Plot and Content: This was an honest account of a parent of a child with mental illness. I think you did a good job of conveying the mixed feelings an adoptive parent has when they adopt a child with a disability.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any spelling, grammar or punctuation errors, but you might want to include what diagnosis your daughter has, so we can be familair with her disorder.
What I liked: I liked the honesty of the author, and it seems to be consistent with what family members of people with mental illness go through.
Plot and Content: This was a decent poem that you put a lot of heart into. I noticed that this poem was for your mother. If she passwed away, I'm sorry to hear that.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any errors.
What I liked: I like how you seem to be looking through time while looking at these flowers. I like how you mentioned another summer in a year you can't remember. Summer is my favorite season, and you made that summer sound mystical.
Plot and Content: True stories like these are always more interesting than fiction. You did a good job of recalling the little details of your childhood.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any errors.
What I liked: I liked the fact that these were true recollections from your memories. I was born in 1971, so it's interesting to read of things that happened a generation before I was born. My parents were born in the 1940s, just like you.
Plot and Content: You really nailed the concept of winter with this poem, I like how your words came together to create a mood. You took a lot of the elements of winter and brought them together, I could visualize in my mind the scene you were describing.
Errors/Suggestions: I noticed no spelling, grammar or punctuation errors.
What I liked: I like the fact that this poem is perfect for this time of year. I used the random function to pick this item, so it's an amazing coincidence that I got this item just in time for winter this year, considering that you wrote this poem in 2006. I also like that you mentioned spring, giving a sense of hope for the cold weather to end in the not too distant future.
Plot and Content: This was an interesting poem about heading west. At first, I hoped it was about hitch-hiking cross-country, but driving can be exciting, too.
Errors/Suggestions: When the woman claims her chocolate from the vending machine, it says: "she turns a finds my eyes grinning at her." I think "a" should be changed to "and."
At first, your protagonist gets a chocolate candy bar, but a moment later, he claims a soda. I think you need a better transition if he purchased both items, otherwise, it looks like you forgot about the candy bar and shifted into him buying the soda instead.
And now, a suggestion: I'm curious about where you were heading to, the most obvious place is California, but where in California? If you were heading to Hollywood, I think you should add that to the poem, it would make it more exciting.
What I liked: I like poems about life on the road, the idea of coming out west to California from back east or the mid-west seems exciting to me.
Plot and Content: I like the idea of a poem about war, since my father was a United States Marine back in the 1960s. I wasn't able to join myself, because I have medical issues, but I'm hoping when I have sons that they join. I was a little disappointed that the message of your poem seems to be against going to war, but I won't let that affect how I rate your poem.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors.
What I liked: I liked how realistically you portrayed going to war; most people who want to join the military don't realize they might not come back alive, they just assume they'll be one of the survivors. Yout poem should make people realize that war can be deadly.
Plot and Content: This is an awesome poem, I'm glad to see that you're getting published. Congratulations!
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no errors of any kind, only brilliance!
What I liked: I like how you turned an ordinary busride into a contemplation of your destiny. I have pondered similar situations at times in my life, wondering if a chance meeting with a girl could've turned out differently if I had spoken with her, but never with this much creativity. Getting Zeus involved was a stroke of genius! I also like how you gave an explanation at the end of who the fates were for people who might not be familiar with them. I always tell people to do that when I review their poems, but it's nice to see that you took the initiative yourself without being prompted.
Plot and Content: This poem did a good job of showing how you feel about your grandmother. I think we can all relate to your feelings when we lose our own grandmother. I'm 38 and I lost my grandmother when I was 20, but this poem reminded me of how I felt when she died.
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no errors.
What I liked: This poem reminds me of how I felt when my grandmother died when I was 20 years old. You did a good job of sharing your emotions with the reader.
Plot and Content: I think you did an outstanding job with this love poem, the metaphors you used were original (at least to me). I had to look up Cezanne, and I found out he was a painter.
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no errors, and I have no suggestions for improvement.
What I liked: I liked the bold lettering you used for the title, I always tell people to do that with their poems. I also like the note at the end where you tell what prompted you to write this poem. I like the metaphors you used, the magnet was a metaphor I've never seen used in a love poem before.
Plot and Content: I never knew you were a girl, I always thought you were a guy, so I learned something about you from this poem.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any errors.
What I liked: I liked the fact that your good qualities that were stressed were the fact that not only were you a good writer, but you were a prolific reviewer also; that's an important part of being a member of Writing.com, so you're seting a good example if any newbies read this poem.
Plot and Content: This was a good poem defining what poetry is. You really got right to the heart of the matter.
Errors/Suggestions: In the description, you misspelled the word rhythm.
What I liked: I like the way you described what poetry is. I agree with your opinion about it. I also think it's cool that you wrote a poem about poems; I don't recall ever seeing that done before.
Plot and Content: This was a good macabre poem, you really focused on the negative aspects of this thing we call life. I'm not good at interpreting poetry, but I think you were defining the meaning of life with this.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any errors.
