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Review Requests: ON
1,186 Public Reviews Given
1,187 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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Review of Raindrops  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A poem from a single, simple thought. Probably how the best poems come to light.

It's a pretty thought and a vivid picture of the raindrops coursing down the window pane, a metaphor of our own lives running together and growing as we go. You communicate the thought so well.

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Review of Mistaken Identity  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
A clever little story with a satifying twist in the tail. I must admit that I began to suspect that the woman's gushing over the "movie star" was a trick to get rid of the salesman, but I don't think everyone will.

It remains a believable piece with effective dialogue. Obviously, that's a plus when ehtering this particular contest!

I found no flaws in grammar or construction and must give it five stars therefore.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a strange little tale, well told but rather hunting for a reason to be. The list of weird behaviour indulged in by the inhabitants of #19 gets longer and it's not until near the end that we find out the reason for this.

To be honest, I doubt that the reasons are sufficient to convince the reader, especially as the leader of the group loses interest and lets the activity return to normal. So I'm unsure that the story has enough to justify itself to the reader.

I do, however, like the style and idea behind the tale. Written in an eyewitness fashion, as though by a reporter, for instance, it has considerable power in catching the reader's interest and in being believable. It is a pity that the ending is not a bit stronger and more compelling.

With some thought, it should be possible to strengthen and re-write the ending with a more plausible explanation. As we say in WdC, keep writing!

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Review of It's All I Wanted  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have a similar relationship to the ocean. My first ten years were spent in Cape Town, at the foot of the African continent and with access to both the Atlantic and Indian Oceans. Then my father was promoted to a job a thousand miles from the sea and I saw the ocean rarely in the next twenty years.

When I returned to the land of my birth, England, fate settled me in the very centre of the country where it was several hours drive to the coast in any direction. We went often, even so, sometimes even taking a day to just see the ocean and returning late at night.

And my first months in the States were spent in Oklahoma, still a long way from the nearest ocean. That was when my one venture to the shore took me to Galveston, the place you mention in your piece. But now I live in Massachusetts, only a few miles from the coast and so, once again, as when I set out on this journey, I am but an hour's drive at most from the sea.

So I know of the feelings of which you speak. We do not die if kept from the ocean but, nevetheless, it is like an old friend that is a joy to return to whenever we can. I understand completely your need to see it again, even if only for a few hours.

And I know, too, of the departed world of which you speak. Yes, times have changed and people have closed up and become isolated as a response to the pressures put on them by the modern world. And that we cannot help. As the saying goes, you can't go home again.

A lovely piece that brought back many memories to me. You should keep writing and put down your memories so that they might be preserved for others to see how life once was.

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Review by Beholden
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
An interesting modern fable bearing some likeness to the Ancient Greek legends. It's well written and refuses to take the line of least resistance, the plot frequently departing from the expected line. The surprises engendered by this keep the reader interested right to the end, where the biggest surprise awaits!

Fantasy in short story form departs from the normal rules of the form and of its own genre. In so few words, it is impossible to build depth into a fantasy world and so the writer must rely on certain aspects that are known from traditional flights of fantasy, in this case, the minotaur. I think this is the first minotaur story in which the monster is given a voice but it makes sense to me that he should have one, considering his human origin.

The story is a succession of attempts to take the upper hand by clever twists and it really does appear that Oreh has succeeded with his final gambit, only to be defeated at the last. It's a very modern sting in the tail!

I can find no fault in the writing and technique, the story is most entertaining, so I must award five stars. Good stuff!

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is an amusing tale of two dragons saving their marriage with the help of two captured humans. Or is it a vehicle to discuss marital problems and suggest answers? No matter - it succeeds on both levels.

The piece is well written without obvious flaws and diversions. The writing is, in fact, quite tight with very little description of the surroundings and most of the background left to the reader to discern from the conversation between the two dragons. This is an effective technique that avoids the dreaded info dump and gets straight down to business. It is the very essence of good short story writing.

Which leads me on to the other requirement of short stories - the snappy ending. This tale has that in abundance, the single word "dinner" making it quite clear that those who love happy endings (or are biased in favour of humans) are going to be disappointed in this case. I love it!

Altogether, this was a most enjoyable and I have no hesitation in awarding it five stars.

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Review of A Bright Idea  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
An amusing little tale in which all problems are solved and everyone gets their just deserts. The writing is suitably brief and accurately targeted - this is, after all, flash fiction. And the final punch line is delivered on time and with humour.

I found no errors in grammar or technique in what amounts to a tightly-written, effective tale that does exactly what it was designed to do. Well done, indeed.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
If I were fifty years younger, I'd probably be a storm chaser. There is so much drama and excitement in a storm that it's easy to forget how destructive they can be.

