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OLDWARRIOR'S POETRY FOLDER

Want perfect poetry? THIS IS NOT THE PLACE. My simple poetry comes from my heart and soul.

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Alphabetical Conversation

Based on 90 second alphabet on "Whose Line is it Anyway"

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Separate Universe

A story of parallel lives

My favorite Disney movies

I will write about my 5 favourite Disney movies

Bee Free

Commissioned merit badge for CommuniBees.

Jots and Tittles and other Random Things

Just things that I think about now and then.

READ A NEWBIE

~Sojourn.

Embracing trials as catalysts for soul growth, inner transformation, and eternal freedom.

Carlo Dela Cruz

Bio I had ghost writer in me but no one told me back then I needed copy rights to my songs

The People Never existed

A girl returns home to find a stranger in her bed, no one believes her truth.

~Sojourn.

Embracing trials as catalysts for soul growth, inner transformation, and eternal freedom.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Hypnotic Journey

Ash goes on a journey with a unique Pokéflute. GP's for additions.

Matam-s Kanunay Ang Magpaubos

It Is Always Sweet To Be Humble..... One of Our Papa 's favorite Songs in Cebuano dialect

The Flower Forms No More

Getting a little personal while also celebrating the goddess for summer. Haiku

Gang Violence

Daily 6 / 20 / 2025 Mix all the colors you eventually get mustard. I am primary.

Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shelleya/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/11

ShelleyA~15 years at WDC

Review Requests: ON

4,636 Public Reviews Given

4,671 Total Reviews Given

Public Reviews

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251

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14 days may be credited.

#3657684

Review of haiku:SPRING GRASS

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello dogpack saving 4premium+

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "haiku:SPRING GRASS"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about nature that nurtures in the growth of this field of grass that is short, concise and succinct. A skillfully crafted Haiku. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the power of nature feeding its grass through spring rains that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of Nature as nurturer. Good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express how nature's care strengthens the grass and helps it grow strong through its rain.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of the power of Nature. Good alliteration, assonance and nice consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors. Just a suggestion to limit the use of filler words like 'the' - (for example line one could be something like this - green grass in vast field. Haiku paints a picture for the reader that peaks interest and emotion.

I especially like the following line(s):
"Nature waters with warm rain" - I really like this line and the sound it promotes when it is read aloud.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
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252

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14 days may be credited.

#3643156

Review of Sands of Time

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Legerdemain

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Sands of Time"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about the attributes of 'sand' without using it in your poem. Heartfelt, introspective observation of the contest prompt. Skillfully crafted free verse that is short, concise and succinct.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your senses (sight, touch), you paint a vivid picture of this type of soil that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of sand: it winks; mocks - good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; you express the beauty of these tiny granules that sparkle in the sunlight and the difficulty in holding on to it because of its nature.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"It slips through my dismayed fingers
No matter how tightly I cup my hands" - a powerful description of sand and how difficult it is to stem its flow.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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253

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14 days may be credited.

#3643145

Review of Hunting Bargains

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Harry

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Hunting Bargains"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about the art of bargain buying. A skillfully crafted free verse acrostic. Perfect form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the items that are bought at a estate sales, memories/treasures left behind because of the death of the owner now becomes a bargain for the buyer.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express very well the lost memories of the items to be sold in these sales powerfully in this piece.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Treasures of a lifetime
Are repeatedly handled," - very good description about the buyers seen at an estate sale.

Overall:

Good closing lines. Well penned and a good read. Write on.
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254

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14 days may be credited.

#3642781

Review of Meditation

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Prosperous Snow celebrating

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Meditation"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about letting your anxiety about your fears and gaining peace that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt and introspective. A skillfully crafted Than Bauk. Perfect syllabic form in its climbing rhyme.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Climbing rhyme: Perfect masculine rhyme is executed very well in this piece (peace, cease, release).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express the calm that comes from being released from your fears through meditation. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found

I especially like the following lines:
"My mind at peace,
Worries cease," - you express the power of peace beautifully in these lines.

Overall:

Good closing line. Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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255

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14 days may be credited.

#3642662

Review of A Ghostly Poem

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Maryann

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "A Ghostly Poem"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good fantasy write and story poem about two children who haunt a house and become part of the family. Heartfelt with an eerie surprise. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming couplets which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of this 'special house', its beauty and it's permanent guests who become a part of the family's daily life that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Not applicable.

~Rhyme:
Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. A nice mix of near perfect feminine and masculine end line that is executed very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line two (too, true).

