I enjoyed your romance, I like the humor you slide in.
I like your witty main character.
Your story flows well and kept me wondering how it would end.
I like the way you leave this...it stands fine as is, but you could also expand on the story if you wanted.
suggestion:
I think you could expand a little on your descriptions...I do like the way you show some of the main characters flaws but would like to know a little more on her.
I think you could also expand a little more on his art work.
I enjoyed your story and was surprised with the ending funny twist!
Your title is good and appropriate.
I like your main character and the way he seems to be talking to the reader.
suggestions:
I know you have to watch your word count on this but in para one, I think I would have added a little more imagery.
Keep writing.
hugs, Tammy
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
My Overall impression:
Great tribute/poem.
Your poem goes full circle in this tragedy.
Your ending is really good.
Your rhymes are good and your poem/story flows well.
I think stanza 4 is the best it really sets the mood of your poem.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
I enjoyed your story.
It was intense in places and ironic/funny at times.
Very unique plot you have.....not your normal vampire story!!
Your title, rating and genres are all good.
I didn't notice any typos or errors.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
Very cute story.
I like your title...creative play on words there!
Your story flows well and I wasn't left with any questions.
Suggestions/Errors:
Watch your repitition of words
In para 4 you have chocolate 4 times...a couple of these could be changed for different descriptive words.
You might make Daniel a little older...I'm not sure a 4 year old would be worried about the bunny or have such a creative plan...
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Thanks for sharing a part of yourself with us.
Your title, rating and genres are good.
I like the descriptions you use they are very creative.
Suggestions/Errors:
I would just go over this there are a lot of little grammar errors/spelling errors that need fixing.
Here are a few:
One person who stands out like a glow stick in the pitch black in Melissa W.
I would change the second in to is.
The resin I like Mel is because she is magic
this should be reason.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
Your words are true, we all long to be older until before we know it...we are old, longing for our youth.
It's ironic! Your poem expresses this very well.
Suggestions/Errors:
You mention memories....I think if you added a stanza with some personal memories that it would enhance your poem.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
I like your poem.
It made me think of my parents, the Lord, my best friend and others.
I think each reader will think of special people that this applies to.
Thanks for sharing.
Suggestions/Errors:
Add some genres to this...it will give your poem exposure. (maybe spiritual, experience, personal)
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
My Overall impression:
I like your title, it fits well.
Your rating and genres are good.
Your poem tells a tragic story.
You set the scene well and the ending twist was unexpected.
Suggestions/Errors:
Your ryhme pattern is the same except for the first stanza..I would change line 3 or 4 in the first stanza to make that rhyme better.
Watch your use of words not needed/or filler words, the, that, and etc.
ex;
We were under the shade of that same, old cherry blossom tree.
Seeing the painful feeling in his eyes, from it, I don’t think I could ever break free.
He held me tightly in his arms like he never did before.
I soon felt the urge not to let go of his embrace more and more
try
We were under the shade of that old cherry blossom tree.
Seeing the pain in his eyes; I don’t think I could ever break free.
He held me tightly like he never had before.
I felt the urge to not let go of his embrace for
evermore
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
Welcome to the site. Hope you enjoy it. Thanks for entering The Drop Box, my contest for newbies. "THE DROP-OFF BOX "
My Overall impression:
This is written very well.
I would love to read more on this, the past that led to this and on to the future with Roy.
I think you have the start for a character sketch, but I wouldn't say this was a character sketch...you have intorduced the new character but not revealed anything about Roy yet.
I'd like to know more about him and his parents.
Suggestions/Errors:
ONly one;
Finish with this, I think a novel with these characters would be very interesting.
Hope you enjoy yourself here. Any questions, e-mail me.
Keep writing, Tammy
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and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I enjoyed your poem.
You touch on your readers senses.
Your imagery is good through-out.
Each stanza paints a picture for your readers.
Your descriptions are good and really bring your poem alive for your readers.
My favorite lines are:
'A basket of fruit glistening. Fat
red apples and grapes-wishing to be wine if only they could speak.'
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and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSION:
Your title is fitting, your rating and genres are good.
What a love story. I enjoyed reading this.
Your poem is so very pretty as you tell your story.
What a way to gentle go into death!
Thanks for sharing your poem.
Thanks for entering your poem in"Invalid Item" and good luck.
OVERALL IMPRESSION:
I like your title you chose for this.
I like your ending and most here will identify with your poem. Stanza 4 pretty much sums it all up.
MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS:
Watch your use of filler words(the, that and etc.) and your repitition of words.
ex;
Meaningless drivel pours forth
And blocks the sound of silence.
The darkness engulfs all beings
And stops the light from shining.
try;
Meaningless drivel pours forth
Blocking the sound of silence.
Darkness engulfs all beings
Stopping the light from shining.
Keep writing. Always, Tammy
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OVERALL IMPRESSION: 
Keep writing. Always, Tammy
MY OPINIONS/SUGGESTIONS: