First Kiss

I remember well, a cold day many moons ago.  The images still resonate deep with my mind, forever anchored to my mortal soul.  I was young then, the bitter poisons of life had yet to dim to the fire in my eyes.  Let me take you back now, to the most glorious day I have ever known…….

Blades of grass shattered beneath my feet, like tiny crystals as I walked.  I was longing for her again, as I did ever waking moment.  Sara, my beloved angel, she was like a gift sent from god, sadly she knew not of her majesty.  We met a few years earlier at a function hosted by our university.  We talked for a while that night, making idle conversation as nervous kids often do.  I must have said something funny, exactly what eludes me now, but she smiled.  I stopped, suspended in time before her, and I stared. She blushed, covered her mouth and turned away. “Please”, I said aloud without thinking. “Don’t cover something so radiant, so perfect”.  She blushed a bit more and walked away.  I wish I could tell you we fell in love right then and there, but that simply was not the case.

We went about our lives from that moment.  We talked occasionally at first, in passing mostly.  As time went on, we had become the closest of friends.  I headed out into the frigid cold to see her once.  As the wind slashed through my best attempts to keep warm, I heard only her voice in my head.  Her laughter, and soft tone, I had come to tell her I loved her.  I stood outside the building in which she had class that evening, I knew she would be there.  I would take my chance, I would tell her I loved her, and nothing would stop me this night.  Nothing that is, except for the stranger who waited on the stairs of the building.  As Sara and her classmates exited the building, he got up and wrapped his arms around my angel.  She giggled and playfully fought against his grasp.  The night had shielded me, she could not see me through the darkness, and for this I am happy. 

We didn’t see each other much after that night.  Sara, of course had several boyfriends before, but she always introduced me to them.  This one was different, I didn’t even know his name.  My dearest love had become to busy for me, to madly in love with this unknown interloper.  About a month later, as I walked through the local park, I spotted Sara, alone by the fountain.  I had to talk to her, I was sure that good old what’s his name was near by, but I didn’t care.  As I approached, I noticed her head was resting in her hands, she was crying.  “Sara?”. I spoke as gently as I could, not to startle her.  “What’s wrong?”.  The mid-day sun shone down upon us, and the brisk January air was relentless.  “He has been seeing someone else this whole time!”, she sobbed.  How could any man ever take for granted a precious gift such as love?  I sat beside her, and held her in my arms.  I wanted to tell her how I loved her, how she was the only star I could ever see in the night sky, but, I couldn’t.

Sara, always the resilient type, picked herself up.  A few weeks later, the fourth of February to be exact.  As the sun was beginning to set, and the last shadow of the day stretched out across the park.  I was sitting at the very fountain, where I couldn’t say to her all the things I felt.  Sara came up, I hadn’t noticed at first, ironically I was lost in thoughts of Sara.  “Tell me” she abruptly said aloud.  “Tell you what?”, I felt as if I had missed some important part of this conversation.  “Damn it!” she shouted so all the angels in heaven and the demons in hell could hear her.  She turned and began to walk away.  “Sara!….wait”.  She turned to me again with tears in her eyes, I knew what I must do.  “Sara, you know not how long I have wanted to utter these words to you.  Your smile brings meaning to my life.  Your laughter givens me strength to continue when the road is too long.  You, make me stand here, on this winters night, and say…….I love you.”  I couldn’t believe I had finally said it.  Her face was blank, had I made some grave mistake?  After what seemed an eternity of silence, she giggled a bit.  “I thought…” she began quietly, “I thought that maybe you knew where my research materials were. I lost them last week, and and….” Oh, my god what had I done? I tried to say something, anything, but the words wouldn’t come out.  She walked to me, and looked me straight in the eye, and with a stare that could give the devil chills she said….nothing.  She stood before me, my secret finally unleashed.  The sun had disappeared behind some buildings by now, and as the creeping cloak of darkness fell around us, she kissed me. 

I remember it so well to this day, the way her lips set free my soul.  Even in the diminished light of early dusk, I could see forever in her eyes.  That was a long time ago, my friends.  Everyday for twenty-five years, I have kissed that woman, my angel, my Sara. So here is to all of you lovers in the room, and to my angel, my wife, my beloved Sara, may love grow forever from the seed planted by loves first kiss.  May you nurture it, and tend to it with kindness and be its humbled patron.  Twenty-five years have come and gone, here is to twenty-five more……….