This is a well written consideration of your relationship to storms and the One who stands with us through the worst of them. Your calm and carefully measured assessment of your own response to adversity is most impressive. You communicate well your faith in the Lord and how He assists us in our daily lives.

This is no small achievement. It is very difficult to get across one's spirituality in writing and you have managed this with apparent ease in this piece. Well done!

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Review of The Missing Arm  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
At which point, the mind boggles. There's a lot of uses an invisible arm can be put to.

This is wonderful work of the imagination and invention. So much so that I wish I'd thought of it first. And your chosen vehicle is delightfully straightforward and simple, getting the point across quickly and without fuss. Leaving it up to the reader to take the idea from there to a myriad of possibilities is true genius.

I can discern no weakness in the writing, just a sure and easy confidence in the handling of words and grammar. The piece is a gem.

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Review of Freeze Frame  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I've heard before that the warmer the liquid, the faster it freezes. Although I can imagine reasons for this, I still find it difficult to believe!

This story is, at least, another argument for the truth of the saying. And, if it isn't true, it ought to be! A pleasant, tight little story that keeps its twist for the last few lines, ably written and without fault, as far as I can see.

My one doubt is T's name. Does he not deserve a full name? I can't help but feel that you used the initial letter as a place holder until you could think of the perfect name and then forgot to fill it in when the story was complete. But, whatever the reason, I was distracted by the single letter. It may be an idea to give the poor feller a real name.

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Review of red soil in june  
Review by Beholden
Rated: E | (5.0)
Mimicking a respected poet is one of the best ways to learn, just as art students frequently copy the work of the masters to extend their skills. I am impressed with how well you have imitated the style of Mr Cummings. He's not easy to do (I know - I've tried) and you have succeeded in capturing the style whilst retaining your own vision.

Your subject is interesting. Not many would find much to say in a family waiting in the back yard for the return of the father. Yet you have maintained interest effectively with your observation of tiny but vivid details.

I know it's not important but I love that broken parenthesis, with the closing bracket on a separate line. That is so Cummings!

Brilliant work.

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Review of Lucid dreams.  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
To be honest, I wondered what the aim was in writing this. It's not a story since it has no apparent ending and it fails as a vignette because it explains nothing. I get that you're trying to describe visions and dreams but I think readers will be crying out for some sort of understanding to develop through the piece.

Things are not helped by the continual change of tense between the past and the present. I presume that you're trying to imitate the uncertain time patterns of dreams but, to me, this merely serves to irritate. Now you've made me think about how dreams deal with time and it seems to me that they are all in the present - that there is no reflection on the past in them. My objection to the tense-swapping is more on the reader's behalf, however; it matters not which view of time passing is true. It's how the reader reacts that matters. Lose the reader and your cause is lost.

It's hard to assess the piece as a result of this confusion. The attempt to nail down the experience of dreaming is admirable but I think you're going to have to insert some reason into the piece if you're going to retain readers. That's my opinion, obviously, and I could be wrong. But I think, also, that you have talent and just need a little more control of it to get the best out of it.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Your brief bio on the title page is just a tad misleading. You make it sound as though you're just a beginner at this game but I found this tale to be competently written and most engaging. Modesty is becoming, it's true, but don't overdo it or you might lose a few readers before they start. Best to let them decide for themselves.

As to the story, I found it true to its description - it is indeed sci-fi and amusing. The writing is quite masterful, effortless and faultless. If I were being picky, I could point at this sentence to carp at:

"He glanced over at the pretty young woman nursing a frothing tankard on the stool next to him."

Nursing a drink of any kind is almost a cliché these days - I know you can think of a better verb. And the word order makes me wonder why the tankard was given a stool to itself.

But that would be overcritical. I point at it merely to emphasise that I haven't been able to find anything else even slightly wrong.

The story is, as I said, engaging. I was hoping for a bit more of a surprise in the ending but the tale is certainly worth the reading for the huge imagination it evidences. Definitely a cut above the vast majority of sci-fi these days.

Well done!

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Review of The Saw Mill  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Found in Read & Review.

I like this poem a great deal. It has the power to take the reader to a place never visited and experience some of the feelings felt by the poet there. This is enhanced by the fact that the mill was known when it was working ("The buzzing saws quit snarling and rattling, spitting out piles of dust and long boards.") and enables the reader to appreciate its gradual disintegration after closing down.

Above all else, the place has become a haven for youthful memories that call the poet back. An echo is established between this description and similar places in the reader's minds. We have all known places that hold a hoard of our memories.

The form is interesting, too. Four lines, only the last two rhyming (until the last stanza when the first two rhyme as well), and the repeating of the word "memory" in the last line. This is subtly done, being quite unobtrusive and apparently without forcing. It's a poem that repays repeated reading. Most enjoyable.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Found in Read & Review.

