Riot's (riot) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

1,559 Public Reviews Given

2,107 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

My reviews typically cover: initial responses, technicalities and mechanics, favorite parts, areas of improvement, and overall impression.

I'm good at...

Honesty, and finding what works versus what doesn't work. I will never give you a rating I don't think your work deserves. I am also particularly good at spotting grammatical errors and typos.

Favorite Genres

Philosophy, Steampunk, Horror, Dark, Emotional, Science Fiction, Technology, and Political Science. I'm sure there are more that I'm missing.

Least Favorite Genres

Romance, Western, Religious, and anything froufrou.

I will not review...

Chapters and Novels, unless arrangements are made prior.

451

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3099693

Review of Men in Black

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Men in Black"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: It reminds me too much of the movie, unfortunately.

Style & Voice: I like how you designed this flash story.

Scene/Setting: Not very in depth here, but we're talking in a scene that's 500 words and I don't think you could've pulled it off any better.

Technical: I could find nothing wrong with this piece.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was pretty good. Thanks for sharing this with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

452

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3099687

Review of Stargazing

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Stargazing"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title. It gets me wondering what you're going to talk about.

Style & Voice: For a 55 worder story, you've done a great job with style. I often find these are very difficult to do.

Technical: I could find nothing wrong with this, grammar or spelling. Excellent job. I wouldn't change anything.

Overall Opinion: I often times feel like 55 worders are a real hit or miss. I think you did a really good job with this one! It made me smile.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

453

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3099675

Review of The Last Fairytale

Review by Riot

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Last Fairytale"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title got me curious as to what the poem was about. I wasn't disappointed.

Style/Imagery: I like the descriptions of everything around you, from the clouds, the rain, and all the colors.

Word Choice: Some words that struck me: earth-rough, corporeal, questing heart, and fairytale restart.

Structure and Form: My only criticism for this is to perhaps add some punctuation to it and possibly capitalize some of the lines. Otherwise, I can find nothing wrong with this.

Overall: Thank you for sharing this with us, I enjoyed the read. Keep up the great work, and welcome to WDC!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

454

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14 days may be credited.

#3099663

Review of CHRIST!

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "CHRIST!"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but I think you could kill the caps.

Style/Imagery: These powerful words truly fill me with hope. Very good job.

Word Choice: I think you did a great job with word choice here. I like how you put them together and made it sound... whimsical even. Kiss of spring, winter's cruelest frost, and cold and bitterness.

Overall: Great bite-sized poem! I can't see any room for improvement other than to expand it, which would of course disqualify you from the contest.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

455

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14 days may be credited.

#3099646

Review of A typical family?

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "A typical family?"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I don't think I really care for the title. I would shorten it and make it more title-like. Maybe Family Reunion (although overplayed) or Typical Family? even.

Style/Imagery: In just a few short words you've told me all about your whole family. Way to go.

Word Choice: I loved the wording and think you did a great job with it.

Structure and Form: Every thing is great. My only one suggestion is that the very last line seemed like it was one syllable too short. Maybe it could be: This is out annual family reunion. Even still, it was a great poem, and that didn't detract from it.

Overall: Overall, I thought this was great. Thanks for sharing it with us!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

456

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#3099532

Review of My Family Reunion

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "My Family Reunion"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: As I've said to the others who entered this contest; I think the title could be more creative.

Style/Imagery: Haha, interesting imagery here. Sort of humorous, too!

Word Choice: I like how you described your family reunion. It wasn't all fluff and lovies like the others I've read so far.

Structure and Form: I like the rhyme, not sure if it was intentional. If it was, you may want to look at the second (and last) stanza again. yelling / given / leaving

Overall: An amusing read. Thanks for sharing!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

457

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#3099153

Review of Turkish Coffee - Excerpt

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Turkish Coffee - Excerpt"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Hehe, I like the title.

Style/Imagery: I felt like I was drinking this coffee with you, tea style maybe.

Word Choice: Great imagery. I could see the ivory cup, and I felt like I was getting ready to take a big old sip. Good thing I had my Starbucks here!

Structure and Form: I liked the light rhyming, you were spot on with it!

Overall: Overall, I highly enjoyed this read. Thanks for sharing it with us! I look forward to reading more of your work and raiding your port soon.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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458

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#3099152

Review of Just one more time...

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry " Just one more time..."

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Great title, but needs proper capitalization.

Style/Imagery: I love the style of this. I especially like how you've split the descriptive parts into red, and how those are always the second line. Great job.

Word Choice: All your red words struck me, as I'm sure they were intended.

