combined with the educational content you provide makes this one a five. Thanks so much for sharing!
Fav Part:
"Fifteen tries, yet
he cries - no wins."
Keep it up!
Unbelievable poetry about someone who has touched your heart forever. We all have these people that come into our lives...some for a moment, some for eternity with many gaps of silence in between. Your dream love is l;ucky that you wrote this for them. It sppeaks volumes about your heart and that you want nothing but the best for this person. You already are a saint to have written this even in pain. It's so much nicer to thikn positively about people we love, instead of negatively. You mastered that message! No writing werrors that I could see...just a great soul wearing their heart on their sleeve!
Fav Part:
"My mission is to transform into reality
My dreams where you knew me...
For me you are a beauty, and I am a Beast,
Funny enough, In this tale, I do believe...
I hope that when you find that right person
The one that would sing you songs forever,
May you not forget me or my poetry,
If I am not worthy of your love, may I be in your memory..."
Great powerful poem about a topic that's so real, so awful, and very important to many. You made this flow well, I don;t see any mistakes, and the topic at hand makes this poem unbelievably powerful. If one person reads thjis and can be taught something to protect their children, then this has donr it's job well. A very emotional poem about a very overlooked subject. Great message to send to all online.
Fav part:
"“Oh to have her, just even once.
I’ve searched for you, baby, all these months.
I see in your eyes you want me, too.
Age doesn’t matter with me and you.”
Internet misused as the peddler of pics.
Innocence stolen by ones who are sick.
Sharing our children with a click of a mouse,
raping, abusing in the shelter of house."
Hilarious story about a skunk and trying to pass off the smell the whole time,. The contents were highly animated, making it more comical and enjoyable. The skunk smell, the puke, the cologne, roomspray all made this story come to life. Great job in effectiveness. Thank you for sharing.
Fav Part:
"“A skunk sprayed around here?”
“Yep!”
“Man, it smells like it’s real close!”
“Yea, I think it nailed the neighbors cat. I saw it darting across the yard.”
My facial expressions kept under control, I glance across the yard. Just my luck, a tan cat scurried up the neighbors porch; I’m saved.
Wonderful rhyme about the circus and the hilarious blunders that happen there. This really caught my attention as it was tailored just right for this contest yet you wrote it long ago. Very good coincidence! I loved this, the syllabic value, the content, and the coedic value were all great! Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Fav Part:
"Everyone turned to look at me.
And much to my surprise,
In front of me was an elephant
One hundred times my size.
I looked up at the elephant
And yelled out loud, "Oh, no!"
I wished I'd never gone there
'Cause he was standing on my toe"
Absolutely hilarious and entertaining story about an experience you had. This one had me rolling like Jay Leno's "headlines." The littlest typo's sometimes can bring us to tears in laughter. Very creative piece you have, and the punchline had me in tears. Poor Woman!
Fav Part:
"I will always remember this one shocking statement:
"Then she was moved to Martha And Mary Funeral Home when her health failed."
Having lived in the area for over twenty years, I am sure it was meant to read:
Great poem about friendship and making ones insecurity tun to love within and stability. Great words that compose a wonderfu; message! I really loved the warmth put in here as we all have "insecure" times and need our true caring friends to let us know where we are werong in our heads. Your friend is very lucky to have you.
Fav Part:
"I continued to watch the metamorphosis in awe as bit by bit, my alter ego was revealed. Finally, I saw what it was Kira wanted me to see. From that moment, I realized what she had been trying to make me understand for the past five years. We were one, not two sisters trapped in one body, nor were we two alter egos vying for positions of power in one case of flesh. I was Kira and she was me"
Although this wasnt about an animal or a circus, you had me laughing with this one! I actually envisioned it happening as I was reading your story. I believe you have a highly animated and comical piece here. I had two favorite parts. The second was when the men in the woods laughed at Beth from behind. What an embarrassing but hilarious circumstance that could happen to anyone. Good luck in the contest! Thank you for sharing!
Fav Part:
"With panties and shorts hugging her ankles, Beth rolled like a ball
until she finally came to rest...directly on a fire-ants’ mound .
Beth commenced to hopping, brushing ants away, swearing – all
with her derriere exposed. "
Great poem about the circus and being an outcasted child. I enjoyed how lighthearted you made it and I thought the humor was cute and subtle. Great job with the flow too. It made for an extremely easy read! I enjoyed the waty this came together so well and I give it a 4.5 for creativity and giggles. Good luck in the contest!