This is an interesting account of a performance review experienced by a prospective hitman for some form of secret military organisation. As such, it rings quite true, although a little extreme at times. The main point is the difference in training of a military sniper and that of a hitman. As pointed out late in the piece, the hitman has to be a weapon that is pointed and fired according to his intructions without consideration of his own assessment of any given situation.

The story certainly succeeds in its aim of making clear the stark choice available to its protagonist. Which, of course, makes the reader wonder whether there really are organisations that ruthless in existence.

There was one slight irritation in the syle that may be entirely personal to me. The use of "cause" instead of "because" grates, even when it is in reported speech. When two characters in the same brief story apparently have the same habit, it distracts me and I start wondering how likely that is. As I mentioned, this is a personal preference and you may well dismiss it as unimportant.

Otherwise, I can find nothing wrong with the piece and must congratulate you on a fine piece of writing.

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Review of At The Door  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Found in Read & Review.

A short story that begins as a discussion of the hazards of living in the big city. When there's a knock on the door, the story begins to get going, with the discussion becoming ever more urgent and pointed. The final hunt for an intruder leads to the conclusion that the visitor may not have had bad intentions at all.

It's an interesting insight into the matter of answering the door in a high population area. There are some aspects that could be tightened up, however. The protagonaist's name, for instance, should be given much earlier than it is. Calling her "she" is valid enough as long as you stick to it. When you introduced the name Sarah into the story, however, I was at loss to know who you were referring to. It was a while before it became clear that Sarah was the "she" of the first two paragraphs. It's unecessarily distracting to introduce the name at that late stage. Better to get it done in the first sentence or two.

I'm also a little concerned about the hesitancy with which your punchline was introduced. The fact that there is still uncertainty in Sarah's mind at the end leads the writer to think that there may be more to the story thereafter. But, if so, you haven't written it. Probably best to make the decision that the visitor is harmless a good deal clearer.

So there's not much wrong with the story and it's easily mended. And the discussion is involving.

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Review of Stick To It  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I found this poem on a run through Read & Review.

Every time I come across something by you, I have to read it. I thought it would be hard work, reading such a long poem, but, of course, it wasn't. You trapped me in the first few lines and held me spellbound all the way to the end. It was at that point that I noticed the four stars others had averaged out at in their assessments (it's not every sentence that manages a combination like "out at in."). Sometimes other people mystify me.

I mean, I did notice the use of a forbidden word (rice) on the read through but was that really worth the loss of a star? I think not. And surely we're not here to judge on behalf of the contest, are we? I wouldn't care if you'd used all of the red words. The contest is long gone but the poem remains and we should consider it without recourse to obsolete parameters.

You know already of my current interest in long lines in poetry so it should be no surprise that am so impressed with the power of this poem. I guess I must truly be a fan of yours because I've never found anything you write to be less than exceptional. Generally I read and depart without saying anything, not wanting to bother you with so many plaudits that I begin to annoy. This one, however, insists that I at least let you know how good I think it is. It is, in my estimation, perfect.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Found on a run through Read & Review.

I like the air of world weariness in this. It is created carefully, with a gradual piling of minor and apparently unimportant events, one upon another. The scene appears gradually, as do the characters, and the tale rolls on to its world weary end.

Perhaps the strangest thing is that the real action, the hinge of the story, is hardly spoken at all. How did a young guy, obviously out of his natural environment, have those old beer drinkers eventually drinking chocolate martinis with him? Is there even such a drink? But it doesn't matter. Somehow it becomes a discussion of the kid's marital problems, with the older men knowing just how it goes and the young one confirming their guesses. A weary cynicism indeed.

It's a delightful story and the most apt demonstration that short stories don't have to have a twist in their tails. Sometimes it's just the writing that matters.

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Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Found this on a run through Read & Review.

This is a fascinating story with a totally unexpected ending. The idyllic beginning gradually dissolves as minor but strange events begin to multiply. When the end comes, it is like a shock from nowhere, a terrible counterpoint to the opening paragraphs. The story is almost unclassifiable, a mixture of sci-fi, fantasy, family, relationship and horror. It is truly ground-breaking.

The writing is superb, completely without flaw and smooth as silk. One is unable to resist going along with it, being drawn into the story with ease and becoming increasingly desperate to know how it ends. I don't think I've read a better handled story in WdC.

The thing is, I can't end by saying that it's entirely enjoyable. The ending is so effective that I cannot escape the feelings it left with me. I admire the writing and creativity but, ultimately, the end was a little strong for me. And that is my weakness, not the story's. It remains faultless.

Wonderful stuff.

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Review of Uncle Milo  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Stumbled on this one on a run through Read & Review.