Overall: I can find no room for improvement, I think it's perfect. Great job, and thank you for sharing this with us. Keep up the good work.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

459

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#3099127

Review of Living With Mom

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Living With Mom"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: The title's appropriate to the poem/dialogue.

Style & Voice: I like how you presented this. I don't think anybody else has tried to mix poetry and dialogue. Even without the quotes, as you say, it's clear it is.

Characters: I wonder how many mothers (or wives for that matter) feel this way.

Technical: I couldn't find anything wrong with this, technically.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt this was a pretty amusing read. One thing though -- your bitem didn't actually go through properly on the page, but I hunted it down anyways. I look forward to more of your entries to this contest!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

460

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14 days may be credited.

#3098978

Review of Under Celine

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Under Celine"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: This title's perfect.

Style/Imagery: You have some great style going on here. I liked how you narrated this. It almost felt like an 'old-school' type poem.

Word Choice: The word choice here was superb.

Structure and Form: I couldn't find anything wrong with this. Though I wonder, would punctuation at the end of the lines help at all? They're not needed, it doesn't detract from the poem. I am just curious.

Overall: Great job on this. You took 8 lines and really made me smile. :)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

461

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14 days may be credited.

#3098928

Review of Lost At Sea

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Lost At Sea"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title.

Style & Voice: I really like your style here. I think the italics were a good choice! It depicts the eerie voice of death well.

Scene/Setting: While you didn't describe the ocean in depth, I felt like I was floating around with you hanging on to the last thread of life.

Technical: The only thing I have to say is that maybe you could split this up in to multiple lines. I'm unsure though, because it seems like it works just fine as one paragraph.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I felt you did a really good job. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

462

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14 days may be credited.

#3098851

Review of On Patrol

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "On Patrol"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: This title makes me wonder what you could say about being on patrol. In 55 words!

Style & Voice: I love the dialogue. I really think dialogue is the key to these short 55 worders. You did a great job with it.

Characters: The ending made me laugh out loud. I could almost see the rookie being so disappointed over something so small, as opposed to all the violence they see daily.

Technical: I think it was all pretty good. At the end, maybe with the start of sentence three in the last paragraph, put it on a new line. Otherwise, I couldn't find anything else wrong with it.

Overall Opinion: This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for sharing it, and brightening up my rotten day. :)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

463

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14 days may be credited.

#3098841

Review of 55 Word Story {Winter Forest}

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "55 Word Story {Winter Forest}"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I love the title.

Style & Voice: I like how you told this short story. These 55 word contests are pretty tough to do, believe me I've tried. I especially like that you only focused on the bunny.

Technical: I couldn't find any errors grammatically or spelling-wise. However, at the end, I think you could have just italicized 'thud' instead of encasing it in quotes.

Overall Opinion: Great story, I really enjoyed the read.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

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Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

464

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14 days may be credited.

#3098824

Review of Conception

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Conception "

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: Nice title. I wondered how you were going to twist this around. I know of your previous 55 worders. ;)

Style & Voice: Great style, as always.

Technical: I can't find any room for improvement. As usual, your dialogue is really excellent. I feel it really adds to these short stories you do.

Overall Opinion: Don't change a thing, I think this is perfect the way it is!

(I'm going to stop reviewing now, I have a phone call. Be back in a few minutes!)

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

465

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#3098821

Review of Welcome to Earth

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Welcome to Earth"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: Great title. It got me interested in what it's all about. Who was coming to earth? Were they friendly? Hostile? Something else? (Definitely have the taste of hostility personally, lately.)

Style & Voice: The ending was hilarious. It was definitely not what I expected!

Scene/Setting: Great scene. I can't find any places to improve upon this. You did well with this 55 worder.

Overall Opinion: Don't change a thing! It's hilarious how it is. Great job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

466

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#3098816

Review of A Woman Scorned

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "A Woman Scorned"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I think this title's fitting to this short piece.

Style & Voice: You raise a lot of valid questions. I felt like I could sympathize with your character.

Scene/Setting: While it wasn't implied, I felt like I was sitting in a stuffy court-room awaiting a trail. Wow, reminds me of a recent email I got. I gotta stop 'cheating' on my reviews!

Technical: I couldn't find anything technically wrong with this.

Overall Opinion: I can't find any room for improvement, great job!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

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467

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14 days may be credited.

#3098381

Review of My shooting star

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "My shooting star"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: I like the title, but it needs proper capitalization. My Shooting Star

Style/Imagery: I love shooting stars. This reminded me of how I used to sit in the street (it was a dead end street) at my mom's place and watch stars for hours and hours.