~Tone:
Good depth of feeling; you are a fine storyteller. Lovely building of suspense in this poem. The love of the mother for her children and the ghostly wee ones whom she takes as her own shines brightly in this piece.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling that builds throughout the poem. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Very nice use of dialogue by the children and mother.

I especially like the following lines:
"The house sat in grandeur at the top of the hill.
Yet, an aura about it gave me a chill." - sets the tone of the story poem very well and is followed through to the end of the poem.

~Overall:
Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
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256

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14 days may be credited.

#3642582

Review of Art

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello oh my

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Art"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about a sculpture. Very clever and humorous. Skillfully crafted rhyme which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid scene that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Consistent meter and very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you have a great sense of humor with very good word play.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the 'subject' of this art. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following line(s):
"He barely moves a muscle, he has an iron will." - very good powerful description of the stance of this 'art'.

Overall:

Very good closing line. Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
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257

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#3642575

Review of Resolutions

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello 🌖 HuntersMoon

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Resolutions"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about resolutions that is short concise and succinct; a chestnut with very nice humor that is so true. A skillfully crafted Than Bauk, perfect climbing rhyme and syllabic form.

Imagery:

Not applicable.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Internal rhyme is good; perfect execution of masculine rhyme (past, cast, last).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express that the best of intentions don't always hold true... especially when making a resolution.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice assonance and good consonance. Spelling: line two - heartfelt is one word. No punctuation errors.

I especially like the following lines:
I like all the lines. The humor with punch line made me smile. Clever play on words.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

258

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14 days may be credited.

#3641986

Review of ~Velocity

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello staiNed

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "~Velocity"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write about raging emotions. Heartfelt and introspective. A well crafted free verse acrostic which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid pictures in the many sides of your emotions that are seen through the lens of your feelings.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Not applicable.

~Rhyme:
Nice internal rhyme in line two (eagerly, me).

~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express the power of your feelings as they run through you at high velocity.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the period at the end of lines one, three, five and seven. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Licking and loving my terrified soul.
Opening my heart to invade ever more." - powerful expression of the feelings that causes the fear that runs through you.

~Overall:
Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

259

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14 days may be credited.

#3641965

Review of Pieces of me

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Lonewolf

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Pieces of me"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write about yearning for love from this special person in your life. Heartfelt and introspective. Well crafted free verse.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your heart, you paint a vivid picture of unrequited love, of tears being shed because of this heartbreak that washes over you.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice personification of the heart - it "cries river for you": good descriptive/comparison.

~Rhyme:
Not applicable.

~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion. You express powerful feelings of love that is dark, passionate and sorrowful.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; strong use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Mend this broken heart with your love,
Stop this bleeding before the darkness takes me." - you express powerful emotion in these lines with the hope that she'll love you and mend your heart.

~Overall:
Well penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

260

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14 days may be credited.

#3639306

Review of BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Oldwarrior

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "BEHIND CLOSED DOORS"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about your life that is heartfelt, introspective and uplifting. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming couplets which I enjoy and that is short, concise and succinct.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your mind and heart, you paint a vivid picture of throwing away the bitterness of the old life as seen by closing those doors for good and seeking a new life through love that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice metaphor: "closed the door on yesterday, and thrown away the key" - a good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aa bb cc. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line two (me, free) and nice internal rhyme in line four (threw, new)

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. You express with power a new lease on life as you are free to enjoy life and love as you seek a better life of happiness. I can relate to these thoughts well.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the strong use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma in line two, it isn't needed and will make the flow and rhythm of the line even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"I’ve locked behind those bitter doors, a life of hurt and pain,
But since I threw away the key, I have new love to gain." - a beautiful statement of what you were able to change in your life that is deep with emotion giving you a new start in life and love.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

261

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14 days may be credited.

#3639300

Review of ONE DAY AN ANGEL

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello SHERRI GIBSON

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "ONE DAY AN ANGEL"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about what it would be life to be an angel. Heartfelt, introspective and precious. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a beautiful picture of an angel, bright and shiny, filled with love, joy and happiness that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Very nice use of simile: "stars shine like diamonds" and wings "shimmer like the moon and stars above" - good descriptive/comparisons.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbccddeeff. A nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; you express the beauty of love that shines from the heart and the longing to sit by your mother that is touching to my heart. Delightful.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the comma at the end of line one, change the period to a comma at the end of line three and change the period to a semi-colon at the end of line nine. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"One day I’ll be an angel, sitting by my mother.
I’ll know peace and happiness unlike any other." - a beautiful and powerful emotion expressed, driven by your love for your mother and the need to be once again by her side which will bring you peace and happiness.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

262

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14 days may be credited.

