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401
401
Review of Noisy Words  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your rating and title are good.
Most here will identify with these thoughts and feelings.
I have written down feelings on napkins and everything else!

my favorite lines:
'Write them quick, the words won’t keep
Now my head’s at peace again'

Suggestions/Errors:
add some genres

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
402
402
Review of Close To Tears  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Hi there,
Your title,rating and genres are good.

Your first stanza effectively sets your mood for the reader.
I like your repetition of the title, it makes for a dramatic read.

This is my favorite line and we all need to remember this but it is hard when one is suffering.
'What is now will not always be'

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
only one and it's just my preference
I don't like the .... that you have throughout/ I think it's distracting in a poem for the readers.

*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
403
403
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Thanks for entering your story in
Daily Flash Fiction Challenge Open in new Window. (13+)
Enter your story of 300 words or less.
#896794 by Arakun the twisted raccoon Author IconMail Icon
and good luck.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Wo, that is SO nasty! lol
Very creative twist to this story.
You use my prompt well.

What a nightmare...poor woman.
(both of them....)

Your rating, title and genres are good.
Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.
Your ending is good!

SUGGESTIONS:
her unadorned aroma wafting through he station
he - the

KEEP WRITING,
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404
404
Review of Friends  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:
Your title, rating and genres are good.
You share with us thoughts on your friendship and how much your friend means to you. I think we all need that ONE special friend that knows us inside and out and stays beside us no matter what.

Suggestions:
It kill me
add would after it

I'd like to know more about this person you are talking on.
Maybe add some personal things that makes them such a great friend!

5 reviews...thank salliemoffitt for the reviews/Awardicon.
I've really enjoyed your port.

Keep writing!
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405
405
Review of Did you know  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS;
Your title, rating and genres are good.
You express yourself very well with these strong words.

I like your repetition of the questions.
Your ending is very strong as you make the final cut.

I like this line:
'Did you hear the moans of my headaches'

SUGGESTIONS;
I think you need to add punctuation to this.

KEEP WRITING,

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406
406
Review of REALIZATION  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title fits well.
This is a cute read.

It didn't even sound like a man until the end!
lol
Thanks for the laugh.

Your descriptions at the beginning are good.
You touch on the reader's senses.

Suggestions/Errors:
add some genres
men's, comedy, nature or environment
Instead of other you could have this as a story or satire item.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
407
407
Review of A Hero Behind Me  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
aww, this is great!
I didn't know where you were going with this but the ending is so sweet.
And I feel the same about my 2 kids.
Anyone with kids will identify with this short, powerful read.

Your rating, genres and title are good.
I like how you show yourself growing up with batman and superman.

Suggestions/Errors:
I did not notice any typos or errors.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
408
408
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thanks for entering your story in
Daily Flash Fiction Challenge Open in new Window. (13+)
Enter your story of 300 words or less.
#896794 by Arakun the twisted raccoon Author IconMail Icon
and good luck.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
I love the title and how you use it at the end!
Your rating and genres are good.

You use my prompt well.
I enjoyed your story.

I like how you start this off and I love the humor you slide into this.
Your story line is good and it's believable.
Your story reads well and I wasn't left with any questions.

KEEP WRITING,
Tammy
409
409
Review of The Tree House  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Wow, you make this house come alive for your readers.
Your descriptions are great throughout.

I could hear the birds.
You really touch on your reader's senses with this memory.
I love memories like this of the times in one's life when we felt alive!

Another unique prompt/exercise to write from.
Are these from a contest you enter or some group you belong to?

*Cool* Keep writing,

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410
410
Review of Inside my head  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Reading* Overall Impressions:
Hey Mel,
This made me want to cry.
It makes me want to tell my daughter 50 times a day how pretty she is!

It also made me think of childhood/teenage insecurities.
This is a unique prompt/ exercise to do.

I think you capture a young insecure girl very well.I could picture her looking in the mirror with all these thoughts running through her eyes.

Keep writing,
hugs, Tammy

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411
411
Review of Union  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thanks for entering your story in
Daily Flash Fiction Challenge Open in new Window. (13+)
Enter your story of 300 words or less.
#896794 by Arakun the twisted raccoon Author IconMail Icon
and good luck.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Hi there,

Your title, rating and genres are all appropriate.
I love the quote you include, it helps to set up your story and that time period.

I really love where you took my prompt.
Your first line is strong and it really pulls your readers in.

You stick to the characters and that time well with the dialog.
Your ending made me want to cry. You show this couple's love very well.

SUGGESTIONS:
in para 2 is that supposed to be his chest or her chest?

KEEP WRITING,
hugs, Tammy
412
412
Review of The Tree  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
I enjoyed reading this.
I think you capture nature well with these thoughts.

Your story flows well and your descriptions are good.
Your first line is strong and makes the reader want to know more.

Suggestions/Errors:
You could add one more genre to this.
emotional or nature

You need a more creative title to go with this great read!

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
413
413
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your rating, title and genres are good.

Your poem is full of descriptions and your imagery is good throughout.
I agree with your thoughts on nature and life.

Suggestions/Errors:
Overall, I'd work on the punctuation throughout in this.

Watch your use of commas, they can cause the read to be choppy.

