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201
201
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello there PureSciFiPlus

I am Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!




First Impressions:

Title and the brief description let a reader know this story's theme is the craft/hobby of writing. I guess we writers can all agree with that as one of our favorite hobbies. *Smile*

Further Thoughts:

While reading through the story, I almost thought that the true hobby in this story seems to be moving. There was a whole lot of descriptions of two weeks worth of moving from the old place to the new place, and just a mere mention of writing or attempting to write.

One could suppose the art of writing is not easy to write about. It's the writing that makes it our craft, our hobby.

Further Observations:

This story is about trying to write each day amidst a labor intensive move from the old home to the new one. Writing is naturally interrupted, thus the hobby is placed on the back burner.

Observations:

"After Patrick James backs up to the opening garage, he and Douglas get out and goes go into their old place."

"Too tired after moving to the new house to get any writing done yesterday, thinks Douglas as he fights to keep his eyes open while Patrick drives them back to their old place." Awkwardly stated. This could be simplified.

"After getting everything, (no comma needed here)we wanted to get on the truck and in my SUV into the garage we started loading them up."

Further Observations & Suggestions:

There is a tendency to use a passive voice throughout the story. It doesn't capture the reader's attention as well as if you used an active voice.

Active voice in an of itself helps keep the story tighter. You don't want to get bogged down in word-heavy paragraphs when a few well-placed word choices would do the trick.


Further down in the story, they decide with only a couple days left to relinquish the premises, they decided to rent a U-Haul. Why not do that from the start? And, if that were the case, why were movers involved? Why use the SUV for a couple trips a day back and forth when either the movers or the rental of a U-Haul truck could have made it in one or two trips?


Parting Thoughts:

I found the flow of the story a bit difficult to follow. It appears in the early part of the story they were waiting for movers. Then, they are suddenly traveling back and forth from old place to new with their belongings in an SUV. If there were movers involved, why would they need to be moving so much stuff on their own? I started to thing that moving stuff was the real hobby. *Worry*

Curious, indeed as to how much stuff they had to move? It wasn't a whole family, just two guys. But perhaps I missed something along the way. The point is, I shouldn't have to wonder. You are the writer, you are the one who can make us readers see what you see in your mind as you wrote your story.

I think there's a little room for improvement here, and it begins with using an active voice and not getting hung-up in emphasizing that which prevented the writer from getting to his writing, but by actually describing a certain story being worked on, and showing irritation due to the hours of moving and traveling required.

Make the writing the predominant subject matter of the story by actually starting a few lines of whatever Douglas was writing during the time. Then show the need to do more packing and moving. Spending so much time on the road in the rain takes away from the heart of the story. Return Douglas back to the keyboard during a break typing out a couple more lines, etc. I think that would pull a reader, especially one who is a writer, right into the mind of Douglas. We would have a clearer image of this character.

Conclusion:

You had a good spin on the Hobby/Craft genre by trying to place a love for writing within the real world of everyday duties that tend to get in the way of such a beloved hobby.

Thank you again for entering the contest. You are being the writer you were hoping Douglas would be in the story. It was not one of the easiest prompts to write about. At least you made an attempt. Kudos! *PenB*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch


This is an "The WDC Angel Army"  Review! *Angelic*

Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
202
202
Review of Blue Crayon  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
zeHello there

I am Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Thoughts:

Your title and brief description grab the reader's attention. You make it an inviting hook to read the story. *Hook*

Further Impressions:

I love how you weave something spiritual and magical into this story. The blue crayon appeared to be one of the most used and needed in . The young lady so enjoyed sketching as a hobby, but received offers by folks who wanted her to sketch their portraits. *Painting*

The crayons took on a life of their own, whereby she couldn't sketch what was in her mind for that person's portrait she was doing. Somehow, it was a resemblance to the person, but also had a different something that couldn't be explained, until Grandma set her straight on art and money and love.

Parting Thoughts:

It's a wonderful lesson for the young artist. You can't put a price tag on love. *Crayons*

I couldn't find any errors that jumped out at me. The story flowed smoothly along keeping the reader's interest right to the end. The ending was heartwarming, indeed.

You did a fine job with the Hobby/Craft genre prompt. *ThumbsUpGreen*


Conclusion:

Beautifully, done! *PaintBrush*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
203
203
Review of The Boat  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello there Graham B.