Fav Part:
"A frown had formed upon my face
I do not like my school at all
I think I’ll join the circus this Fall
I’ll be a clown with great big feet
Swing in the sky on the highest trapeze
Jump motorcycles through rings of fire
Or teach new tricks to the lions and tigers."
Thank you SW!!! You are so sweet to have written this! It's like you know me so well. Your words are the best. They evoked much emotion in me, and while I was reading, I knew what you were saying. Thank you so much for that. Thank you for being here and being the deepest firend a girl could ask for! You wrote this beautifully! Dont edit it okay? lol. I love it just the way it is! Kinda like you!
Fav Part:
"But you, dear friend,
are so much more
than flesh and bone,
or loss and love.
There is no mold
from which they made
your spirit, your mind, your
resilient soul. What they see,
they cannot hold, for you’ve already
broken the mold. Go forth"
That almost knocked me off my feet! Hugest Hugs to you!! Email me!! Always,
Anna
Great inspirational poem about educating man to be more compassionate, moral, and ethical. This is very powerful and absolutely amazing. The truths in this write is that of many. Brilliantly written and teaches people what's really important.
Fav Part:
"A good man possesses wisdom;
He speaks the truth, and backs up his words with appropriate actions.
He is keenly aware of the consequences of his decisions
And always seeks to reward the good endeavors of others. "
Perfect message to your little one. I was captured by this piece to say the least. The content was bold, clear, and held a high sigificant value to any parent wishing their child to be strong and make it through the tough times. Thank you very much for sharing this!
Fav Part:
"Go forth, my son, and conquer
the fear and doubt you own.
Inside you dwells a spirit
more alive than blood and bone."
Astounding write about how people out of blame and shame in emotion can really knock someone to the ground and forever damage them. Very empowering message for the future generation to know that being rude and ugly only kills innocence. Innocence that is just as meaningful to one as it is to the other. I really enjoyed reading this. Something everyone should think about. Great job!!
Fav Part:
"one invitation to play, one neglected impulse to strike or belittle,
could have changed history, saved lives, saved her baby.
SWPoet
May we treat violence, at any age, seriously and not stand perplexed after the fact, wondering why we didn't see it coming."
I loved this sweet and hopeful poem. I enjoyed the simplicity of it and the mere message of faith in love it displays. I saw a few grammar errors, but I don't judge on that basis, as they are minor. You have a really nice write here! Thank you for sharing it!
Fav Part:
"Im still on my own,
but there on my bed.
Was my founded prince,
with arms widely spread."
I enjoyed your tribute to one of my favorite sports, that I can actually do. All I can do, as a matter of fact, are weird sports others cannot...lol. I will srr that as a good quirk in agility. I love how deeply you wrote about bwling...It was really intensified...yet ..try bwling and singing....a rush that can't be denied!
Fav Part:
"Bowling has its "safe crackers" -
Players who get the combination,
Of strikes and spares, while other slackers
Like to show off with curve and elation..."
What a wonderful tribute to your car. I really like this prompt it is unique and original. I enjoyed your write it was filled with your love and joy for your vehicle. I was also fond of your vivid description of all the accessories and interior. Thank you for sharing this with me and all of WDC.
Fav Part: "Last December, at first she fought against the indignity of wearing antlers and a big red nose. Once she got used to people grinning when we drove by, I swear the antlers stood up higher and higher each day. She didn’t even complain when a little boy came over in the Safeway parking lot to pat her nose. "
Good poem about love and your heart's desire..I know you wanted me to review your latest piece, so here I am! This was extremely strong and emotional, the words were like butter melting a heart away. What a lucky perosn you have written this for!
Fav Part:
"So now that the dreaded minute is past . . .
The elation soon come flooding back.
And now our journey's will take flight.
Only will we have to pause . . .
For just one minute of dwelling confusion. "
What a heart filled masterpiece. I enjoyed the emotion you were able to instill in the readers mind. This was accomplished by your choice of vocabulary and the even flow of the write. I really liked your unwillingness to give up. Thank you for sharing this with me and all of us here at WDC.
Fav Part: "We shared both castles and cabins,
we saw rain and sky,
black bears huddled in fake rock cages,
and fake leopards hugging rocky thighs.
We smiled at one
and quietly laughed at the other.
Together."
Keep it up!
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