Word Choice: Great job here.

Structure and Form: The dashes could use without. I think your poem is strong without them. I might consider putting in different punctuation at the end of the lines, and perhaps capitalizing others.

Overall: Overall I felt this was a really good piece. Thank you for sharing it and bringing back fond memories for me.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

468

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#3098370

Review of One More Important Call, Down the Toilet

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "One More Important Call, Down the Toilet"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Tldr; just kidding. It is a bit long though.

Style/Imagery: Oh jeesh, funny! I laughed out loud at this.

Word Choice: Great! Spot on. I loved that it was all dialogue, too.

Structure and Form: Only minor thing I spotted, there should be a comma...
fumbled with it, then... splash!

Overall: This is great! Thank you for making me laugh so hard this early (late) in the morning. It's perfect!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

469

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14 days may be credited.

#3098369

Review of The Date

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The Date"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: It is what it is. ;)

Style/Imagery: Interesting imagery, from a man's point of view.

Structure and Form: I couldn't find anything wrong, technically. The only thing I can think of is to kill the triple dot break in the second paragraph.

Overall: It could be the time of night, but I feel like I was missing out on some sort of joke. Saleswoman?

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

470

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14 days may be credited.

#3098367

Review of Mandy's Secret

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (3.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Mandy's Secret"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Hmm... wonder what her secret is...?

Word Choice: I thought the words were alright. Nothing particularly caught my interested though.

Structure and Form: The only comment I have, is to watch out on your commas and periods. You have them a bit mixed up.

secret.

Please.

Fine,

Yup,

Overall: Overall, I thought this was an okay read. 55 worders are really tough. Props for trying, and actually having it make sense!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

471

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14 days may be credited.

#3098358

Review of The lair

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "The lair"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: The title seems fitting, but should be properly capitalized. The Lair.

Style/Imagery: Ewww, creepy! The imagery is definitely twisted. I LOVE.

Word Choice: I like your word choices here. Some that struck me in particular: twisted smile, dread shackled him to the chair, and writhed in agony. You can't go wrong with the last one.

Structure and Form: All's good. Except one tiny little comma missing after the dialogue. And, the spelling error. immunisations

should be immunizations

Overall: Overall, I thought this was a pretty amusing read. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

472

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098355

Review of Out of Control

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Out of Control"

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title: Good title, but kill the caps. ;)

Style/Imagery: I like the imagery and style here.

Word Choice: I loved the way you described the blood in the first sentence, great job.

Structure and Form: I could find nothing technically out of place with this piece.

Overall: Haha! I wasn't expecting that ending. That was really a hoot! Don't change a thing about this, it's perfect in its entirety.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

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I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

473

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098347

Review of Game 7

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Game 7"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I like the title, but I think you should spell out 7. Game Seven? Maybe?

Style & Voice: It almost sounded like you were announcing this on a radio, or something.

Scene/Setting: Not really applicable, though I think the 'scene' was told pretty well.

Technical: I could find no errors, though I think what may have helped flesh this 55 worder out was by breaking up the sentences a little better.

Overall Opinion: Overall, I thought you did a pretty good job with this. 55 worders are really tough!

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

474

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098345

Review of Closed Track

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Closed Track"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I don't mind the title, but I think you ought to kill the caps lock on it.

Style & Voice: I liked the imagery and style in this piece. Creepy!

Technical: I could find nothing technically wrong with this. I think it's a good 55 worder.

Overall Opinion: These are really hard to write. I think you did a pretty good job! Keep up the great work.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!

475

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3098343

Review of Elissa

Review by Riot

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, I'm Justine, known here as Riot

. This review is in response to your entry "Elissa"

.

Please note that this is just a review and my personal opinion of what I read. It is not intended to be rude, hurtful, or in any way discouraging. Like all free advice you can take it or leave it as you please.

Title/Plot: I don't like titles where it's the name of the character or characters in the story. Just my thing.

Style & Voice: I thought it was descriptive, but I didn't really get a good feel. It's a 55 worder, though.

Scene/Setting: The scenery was well described, as well as it could be.

Technical: There was nothing technically I could find wrong with this piece.

Overall Opinion: These are very hard to write, thank you for posting it.

I hope this review has been helpful in some way. Feel free to drop by my port sometime and sign "Invalid Item"

!

Also, check out my new and hot store, "Invalid Item"

, and pick up your new signature/cnote/gift today!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I am part of the "Invalid Item" , June 15th through the 21st!

Review submitted by a Proud Sunshine Reviewer for "Invalid Item" !!