What I liked: This kind of reminded me of something Edgar Allan Poe would write if he were alive today. Good job!
Plot and Content: I think you did an excellent job with this poem, it seems like it was done by a professional at a greeting card company.
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no errors.
What I liked: I liked how professional your poem seemed! I'm not a poem guy, so I couldn't write a poem this good in a million years. It always astounds me to see someone do such a goiod job on a poem like you have with this one!
Plot and Content: This was an excellent story with a surprise ending! I liked it!
Errors/Suggestions: I was suprised that such a long story had not even one error that I could detect! Usually, I'm able to spot a misspelled word or two in a story this long, but I didn't even see one in this story.
What I liked: I liked how realistic this story seemed. Your characters and the setting seemed very real! I felt like I was there! For that reason and the good surprise ending, you get five stars!
Plot and Content: It's nice to see a size-changing story. I write giantess stories myself, so it's nice to see a mainstream writer such as yourself trying to write a story like this. I think you did a good job!
Errors/Suggestions: It would've been nice to see him get swallowed by a woman, but that's just a suggestion based on my own personal preference.
What I liked: I like the references to European legends, like Merlin and King Arthur. It added a certain flair to the style of your story!
Plot and Content: Rarely have I read a poem so well put together as this one. I think you did a good job with the words in italics in between the actual lines of the poem.
Errors/Suggestions: I saw no errors.
What I liked: I like how you can take something as distasteful as rape and put it into a poem that draws attention to a serious issue without cheapening it or sensationalizing it. I think this is a high quality poem.
Plot and Content: I think you did a good job of using a metaphor of something that happened to you to describe your sorrow; it really conveyed the intensity of your emotions.
Errors/Suggestions: The only error I can see is that the first word of the poem isn't capitalized. I don't know if that's important or not with this type of poem, but I thought I'd mention it.
What I liked: I like the metaphor you used, it really gave credence to the feelings you were experiencing. I hope you feel better!
Plot and Content: I think it was a cool idea for you to create this group and this forum, so those of us who have concepts we're already working on can jump-start our projects and breathe life into them again.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't see any errors, and I can't think of any suggestions.
What I liked: I like the fact that we can work on ideas we already started, this is very unique, and I hope to do it every year during Nano!
Plot and Content: This was an eclectic group of poems, but I noticed some mistakes.
Errors/Suggestions: In the first poem, you misspelled organized. In the second poem, you wrote: "tat bloom all over" and I think you meant "that." You wrote: "Lutheren" but I think it's spelled Lutheran, and you wrote: "I'm from NE and mountais" and I think it's supposed to be "mountains." In the poem "Poetry is" you wrote: "Hidden iside rocks" and I think it's supposed to be "inside." That happened twice in that poem. In the poem "Silent night" you wrote: "the full moon comes out rom" I think it's supposed to be "from."
What I liked: I liked the last poem the best, the one about fiction!
Plot and Content: Really interesting story just in time for Halloween! It's really sad that innocent people were accused of witchcraft, whenever I read about the Salem witch trials, I feel glad to live in a time where people aren't superstitious.
Errors/Suggestions:In one paragraph you wrote: "Some of the townspeople had opposed to the trials," and that seems like an error. I don't know if you were quoting your source verbatim, but I thought I'd point it out.
What I liked: I like how meticulously you researched this! You really got in a lot of good quotes.
Plot and Content: This was a hilarious story, it's amazing how true stories are much more interesting than fiction. Thank you for sharing a private and embarrassing personal anecdote about your life.
Errors/Suggestions: I didn't see any errors. My only suggestion would be to add the decade this occurred, because as far as the reader knows, it could've happened in the 1950s or the 1980s. Personally, I was curious about when this happened.
What I liked: I liked the fact that this story was true!
Plot and Content: This was an interesting article about a modern day farmer living the life of his ancestors. It was interesting!
Errors/Suggestions: In the first paragraph, you misspelled fourth, you wrote it as "forth." You also forgot to put an apostrophe in the word fathers. In the fourth sentence, the word "My" should be separated by the preceding period by a space. In the second paragraph, it says: "Along with the old,there" you're missing a space between old and there. I don't think there should be a comma between the words long and fought.
What I liked: This was a good article that showed that farmers are still around and going strong, following in the footsteps of their ancestors. I'm glad to see you're doing well, and I wish you the best!
I'm looking forward to joining this group, I wrote a short story called "Megawoman & Goddess-Girl" and I would like to turn it into a screenplay. Nanowrimo is the perfect opportunity to do this, and I like your group because it allows those of us who have already started on our story to revamp it, and improve on it.
I have an idea for an original novel that I've had for almost ten years, and I thought about working on my new idea and my Megawoman idea simultaneously, but I decided to just work on the Megawoman story, so I don't get burned out. Thank you for creating this group for us!
---Ace
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