Wow! You've crafted an amazing set of verses here. Best of all, dragons are mentioned! I've always thought dragons are noble creatures, seeking to teach humans through words!
Perhaps you are a dragon in disguise attempting to teach us mortal writers a thing or two! Anyway, the imagery was brilliant! I now have a picture of an enormous dragon hunched over a computer keyboard!
Children would really love this I think. As I read through it I was reminded of 'Room on the Broom', yet this poem has a style all of its own. It is very catchy, flows very well. The rhymes interspersed throughout the entirety of the verses are enchanting enough for young children and adults alike.
Ever thought of extending this into a book for young kids. Yet this poem is also bittersweet, the part at the very end, that all of us have to grow up sometime! Even when we don't wish to do so.
Wow, I wondered who did all the Jane Austen stuff and group related items here on WDC! Didn't realize it was you. I can see you are passionate about Jane Austen. I admit her books are fantastic. You seem to know more about Jane Austen than I do. Just one question, have you written any fanfictions based on Jane Austen's work?
If you have, I'd like to read a few. Just read through your newsletter, you have. I'll make a point to check that out later.
Congratulations on a fine, well written upload here on WDC. I see you joined a day or so ago and here you've produced this fine effort. The magic system is one I haven't seen before, splitting a soul to trigger a magical gift.
You've obviously spent time on this, a sense of world building is evident. I could see that as I read through the chapter. Plus did you do research for different types of tribal societies to create the one shown here?
Is a Duniya an Earth Elemental or just a name for the type of Soul Splitter Talasi is? Plus if you are creating a unique language for what seems to be a novel, will there be explanations as the novel develops? Sorry for the questions, I feel this book will be a great read!
Well done on uploading such a great piece for a new member. Why this only received only 3 and a half stars is beyond me, but I was hooked when I read the Author's Note at the very beginning. Well done on taking up the call of a novel began years ago. You've put a lot of thought into this and I am looking forward to how you'll develop this!
Nice little Haiku poem you've written here. I've always felt that flowers are a gift from Nature to human beings, to remind us in a way that despite the fact horrible events are occurring all around us, beauty is still present to remind us, not everything is bad.
After reading through this poem dedicated to going through the maddening trial that is NanoWriMo, I've come to realization.
My poetry writing skills are rather pathetic compared to your talents. In the verses that comprise this poem, you've managed to perfectly capture, I think you have anyway, the madness that calls itself NaNoWriMo.
And in reply to the question in the last part of this great poem, people who wrote their novels during NaNo, have been published!
I must say I rather like the idea for this novel. I do enjoy reading books of this type. I am a fan of the great works of Terry Brooks, author of the Shannara series of books. From what I see, I think your work is comparable to his.
It seems I've found an unexpected gem here on WDC! Even just by reading the detailed preface, I can see the time and effort you've taken to craft this.
This brings back memories of my childhood during the 1980/1990 decades. I loved watching this show during the weekend, once school was done for the week. As I write this, the theme tune is running through my head! Some of the best shows I've watched have been from the above mentioned period!
I've uhm, done a few of these. I think I can add to this list a little bit.
1)You don't remember accidentally putting the TV remote in the salad drawer in the refrigerator, then tearing your hair out convinced you left it in the front room!
2)Locking your keys inside the house and then having to wait six hours for your mum, brother or sister to come and let you in!
3)Finding your cat in the washing machine/tumble dryer.
4)Finding the dirty plates from last nights dinner in the fridge!
For a prologue this is very well crafted. Leom the elderly goat herder is a defined in a great way from the first few paragraphs. The way you've put how he feels his apparently old age is wonderfully done. You have a way of describing scenery that I am slightly jealous of!
I enjoyed the air of mystery when Leom and his dog Auld stumble across the young boy with extreme memory loss. Will Leom become a mentor type figure to the lad as he tries to recover his lost past?
From the sounds of it, the recent days that Jed cannot recall seem to be violent ones, due to the cuts he has somehow acquired. Thanks for such a great read and I am eager for more!
There were a couple of errors, but they didn't detract from the enjoyment of the chapter.
A big thanks to you StoryMistress for creating this wonderful guide for those, who like me, even after being on this lovely site for more than a year, still has problems with linking etc. This is a most useful guide you and the others have created for us all to read. This is being placed on my faves list so I can reference this as required!
Man my score was terrible! Good bit of fun you've created here StoryMaster! Got anymore fun quizzes to do! Thanks for taking the time to craft and upload this, I enjoyed it immensely. Guess I need to go and read tons more about Writing.com lols. Hope I do better next time!