I am Ԝ€ß☆ԜiʈCH reviewing your story as a judge for the
SURVEY
Journey Through Genres: Official Contest  (E)
Write a short story in the given genre to win big prizes!
#1803133 by Writing.Com Support


Thank you for entering the contest!



Initial Thoughts:

Love "Secrets" good way to hook a reader into the story in your brief description. I like that there is going to be a mystery to solve. *ThumbsUpGreen*

Further Impressions:

Charlie (aka Charlene) was the sheriff in the community in charge of taking inventory of the the deceased premises for probate court. Wilhelm crafted a beautiful boat , but there was no family to give it to.

The sheriff finds initials (M.G.) carved into the boat and tries to find who was that important to Wilhelm that could be the person to inherit the boat.

The town gossip lady Daphne Payne spoke to Charlie sending him over to Merritt Garner's house due to their "history" because Mimi, Merritt's wife was a known hussy and must have worked her charms on Wilhelm. *Shock2*

Additional Observations:

This story covers hobby, boat building for one. The neighbor played the violin. Music and craftsmanship. Hits the Hobby/Craft Genre in the prompt. *Thumbsup*

There's also a couple sun-stories going on as well. Someone was in a relationship with Wilhelm, and that was about to be unfolded.

Also, the sheriff's husband was pushing Charlie to sign divorce papers so he can be with the woman he loves and their son likes her as a future step mom.

Parting Thoughts:

Charlie signed the divorce papers in the sheriff's car. I felt like she came to grips with the ending of the marriage and was ready to move on.

The ending wrapped up quickly as the reader finds out the M.G. initials weren't Mimi Garnier's.

The ending was a bittersweet memorial with the boat being released in the lake.


Conclusion:


Nice job with the prompt. The story could have been tightened up a bit since there were a couple subplots taking place. It's difficult to give a history of the characters and have a mystery unfolding in a limited word count such as this.

You did manage to get the point of the story across to the reader, though, enough to fill in the blanks. *CheckG*




Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch



Angel&Witch


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
204
204
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, jackson
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I came across this amusing story while perusing the Comedy Genre pages. *Ha*

First Impressions:

Loved the title and brief description. Good way to tempt a reader to plunge into the story. Curiosity is just that powerful and urge.

Further Thoughts:

I so enjoyed this story written in the colloquial dialect of the area. It painted vivid images in my mind's eye. It was difficult not put a face on the grandma and the almost white cat. *Laugh*

Good way to connect with the readers and pull them into the story as if they are right there.

Parting Thoughts:

This was such a humorous story, rich in detail and imagery. That poor cat! *Laugh* The description of a baptism by tobacco spit really hits the funny bone. Being a comedy lover, you hit all the things I look for as a classic tale twisted around comedic moments that just kept flowing on.

Conclusion:

Your story is classic, it made me laugh ... Therefore, I am highlighting this in this week's WDC Comedy Newsletter, due out tomorrow. Hope you subscribe to the Comedy Newsletter so it shows up in your email.

Until next time--write on, laugh on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
205
205
for entry "Pivotal" 
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there, Stik *Wave*
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the June Blogging/Journaling contest. *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

This is what I'd call more on the journal side of the blog/journal contest.

Further Thoughts:

You chose writing a journal based on fictional characters. You brought each one to life so the reader could picture them. *Cool*

Characters were developed, it felt as if I met them as I came to learn more about them with each entry.

Each entry read like a chapter in their lives. They were inviting the reader to see what would happen next. The pacing of the entries were smooth, easy reads.

Conclusion:

You paid attention to detail. The characters seemed to write their own story with how each had a certain need, hopes and dreams they were beginning to explore. You made the fiction more real as a reader nears the end of the blog.


Job well done! *ThumbsUpGreen*

Thanks again for entering and keeping us entertained. Hope to see you again in June 2023!

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
206
206
Review of On The Write Path  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello Kåre Enga in Montana
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your blog as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering the June blogging contest, *Bigsmile*

Qualities I enjoy:

It's a glimpse into one's life
Holds interest with subject matter discussed
Mixture of Real life OR all real life -- Not completely fiction
Eye appeal, relevant photos or videos, etc.

