\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samuelorona/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/20
Review Requests: ON
1,808 Public Reviews Given
2,147 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 16 17 18 19 -20- 21 22 23 24 25 ... Next
476
476
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting short story full of drama, it's amazing that you could establish so much action in such a short story. You did a great job.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors, but I have a suggestion. I wasn't sure if the woman died while saving the child's life, hence the words "Angels toom me home." I know you probably don't want to change any words in your story because of the word count, but maybe you could provide a link at the bottom of the page and explain to your readers whether the woman survived or not.

What I liked: I liked the act of heroism of the woman saving the child, I like reading of things like that.
477
477
Review of "A Man Among Men"  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an excellent poem about a son's love for his father. You did a good job mentioning how brave and honest he was.

Errors/Suggestions: I think for the cadence to be better, the first line should be changed to: "He cast a long shadow wherever he walked" instead of "He cast a long shadow where he walked" Also, I think the cadence of this poem is off just a little bit. If you could adjust a word here or there, you might make it flow off the tongue a little better.

What I liked: I liked how you worked it into the poem that he served during World war Two. The men of that generation were truly brave and patriotic. My grandfather was a WW2 veteran, he served in the Marine Corps. Just out of curiosity, what branch did your father serve in?
478
478
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I was born in 1971, so I didn't live through the Kennedy assassination, so it's interesting to vicariously experience it through the eyes of someone who was alive at that time. My dad was born in 1943, so he is close to your age. I think Kennedy was a great president, he got us to the moon, and I have often pondered traveling back in time to try to stop Oswald on that fateful day.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how you took something tragic that happened in your lifetime and you did something positive and creative by writing a poem about it.
479
479
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a cute story of how you got your nickname. It's sometimes interesting how someone came up with a certain nickname.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors. It would be interesting to know how you did in the contest this story was entered into.

What I liked: I like your nickname, it sounds cool. True stories like this are more interesting than fiction.
480
480
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: I didn't understand what mental issues the female protagonist in your short story had, but it was entertaining and humorous to read the results of her bizarre behavior.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I thought it was funny that the woman in your story was smearing spaghetti sauce all over the walls, I really liked it and thought you had an interesting tale here. It's also amazing that you were able to write this with so few words, I know that is a difficult feat.
481
481
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was interesting, and I'm assuming it's a true story. It illustrates the five-year-old mind, and shows us a segment of a child's life that most of us can relate to.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors.

What I liked: I like how honest this story is in remembering what it was like being a kid, and how accurately that age is conveyed in the story.
482
482
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This is a cute story of two wild animals who were adopted by a nice woman and raised together.

Errors/Suggestions: I spotted this error in the first paragraph: the sun to be up i the air again. I spotted this mistake in the second paragraph: Th yarn I spotted this mistake in the final parageraph: uneven ground made t difficult to move quickly. Also, as a suggestion, you should introduce the two animal characters in a way so that the reader knows which one is the raccoon, and which one is the fox. I was kind of confused at first.

What I liked: I liked the life the animals lived while in the care of the woman who adopted them, because it was in sharp contrast to the struggle they went through during the storm that orphaned them.
483
483
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a cute story about someone with a young child. I have so many friends and family members with young kids that I can relate to this somewhat. This story was so realistic I wasn't sure if it was fiction or non-fiction, you did a good job, Leger!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors.

What I liked: I liked the innocence of the young two-year-old, I could picture something like this happening in real life.
484
484
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an informative essay with good advice, promoting ourselves is an important tool for getting recognized. I've followed some of the advice written here.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors, and although I tried I couldn't think of too many additional things you could mention, other than to link here from Deviantart for writers like myself who are also artists.

What I liked: I like the advice about getting business cards made up with our URL on it, I never thought of that! Very excellent advice.
485
485
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting true story of your struggle in life, and how you grew from it.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind, but you might want to list the symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis for those of us who are ignorant, so we can know more about it and learn what it's really like.

What I liked: I like the fact that you changed your outlook on life because of your experience. That correlates with the inner struggle that characters in screenplays are supposed to go through. Screenwriting books advise aspiring screenwriters to give characters an inner struggle, and to have those characters grow and learn throughout the story, so they have a different perspective at the end of the film than they had at the beginning. I think it's interesting that your struggle in life helped you to grow, learn, and change in a similar way.
486
486
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting story, describing a newbie who is just learning about Writing.com as if it were a real place where the WDC members were physically gathered together. This was very creative and very well done!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how you made Writing.com seem like something out of a Harry Potter novel. Great job!
487
487
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an honest account of an American's reaction to trying an Australian delicacy. It's kind of amazing to me that you can eat liver but you can't eat vegemite; I can't stand liver, so I probably wouldn't be able to stomach vegemite, either!

