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Review Requests: ON
1,135 Public Reviews Given
1,136 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Not sure I have a style....I learn as much from you as you from me. I will point our typos, grammatical things if I see them. I love poetry and when it comes to stories, please nothing "dark"....not my thing.
I'm good at...
I will find typos, incomplete thought (unless I believe it is conducive to the poetry structure).
Favorite Genres
Romance, personal, periodicals with history, comical, stories about true life, children, animals, time travel
Least Favorite Genres
Dark, morbid, Sci-fi (except time travel)
I will not review...
Dark, morbid stories
Public Reviews
Previous ... 8 9 10 11 -12- 13 14 15 16 17 ... Next
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Review of Love is...  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
First, let me welcome you, newbie. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Your story of love is, is very touching as it does describe what we all want in true love. I would like some dialogue in there, but that is just me. Reading your story, it was almost to "rant". Maybe a little break in the tone, more of what your new love is and then go back to true love.
Contrast is the word I am looking for.

You have great ability is selecting words to identify your thoughts, so continue on with your writing.

Seabreeze



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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like your story because it grabed me and kept my interest (which is saying a lot as iam not that much of a fan of fiction). Your opening was super and pulled me along.

What it did, the story, was have me reflect on things. I thought of the old TV show Twilight Zone and the pig people. Not knowing your age, if you are not sure of it, you can find a clip in You Tube.

Your story is unique..do we elop it into chapters...

Thanks for the fun,
Seabreeze
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Review of Brushstrokes  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful poem. Your selection of words are "right on". Your 1st attempt, please attempt more. Seabreeze
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Review of Stalk Home  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Abaru,

Bubblegum Jones asked me if I would give Stalk Home a review and I decided I would. Let me say up front, I am not a big fiction fan, I write poetry and love stories about real people, so I will do my best. Here we go.

I feel you have a good story but my interest would not normally attract me to this type of story. There is a lot of narrative of "much to do about nothing", just not interesting to me. You describe the area well and set the stage. Your punctuation is good and grammatically, I could not find any faults.

Toward the end of the story, it got a little confusion to me...but maybe cause I lost interest. You may want to check the last paragraph for clarity.

Please take my review with a grain of salt as I mentioned, this story is not my cup of tea.

I wish you the best in your writings,

Seabreeze
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Review of Phantoms  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dave,

Very nice this post. I especially like what has been done with the photo and you have tied it all together well. Excellent format, phantoms - excellent title for this poem. I believe most of us can relate to hazy recollection, reflection of times past!

I enjoyed the read,

Seabreeze

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Review of Last Pictures  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
My first thoughts were...of course...she needs to get moving. After reading the whole story, I am, as many taken back! A great moral that says, "...spend more time with those you love and less complaining"!

It well written piece....

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Once upon a time there was a snake called Charley. Everyday, it seemed without a doubt, Charley would wonder about his pad, which was on the East side of Brookdale, in the upper side of Snake Valley. One day, many moons ago, Charley could not find his pet Cricket. Because of this, Charley put an ad in the paper "Lost, my friend Cricket" Please see Charley at Charley's pad in upper side of Snake Valley. Charley got lots of contacts and was about to go pickup Cricket, when Cricket showed up on his own. What a relief, now Charley would not have to pay anyone a reward. Not nice of Charley. Until finally, Cricket asked for the reward because he turned himself in.


Seabreeze
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Review of Just $29.95  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
OMG, what a story!!! Now, Iam not much for gore, but, this takes the cake! Great story. But, for some reason It brought back TV memories of:

https://youtu.be/Auvf7DDw5z0

More expensive, but I could not resist!

Thanks for the entertainment,

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks, excellent share!

I tried and arranged my in order.

Thanks,

Seabreeze
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Review of My Psalm  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Beautiful and welcomed this rainy, over casted day.
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for entry "Dawn SymphonyOpen in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi,

Just stopped by to say congrats on winning the 24 Syllables contest. Great entry!

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Star Cross Lovers is a poem of romance that pulls you in; you want to know what happens to this woman. The story is beautifully set again a star lite night; with lovely rhymes well placed. One reads this poem, gets all the beauty of poetic rhyme and a story of complete enticement. Maybe, also one can "live in the moment" of the romance and excitement!

I love it and no more can be said!

