I'm Ace Corona and this is a Simply Positive review. I'm assuming that this poem was written to the father of the boy, and this father is deceased. I didn't catch that the first time I read this poem, but after reading through several times I figured it out. If I'm right, then it's really sad that this happened. It's nice of you to take the time to write this poem and share your grief with the world. We here at Writing.com are very supportive of each other's losses and victories. I wish you the best, and by the way, I like the purple shirt he's wearing, it looks cool!
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. Please don't take my review personally, I'm not good at interpreting poetry, but I'll do my best. I'm familiar with fire being used as a metaphor for desire or love, and you did a nice job using that theme in your poem. The ending struck me as kind of funny, because the character is so hurt but he keeps trying to reach out to the one he loves, in spite of the pain. Good job!
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Postive review. I'm not a very good interpreter of poetry, so I had trouble deciphering what yours means. I assume it is a metaphor for living life here on Earth. I noticed that in the fourth paragraph you wrote "could of chosen" and I remember from taking English in College that this version is incorrect; it is a common mistake. It should be written as: "could have chosen" and it would be correct.
I'm Ace Corona and this is a Simply Positive review. This review reflects my own personal opinions, so please don't be offended. I don't always understand poetry, and yours I must admit was a little difficult for me. I assume it has something to do with someone who has a drinking problem, and that you used metaphors to describe it. I'm not always good at interpreting metaphorical terms, but that's the best I can do. My suggestion would be to make your metaphors a little more obvious for those of us who don't "get" poetry.
I'm Ace Corona and this is a Simply Positive review. I think you did a beautiful job conveying the facts about this volcano into a poem that somewhat rhymes. You successfully gave the feeling of fear local residents have near the volcano. I think you could add to the poem and explain to readers why you choose to remain in such a potentially dangerous environment. Were your ancestors raised in that area? Are you a landowner with property you can't sell? If so, why did you buy land in such a dangerous location to begin with? I would look forward to reading an edited version of this peom where you answered that question, or another poem or essay where you describe why you live there.
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. This review reflects my personal opinions, so please don't be offended. I think it's sad that the officer lost his job, but I feel that the teacher who was a pacifist deserved to have the right to his opinion. I feel that both men are heroes, in their own way. My dad was in the Marines, so I'm partial to people with a military background, but at the same time, I can understand why people feel that we didn't belong in Iraq.
I'm Ace Corona and this is a Simply Positive review. I definitely sympathize with you, I hate hot weather, too. I think you really captured the feeling of dislike for this kind of weather with your poem. I live in a moderate area of California where it doesn't get too hot or too cold, but last year we had a heatwave in June where it got to be around 110 degrees. Where I live, that kind of weather is very rare. I don't know how you can handle it in Texas!
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. I'm glad you chose a dog as your animal of choice, because I really love dogs. In your brief poem you were able to convey the emotions a dog feels toward its master. I thought the part about knocking stuff off the coffee table with his tail was funny. You did a great job!
This is Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. First off, I want to point out some errors. In the second paragraph you spelled adrenaline without an "e" at the end. In the final paragraph you have "hero's" and you need to drop the apostrophe. Also, in the last paragraph you misspelled the word personnel.
Now on to the review. I like the message of this article, showing what it takes to be a police officer. When you referred to wrongdoers as the devil's children, it made me want to change my ways. I definitely wouldn't want to be one of them. My dad was in the Marine Corps. so he would agree with everything you said in this article. Good job!
This is Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. First off, I want to point out some errors. In the first paragraph, you say a young "women" tapped her instrument panel. Women should be changed to woman, because it's a single person you're talking about, and not a group of them. Also in the first paragraph, it says "sounded like a group people having an argument." The word "of" should be placed within that sentence between group and people.
In the second paragraph, it looks like you used two spaces instead of one in beteen the words "I'm" and "hearing"
In the third paragraph, it says, "something has happened that I though could happen only in fantasy stories." The word "though" should be changed to "thought."
In paragraph eight, one of the whales says, "there are some out there that are tying to help" The word "tying" is misspelled and should be changed to "trying."
In paragraph nine it says "They are far too few of them" this should be changed to "There are far too few of them"
In paragraph ten, it says, "some care more then others" The word "then" should be changed to "than." In that same paragraph, it says "Their voices became more faint as the moved away from the vessels startled occupants." This could be changed to: "Their voices became more faint as they moved away from the vessel's startled occupants." The word "the" should be changed to "they" between the words "as" and "moved." Also, you could put an apostrophe before the "s" in "vessels."
I'm only going to knock off a small amount for your spelling errors, because it can happen to the best of us. I like the message of your story, about how our actions affects the lives of animals in the oceans. It was a good read, and entertaining!
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. Thank you for blowing the lid off this kind of scandal. I have a mental illness, and I've seen staff members at a board and care home I once lived in act inappropriately, so your testimony doesn't surprise me. It seems that the system is slanted in favor of the abusive staff members, at least that's been my personal experience. Maybe people who read your story will have their eyes opened by this.
I'm Ace Corona, and this is a Simply Positive review. I love how you use the phoenix as a metaphor to describe changing your life by jumping into a vehicle and traveling across the country. I'm sure most of us can relate to making a choice in our life like that, going from what we're familiar with to something unknown. I'm 38, and later this year I'm moving from the area where I've lived since I was 15 to move with relatives in the Los Angeles area. My life will also be like a phoenix, because I may never return to this area where I'm so familiar. Also, I love the image you have that accompanies the poem. You did an outstanding job!
I don't really understand poetry most of the time, but this poem seemed to be about your love for books. You described your passion so well. The type of poems I like are the rhyming kind, but this kind are interesting too, if I can get a feel for what the author is trying to express, which you did so well.
For anyone in love with someone, this love poem is something we can relate to. I like this poem because of the subject, namely, love. I'm in love with someone right now, and this poem made me think of her. The theme of this poem seemed to be spending forever with the person you love, and I think that's a great theme for a love poem.
The first two lines made me visualize an idyllic spot in Italy, even though I've never been there. I could visualize the gem in my mind as you described it. Some poems are difficult to interpret, but the symbolic words you used helped me to understand what you meant. Good job!
I like the fact that you took the position of the believer, and not the atheist. It is very difficult to prove the existence of God, but I'm sure that some day, maybe not in our lifetime, scientists will unlock the mystery of that aspect of the universe.
Life lessons from a grandmother are valuable to us younger people, because you have lived a long life and know of the mistakes we have yet to make. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. In one sentence you have the words "Let go and let God," and I'm not sure if that is capitalized correctly. You could leave it like that and put quotation marks around it, or capitalize each word in the phrase. If I'm mistaken, I apologize.
The first paragraph seems to be a compilation of two paragraphs. I think it should be separated into two paragraphs with a space in between them. Close to the end of the story, it seems unclear who the man walking through the door is. Is it the maniac who is narrating, or is it perhaps the father of the two tied up girls? I had to re-read it a second time to be sure I didn't miss something.
All in all, it is a good view into the mind of a killer.
---Ace
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