Your entries were very in tune with those qualities. *BoxCheckB*

Subject Matter:

You give a reader a fine account of traveling in Portugal, and where to stay and the costs that could be estimated.

People:

You introduce us to the people you have stayed with, met on tour, and visited their establishments. It's as if we have met those folks in person.


Real Life Events:

Bingo! Loved the touring and the sharing of both good times and difficult times due to illness.

Imagery!

I enjoyed the images you included within the blog.


Conclusion:

Well done and quite informative!

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
207
207
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Thank you for entering
FORUM
The Bard's Hall Contest  (13+)
JUNE:Annual Blog Month!
#981150 by StephBee
Blogging contest in June!

Your entries are filled with beautiful poetry and a peek into learning more about you, your likes and dislikes, loves and losses ... life in general with all of its ups and downs.

I enjoyed your additions of music videos, and the inspiration you have received from certain artists. I've got to tell you ... Your poetic muse is on fire! *Fire* Some great emotion, well-balance, lovely lyrical qualities -- even the ones that were written out of sadness or anger came through in a clever cadence.

It's obvious you've put a lot of work into each entry and the totality of the blog has eye appeal. *Cool*

I have really enjoyed getting to know you better through your blog. Thank you so much for sharing part of your life with us.

Until next time--blog on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
208
208
Review of The Last Ticket  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, DAtmospheres
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I found your story while perusing the Comedy Genre page. *Ha*

My first Impression:

What could possibly go wrong? Pregnant passenger, careless telegram operator? I don't know, but I sure wanted to find out!

Further Impressions:

Pamela is a caring American woman trying to get a train to meet her hubby who is serving in the Military, and is stationed in England. The train had only one available berth left and it was first class. She bought the ticket.

An elderly woman was next in line. She felt bad that the woman wouldn't get to her destination for the birth of her first grandchild. Pamela, being the big-hearted person she is gave away her ticket to the woman.


Conclusion:

Pamela, of course, neede to get a telegram to her husband about her later arrival.


I won't spoil the ending, but it's a doozy!

Amusing tale, great ending, laughs are there, of course. *WitchHat*

I will be highlighting this item in the Comedy Newsletter, due out tomorrow. *Delight*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
209
209
Review of Birth of a memory  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, iluvhorses
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our May's picture prompt contest! *Bigsmile*

Initial Thoughts:

You followed the rules. *BoxCheck*
You gave us a glimpse of what the child's thought took the photo prompt and brought the child to life with his thoughts of the chocolate covered strawberry. In fact he couldn't stop eating them! I wish there were more thoughts from the toddler. He only responds to the "dozen" comment.

Observation:

"Reggie seems pleased as he practice (practiced) his newly acquired sign for "more","


Parting Thoughts:

I notice you just made it in before the deadline. You may have had more opportunity to add to the story giving us even more thoughts through the eyes of the child. However, to your credit, you took the plunge and entered. *ThumbsUpGreen*

Conclusion:

This is indeed how memories are made. *InLove*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
210
210
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering May's Picture Prompt Contest. *Bigsmile*

My Thoughts:

This little dialogue was amusing all the way through.

You followed the rules, wrote a story based on the picture, and made us see the story through the eyes of the child.

I loved the youngster's interpretation of what a chocolate covered strawberry is. Everything covered in brown should give a kid second thoughts! *Laugh*

Since everything is yucky-poo, in his mind, this kid was not going to fall for the delicious chocolate covered strawberry.

Loved the ending! *Rolling*

Chocolate is bad for dogs. Good comeback by the kid who thinks his parents are out to get him with the food choices.

Quick and quirky and fun to read! *Bigsmile*

Well done! *Strawberry*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
211
211
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there, Writer_Mike
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I'm also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our May, Photo Prompt month!

First Impressions:

Loved the brief description about Thomas coming to terms with the treat being offered. I knew you caught the expression in the photo and the rule about making us see what's happening through the eyes of the child.

Rules Followed ... *BoxCheck*

Further Impressions:

You brought Thomas to life for the reader. I loved the internal thoughts of the youngster. Kids do say the darnedest things and now we are privy to that!

The treats usually offered were not to the kid's liking and he already became a challenge to the parents trying to get him to eat something.