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Leger!

Such a cute story with a lot of mystery going on. When I was trying to visualize the little guy coming in to the bar, a saw him doing a little jig in my mind. I am Irish and well that is where my mind went.

Not sure about all of the language ( I assume made up?)....but sure is cute for the story.

I thank you could have a sequel, maybe with a bit more magic!

Best to you,

Seabreeze
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Review of Continuity Girl  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is excellent! If there were a first prize, you should receive it!

Thanks,
Seabreeze
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for entry "GibberishOpen in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ha, ha ... very cute, clever!

And, yes, it is all in our heads!

Thanks,

Seabreeze
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Review of BLUE PORK CHOPS  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Cute story! I must know where did the phrase: ‘hair-o’-the-dog’ come from. I am in my 70s and it is a new one for me! I loved the way you described the lake and your being transposed into a Degas masterpiece in the Louvre. It immediately made me want to go to an art museum, say the Getty in Los Angeles or the Norton Simon.

Thanks,
Seabreeze

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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi, Seabreeze here. I really appreciate that you took the time to make this entry and to
let us know what you are expecting and what you are writing. It is nice to know where
we can help place our time to best benefit you as well. Best blessings in your writings!

Thanks again,
Seabreeze
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Review of Little Dreamer  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very nice! I like it and it tells a story from the heart. I have a question regarding
the ending where you say, "I pray you will be known to life." If already born, not sure
what that means? I do not mean to be disrespectful but when I read it, it sounded as if
the baby had not been born.

Thank you and hope to see more of your writings!

Seabreeze
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Review of Tell Not A Soul.  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Sunnie,

This poem so resonates with me now, in my life's current situation. I am in my 70's, widowed 9 years this September and I wish I could tell some people some things!

I have some friends, one close person but if I talk to her about some of my real feelings I will offend her.

I do have my own living quarters, below my son, but I still feel lonely. My health is okay except for my IBS which can alter my day's activities...but I can tell here!

I write poetry but sometimes the feeling isn't there. I so appreciate rh8s site and the people to pull me out if my slump.

So I tip my hat to you and your wonderful poem. And thank you for all your writing that help us all when we fall down.

Seabreeze
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Review of What is Humanity  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, Melster - Very Nice! This in unique as I have not seen this format but I truly
like how you present the question of life! Not more to say except it resonates with me.

I also want to see, hello, newbie and welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here; it is
a wonderful place.

Seabreeze

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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, I thought I would give your story a review. Here we go:

I like the story and the detail of friendship that you have described. You have put your heart and soul into it and it comes through well. I see a few grammatical errors that I have pointed out below:

1. You can either say ... utterly captivated me but grammatically speaking you cannot say, orbs were utterly captivated me. The word "were" is not needed and doesn't sound correct. The word were is past tense, so it is not needed. If you were to speak of it in past tense then you would say, "... were utterly captivating.

2. In this sentence, "...assumed she would have been arrogant and looked down on us since she always had an air of superiority around her..." To say she would have been arrogant and looked down on us...does not sound appropriate. It should read, "...looked down on me." She is doing the looking and cannot look down on herself and you.

3. For this sentence: Her slender fingers would run down my back as she patted me gingerly on the back. If fingers are running down the back...who or what is "patting"? The two actions don't seem to go together, at least in my opinion. You would not pat and run fingers down the back at the same time? Maybe just me!

I find that writing is a combination of what we feel and what we have learned and we learn partly from what we do and say and, of course, what we read. If you are serious about writing, I suggest you read as much as you can. It will help you in organizing your thoughts and putting your word down.

If wish you the best in all that you do. This is an excellent site to learn from; keep it up!

Seabreeze



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Review of Run  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well done. It frighten me though as this morning I was looking at the damage in Nebraska from the flooding and your poem brought that back; people holding on to each other, running for their lives.
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi, just to let you know, you pics are not coming through.

Seabreeze
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Review of Turning Point  Open in new Window.
Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Very nice; I love the Sestina format and have written a couple myself (The Red Rose). It is fun
and relativity easy to so. Thanks for sharing.

Seabreeze
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Review by Seabreeze Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I loved this! Vitamin F probably better than any of the other vitamins....I am sure they dissolve better into our bodies and our souls!

great post,

Seabreeze
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