You have a 1 ? and 1 ! but no other punctuation.
Maybe add some periods to end your thoughts.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
414
414
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower1* Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies.
THE DROP-OFF BOX  Open in new Window. (13+)
Monthly newbie contest.
#530577 by Tammy~Catchin Up~ Author IconMail Icon


My Overall impression:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Great first line.
What an imagination!

Your descriptions are good throughout.
I like your thoughts on flying like the cathedral angels and the
plucking flower petals. All very creative.
Your ending is good.

Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your use of then..then this happened, then that happened etc;
Work on flowing from thought to thought/ event to event.

*Flower1* Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
415
415
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.
What a letter, sounds like a great vacation.
I like the memories you share with your readers.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You share a little bit of the sight with us, I'd like to have 'saw' more.
I think it would enhance this item/letter if you had more descriptions on your surroundings to give your readers.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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416
416
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Wink*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Very neat idea for an In/Out.
Your humor is a little dark..I love it!
I enjoyed reading the entries, but couldn't think of one!
You set the scene well for this misfortune cookie.

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
You need a funny or a wicked cookie fortune image to add to the forum.

*Cool* Keep writing,

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417
417
Review of Childhood  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.
Your title fits well and your rating is good.

I like your thoughts on childhood and agree with some of them!
It's always good to let that inner child out.

I like your ending (the last 2 lines) the best.

Suggestions:
add some genres to this

I think you should capitalize I throughout.

Watch your use of filler words.
(the, and, that)
Watch your tenses.
You want to stay with the same one throughout.

ex;
I never knew that time will change,
I never thought that i had change
try;
I never knew time would change,
I never thought I would change

A few of your lines are awkward
ex;
Love for me now i disdained,
try;
Love for me now feels disdained,??

The moon for me has a big hare ;
try
The moon for me looked like a big hare;?


Keep writing!
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418
418
Review of Hopeful Wind  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

I love your title.
Your rating and genres are good.
I like your line on choosing between cheers and tears.

Suggestions:
You repeat yourself in the first stanza.
ex;
And there is nothing, not a thing to fear...
And yet there is nothing here that is planned,
Plus you have mentioned that there is nothing in the preceding lines.
I'd work on expressing myself a little more...you use barren in the first line ...maybe use more synonyms and adjectives to describe the nothing that you are talking of.

I am a little confused with the second stanza, I'm not sure how the wind can change your loneliness.


Keep writing!
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419
419
Review of Enchantment  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Wink*Thanks for entering your poem in
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#962569 by Not Available.
and good luck.

*Flower2*OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

Your poem is pretty and sweet as you describes feelings of a dreamy state.
I like your 1st line that shows a dance move/ what a creative way to show a leaf!

*Idea*MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
My main thing with this poem would be if you didn't have the intro I am not sure I'd know what you were talking about.
You might expand a little on your poem and show your readers the leaf and the dreaming. Hope that makes sense.
This is a great poem, it just needs a little clarification.


*Flower4*Keep writing. Always, Tammy
420
420
Review of Call me Africa  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (1.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

Your title and rating are good.

I like the synonyms you choose for yourself.
Your repetition in this works well to get your point across.

Suggestions:
add some genres

In line 11 I think it would be a stronger statement if you cut you in this.

I think this poem would benefit from punctuation.

Keep writing!

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421
421
Review of Hope  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.
This is a very pretty and inspirational poem on hope.
This is a great way to describe the hope within each of us.
I like your line on the waterfall.

Suggestions:
add some genres

You need a more unique title for this.
Suggestions from your poem;
Graceful Hope
Waterfalls of Hope

Keep writing!
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422
422
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
Your title, rating and genres are good.

I like your story. The plot is creative.
I like how you give obvious names for the river and the cafe.

SUGGESTIONS:
In the first line, I would make lighted~lit.

I'd space after the dialog, it is easier to read and follow.

When you are telling the guy about your band..it is hard to tell which parts you are saying to him and which part you are remembering.

Your ending is good with him realizing that his friend didn't die in vain, but it is also confusing the way you leave the Dream Cafe.

I think you have a great story that needs a little clean-up.

KEEP WRITING.
TAMMY

REVIEW ON BEHALF OF
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423
423
Rated: E | (4.0)
Overall Impressions:
Welcome to the site.

Your title, rating and genres are appropriate.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can identify, I had a miscarriage in 2004. Your poem is full of love and pain. Your ending questions is very strong and one that we have to believe that things happen for a reason. I hope writing on this painful subject has helped some.

Suggestions:
You have parts of this capitalized that you do not need capitalized and you end each line with.... both are very distracting to the reader.

Keep writing!
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424
424
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
lol.
Thanks for the smile.
I picked this because many days I too feel like this!

You rating, title and genres are appropriate.

I love the humor you slide in to this poem as you tell of a very hectic day.

Suggestions:
Just watch your use of commas and periods after each line, sometimes they are not needed and make the read a little choppy.

a review for a review
Keep writing!
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425
425
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Overall Impressions:
Your rating and genres are good.
I picked this for the title, it is so pretty.

Your words express love and coming together as one in a very whimsical way.
I like your ending the best/ it is strong.

my favorite part:
'The rhythm of our own sweet song.
That tells of a love so fiercely strong.'

a review for a review
Keep writing!
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