Loved this part:

"Well, maybe we'll circle back to the plums." I was reminded of someone seen on TV. *Thought* Nothing like weaving something out of the headlines into your story. *Laugh*

I loved Thomas's replies. This kid believed he was in control.

Conclusion:

Thomas may have been a fussy snack chooser, but the kid also knew when to step down the stubbornness. Miss the chance to go to the zoo? He wasn't going to let that happen! *Rolling*

Quite entertaining! *Monkey*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
212
212
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Angel&Witch




Hi Princess Megan Rose 22 Years
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because I found it while perusing "One Writer's Favorites!" . *Bigsmile*

You did a lovely job of showing a reader how their feelings shouldn't be bottled up and ignored. If one remains silent, then who will know something is wrong? If one complains, are they pitied? I don't think so. I believe those who remain silent and don't allow a good friend to help unscramble the turbulence hidden within, are losing something extremely powerful to help them find the solutions. *DragonflyR*

Yes, quiet suffering might seem noble to some, but, expressing what's on one's mind, even if a bitterness being battled, surely will make both who share in its "secret silence" will be enriched in a way that makes both feel so much better. *TulipB*


I really like this and enjoyed reading it. It made me think on a philosophical level. That's a good exercise for the brain, too! *Delight*

Good job! *Butterfly2B*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
213
213
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch




Hello iluvhorses

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your item because I came across it while perusing writings in "One Writer's Favorites!" . I was pulled into reading this from your title and brief description. *Reading*

I, too, have seen what storms can do to beautiful, mature trees. In my case it was an ice storm that wreaked havoc on some of my trees. However, none were Weeping Willows. *Wind*

I have always wanted a huge willow tree on my land, but as you say, they do dig their roots deeply into drainage systems.

Your story, very much a prose-like writing, short, almost lyrical in nature because it talks about the nature of a majestic tree.

I loved how you describe its destruction and the feelings of sadness when it was down on the ground after the storm. Weeping for a Weeping Willow -- mourning its loss. Beautifully crafted to bring the personal tragedy of its loss to the reader.


I found no spots where there needed to be any repairs. Well written and actually, well-painted imagery sketched into the reader's mind. I saw that tree both standing proudly, and lying down on the ground, not salvageable. *Cry*

Great job! *Tree3*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
214
214
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch




My dear Sherri, I fell upon this poem via another writer's link. I couldn't resist saying a few words in honor of your mom's memory and yours.

This poem touched my heart and made me reflect on that sudden feeling of a daughter who lost her mother. *HeartBroken*

I give it 5 stars, because no one knows the feelings of the loss of a mother until they've experienced it, and it was one they loved so dearly.

I felt all of that reading your poem. *Care*

I remember how wonderful you were to me when my mother died, notes and card of sympathy sent to my home. You left us here a couple years later.

Thank you for the books you wrote that I have read.

It may seem odd to others, that I review a White Case, author, because she'll never see the review. But actually, I believe that you can see it too, and feel the spirit of love being sent right back to you.

I have reviewed your writings when you were here, but somehow missed this one. It is no longer missed, but you are, my friend.

You'll always be remembered, here! *Angel*

Beautiful poem, with a spiritual touch of love after loss. *Butterfly2P*


~Webbie


GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama




215
215
Review of Off the grid  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Norman!
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing this item because it really fit in nicely with my WDc Newsletter. Thus, Your poem has been highlighted in this week's Comedy Newsletter. I'm a bit late in sending this notice, but thought you'd like to know.

This was a fun read, fine rhyme, quick and quirky with good humor! *Ha*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
This is one of my new sigs



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
216
216
Review of Meditation  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there 🌕 HuntersMoon
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt! *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

Love the title "Meditation" I knew you'd bring the reader down memory lane of springs forward and past and the times enjoyed or missed but always bringing back those memories.

You combine the nature with the images of the times of dancing in the rain.

Further Impressions:

You chose a Villanelle form of poetry.

I loved the smooth rhythm and rhyme.

I really loved the refrains used:

"bringing bygone visions into my sight."

"gossamer rainbows shimmer in the light."

Simply beautiful!

Other Favorite Parts:

arcane mystic droplets pull at my mind

forgotten sorrows and joys are entwined

Vague wisps of what was begin to rewind

All very well woven into the lines to bring the reader into the the life cycle which renewal is ever present after the winter's past. Love and loss, yet the promise of fresh beginnings come with spring. It's alive with nourishing rain, colors bursting forth ... all adding to make the memories sweeter rather than sorrowful.

