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 Day to day stuff....a memoir without order. |
 Imagination is described by Webster as...The act or power of forming a mental image of something not present to the senses in reality. Albert Einstein said "Logic will get you from A to B, but imagination will take you everywhere."  I never realized it until I read it somewhere but there are ways to boost one's imagination: Create a visual journal Draw whatever you see for 15 minutes a day. You don't need to be an artist. Think like an artist Cut out pictures from magazines & piece them together to create an original image. Listen to Bach Close your eyes while playing your favorite music. Or listen to the sounds of nature on a CD or in the great outdoors. Play word games Try thinking of as many words as you can that begin with MAR...or you pick. Daydream Let your mind wander, or focus on a single object & study its characteristics.     Everyone has a story....here's mine.....c ** Image ID #1701066 Unavailable **  |
| While my kids were here, they both remarked, "Gosh, Mom, you can see everything that goes on from your computer chair." Yes, I think that is probably true, that is, if I'm looking. The window faces the street in front of my house, the main street into our subdivision. But my interest revolves around what I may be doing on the computer or the multiple birds eating at the feeder just outside. Once in a while something unusual or noisy catches my attention, and, probably, I have made note of it here in my blog, not unlike many of you...which brings me to my subject today. We are always reading things about how unique each of us is, how no two people are exactly alike. In the last few weeks, I have realized how much alike we all really are. I read or listen to how others have dealt with loss and find the exact same things are happening to me. Lisa, in my grief support group, remarked how she had her favorite picture prominently displayed. I did the same, even enlarging it. We both want to remember the healthy well person we fell in love with. Others try to stay busy....me, too. Others wallow in self-pity, me, too. Little things, stupid things, send me over the edge and into a crying jag, things that jog a special memory. Seeing others doing things with their spouses leaves me sad and resentful. But there has been a wonderful thing happen. I realize people really care and many of them truly understand what I am going through. For this I am so grateful... until next time....c |
I now have the photo of Jim in my port. You can see it here, "My Jim"  . Sorry if the facebook link was confusing.What is amazing to me is how life goes on around me so normally, as though nothing has changed. My grass still needs mowing, the birds continue to eat from my feeders and drink from the baths, cars go up and down in front of my house, politicians continue to call at dinnertime, prerecorded, of course. Things are so routine. They don't know my life has a big hole in it. I look for distractions like what I am doing now. However long I can keep this going, I don't have to think about how my life has changed. I haven't turned loose of the hope that it's not really true. It's just some horrible joke, or a nightmare. I try to find things to do to keep from thinking, but the things get done and then.... |
| I cant' seem to get enough words out for a blog, but if you'd like to see my Jim when he was in his thirties, look here, http://www.facebook.com/morrison.connie. Wasn't he handsome? I miss him so much! |
| I finally got around to fixing my hummingbird feeder, but no sign of Mr. (or Mrs.) Hummingbird yet. I'm mezmerized by the bright, strawberry-red water. It reflects everything around it, only upside down, a twinkling, sun-drenched red teardrop. I'm trimming the shrubs out front one at a time. It's all I can stand in this heat. The rain gave them a huge growth spurt. Plus, I have to check in on Jim every few minutes. Eventually, I will get them done. Two homes across the street from me are empty, vacated by tenants, repossessed by banks, I think. Oodles of work is being done on one of them. I remember the original owners of that one, named Misconi, Irene and ?, not sure of his name. One was Iranian and one was Iraquian (sic), a funny combination that stuck in my brain. Irene and I were neighborly acquainted. She was a librarian, but they have been gone a long time, moved somewhere around Daytona, I think, in the 90's. The house has changed hands several times, a little farther downhill with each new owner. During one bad hurricane, water covered the front yard and nearly swallowed the mailbox. The house sets close to the entrance of my development, and the street was so flooded, we had no exit to the main street beyond. The golf course next door was kind enough to allow all of us to exit and enter across their golf cart trails. That was interesting....very narrow, one way driving. But