#3638643

Review of LED BY A STAR

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello SHERRI GIBSON

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Showering Acts of Joy Review"

I am reviewing your poem "LED BY A STAR"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your story poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write and rendering of the Christmas story and birth of our Lord. A festive presentation. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the night of our Lord's birth that any reader (child or adult) can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm/cadence. Nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of simile: "mother looked like a queen" - good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabb ccdd eeff gghh aaii. A nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. You express your faith in God beautifully in this story poem of the Savior's birth.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling about the birth of the King. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"The star lit up the night.
The angels sang with sheer delight." - a beautiful description of the song of angels proclaiming the birth of our Savior--the light of faith.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1829448 Unavailable **

263

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14 days may be credited.

#3638625

Review of In My Hands..

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello staiNed

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "In My Hands.."

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write about the power and feelings as seen in your hands that is heartfelt and introspective. A skillfully crafted free verse acrostic which I enjoy. Perfect form.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of feelings expressed through your hands that any reader can appreciate.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Nice personification of you hands - emotion filled; they seek and yearn - nice descriptive/comparisons.

~Rhyme:
Not applicable.

~Tone:
Deep expression of emotion; you express the intensity of your feelings with power in this piece.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feelings about how you 'see' your hands. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, strategically placed commas at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts and make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following line(s):
"Yearning for something that cannot be touched" powerful... something needed that can't be touched, yet your hand yearns for it.

~Overall:
Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

264

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#3634774

Review of Ain't she my kin

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello CREEK

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Rockin' Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Ain't she my kin"

for the "Gang's Monthly Review Board"

~Title:
A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

~Form/Style:
A good write and message about the many faces of nature and her affect upon those in her domain. Thought provoking. Skillfully crafted free verse which I enjoy.

~Imagery:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of nature, her power and care that any reader can appreciate.

~Flow/Rhythm:
Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

~Metaphor/Personification/Simile:
Very good personification of Nature, her sustenance of those in her domain.

~Rhyme:
Not applicable.

~Tone:
Good depth of feeling. You express how her being misused is slowly killing her and that we are the only ones who can stem the tide. Definitely a message that all of us should think about.

~Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:
Word choice is good; strong use of repetition and questions for emphasis of feeling about the 'personhood' of Nature. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Spelling: line one should be 'created'; line four should be 'hugs' and line eight should be 'quenches'.

I especially like the following line(s):
"Ain’t she the one who sustains us all, though she is dying, after all?" - powerful closing line which sums up just how important Nature is to those who live within her boundaries.

~Overall:
Well penned and a good read. Write on.

** Image ID #1797003 Unavailable **

265

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#3632137

Review of A Nursery Rhyme

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

"This is a School Daze Poetry Contest Review"

Hello Liam

. Good day to you.

I am reviewing your poem "A Nursery Rhyme"

Title:

Not applicable.

Form/Style:

A good write about Miss Muffet's wish for a new diet. I like the humor of the piece. Clever word play. Well crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of Miss Muffet as she tries a new diet, sharing it with her relations from other nursery rhyme characters.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good with a nice rhyme scheme. Every second/fourth line throughout poem is a nice mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed very well in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in line one of stanza one (Muffet, it); line three of stanza one (Mary, contrary); line one of stanza two (sham, lamb); line three of stanza two (full, wool); line one of stanza three (Muffet, it) and line three of stanza three (blind, find).

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; good use of irony.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Spelling: should be 'Muffet' in line one of stanza one and line one of stanza three. No punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"So little Miss Muffit told Mary to stuff it
And returned to the curds and whey." - Miss Muffet expresses her displeasure well in these lines.

Overall:

Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
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#3632130

Review of Nursery Rhyme Contest

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (3.5)

. Good day to you.

I am reviewing your poem "Nursery Rhyme Contest"

Title:

"The Pieman and Simon" - a good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A nice write about Simon's wish for dessert. Nicely crafted near rhyme poetry.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. You paint a picture of Simon as he hopes to get 'pie' from the man who sells it that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Nice use of rhyme and near rhyme.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. You express Simon's predicament of having no money to purchase 'sweets' from the pieman.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is nice as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good use of conversation in your poem. Nice alliteration, assonance and good consonance.

I especially like the following lines:
"So Simon turned his pockets out and said,
"too bad for me."" - Simon expresses his lack of money with vividness. Good closing lines.

Overall:

Nicely penned and a good read. Write on.
** Image ID #1639790 Unavailable **

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#3628006

Review of A New Arrival

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Rockin' Reviewers

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello ChuChuRocker

. Good day to you.

