Chapter 28

I wake up, and look at the clock, I didn't set an alarm
because I figured I would be waking up way before noon. Which
is the case, I realize that it is only 9:00, I think about
setting the alarm for 10:30 and trying to go back to sleep for
another hour and a half. I have no clue what time I finally
fell asleep last night, I was tossing and turning, and my
meditation music was working on my nerves. I knew I couldn't
turn it off though, because I know from trying in the past to
go to sleep without it that it drives me even more batty
without it. It is so funny how you can become so accustomed
to something, to the point that you can't function without it.
I was never one to listen to any type of noise to fall asleep,
then I started with a fan for white noise and then I read
about meditation music and the rest is history.
I find it very odd too that I don't remember having any dreams
last night, and I thought for sure I was going to have an
abundant amount of dreams. I just wasn't sure if they were
going to be good or bad, I figured maybe an assortment of
both, but there were none. None that I remember anyway, which
to me is a good thing because I would just be stressing out
over the bad ones and thinking they might happen. I'm nervous
about the whole date, worrying about the normal dumb stuff
like what if I run out of things to say, what if I make a fool
out of myself by doing something stupid, you know all the
normal first date worries. Then I have some Sophie worries in
there like, what if I laugh and pee my pants, what if when I
talk a spit bomb shoots out my mouth, or if I sneeze I have a
booger hanging out my nose that I am unaware of. In case you
are wondering a spit, bomb is that little bit of spit that
comes flying out of your mouth while you are talking. Gross
but I know it has happened to everyone, it is even worse when
you are on the receiving end, especially if it is a gross
person that is talking to you.
I decide I won't set my alarm but just chill out in my bed for
a while, I flip on my television in my bedroom and find my
favorite channel. I might as well relax and spend some time
with Brandi, she will be lost, it is not very often that mommy

goes out for a long period of time on the weekends. I am sure
that she seriously doesn't give a rat's ass that I am not
there, if I feed here before I leave. I decide I won't feed
her first thing this morning, and that is the reason she is on
the floor looking up at me like, excuse me. But I will feed
her closer to the time I am leaving that way she won't be
hungry if I get home later than I expect to be home.
I still wonder what he has planned for today, it is driving me
crazy. I really don't like surprises, I feel like I am
unprepared if that makes any sense. I don't like getting
gifts either, I would rather give than receive, I mean when I
get gifts I like it, but on Christmas and my Birthday I don't
like to be the center of attention. At Christmas I always try
to open my gifts while someone else is opening theirs that way
not everyone is watching me.
The things I think about sometimes, thoughts from the abyss
just come flying into my head with no rhyme or reason. I
swear I have some sort of disorder, but they haven't diagnosed
it yet. I'm glad though that the weather is cooperating with
us today, I just seen the weather for our area on the TV and
it looks like it is going to be sunny and a high of 73. Holy
shit the weather man was right, it is a miracle, maybe a sign
that today will be a positive and happy day. Possibly even
the start of something good and long lasting, I hope it is I
really don't want to keep on doing this dating bull shit. I
think that if this falls through I will give up dating until I
turn 60, then maybe it would be easier.
I know they have created a woman robot that one can buy, and
it can be your companion, maybe by the time I turn 60 or even
before they will invent a male robot with working anatomically
correct body parts then I won't need to go through all the
dating bullshit. That would replace B.O.B., the Battery-
Operated Boyfriend, nice way of saying dildo. Wonder what the
robot would be called?

