So the story literally proves the wisdom behind the saying, "Look before you leap."
You painted a realistic picture of teenage folly, which could be true in any country of the world.
Things that stand out:
That teenage is rough and hasty
Indulging in the wrong way.
Lack of lighting near the pool
Swimming in the buff is dangerous
There are no warning boards near the pool.
Punctuation-
The word at the beginning of each paragraph should have a capital letter. In the story, some have it and some do not.
It is an appealing story with a moral. Quite dramatically told.
Life's philosophy is well fitted into these verses. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being a dynamic and creative member of the WDC. Have a lovely day my friend!
Failures do not count if they are stepping stones to success, as the wise poet affirmed. Like you said if we accept the fact that failure and success are the two poles of the same reality, we live through journey of life very happily indeed.
Your observation that we need to take both the attractive and the ugly in equal measure, attains value considering our partiality to "roses" and not to the "skunks".
You did show how difficult it is yet, possible to rise above the opposites. This takes long time to come to terms with, I should admit.
My favorite lines:
"Look up when you are down,
but don't forget to look down when you are up."
I am awed by your wisdom.
Thank you for a spontaneous and well-crafted poem.
The world of crime and murder are well crafted. The sleuths and the criminals are described along with the environment they move in.
I find the details required to write crime fiction are all in place. The discovery of the child's body, the criminal John escaping the law and planning to take another small victim. It adds to the reader's chagrin that he should specialize in child murders and elate in his devilry.
The group that works privately to snare the culprits comes across as something delivering justice just by silently eliminating the killer. A great idea.
John Dock's plan backfired. Once again the narration and kidnap details are well put across.
Killers like Bill Johnson advanced far ahead with their murders and are beyond redemption. They needed to be put out, for the good of the society.
Language and style are of good caliber. Kept my curiosity on a high level.
Great memories, Jeff. Enjoyed your description of "coming of age" with your dad and friends. Such experiences are the treasured ones, no doubt.
You showed what it was to be sixteen and the various ways in which one could enjoy life at that point of time.
Baseball, worshiping baseball stars, friends with just a girl Pat ( that's truly wonderful)in the team, and thrill of witnessing the league match in the company of dad and mates.
" Dad and I live on forever in my pen."
What a beautiful figure of speech!
The boys here play cricket on the roads(for want of cricket field) when there is no traffic. They enjoy every moment of the game.
I can see why this is an important memory for you.
the tempo is great. You have literally shown what it takes to get the heartbeat quicken in the dark.
The lonely person is definitely afraid of the dark. Slow fading of the lamp and the gradually enveloping darkness are visually described.
" The dark seems gripping the beam"
Its effect is shown in the next four lines. Confusion, fear and nervousness are taking over and the heart beats an irregular rhythm.
It is an observation poem.
Watchful eye of the poet looks at what is unfolding before him.
Poetic expression and the word choices appeal to me.
It flows well.
Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary Gerv! Congratulations on the occasion.
This anxiety pain in the chest attacks me too sometimes. But a little later it disappears thankfully.
It is true that writing is like therapy for the mind. It lets the mind shed its uncalled for worries and thoughts. With a little effort we can divert the pain-causing feelings and start feeling liberated.
Your article shows that there is way to solve any problem.
The end result is good.
"It isn't much but it helped get a lot off my chest"
It is so true that we cannot turn back "the hands of time" however much we long to do so. The pain remains like the indelible ink. I cannot rub it off the page of my past. I cannot forget. Live through the searing pain, I must continue repenting for the mistakes committed.
But yes, as you so well put, "we place the indications of where to make new marks."
Perhaps some day, I could shelve the past look for a bright future and mould life to my will.
Language and style are impressive and worthy of emulation if that is possible.
Thank you for sharing your positive outlook on life.
Have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary, Joto-Kai!
An affectionate poem for the son. I see overflowing love for the handsome boy. Children are such delightful diversions and irresistible by nature and actions. It is amazing how creative they can be left to themselves.
"The ever-growing artist,
Shows his talents unfurled."
The rhyme and rhythm are effective. Word choices enable me to read the poem aloud and enjoy the intonation.
Imagery is quite vivid and the picture of the little boy is well defined and drawn in word pictures.
Here is hoping that he fulfills all his dreams.