it worked while necessary and everyone was very appreciative. People can be really nice, polite, and courteous when they want to be. The emergency brought out the best in most of us. The worst thing I remember from that storm was the noise. The neighbor to our left had a generator (our power was out three days). He positioned it just outside his garage door (with the door down of course do he could not hear it as well). His garage was next to our bedroom...ugh....I can still hear it. It ran constantly. We had fallen pine limbs upon pine limbs to wheelbarrow and haul out to the curb to be picked up...mountains of them. They could be no longer than four feet, and we had to saw many of them into smaller pieces. But the smell was amazing...fresh pine rosin in the air for days afterward. Actually, it's very unusual for hurricanes to affect us much since we are in the center of the northern part of Florida...hope we never have another. until next time....c |
| I've read a lot of different things by a lot of different authors during the last couple of weeks about writing. The gist of it is that most of us think if we write something, we have to do it perfectly in order for it to be worthwhile. I find this thought carries over to many other things I have tried during my lifetime. But as it applies to writing, it certainly can lead to writer's block...even in this blog! I forgot to post my Zen Cat inspiration for July (I cannot believe it is already the ninth). "Golden Moments arise spontaneously in the Oneness of Meditation."....Honshin. Zen Cat knows all things are transitory. Random inspirations lead to originality. I look into Mopsy's eyes and see Zen Cat. I want to be perfect when I write a story, but I'm afraid if I wait for perfection, I will write no story. I want to write a story the same way I draw or paint a picture. The picture is never perfect and looks like nothing in the beginning, but after some intense concentration and effort, it takes shape and everyone can tell what it is. I want to write a story like this. Reading about writing may be a good thing, but I think actually writing, perfect or imperfect or somewhere in between, is the most important thing. until next time....c |
I was thinking today back to July fourths of my childhood, and I can't remember celebrating all that much. In fact, I don't remember celebrating July 4th at all except to go to the beach. Maybe that was how we celebrated it  . So I asked Jim what his family did when he was little (since in Beckley, W.V., they had no beach to go to), and he said they always celebrated BIG TIME, meaning lots of food, home-made ice cream, fried chicken, and fireworks. Hmmm. At any rate, I don't feel like I really missed anythingOur daughter called last Friday and said it was 102 degrees in Delaware. Wow, I never remember it being over one hundred for the thirty plus years I lived there. And all these storms and fires. We had oodles of rain from Debby. Four named storms in June is unheard of. What is going on? I just finished a pretty good book titled Ellis Island although things worked out a little too conveniently for the main character. I hate when I read all the way through and everything falls into place perfectly. I think I need to take that advice myself. Happy endings can be dull...and a sort of letdown. I'm still working my way through William Zinsser's Writing About Your Life. More on that later. I hope everyone has a wonderful fourth no matter how you celebrate and even if you don't. until next time....c |
| I have what is called a garden window next to my kitchen table. They were very popular when we built our house in the 80's and are intended as a sunny spot for house plants. However, mine is on the south side, not a comfortable condition for house plants in Florida. I have filled the shelves with assorted colored glass. I love the rainbow effect when the sun shines through. Today, for lunch, I was sitting at the table fixing some tuna salad when I happened to look up and saw a beautiful hummingbird about two inches from the glass looking inside. He (or she) must have thought the colored glass objects were flowers. He hovered around for several seconds and continued to come back several times. I had a birds' eye view. I called Mopsy (I do this a lot and she responds like a shot) and she was fascinated as well. The hummingbird didn't mind her at all. In fact, I think he enjoyed showing off.  . I have a hummingbird feeder, but haven't seen any in so long I have neglected to put it out. Mr Hummingbird has given me some incentive to dig it out and fill it up. I think I'll put it near the garden window and maybe he will be back soon.until next time...c |