Thanks for putting this up Mrs Battywyn. This is the first time I have ever undertaken the OctoPrep challenge and already I can see the usefulness of this challenge. I just wish I had discovered WDC and this years ago! Thanks again for creating and taking the time to make this for us here on WDC!
I really like this. For a first upload, this opening chapter is finely crafted. I do like to read and enjoy epic fantasy books with magic galore. This seems to have the potential to develop into one of those. You don't often see females as the main protagonists in a novel, novella, short story etc. But that isn't the case here. Addie as I'll call her, seems to be rather quiet and slightly shy, yet seems to have a quiet strength emanating from her very core.
I hope to see her character develop as the novel goes on. I checked your profile and I see you have more than one chapter uploaded here on WDC. That is fantastic, as I love to read long fantasy epics on a quiet afternoon. The beginnings of world building in this chapter are evident for the reader to glimpse, with little details interspersed with the plotline.
Reading about the plot and character arcs is going to be an experience I look forward to very much.
Thanks for writing, creating and uploading this on WDC for us all to read.
This was absolutely fantastic! I was laughing throughout the whole story. Poor Kyle, after encountering the wizard and rather hairy, mouthful of fangs creature acted as any normal human would.
With complete panic and feeling rather bewildered. I'd probably faint from shock! I couldn't see any errors or grammatical mistakes. Micheal the Wizard reminds me of another fantastic sorcerer I once read about - Belgarath.
I personally think Micheal is a younger and much more comedic version. He seems rather unflappable and able to keep a clear head in circumstances he found himself in.
I don't have to worry about grey hairs that much, I'm only 37! Sill having silver and grey bits running through your hair shows you've lived life and can give amazing advice to pesky youngsters such as myself! Even bacon sammie eating brits like me!
Wow this is a good one! Meeting Death in a Laundromat. Was your Grim Reaper inspired by the one from the great works of Terry Pratchett? I really liked the way you made Death here seem like a person who is just doing his laundry. The part which really made me laugh:
Grim wearing hot pink robes due to an underwear mishap by a previous user of the particulat machine he chose to use.
I was looking for stuff to review and came across this. What a find it was. Character charts are a good way for an aspiring author like me to at least, hopefully in my case, create some characters that can grow with time.
I'll be putting this item in my favourites list, plus checking out your portfolio to see if you have any more articles such as this. You've gained yourself a new fan!
THis is quite good from what I've managed to read of it. But the paragraphs are showing up as being too bunched together for me to read. For a first upload here on WDC, this is rather well written so far. If you ever space out the paragraphs, let me know. I'll definitely reread this. It has potential!
This article was rather informative. Thanks for posting this. It was a rather interesting read and raised some very interesting, yet good points. I should put in here that Anne McCaffrey, one of my favourite writers now passed from this world, does have a few female protagonists in her books. I've also come across an epic fantasy set in a world similar to India if I recall correctly.
But seriously, reading about characters from other backgrounds or with a disability would be fantastic! Thanks for posting such a wonderful article!
I was so awed and humbled after I read this. I remember watching the events of this on television all those years ago. This lovely and heartfelt poem is a wonderful way to remember those who helped others survive during that horrible time.
Thanks for sharing this with us today. By posting this, they'll be remembered by us all here on WDC.
This is brillantly thought out. I couldn't stop laughing as I read through this. If you ever turned this into a proper show and brought this to England, my autistic niece and nephew would love this very much! This is a rather fantstic way to teach children one of the traditional stories from childhood. Was there also a lesson in this piece?
Thanks again for posting this and making me smile today!
Thanks for sharing part of your life history with us here on WDC and POSTING it. I don't have Sturge-Webber Syndrome, but I do have epilepsy. I take anti-convulsants too. From reading this it seems you have a very strong will and vibrant personality. Nothing seems to stop you. You keep going. A lesson I have had to learn recently after having a seizure for the first time in nearly four years. Thanks for teaching me this most valuable lesson. Like you, I'll now keep on going. After all, my goal of writing my first novel won't accomplish itself now will it?
XD
I have given 5 stars for the wonderful lesson you've passed onto me.
For a short story this is rather good. I hope this is the full story as I found this to be well crafted and thought out. You've obviously done world-building for this and it shows in the little details sprinkled throughout the entirety of the story.
Does this story have influence from Greek legends as I recognize the name of the female protagonist. I couldn't see any obvious errors. Thanks for creating and uploading such an enjoyable story. I can see this a young adult fantasy book. ? Do you have plans to extend this at all?
Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/ashamoonfall/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.21 seconds at 11:53am on Jul 01, 2024 via server web1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