Great expression of feelings and love in particular. Love is essential for life like oxygen, without which life loses its inspiration. As you so well put it,
"its the feeling of love
the feeling we live for"
It is true that love embraces all. It is all-inclusive. It is not selfish or self-centered. It is not narrow either. Pain and suffering are part of life. what makes us survive through the buffeting winds of misery is love. That can make us weather any change good or bad.
" the struggles and pain
wash away in the rain'
How right!
Nothing matters if you have this sense of belonging, this quality of love.
Those lines of pain convey the unforgivable past. Yet, it gives no satisfaction. In fact, it enhances the misery and makes a person bitter and cold. The descriptive lines of a past rid with suffering for no fault show the bottled up anger quite effectively.
"Why did you do it all?
Why did you act as you did?"
You must have realized that we all act for our reasons of ego and anger. There is more of Satan in all of us than a saint. Your effort in curbing the negative attitude is brought out by "forgiving".
It appears tough to do that yet you did it. Congratulations.
I am really moved by this monologue that takes us to the past and brings us back to present. What a transformation! and all for good.
Hello Megan,
it is an absolutely an informative piece of writing. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another year of great writing. Congratulations and a have lovely day!
The women you talked about are all lovable and powerful in their own way. Right from your mother, grandmother and great grandmother to women in the public eye to royalty and writers appear unique celebrities. This article is an appropriate tribute to women power. It shows that there is nothing that women cannot do if they so desire.
With an influence like that, there is no wonder that you can write so well.
Thanks for sharing thoughts on women of name and fame.
Breathing is all about knowing the world and self, they say. Controlled breathing with mindfulness allows me to know myself as well the world outside. It is this understanding, which matters most, no matter where we are, for human nature and mother nature are the same anywhere.
The economy of words in no way obliterates the profoundness of the theme, breathing and being in the present.
No wonder you insert being in love with breathing considering the vital value of it
"You, love, are the air that I breath
My life, my world, my everything"
However, it made you "hyperventilate". You got to watch it. Take a deep breath without emotion for a calm-down state.
You showed the subtle difference between healthy breathing and hyperventilating.
This is a confession of a strange kind. I like the tenor and texture of sentences long and lissome.
They remind me of my eighteenth century favorite masters of fiction and prose. Long and lyrical with literary devices such as alliteration and descriptive excellence in place.
This author cannot but be an author if I am not mistaken. Sometimes we hate what we love, kind of bitter-sweet connection.
"I cannot possibly be addicted to WDC"
For some reason I am truly mystified at this statement.
You say you lack "ideas". I doubt it because the one who likes the touch of pen to paper and the other associated tasks of the craft of writing, cannot possibly be anything but a writer.
All the best in your writing, "Tuesday".
And have a wonderful WDC Account Anniversary. You started in 2006 and still counting. Amazing!
The very fist line has a metaphor which is at once new and unique. This is the first time I have ever heard of life being addressed as "mud." Ironically, it is true that after life, the body is consigned to mud either by burial or by cremation. But that is another story.
As nothing happens to mud, the author finds it more convenient to compare to to a puddle which is either still or full of ripples.
I find the figure of comparison pretty thought provoking.
There is truth in what is said in this short but thoughtful aritcle.
Hello Alex,
this is such a sincere poem of love, it is so much like mine own moments of love's effect. My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a lovely day.
The content flows smooth and strong like a gentle water fall. You have shown what it means to go through those feelings of love for the first time in life.
"But the feeling is so strong
and it bewilders me"
You have taken the poem on to imagine a life without her, which to me sounds quite logical. Love is like the vital oxygen to heart and soul, metaphorically speaking.
color blue is pleasant and simple. Yet it dominates. My review of this well written Nonet is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being an active and creative member of the WDC community for another year. Have a wonderful day.
Your line on the sky being blue made me look up and found it truly soft and soothing to my eye.
"Sky, deep blue azure"
Shaped like a cut diamond, this poem threw light on the varied and many shades of color blue. Blue eyes are also my favorite feature besides clothes made in light blue.
Those fluffy blue clouds against the white of sky are so appealing and attractive. What about the blue sea? It changes to innumerable shades of blue if you watch through the day.
My favorite line,
"Our planet Earth shines bright with blue"
What a lovely story with a great message about honesty!
Justin's character is very close to reality. It is apt that the author used a nine-old kid as the finder of the book with a large dollar bill. Justin did the right thing by telling about it to his mother, who in turn did a great job by turning the book and money to the right owner.