"This is an official Paper Doll Gang Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "A New Arrival"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about the love you have for your unborn child that is short, concise and succinct. Heartfelt and introspective. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your mind and heart, you paint a vivid picture of your love for your son before he was born that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbcc. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece. Nice internal rhyme in lines one and two (know, though); in line five (four, more, before) and line six (baby, we).

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. You express your love for your unborn son beautifully in this piece.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of your love for your son. Good alliteration, assonance and nice consonance. Spelling: in line one 'cannot' is one word. Punctuation: just a suggestion, to add a comma after too in line two and in line three change the period to a comma after dance. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"Every time I move, we dance. Our hearts the only beat.
Every time you kick, I laugh. Your touch is such a treat." - lovely expression of your joy and loving bond with your unborn child that is powerful.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1624812 Unavailable **

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#3626079

Review of Never Alone

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Grace

. Good day to you.

"This is a Rising Stars Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your lyrics "Never Alone"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the subject of your lyrics.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about trusting in God and in His strength when you are feeling low. Heartfelt and introspective. Well crafted lyrics.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye and heart you paint a picture of the storms in life that God will guide you through and that even in the dark, His light is there to carry you through.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice use of simile: you hear a whisper "it's like the wind" - very nice descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. Your faith in God shines beautifully in this song. Melodic.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; strong use of repetition for emphasis of feeling of God's power and character. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion, strategically placed commas at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following line(s):
"I'll always love you
I'll never leave you
I'll be there to guide you through this storm" - lovely expression of God's love for you. Powerful.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1388845 Unavailable **

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#3615437

Review of INSATIABLE

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: E

| (5.0)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello iluvhorses

. Good day to you.

This review helps me recruit a creature to bring damage against the Green Witch

I am reviewing your poem "INSATIABLE"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A very good write about what it means to be insatiable that is short, concise and succinct. Clever word play. A skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming acrostic that I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of the extremes of a person whose hungers are voracious.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Very nice rhythm and enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of hungers: they roar - good descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbccddee. A good mix of feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express the power of these hungers and cravings that can take over one's life because they are always in search of more.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"Seeking more
As hungers roar" - these lines define insatiable beautifully and powerfully.

Overall:

Well penned and a most enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1813270 Unavailable **

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#3615435

Review of Trust In Him

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Itchy Water~fictionandverse

. Good day to you.

This review helps me recruit a creature to bring damage against the Green Witch

I am reviewing your poem "Trust In Him"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write and message about God's love, grace and faithfulness to us. Heartfelt. Very nice concrete (shape) poem. A skillfully crafted blend of rhyme and free verse.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. You paint a picture of the Lord who gave His life for us, His gift to us of saving grace--His bride who forever trusts in Him.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm and use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme and rhyme scheme in first six lines is good; perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express your testimony of your love and faith in God very well in this poem.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice alliteration, assonance and consonance. Spelling: check line four - 'upon' is one word. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the commas at the end of line two and eight. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"I trust in His way,
for He has saved me." - you express your faith and trust in the Lord well in these lines.

Overall:

Well penned and an enjoyable read. Write on.
** Image ID #1813270 Unavailable **

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#3615426

Review of Friendship

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello geographyangel

. Good day to you.

This review helps me recruit a creature to bring damage against the Green Witch

I am reviewing your poem "Friendship"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write that defines true friendship; heartfelt and warm. A skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poem which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is nice as are the descriptives. You paint a good picture of friendship that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice metaphor: "pulling me through when the tide is high" - good descriptive/comparison of a friend helping you through troubles.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abbcddeff ghgh. A nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece (way,day; weak, seek; cry, high) and (sends, friends).

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling; you express what friendship means to you through good times and bad. I can relate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good as is the use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and nice consonance. No spelling errors. Punctuation: just a suggestion, strategically placed commas at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion. For example: place a comma at the end of line two and a semi-colon at the end of line three of your first stanza.

I especially like the following lines:
"Holding me up
When I am weak
Helping me find what I seek" - a beautiful description of a true friend that is powerful.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1813270 Unavailable **

272

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#3612440

Review of Caffeine

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with Rising Stars of WdC

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Helene - Missing being here!

. Good day to you.

"This is a Rising Stars Poetry Review"

I am reviewing your poem "Caffeine"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about a coffee connoisseur that is heartfelt and introspective. A skillfully crafted Senryu string. Perfect 5/7/5 syllabic form.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. You paint a vivid picture of your love for coffee from its scent and taste to how it makes you feel, morning or night that any reader can appreciate.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are well done. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice metaphor: "mouthfuls of velvet" - good descriptive/comparison, unique.