Conclusion:

Beautifully done! *Butterfly2B*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
217
217
Review of Remembrance  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Windtalker

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our Poetry Month prompt in April. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

Love the title, it evokes thoughts of memories of people and times gone by. Your brief description shows the reader it is indeed a dual meaning of springs rebirth and remembrance of one who has passed on. It is the circle of life, and spring is always the time of rebirth.

Further Thoughts:

You chose a Villanelle form of poetry.

The rhythm and rhyme pattern is beautifully done. It paints vivid imagery that evokes both joy and sadness within its lines.

The joy of spring and the sounds and sites of the sea, as well as one of the refrain lines which is a reminder that there is a mourning as well. "in the mourning darkness heard, it is that night."


My Favorite Parts:


a godwit's peeps or the gull's shrill singing ...

so many gilded, silvered fish in the shallows finning

Remember to live life by faith and not by sight,

And of course the other alternating refrain: the clear clang of a bay's red buoy bright.

Conclusion:

Beautifully done! It brought both tears of hope and the misty eyes of sadness all at the same time. *ScallopT*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
218
218
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Prosperous Snow celebrating
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt. *Bigsmile*

You chose a Vilanelle:

It is beautifully crafted an embodies the senses that mingle within our spirit regarding the month of April.

The "Bones" of the Vilanelle:
5 tercets followed by quatrain with 2 repeating rhyme and 2 refrains.

Your poem does this handily!

Further Thoughts:

I loved the refrain chosen.

"Inhale the petrichor perfume of dawn."

Petrichor,thoughts of that very first spring rain which has an unmistakable scent. Excellent word choice.

Conclusion:

Very well done, indeed! I felt April within every fiber of my being. *Flowerw*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
219
219
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there GERVIC 🐉 WDC Dragon Vale

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at "The Bard's Hall Contest"  Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

"Springtime in the Tropics" It got me to thinking about how different April is in the tropics than so many other regions around the globe. It is of course that way where I reside half a year -- South Florida. It feels like summer in April.

Poetry Form:

You chose a sonnet. You have three quatrains and a couplet, 14 lines.

It has the magic of lyrics woven within.

Favorite Parts:

"Perhaps the deities sprinkled some magic
To please the gods with the grandest display"

"Of verdant plated prairies and meadows
Perfectly complements the azure sky.

These lines jumped out as true visual delights! Loved the azure sky.

Conclusion:

Well woven words to paint a beautiful scene of April in the tropics.


Nicely done! *Butterfly2V*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
220
220
Review of Manna  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Dave

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item as a judge at T"The Bard's Hall Contest"  . Thank you for entering our April Poetry Month prompt.

You have chosen a Sapphic.

You completed this poetic form handily with the accentual syllabic meter.

The complete design inspires the meaning of April's spring renewal after a winter's sleep of nature.

Well-chosen words provide impact and a cadence that keeps the rhythm beating within the reader's mind's eye.

Loved these lines:

Bloated skies release the elixir needed.

Nature's manna nourishes sacred treasure,

Daffodil delivers a pollen luncheon--
mutual comfort.

nature's bountiful sacred treasure.


I breathed the breath of spring while reading this refreshing poem.

Conclusion:

Wonderful job with this form!

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
221
221
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there James Heyward
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

The image of the bridal gown and the title with brief description captured my curiosity.

The fact that it was listed under the Genre Horror/Scary really clinched it. I had to dive right in!

Further Impressions:

I loved the building up of the mystery surrounding his nightmares. His self-loathing and still, the attempt to convince himself he had done much more good in his life than what had transpired 35 years, prior.

I could feel his struggle and pain. Your descriptions pull the reader right into the scene.


Observations:

A few Grammatical errors needing attention.

“What a thin, flimsy things your love was, Sandra." "Thing" should be singular as used in this sentence.

"He made no considerable attempt (at)discretion; if a floorboard creaked, no one noticed."

"The shot crashed the stillness of the cottage, and on the wedding gown blood splatter bloomed like red, poison roses." Spatter, not "splatter" I've watched lots of Dexter. *Laugh*

"Turning off his bathroom light, he stepped back into the bedroom..."

