Actually, Prosperous Snow, I like it just the way it is right now. It gives an interesting twist on a very familiar story. It makes it sound like the cat is really over any residual fear and is now ready for "some serious business."
Forgive me, but the tension between the present and the potential future makes me wonder if the title would be more accurately served to be instead, "Whirled Pieces." XD
In a slightly humorous way, all war seems to be living out the phrase, "Fighting likes cats and dogs!"
However, world peace has truly come to my home. Every day I have the privilege of seeing three cats nuzzling up to our Australian Shepherd, enjoying very peaceful naps. :D
The brisk cadence and free verse style married with the subject quite handily. Nice job! :)
We start with the rose, moving to the snow drop, then landing on the "climbing white jasmine," where the rest of this free verse poem is an exultant dance, extolling the love of our children. Family love lasts forever! It is unconditional. There are no strings attached.
Technically-speaking, this is free verse and no perceivable rhythm nor rhyme of which I am aware. Yet, these facts play well with the theme of unconditional love in which no expectations are placed upon the loved one.
I, too, have found it encouraging to write, especially since speaking has often been difficult in my life. It has been very intimidating to look people in the eyes. With writing, I don't have to look at anyone to express my thoughts.
The diligence and camaraderie with other children, regarding your writing, is a great example for children and adults, who think writing might be a skill for them.
The personal, conversational tone of the article draws the reader into your world. I, for one, am very grateful to visit there.
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