They were duly rewarded, and I think it is in the order of things.
Setting-
Justin found the book in the right place. The setting in a bus is again very appropriate because people do lose things aboard a bus quite often.
Glad that Justin has the right kind of mother who understands truth and has no greed.
it is a lovely poem with which I can relate effortlessly. This review of your poem is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completing another creative year at the WDC. Have a beautiful day.
Each stanza makes sense to me, for that is the way one feels about love and companionship. It shows your deep feelings to the person concerned. You are almost addicted to him, his love, his presence.
"When I need love,
And need someone,
All I want to be with is you."
Every emotion and experience gone through seeks the support given by the significant other. Committed to love for life, there is no alternative to finding another way to relief and joy.
It is a beautifully constructed poem on simple lines with profound thoughts and feelings.
A beautifully crafted story of Albert Einstein's revolutionary breakthrough with the equation E=MC².
Even as seen from a dog's point it has not lost sense and entertainment. Dog's confusion is absolutely justifiable. Details of the "master" and his mutt are meticulously penned.
"He has his hands in the grey fur on his head. It’s curly and a little matted, like my own."
A fact told from the point of view of a dog sounds so appealing.
Of course I cannot understand the energy-mass-c2 elements. But I can see that Einstein came upon the most important equation on that night.
this poem sounds like she is country and he is a bit rock-n-roll type. They are two things but appear to blend well.
My review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations and have a great day.
You did say it is "nonsense" verse. But, to me it makes sense albeit in lines that lack grammar. But then, that is part of the charm of poetry. Isn't it?
"Different we sweet"
You give the reader the job to decipher the meaning. I find the activity quite engaging.
Matching and agreeable combinations are always pleasant and intend to impart joy.
The last two lines provide the answer as to why certain things are created that way.
an impressive poem of deep thoughts of the past, a past that returns not. This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on the occasion. Have a lovely day.
The empty bench under the colors of fall speaks of loneliness. This image speaks for itself and acts like prompt for the following verses.
It is a world without romance and the companion. A world given to ponder the past with striking indifference.
No longer bound by love.
Blown by the winds of dispassion, they found their individual destination.
Structure-
Impressive structure that suits the content of the poem, a long line tapering to a line of single word. It shows the gradual depletion of love to me.
I find rhyming remarkable. Form is commendable. Balancing content and form is rare feat of excellence.
I find this free verse composition quite thoughtful and thought-provoking as well. Its tone of having gone through several experiences to finally reach the conclusions you drew, comes through with clarity.
Congratulations on celebrating WDC Account Anniversary. Have a great day!
"In ourselves we have a world that meets the great beyond,
Out of pure being we are,"
Lines of like the ones above inspire me to think of the people outside without prejudice. They don't change. I can, by improving my vision of others and become more understanding rather than angry or happy.
"Out of pure being we are,"
Man is basically good. But "darkness" makes them afraid and hence the changes in personalities.
Your thoughts about the The Old Iron Bunk Bed in the Backwoods Christian Camp are charming and valuable for those who understand what peace and joy mean.
This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on completion of another year at the WDC. Have a lovely day.
I absolutely loved this descriptive essay on the summer camp where people gathered for relaxation, service and sports.
The lunch hour solitude and entertainment you find are a kind of relaxation for the body and mind. The woods near by add to the general feeling of contentment.
Clearly, this is a favorite haunt for you.
" I find the peace and serenity that I've come to associate with this camp."
It is a kind of path showing essay in which you have so well revealed, what we can do in times of restiveness or idle spending of time.
Hi,
I find your observations on love rather intriguing. This review is for your WDC Account Anniversary. Congratulations on being a creative member of the WDC for another year. Have a great day.
There are contradictory qualities of love, which you short listed here.
"There is nothing more meaningful,
And less significant,"
Love is not merely physical or expressive of evanescent emotions. It is much more and above the changing facets of life.
Love is nicely personified. You give human characteristics to an emotion that rules planet earth to great extent from times immemorial. No one can monopolize love. It is everyone's. Anyone who is capable of feeling its tremors in their soul, will have him for as long as they want. The moment you give up on him, he vanishes to fresh pastures.
Love is not merely physical. It dwells in body, soul and spirit. No matter you are brave or faint-hearted, love visits all. We need to welcome into our lives, into our hearts. Yes, you are right when you say it is addictive.
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