This is a very entertaining story of an excuse invented to explain a trampled clover patch. It's a simple enough tale but the telling is so well written that it emerges as that most difficult thing to achieve - a truly funny comedic story. This is thanks to an eye for detail, an ability to describe events in a matter-of-fact but conversational tone and the preserving of the real twist for the final sentence.

I note that it was written for a contest and must have been subject to a word count limit as a result. But, if there is a weakness in the story, it is that the telling of Uncle Milo's history takes up a little too much of the tale. It gets quite complicated at times and, considering that, ultimately, it's all rather irrelevant, it could be shortened a bit. Or am I reflecting my feelings at having read through it all, just to get to the punchline? It's a minor poiint, anyway. The story is great just as it stands.

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Review of The Cleansing  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Found on yet another run through Read & Review.

This is a finely wrought tale of horror and suspense in the old London of the Ripper. It draws too on the story of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in that the main character is possessed by the spirit of the Ripper, creating one who commits awful murders, another who stands by, horrified, but powerless to stop the crimes.

Until he finds a way, of course. This is very clever, to devise a means for the good doctor to escape the machinations of the murderer. The whole story is well written, without fault that I can discern. There was some confusion when the Ripper first makes an entrance but this adds to the suspense - the reader is still trying to sort out who is what when the murder makes it clear that they are one and the same.

An impressive bit of story-telling.

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Review of Masculin/Feminin  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (2.0)
Found on my travels through Read & Review.

Ah, a kaleidoscope of words, a veritable waterfall of verbiage plunging over the cliff of my experience to douse me in their colours and tastes and smells. On the one hand, it's a delightful shower of sensations, meaningless in the profusion of meanings, a demonstration of the fact that the more is piled on, the deeper is any logic buried. On the other, it's not something that will stand as a communication of reason, feeling or just emptiness. Mixing metaphors in such a manner may be fun and it may own a sound that tickles the ear but, in the end, they just hide what you're trying to say.

There are some good metaphors here, word combinations that stand out as beautiful and meaningful. Unfortunately, their vague and inappropriate neighbours shout so loudly that value is lost and it becomes an amorphous soup. You have the beginnings of a story here - boy enters restaurant, sees girl, they get to talking and leave together. The rest adds nothing except confusion.

This is my advice, which you can take or not (obviously): rein in your talent for creating word streams, acquire the discipline to pick out the relevant from the pretty but meaningless and focus clearly on what you are trying to say. Anything that doesn't help towards that goal has to go. But never lose the ability to produce such wonderful streams of colour and sound. Just learn to control it and to apply it with more economy and accuracy.

You could be great.

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Review of The Seating Chart  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Reviewed as part of the GHOSTLY HALLOWS Fall Power RAID.

This is an interesting tale, quite educational in some ways and dealing with the subject of ghosts without ever mentioning the word (yeah, I read your description). You have succeeded in giving us a history lesson without boring us and, at the same time, told an entertaining story of how the seating plan might actually be known after all.

One of the interesting aspects of the story is that it requires no suspension of belief in the reader. We actually want it to be true so that history an be fleshed out a little more. And we can smile ruefully with the author in his final admission that no one believed Rudy. So the story ends as one that succeeds without hugely dramatic scenes or unlikely endings. It is like the British TV series, Detectorists, in that we are left with the impression that we have been part of something that is very real.

A highly enjoyable read.

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Review of Scarecrows  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Reviewed as part of the GHOSTLY HALLOWS Fall Power RAID.

Well, you succeeded in making me read it more than once. Thought I had it all worked out and approached the ending, expecting my solution to be presented. But I got closer and closer and nothing was happening (very well done, by the way, to keep the reader hooked right until the last sentence). And then it wasn't what I thought.

So I had to read it all again. Slowly and carefully. And still I wasn't sure. Read the last two paragraphs again to confirm my growing suspicion. And I think I have it now. I take it that a scarecrow is held upright by a nail pinning him to a post. Local knowledge does help sometimes.

It's clever and I like this story very much. The writing is smooth, the pace excellent and the final twist excellently retained until the very last moment. I can't really fault it at all (apart from that final nagging doubt about the nail in the back). Bravo!

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Review of Until It Sleeps  
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Reviewed as part of the GHOSTLY HALLOWS Fall Power RAID.

An effective short horror story, this stands out for its descriptions. These form much of the narrative and create the atmosphere and background of the fairly simple story that forms the framework of the piece. It's a cleverly constructed tale in which the battle between good and evil continues in spite of the deal that has been made. That's an age old foundation for a story and it still works.

I admit that there was slight disappointment in there being no resolution in the end. Both sides are determined to win and certain that they will succeed. Which kinda leaves us back where we started. But the story is worth it for the powerful writing and descriptions. And I'm not sure that providing a winner will work anyway. I can see why you left it undecided.

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