| I just watched the Nightly News on ABC and was shocked and upset by a video they showed involving a school bus monitor and bullying by middle school students. What made it so personally upsetting to me was the age and gender of the monitor, 68 and female, and a grandmom. Students on the bus were shown poking her with a book, making fun of her "flabby fat", calling her other "fat" names, for twenty minutes! I was aghast! To her credit, she never lost her temper or tried to retaliate in any way that I saw on the video. She must have had willpower of steel! The video apparently came from another student who ended up posting it on Facebook. I think it happened in a suburb of Rochester, N.Y. I shudder to think it's possible one of these very students could someday be President of the United States or, even worse, on the Supreme Court. It is amazing how mean people can be when they are in a group and think they have backup. I intend to follow this story to see what the school does for punishment, if anything. Boy, wouldn't that be sad if they do nothing... And I wonder how many times things like this happen without being videoed? until next time...c  |
| My respite lady, Dana, came today at 12 to stay with Jim. I had several errands planned, the first being a visit to the library. I had lots to return, some dangerously close to being past due. My library has installed a new soflware system and us patrons have been "babysitting" books during the changover. So with Dana at home I had plenty of lackadaisical browsing time on my hands, a wonderful thing. I found a book on writing memoirs by William Zinsser, Writing About Your Life. I've read the first few pages and it looks pretty interesting. He writes about things from his own life, tells why he chose them, gives hints on how to "think" of memories and how to organize them into a memoir...looks very helpful. Also, I picked up a couple of mysteries, Butchers Hill by Laura Lippman, and Dead Like You by Peter James. I have to admit the last one was a mistake. I was looking at mysteries by P.D. James and picked up this one without realizing the first name was Peter...ohoh. Who knows, it may turn out to be even better . I love to read mysteries but have never tried to write one.Then I went to a "pay for" bookstore to look for a b-day present for our daughter. They have all kinds of neat things...wow, I just looked out my window and saw the most beautiful red sunset over the pine trees! What's that saying...red sky by morning, sailors take warning, red sky at night, sailors delight...definitely a delight! So after much searching I found something I thought she might like and got the cutest b-day card ever. It shows the back of a cat (suspicously looking like Mopsy) holding a shotgun pointed at a mousehole in the baseboard and says, "You better have a happy birthday or else!" I know, I know, it doesn't sound that funny...you'd have to know Mopsy!  Then it was off to Home Depot for some mulch and another plant, this time a red hibiscus. I spent a little too much time traipsing around the garden center in 95 degree heat, and it almost did me in. I forgot to eat lunch or bring water. I decided to go by Publix and pick up a snack to get revived...crackers and a grapefruit drink. Then I went next door to the post office and mailed the present. So I got lots of things taken care of. My gas gauge was at half full (or half empty, depending on your point of view) and I couldn't make up my mind whether to fill up or not. The price was $3.41. I opted not to thinking it may go down a little more, probably the wrong decision but we'll see. On my next respite time, I'll need to get the oil changed, not a fun time  .Thank heavens I've got some new books to read...PBS and TCM have been sucky lately. I have become addicted to a new show called Longmire on A&E on Sunday nights at 10. It's set in Wyoming, beautiful backdrops. I think it's the westerny atmosphere I like. Well, my books are calling me. so.... until next time...c |
| I wrote an article last year on Father's Day and how it came about, "Father's Day" , and it has made me smile to see how many hits it is getting. I even updated it for the current year. It's really nice when people are looking at your "stuff" without encouragement . I hope all the Dads out there had a terrific and memorable Father's Day this year! This afternoon I was trolling through some photo albums and came across this old picture of my Jim. He was probably about thirty years old, and I pulled it out to get a closer look. I don't know why but I turned it over and there on the back I recognized these words written by our daughter, My handsome Dad. From the looks of the writing, she must have been about eight or nine. I sped into the bedroom where Jim was resting and shared it with him. I got a huge flash of the happy, proud Dad face. It was great...he has been so down lately and not feeling good. Then I had to scan it and email (front and back) to our daughter. Her reaction was just like Jim's. She remembered writing it and thinking he looked like a movie star. What a great Dad's day! until next time...c |
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