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how brave you were for trying vegemite, and I like how honest you were in admitting that you don't like it.
488
488
Review of Bike Riding  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a humorous account of your experience with bike riding after many years without riding, but I think you were a little bit hard on yourself. There are a lot of us who can relate to you. I'm 40 and overweight, so I can see things from your point of view.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I really liked the fact that you got out and exercised, you should do it more often!
489
489
Review of Before 8 November  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a well-written love poem, it really captured the feeling of two people in love. The cadence of the rhyming words was really nice.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like how you mentioned the different months starting with November, and ending with March. Mentioning March toward the end of the poem seems to give hope, since that is the month Spring starts.
490
490
Review of What's In a Name?  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: It was an interesting dilemma you presented, it's interesting to read about a problem I personally didn't endure, to see things from another perspective. I think you handled it well.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors.

What I liked: I'm glad there was a resolution to your problem, I'm glad you learned to accept your name.
491
491
Review of More About Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: Sherri, it's an honor to read something from your port! I agree with your view of life, I'm glad you're such a positive person. Your Simply Positive group has made a difference in the lives of everyone in this group.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: Follow your heart and reach for the stars is a good motto, do you mind if I adopt it from this day forward as my own personal motto? I'll never forget those words after doing this review, and I consider it an honor to be online friends with such a positive person as you!
492
492
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: You presented an interesting concept, freedom in exchange for an exceptional gift. The idea seems original to me, and interesting. I hope you are able to turn it into a novel.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors.

What I liked: I like the originality of your concept and I like how interesting it is!
493
493
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a sad tale of true love, I'm glad you found true love, but it's sad that he died. You expressed yourself well, the way you told of how he sent electricity through your body.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked how strongly you felt true love for your one and only. I hope a woman loves me that intensely some day!
494
494
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting poem about working in an office environment. I had a job in an office once, and some of what you wrote reminded me of that brief experience. It sounds like you really know what you're doing, and were able to write about it.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the positive message you wove into your poem, it was very encouraging.
495
495
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a decent little poem about the Joker. I liked the way you made it rhyme, and I'm glad it was about the Joker from DC comics, because I'm familiar with him. Usually I have a hard time with poetry, but yours was easy to understand.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't notice any technical errors.

What I liked: I liked the way you made this poem ryhme, those are my favorite poems.


496
496
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: You had an interesting life, being the last graduating class of the 20th century. I always marvel when I hear of someone who graduated high school, I dropped out, so it seems awesome to me when someone says they graduated. Congratulations to you!

Errors/Suggestions: In several places you mention that the year 2000 was the start of a new century and a new millennium, but you are wrong. The 21st century began on January 1st, 2001. The year 2000 was the last year of the 20th century. Think of it like this: the years one through one hundred were the first century; the second century didn't start on January 1st, 100, it started on January 1st, 101. By the same token, the year ending in two zeros in the last two digits of the year is always the last year of the century, the first year of a new century always starts with a one at the end. (You should edit this, and state that you were the last graduating class of the 20th century, and not the first graduating class of the 21st century.)

What I liked: I liked how you discovered you wanted to go to film school too late and had to go to community college instead; I recently changed my major in college and I will be an art major. I just wish I had discovered that sooner, so I can kind of relate to your situation.
497
497
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was funny, dogs can be interesting animals. I felt sorry for your other dog, it seems like she was bullied by the newer dog.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I liked the photos of the dogs, it helped to be able to see what they look like.
498
498
Review of Two Mimes  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was an interesting concept with a tragic surprise ending. You did a good job with this poem, I like how you made it rhyme and tell a story at the same time.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the twist in the story when we find out the truth about the mimes.
499
499
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a very well-written piece of fiction, you really seem to be able to express yourself gracefully.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors.

What I liked: The way you wrote with those eloquent words kind of reminded me of Edgar Allan Poe. Your writing style is kind of similar to his.
500
500
Review of The Brave  Open in new Window.
Review by Token-Jester Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1536286 Unavailable **

Plot and Content: This was a very patriotic poem of the sacrifices made by men and women who choose to serve in the armed forces. You went into some detail about the hardships they endure, and what the United States offers to other countries that are in need.

Errors/Suggestions: I didn't spot any technical errors of any kind.

What I liked: I like the way you wholeheartedly support our troops.
705 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 29 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/samuelorona/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/20