Rhyme:

Not applicable.

Tone:

Lovely depth of feeling. You express the power of coffee drinking and the well being it gives to you beautifully in this piece. Nice aha moment in line three of your first and second senryus.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Nice use of alliteration, good assonance and consonance. No spelling or punctuation errors found.

I especially like the following lines:
"warm liquid in porcelain
mouthfuls of velvet" - powerful and passionate expression of your love for coffee.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.
** Image ID #1388845 Unavailable **

273

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#3608797

Review of Witches

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: E

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Pammi

. Good day to you.

This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch

** Image ID #1819460 Unavailable **

I am reviewing your poem "Witches"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about witches and their evil spells through dark magic which defines their hideous character. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of your eye, you paint a vivid picture of witches as they weave their spells, in the dark of night and the fear they create in others that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: aabbcc ddeeff gghhii. Perfect masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling. Eerie and creepy. You express the darkness found within these witches and the fright they cast in the hearts of men.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the commas at the end of line one and three of the first verse; remove the comma at the end of line three in verse two and add a period to the end of line six in the second verse and remove the comma at the end of line three of the last verse. This will smooth out the rhythm and flow in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
With bony fingers that coil and twist,
to send their magic through the mist, - this captures the character and nuance of a witches enchantment and spell casting.

Overall:

Very good closing lines. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.

274

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#3608779

Review of Transformation

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello Karin Scholl

. Good day to you.

This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch

** Image ID #1819460 Unavailable **

I am reviewing your poem "Transformation"

Title:

A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write from the point of view of a human that transforms into a werewolf. Heartfelt and introspective. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming poetry which I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of the werewolf's eye, you paint a vivid picture of the life of a werewolf in the forest, hunting prey with his bloodlust that needs to be satiated that any reader can see in their mind's eye.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Very nice rhythm and nice use of enjambment.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Not applicable.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme: abcb defe ghih jklk mnon pqrq siti. Every second/fourth line through each stanza is a nice mix of perfect feminine and masculine end line rhyme that is executed with precision in this piece.

Tone:

Deep expression of emotion. You express your feelings of the life of a werewolf, of the hunt and being part of a pack with power very well in this piece.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition for emphasis of feeling of a werewolf's lot in life. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. Spelling: line two of stanza three, third word should be 'turned' and in line four, first word should be 'they'. Punctuation: just a suggestion, a strategically placed comma at natural pauses will give emphasis to your thoughts as well as make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion.

I especially like the following lines:
"anything gets in my way
they soon will be dead" - powerful feelings about being the hunter that loves to kill its prey.

Overall:

Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on.

275

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#3608755

Review of Vampires of Twilight

Review by ShelleyA~15 yea...

In affiliation with The Lucky Leprechaun's Gro...

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

General Disclaimer: This review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find this review helpful.

Hello ~twilight*starlight~

. Good day to you.

This review is made by the light of the moon as we prepare to do battle against the Green Witch

** Image ID #1819460 Unavailable **

I am reviewing your poem "Vampires of Twilight"

Title:

A good title that is fitting to the theme of your poem.

Form/Style:

A good write about the lot in life of vampires. Heartfelt. Skillfully crafted free style metered rhyming triplets that I enjoy.

Imagery:

Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Through the lens of the senses, you paint a vivid picture of the life of vampires, how they live and sustain themselves condemned to walk the night through the ages as they watch those they love die that any reader commiserate with.

Flow/Rhythm:

Flow is good; line to line transition and breaks are done well. Nice rhythm.

Metaphor/Personification/Simile:

Nice personification of time: it "flies" - nice descriptive/comparison.

Rhyme:

Rhyme is good as is the rhyme scheme. A good mix of near perfect dactylic, feminine and masculine end line rhyme of the first two lines in each stanza that is executed well in this piece.

Tone:

Good depth of feeling; you express the pain and sorrow felt by vampires locked into this immortality, hated by all as they seek redemption that will never come. Desolate.

Word Choice/Spelling/Punctuation:

Word choice is good; nice use of repetition and conversation in a type of call and response for emphasis of feeling. Good alliteration, assonance and consonance. No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion to remove the period at the end of line two in the second triplet; to remove the period from the end of line two of the fifth triplet and to change the period to a comma at the end of line two of both the sixth and seventh triplets. This will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion,

I especially like the following lines:
‘We are not but empty shells,
knowing full well that we are condemned to hell.
For life without rest is far worse than a life with an end.’ - a beautiful summation of how vampires feel about themselves that is powerful.

Overall:

Well penned and a good read. Write on.

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