Parting Thoughts:

This is a good horror story. It has great bones! It just needs some edit spots here and there to make the read smoother. *SwordL*

Conclusion:

Good job! *Poison*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
222
222
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Angel&Witch


Hello there Lynn

Welcome to WDC! *StarB*
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

First Impressions:

I felt like I was going down that dark tunnel of trying to shop when Covid 19 first hit. The idea of masks, disinfectant, six feet apart and up and down marked aisles in the grocery stores were surreal to say the least.

Further Impressions:

Amazon became my best friend for all things canned and with a long shelf life. Also, I ordered bulk paper goods -- still have some stored away, I believe. I see you opted for Target, there wasn't one close by in my very rural area.


Parting Thoughts:

I loved the realism you wove into your story. The cat needing to get those probiotics into the system, added to everything else to be dealt with, made this story come through brilliantly. Yes, meat is important if you enjoy cooking and having something to go along with the frozen veggies. The early a.m. time to get it made me too sleepy to imagine. I am night hawk, myself. *Laugh*


Conclusion:

Very nicely done! I saw no errors that jumped out at me. Probably because I was too focused on the intensity of the story. *Quill*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
223
223
Review of Nighttime  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Angel&Witch



Hello there Norman

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review! *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

I loved the images you painted with your words in this poem. It exudes mischievousness as well as the innocence of a child.

Here, the child loves exploring the dark quiet city nights. The reader is not privy to the fact that the narrator is a child until the very end, but is intrigued with the rhythm of the poem and is pleasantly surprised. *Ha*

Observation:

I peeked into each windowpane
as I passed by each house.

The repeated word within those two consecutive lines gave me pause. I think one can be easily removed without messing up the rhythm.


TRY:

I peeked in every windowpane
as I passed by each house

"Every" replacing the word "each" on the line above.

Just my observation. You may find a better way to reorganize the lines. *Smile*

The ending is adorable and pulled the poem together neatly.

Well done! *DragonflyG*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
224
224
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Angel&Witch



Hello there jonblair
This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review *Angelic*

I am also reviewing your item because it popped up on the Random Read & Review. *Bigsmile*

Initial Impressions:

I love detective stories--wrote a few myself.

Matt Duggan is the detective in this series.

Further Observations:

Since this is a series of stories with this character, I have missed the first two. Random does mean exactly that ...random. I decided to read this third entry to get a taste what the series would be like.

There is a murder and he is the detective taking the first crime scene observations.


Observations:

The neglected hanger bay parking lot began to light up up like a hastily, unplanned Christmas event as one emergency and police vehicle after another, sirens blaring, lights flashing, dutifully followed the other onto the worn out asphalt next to the abandoned hanger.

"hanger" is what a person hangs shirts on. "Hangar" would be the appropriate word to use for abandoned airport hangar.

There were several mentions of this word so you'll want to read through it again to catch them all.

Also, Neglected/abandoned hangar, used in the same paragraph. One well-placed is sufficient. Thus, writing tighter and removing unnecessary words would be helpful for the smooth reading of this story. I mentioned those in particular, however, there were other spots that could use less repetitive words close together.

Parting Thoughts:

You lead the read into a crime scene and cleverly let the reader know that the excitement continues in the next part. Thankfully you dropped the link so a reader may continue forward in the series.

Cool mystery detective series! *Cool*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
225
225
Review of I Am Bi.....  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Angel&Witch




Hello there SandraLynn Team Florent!

This is a
GROUP
The WDC Angel Army  (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama
Review!

I am also reviewing your ite because it popped up on the Random Read & Review.

This was such a humorous look into life from the eyes of a klutz. I say this because I have had the reputation for being one myself.

I loved the examples used to show a reader how the feet tend to not work in concert with the rest of the body when it wants to ambulate. *Laugh*


Observation:

I found a grammar error of two along the way. One particularly example jumped out at me.

"Amazingly, before I crashed to the last step, ( and risked far more than fresh bruises )

Commas should never be placed before parentheses.

Also, one form should be used on WDC for easier reading, two spaces entered between paragraphs rather than indent and spaces used. Some of the ends of sentences look a little orphaned that way. *Cry*

Parting Thoughts:

This was a fun read and so close to true for so many of us fellow klutzes.

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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