Well it looks like Brandi got sick of sitting on the floor
staring at me, she decided to jump up next to me and ask for
some loving. I start to pet her, and she crawls up on my
stomach and lays down facing me, her little motorboat purring
is kicking in. She is such an awesome companion, I don't know
how I managed before I had her. I guess it's just that I had
no clue what I was missing, I mean for a short time I had a
fish, but that isn't really a pet. I was really upset though
the day I came home from work and he was floating, it's so odd
because he seemed perfectly fine that morning when I fed him.
I really felt guilty flushing him down the toilet too, it just
seems so wrong. But I wasn't going to find an area around our
apartment complex to dig a hole and bury Gill. That was when
I decided to go to the shelter and see what they had there, I
wanted to take a step up. I was leaning towards a cat,
kitten, or a rabbit. I wasn't sure of the dog policy here and
I didn't want to go that far, because of living alone and on
the occasions when I would work late if I wasn't home in time
to take the dog out. So, I decided on Brandi the moment I
laid eyes on her, and I'm glad I did.
Wow, this show is ridiculous. They are talking about a guy
that was killing women, violently killing them almost
overkill. After they were dead he would rape them, what kind
of sick mind does a person like that have to have. What would
even possess someone not only to take someone's life and in
such a violent way, but then rape them after they were dead.
Good God there are some unbelievably disturbed people in this
world. I wonder though how they can tell during the autopsy
that the women were raped after they had been dead. That I
must admit is another thing that amazes me, how far we have
come with DNA testing and forensics. That is such an awesome
thing, because now a days it is hard to get away with this
shit, and they catch the mother fuckers not like years ago
when people would get away with it. But again, this story
brings me back to that young girl driving for Uber. This shit
is the exact shit that I meant about her being alone and not
knowing who the fuck she is going to be picking up. No shit,
this is no joke now a days, seriously.
I wonder if I should give my parents a call, I am worried that
if I don't my mom may try to call me. Weekends are my usual

call my parents’ days, or maybe I could wait until tomorrow.
Maybe that would be the better option, because then I will
know if the date went well and I can tell her about Warren or
not. I will shoot her a short text just to let her know I
will call her tomorrow and that I have plans today with a
friend. That's all she needs to know for now, I am sure she
will wonder who the friend is she knows I only associate
pretty much with Janet at work. But then at least I can say
if the date turns out badly that it was Janet that I went out
with.
As I texted my mom I realized that it is only going on 10:00,
oh my God can the time go any slower. I am getting very
anxious, I want to get up and get ready for this date. I
wonder if he is a good driver, I mean the guy did run in the
back of me at a red light. Ok here you go again, stop
thinking. Just sit here and enjoy your television shows or
get up and start to get ready. I think the idea of getting up
and getting ready isn't such a bad idea. I mean it is going
to take more time than it normally does, today is a special
day, where I put a little more effort into my hair and makeup.
I turn off the tv and fix the bed, head out to feed Brandi who
has beaten me into the kitchen. I give her some treats to
hold her over and tell her she will have to wait a little
longer for her food but agree to give her a little extra. I
decide to pop at least a piece of bread into the toaster and
grab a can of soda with caffeine. I don't feel like making a
whole or half a pot of coffee because at the most I will only
drink 2 cups. I eat my toast and carry the soda with me back
to the bathroom. Now to find all the equipment I need to get
ready.
I search high and low for my curling iron, I know for a fact I
have one, but I don't remember where I put it, it has been so
long since I last used it. I finally find it on the top shelf
in my closet over top of my hanging clothing, why in God's
name did I put that in there. Oh well I found it that is the
important part. I have long hair, it almost goes down to my
waist, it is a dirty blonde to light brown. I am wondering if

I should pull them into a pony tail or just let them loose, I
decide to pull them up that way they will not be in the way.
Next is to hunt down my makeup which I find still in the one
drawer in my bathroom. I look at the objects and wonder if
this stuff has an expiration date and make a mental note to
buy new stuff and throw out this older stuff in case it does
indeed have an expiration. I begin to hope that I don’t end
up with some horrible rash because this shit is out dated.
Well too late now it’s either use it or go without.
I jump in the shower and begin the job of trying to make
myself beautiful, ok not beautiful presentable. It’s not like
I am a miracle worker or a plastic surgeon I can’t perform a
miracle like that in the time I have, I laugh at myself.